Look, I don't really have a clue what this is about. Its kinda depressing thing that's sorta based off something I thought up in my head. Here it is.

I stood here just watching my friends and teammates.

They were all so happy, laughing and playing around

All but me.

I can't, I'm not really one of them. I've been changed, inside and out.

My teammates said it doesn't really matter, that I'm still me.

Still the same.

But I see the sadness in their eyes when they tell me this.

I know their lying.

I've changed and I know it. My appearance or my personality, it doesn't matter which changed, I'm different now.

I see the fear in the matorns eyes as I walk by. I try to ignore it, really I do.

But it doesn't work.

All my life I've been a hero to my people, the matorn.

But now, I'm not sure what I am, Hero or beast?

Savior or monster?

I can still the urge the longing to kill sometimes, and it scares me. It scares me because I know that sometime, I won't be able to resist that urge, and I will give in to the rahi, the beast trapped inside of me.

I don't want to kill any of my friends, or destroy my home.

But I know someday, there is a great possibilty of that happening.

Oh Mata Nui please don't let that happen. I don't want to become the monster inside me again. Kill me instead. Please just don't let it happen.

She destroyed my life, Roodika did. She turned me into this… a monster.

I use to be a hero, a Toa.

Now I am just a beast, a former shell of what I was.

What I could've been.

Who could love me, what I am? I'm a monster inside and out.

Yet my teammates stand by me, they refuse to give up on me. They say it doesn't matter what you look like, it's who you are that makes you a Toa. So then, why do you still consider me a Toa? I've done…terrible things. They know, well one does. One knows what I do, what I did. No, maybe it wasn't to a Matorn, but I still did terrible things in my rage, when the beast excaped.

They say we're gonna find a way to correct what's been done to me.

They speak with such confidence, and determination I almost believe them.

Almost.

I see the doubt in their eyes when they tell me this.

I know their lying, just trying to give me hope, a reason to keep holding on. Because the chance of finding the antidote for this is very slim, if impossible. Nobody knows if Keetongu still lives anyway. He could be long dead, or left to another island. I mean, it was pure luck that he was found the first time, and now….well like I said, there's a good chance he's dead anyway.

But I've given up trying to have hope.

I've lost it, it means nothing to me.

Hope is an illusion created by the heart so the mind won't give up. But…. I'm losing both my heart and my mind.

I don't care anymore about the things I use to love. I toss them away, they mean nothing now, and it scares me. I use to love just watching the stars, now, it is a pointless activity, that use to bring such wonder, only now seems to waste my time.

I've tried so hard theise past few days to ignore the waryness in my friends' eyes.

They don't trust me anymore. I've become more and more animalistic theise days, falling deeper into the chasim of becoming a rahi, that I know if I fall too far down, there's no escaping it.

So much for I haven't changed.

It's getting harder to force a smile when your friends, the same ones who say you're the same the same ones who say there's nothing wrong with you, don't trust you anymore.

Oh Mata Nui it hurts so bad.

But I can't blame them, I try hard not to.

Look at what I have become.

What I could become.

A mindless monster, a killing machine.

They shouldn't trust me, I don't want them to. I could succumb to the rahi inside at any second and kill them.

They need to be ready to defend themselves if I attack.

But a small part of me cries for someone to sit next to me, completely trusting and not afraid or disturbed by me. For someone who loves me, not for what I look like, but for who I am.

Or more like, who I was.

I'm beacoming a rahi, a wild animal.

And not being trusted by my friends, being feared by those who use to look up at me, is driving me farther down the dark, foggy path, that I cannot return from.

The path that, I don't want to take, yet, at the same time, I want to.

The path promises no more fear, no more rejection, no more hate.

Yet it also means brutally killing the ones I love. It means no control over myself, my body.

I want trust, I want to still by cared for by my siblings. But I can't. I can't risk their lives for my petty wants.

So I still sit here, high above them, in the shadow of a cave, sadly watching my friends play and laugh, or simply talk to one another.

While I sit in my isolated prison, far away so I can do no harm.

A single tear slips from my eye.

I am no hero that is depicted in an epic tale. No savior of my people.

I am a beast, dangerous wild. I am truly…

a monster.

Yeah…. Ok, this is a crappy story, but I wanted to write this out. The person talking can be whoever you want it to be. A toa Metru, Toa Nuva or an OC even. your choice . Feel free to comment on this. Flames are accepted and reviews are welcome

Thanks,

Shadowed ice