The Ones That Get Away
. .
Telma's Bar. Not the first place that comes into mind when one thinks of a romantic date. Dark, moody, glum. The distinct scent smell of last night's exhausted coffee hung in the air. But for the couple sitting at the table for two in the corner, it would do. For today.
"So…" Malon started, drumming her fingers on the table, desperately trying to think of something to talk about, anything to break the awkward silence that had fallen between them at the table. Her 'date', Malo stared back at her, studying her every move, making her feel acutely uncomfortable.
"Err…… umm…Oh hey! Did you get a haircut? Cause it looks good on you, you know? …eheh…" she finished awkwardly, quickly facing the walls of the bar, busying herself by studying the intricate patterns of the brickwork.
Malo simply nodded, unblinking, his gaze still focused on Malon's face.
'Okay this is NOT WORKING!' she thought to herself. 'I HAVE to get out of here NOW,' she screamed inwardly. Her eyes scanned the bar, frantically searching for an escape route out of this awkward situation. 'Maybe I could just run for it,' she schemed. 'But then I'd have to face him sooner or later…'
An idea struck her. Malon made a casual reach for her glass behind her back, trying to make it look like she was grabbing her drink. Instead, she purposely knocked it over, the glass and its contents fell to the ground with a resounding…
SMASH!
A few light screams accompanied, followed by most heads in the bar turning and looked up.
Realising that she had unwittingly attracted the attention of the majority of the bar, Malon blushed, silently mouthing words of apologies to those who were staring distastefully at her.
She turned back to Malo. "Oh Malo, I'm so clumsy! My hand must have slipped…" She attempted to put on her best puppy-dog face.
'Oh Gods, that was so cliché,' warned her mind. She wondered if Malo would buy it.
However, his gaze remained unperturbed. "Don't worry, accidents happen," he stated simply. Was that a hint of sarcasm? Honestly, she couldn't tell.
"Oh gosh, would you look at the time!" She gestured in the vague direction of the wall clock.
"I must be going now, got stuff to take care of at Lon Lon. Those cows won't herd themselves into the barn you know!" She put on a cheesy grin to emphasise her point. "But I really enjoyed our…" She paused for a second, at a loss for words. A date? Is that what it was? Hardly… they'd only exchanged greetings, and sat down at the table for their drinks. Not exactly what you'd call 'romantic'.
"Our…um…drinks!" she finished. "Yes, I enjoyed having a drink with you. I had a swell time!" She made an enthusiastic swing of her arm to emphasise her point.
And with that, she stood up and made to leave, despite the fact that they had only been sitting at the table for an hour or so.
"Sit down." commanded Malo. Malon froze, taken aback by his sudden change of tone. "You hardly touched your drink. Allow me to buy you another." he went on, in the same commando-like voice.
"Oh no, no… I really couldn-"
"Sit!" Malo commanded, pointing his finger at her, then to the chair.
Malon quickly obeyed like a trained dog, slightly out of fright. It was ironic, that a guy half her size could induce such a fear in her. And did he just point at her? Rule number one: you NEVER point a finger at a girl when she…
"Telma. Telma… Telmaa… TELMAAA!!" Malo waved Telma over to their table.
'The authority that emanates from this little midget is truly astounding…' Malon mused.
Telma rushed over to their table.
"One more Buzzy Bastard." Malo ordered.
Telma nodded, and turned back towards the counter. Was that a look of disapproval she flashed me?
And then it was back to square one. Malon once again found herself sitting at the table, not knowing what to make of the awkward situation. Malo's gaze was still intently fixed on her. Sighing inwardly, she reflected, wondering how the hell she had gotten herself into this mess.
Flashback
The tranquil hum of Ordon was momentarily disturbed by the arrival of a horse and rider. The rider dismounted, and helped off his passenger, a redheaded country girl, who seemed unfamiliar to the surroundings. The village children, unaccustomed to visitors, jumped at the opportunity and quickly swarmed around them.
"So this is it," Link gestured to the scenery around him. Ordon Village. Home.
"Adorable, isn't it?" Link stated fondly. Despite all the places he had visited in his travels, Ordon was the one place that would forever have a special place in his heart.
"Oh yes! Very so!" Malon squealed.
Link was humbled by her response.
"Yeah I know. You should watch it when the sun sets. The colours that it makes, it's absolutely…"
He abruptly stopped when he realised that Malon wasn't talking about Ordon. Instead, her attention was focused on one of the village children, a short, infantile-like boy, by the name of Malo.
"Oh aren't you the cutest little boy!" Malon exclaimed in delight. She reached down in an attempt to squeeze his cheeks.
"Don't touch what you can't afford!" came his response. Malo arrogantly swatted her hand away. However, his rejection only seemed to infatuate Malon even more.
"Sooo cuuute!" Malon continued to swoon wildly over Malo.
End Flashback
And then eventually, it had led to the two of them sharing a drink at this very table. But he'd seemed so sweet and charming at the time… It was hard to think that this very same person was the one sitting opposite her. She noticed that his gaze was still on her.
Doesn't he know that it's rude to stare? She let out a frustrated growl.
Malo noticed this, and his indifferent expression immediately changed to one of puzzlement.
Malon realized her mistake, and quickly turned it into a coughing fit.
cough cough
"Dearie me! I seem to be having a coughing fit at the moment!" Malon exclaimed.
She coughed some more, to sustain her act.
cough cough
"Would you like some medicine?" Malo interjected. Malon immediately stopped her coughing fit. Malo waved at Telma, to get her to come over.
"Oh no, no! I'm fine now! See? All better now! All is good!"
Telma arrived at their table
"One Buzzy Bustard," she drawled.
"And something to cure this gorgeous lady's cough please," added Malo.
Malon cringed at the cheesy way Malo had addressed her.
With an aggravated sigh, Telma turned and disappeared behind the bar counter, before returning with a bottle.
"Crushed Deku nuts," drawled Telma, placing the bottle filled with the powder-like substance on the table. "Good for curing coughs."
"Oh, um – that'll not be-," started Malon
"Fifty rupees please," muttered Telma.
"All I have is three," declared Malo, pulling out a handful of green rupees from his pocket. "Malon, do you-"
"DAMIT!" screamed Malon. She couldn't take it anymore. His arrogance, his pitiful attempts at acting 'gentlemanly'. It seemed that her pent up rage was going to be released in one big eruption.
"DAMN YOU, STUPID MIDGET!" accused Malon. Her outburst once again caught the attention of everyone in the bar.
Guessing that whatever was going to happen next was not going to be a pretty sight, Telma slinked away and hid behind the bar counter.
"YOU IMBECILE! WHAT YOU PLAYING AT? TAKING ME OUT TO THIS DUMP-"
Telma winced.
"AND MAKING ME FEEL ALL AWKWARD! I HAD A HORRIBLE TIME! YOU WASTED MY SATURDAY NIGHT! AND TO THINK I TURNED DOWN GOING FISHING WITH LINK!"
"Malon, I-"
"QUIET!"
Malo immediately stopped talking.
"YOU KEEP YOUR NUTS, MIDGET!" Malon grabbed the bottle of crushed Deku nuts and flung its contents at Malo. His face was sprayed by the powdery substance, effectively blinding him.
"ARRGHH!! MY EYES!" yelled Malo, clawing at his face. He fell off his chair and rolled around on the ground in agony.
The sight of a blinded midget, rolling around on the floor, kicking and screaming in pain was one Malon would usually have found amusing. But not today, the circumstances were different.
Ignoring the murmurs of disapproval she was getting, Malon turned and stormed out of the bar. The door slammed shut, and everyone was quiet, not knowing what to make of the situation.
…
"Damn, that midget just got PWNED!" declared the postman, from his usual spot in the corner.