A Mass Delusion of Mayhem

Reno is making Mac and Cheese and Elena fires up the barbeque. Hear the horror stories of making these all time favorite goods. But wait! What about Rude and his story?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the related thingies in this fic (Turks, people, etc.) but elena's pet and Reno's monster I do own.

Chapter One: Operation – Dinner

Elena strolled down the hallway with a smile on her face, carrying a load of files under her arm. She was having a good day, a very good day. Don't know why… she's just having a good day. Anyways…

She took a right in the hall, taking a turn into a small, banged up office where a very bored redhead throwing is electro-meg rod like a baton and a very, very bald man with sunglasses was doing his work.

"Morning Reno… morning Rude!" Elena smiled. She jumped for joy and twirled around the room as she put files on Reno and Rude's desks. She looked to see that both men were staring at her like an idiot. Her face went straight. "What?"

"What the hell was in your coffee 'Lena?" Rude looked through his sunglasses as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, who peed in your Cheerios this morning?" Reno replied, taking his feet off the desk. "You usually yell at me and ignore Rude, did you by any chance 'do it' with Tseng last night?" Reno grinned as he made the hand motion like bunny ears when he said 'do it'.

Elena gave Reno a death glare. "First off… No Rude. Second… I did not have Cheerios this morning…I had Apple Jacks. Third… RENO YOU PERV!" She jumped over Reno's desk and pounded him to the floor… punching him constantly has he yelped in pain.

"Ow! Ow! Pain! Too Much! MOOD SWING! PMS! RUDE!" Reno yelled in pain as Elena punched even harder. "RAVAGE WOMAN IS INFLICTIN PAIN ON AN UNARMED MAN! CO-WORKER ABUSE!"

"Children… play nice." Rude was still doing paperwork as the redhead was beaten up. Rude shook his head as he was ignored. "Women…"

Then Tseng walked in… noticing the blonde beating up the redhead.

Elena heard the door and jumped up, hopped over Reno's desk, straighten up, and stood in position, ready for orders. Reno was left on the floor all banged up.

"Ok, new mission from –" Tseng was interrupted as Reno shot up from the floor, unharmed, shirt was torn up, his hair a mess, and acted like nothing as wrong and yelled. "YES! NO MORE PAPERWORK! TELL ME MORE ALMIGHTY SAVIOR! FOR THIS PMSING BLONDE NEARLY KILLED ME!"

Tseng lifted an eyebrow, "Ok then. We are all needed to make dinner for the annual Turk dinner… just the four of us and I'll mention who the special guests are in a minute."

Elena smiled. "Great! I can make my brownies again!"

Reno looked at Elena. "Great! I'll bring—"

"Reno, no takeout! Second… I make the orders of what everyone makes… I don't need the scenario of what happened to Elena last year with Rude's chili!" Tseng shouted out.

"Oh… Rude's 'Chili of DOOM!'" Reno has his arms in the arm, swooping over Elena and making 'wooooo' noises like a ghost. Elena smacked him across the face. Rude smiled. He was proud to hear that Reno loved his chili and that Elena smacked him for last year's incident.

"You added extra hot sauce to it you jerk!" Elena yelled and kicked Reno.

"Reno, you are making macaroni and cheese." Tseng pointed to Reno. "And I'll be nice to say that you can make it out of the box."

Reno whimpered as her rubbed his face from Elena's smack. "Crap…"

"Elena, you are making the meat, pork chops, use a barbeque, it makes it better." Tseng looked at Elena.

Elena gulped in fear… she has never used a barbeque. This was more for Rude to do since he was the barbeque master.

"Rude… lucky you… yours is special, see me after we get done work to hear what you have to make." Tseng smiled.

Rude, still doing paperwork, gave a one thumbs up. "Sure…"

"See you all tonight at my house." Tseng smiled as he backed out of the door. "Good luck... oh and Rufus and the President will be our guests… ta ta!" Tseng left the room feeling happy… a little too happy… anyways…

Reno stood there in shock. "We're screwed… big time!"

Elena leaned over. "At least it ain't Scarlet and Heig' coming. Remember?"

"Oh god, the pain of pleasing a bitchy woman and a crabby boss." Rude said, finishing the paperwork.

Reno and Elena glared at him. This was the first time they had heard him complain about work or employees... ever.

Yay! Oneshot Chapter 1 of my fic is up! I'll have Ch. 2 and 3 up soon. Next!

The Trip to the Grocery Store... MWAHAHAHAHA