Nny was home finally. The old neighborhood. It had been four years. Nothing had changed, except that more people had moved back. Without him killing them, of course, the neighborhood had been deemed safe again. He'd have to get to work thinning them out very, very soon.
He was at the corner of his block, when he decided he wanted to visit the house next to his. 775 Faust Drive. The home of the little boy he used to relish visiting. He wondered how the child had fared with those slimeball parents of his. How old was he now? Twelve? Thirteen? He hadn't ever really figured out how old Squee was then. He guessed between six and eight.
He was outside the window that entered into Squee's room when he heard the unmistakable wail of someone dying. Curious, and slightly concerned- though doubtful- that it may have been Squee dying, he lept up into the window, which, even after all this time, was still missing its glass from the first time Nny had smashed it to gain entrance and borrow some disinfectant after a scrap with a particularly riled victim.
Nny heard people coming, objects breaking in their wake. He barely had time to slip under Squee's bed when the door to Squee's room smashed open in splinters. Todd Casil- or an older, shaggier, boy with a roughly shaved face who bore a resemblance to Todd Casil- landed amidst the cracked and splintered wood, covered in little cuts and bruises. Weakly, he curled his legs up, his arms across his chest. His father strode in, a cocky look on his face. Nny's blood boiled. He knew the boy's parents were always neglectful. Usually, on the rare occasions they acknowledged his existence back then, it was to bitch at him about how he supposedly ruined their lives. Nny had figured it wouldn't change, that they'd remain neglectful and let Todd live for himself, but boy was he wrong. He felt a pang of regret for leaving Squee.
"Little shit!" a male voice hissed. "You live under MY roof. What are you doing with that little whore? Trying to make more mouths for me to feed?"
"Sh-sh-she's j-just a friend, dad." Todd stammered.
"Buh-Buh-buh-bullshit." The man came into the room. "First you drag that little asshole Pepito into my house to criticize the way I raise you, when I could have just as easily gotten rid of you and stopped supporting your mother. Now, now this little twit! Fuck you. Fuck you. Get out of my house. Fuck whoever you wanna, but as far as I'm concerned. You. Are. Nothing."
Mr. Casil was continuing his mind-numbing self-pitying rant as Nny crawled out from under the bed.
"Who the fuck is this asshole, Todd?" He barked as the strange, but somehow familiar young man stood up and faced him. "This one of your mother's new screws?"
"I. Would. Never," Nny said sharply. "I would never touch slime balls like you or your wife. I'm here because, clearly, Squee here needs someone who cares. And if he has a better chance of getting that from someone like me than from you, then that speaks volumes to your character, and none of it is flattering"
"What did you call him, Squee? That's a weird fucking pet name. And why do you care anyway? You wouldn't care any more than I do if you'd been saddled with a kid you didn't want! You..." suddenly the face of the man before Mr. Casil became linked with a memory. "You're the one who hit me with the robot! I'm blind in one eye because of you! You have no place here, no right to be here. Get out, and if you want, if you 'care' so much, take this little leech on my energy and bank account with you! I'll be glad to sign any pa-" Smack! Mr. Casil was stopped dead. His head lurched forward. He stared forward a moment, dazed, then collapsed flat on his face, giving Todd little time to roll-scoot out of the way.
A young woman with maroon hair cut into a short bob stood behind where Mr. Casil was. She wore a simple Kohl brown dress and black leggings and held a bloody monkey wrench in her hand. She tsk-tsked and shook her head in disdain.
"Gaz?" Todd said, bewildered, managing to pull himself up into a sitting position.
"No offense, Todd," Gaz said flatly crossing her arms and shifting all her weight onto one leg so her hip moved to one side, "but your dad's a pile of shit." She jerked her forehead towards Nny. "Who's your friend?"
"Oh, Gaz... this is Johnny." He tried to hint to her with his eyes to be discrete, to act like she didn't know him or of him, because he knew his neighbor hated being talked about.
A flash of recognition crossed Gaz's golden eyes. "That Johnny?"
"He's talked about me?" Nny asked, more awestruck than angry.
"Oh, not so much talked as written. He's got a notebook full of what you used to tell him. I read a lot of it. Deep stuff. 'Just a human, not worth devoting any nightmares to.' I like that one. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some kind of obsessed fan girl. You will never hear me squeal while chanting your name. But I can relate to some of it.
"Actually, I kinda owe you one. You gave Todd words to help him power through this asshole's shit." She brutally kicked the heap that was Mr. Casil as she stepped over him towards Todd, and offered the boy a hand to help him up. "And without it, I might have lost him before I found him."
After hauling Todd to his feet, Gaz walked right up to Nny. Fearlessly. It unnerved him, and terrified Todd, but she just examined Nny coolly.
"Gaz..." Todd started to say nervously. Sure, this was the girl who captured the heart of the Antichrist (and Pepito, though she'd rejected him, still didn't have the heart to get back at her for disgracing him; he'd worked himself on several occasions into fiery vengeful fits that dissolved into shameless pleas for her love as soon as he came face to face with her), but that was also Nny! No more needed to be said.
"Do you have somewhere to keep him?" she asked. "If not, I can see if Aunt Rosemary and Uncle S'tan will allow an extra guest."
"I'd really rather not go to Pepito's, Gaz," Todd muttered. He liked Pepito, but wasn't fond of his home at all.
Poof! A swirling burst of scarlet flame exploded in front of them. The flame extinguished itself immediately, leaving behind a pile of ash as the feet of a towering seven-foot boy with glossy black horns on his forehead that curved up and back over pointed ears decorated by three mismatched piercings in each. His hair was a long black mohawk. "Hola Todd," the Antichrist piped up excitedly in a heavy Spanish accent. He slinked up behind Gaz, and leaned down to hover his head above her right shoulder and muttered in a french accent free of impediments of the Spanish accent previous. "Bonjour, Gaz," he half-whispered in her ear.
"Eww. Incest." she said, pulling away from him.
"Cad a dhéanann sé ábhar?" he said in old Irish, his arms spread out in an indifferent gesture. "Darling, you're my cousin only by marriage. Your father's sister and my mother's brother."
"That's plenty close," she shuddered. "Especially to you." She turned back to Todd. "Well, you're not staying here. Not if he might wake up, because if he does it'll just be more bruises and cuts for you." She said decisively. "Or what if one of your whore mother's other boyfriends show up? Those sick bastards have raped you before, and what's to stop them from scumming around here twenty four-seven if he doesn't wake up?"
" No," Pepito said decisively, his voice recoiling into the Hispanic accent. "Neither option is acceptable. If he can't take you, I will tie you up and stash you in Dib's van and drive you across town to my house."
Nny felt out of the loop. He didn't know there were more than just the two people making Squee's life miserable, and now he was grateful for Todd's sake that Gaz and Pepito were there, though still guilty that he wasn't.
"My mother loves having Todd over," Pepito added. "Always welcome, amigo."
Todd still looked hesitant.
Nny nodded. "Well, Squee, if you'd rather stay at my house..."
Todd jumped at the sound of his old nickname. "Ummm..."Nny shrugged. He didn't blame the kid for changing his mind. Usually his company consisted of cadavers-to-be, and Todd knew it. He'd had front row seat to most of Nny's guests entering, and probably noticed that they never came out. That is, other than Devi, an old flame of Nny's, and possibly that one girl, Tess, the one that seemed nice, if perhaps a little too conformist, who happened to be in the company of some asshole, and when they left, Nny felt it was a safe bet they were running and screaming, even though both times he was severely wounded. Even he didn't really want to go to in the house yet. Too many bad associations.
"Todd should come over anyway," Pepito chimed in. "You should come too... Nny." The Antichrist said his name in a tone that Nny wasn't sure he trusted. And who, in their right mind, would invite Nny to their house? At any rate, it would be an excuse not to go into his own house.
They walked outside to where a large black van sat parked in the driveway. Gaz motioned at the driver, and the door opened. Out climbed a boy of seventeen, tall with narrow shoulders and a skinny neck that made his head seem bigger, especially with the single scythe-shaped spike of hair that grew from the top of his bangs, extended back over his shaggy head, and fell down to the middle of his back. He strode towards his sister, the beaten-up little boy and the homicidal maniac.
"What happened to you, Todd?" he asked, his brows furrowed in worry. "Your dad?"
Todd nodded solemnly.
He extended his hand out to Nny. "I'm Dib, by the way, Todd's friend, Gaz's brother."
Nny nodded. "Hello, Dib. I'm Nny. Todd's neighbor."
"Todd's neighbor," Pepito laughed sardonically and shook his head. "You understate yourself, Johnny."
"Who... Who are you exactly?" Nny asked
"Ah. My father didn't mention me? Funny, he talks about you quite often. Your visit to Hell, your career as a flusher, the fact that you're the spitting image of a man he dated in a female form long before meeting my mother, one that knocked him up. He surrogated the embryo into his poor wife who wanted to conceive but couldn't. One Lillith Casil. She got heavy into drugs, and the baby got abandoned. The father was one Simon Moore. He took her name, because his had a rather unsavory record attached to it."
"Those are my parents!"Todd pointed out.
"Yes, yes they are." Pepito nodded, knowingly, gesturing flourishingly to Nny. "Say hello to Todd's big half brother..." his voice dropped in enthusiasm. "And mine."
"I'm home father, mother," Pepito called to his parents. "I found my cousins, and we have company."
"Bring them into the dining room, son," A bright, chirruping female voice called back. "I made angel food cake."
Both Pepito and Nny had to resist the urge to vomit. "Sounds great, mom," Pepito said through a forced smile. Dib's expression was genuine happiness, however. Todd's was also pleased. He so rarely got sweets. That was one of the nice things about coming here.
"Hey, dad?" Pepito hollered, trying to take his mind off the dry, spongy crap his mother insisted on making on at least a tri-daily basis.
"In the basement." Mr. D's voice called from downstairs.
"We need to talk. May we come down?"
"Certainly." S'tan-Luc Diablo was currently sitting in his office, behind a desk, reading the psychological profile of one of his many incoming residents. Poor man was lost. He'd be here awhile. On top of it, he was catholic. Hell for him. S'tan hated giving the fire treatment.
Mr. Diablo's business was to cleanse the souls of the tainted, to make them worthy of, and ready for, the peace at the end of their souls' journeys.
For all the crap he got up top for being harsh, he got results. It wasn't so much punishment as therapy, if in some cases torturous therapy that, for him, didn't always seem to work. A bunch of his clients thanked him before ascending to Nirvana or whatever they called it. He was much like a shrink in that he was charged with thoroughly examining their minds to get to the bottom of what troubled the souls; however, unlike a shrink, had access to, and was free to use, whatever method was necessary- some not very pleasant for him or the client- to fix their issues, to ease their guilt in whatever method they were hardwired by their various cultures and lifestyles to believe would help them better themselves. A long time in a pit of fire, or reincarnation into what they perceived to be a lower form of existence. He did it all, but he greatly preferred the times when simple counseling would suffice, usually with atheists and agnostics.
He loved, however, having his son interested in his work. It was to be Pepito's work as well, as was his birthright and duty as Satan's first surviving son. Well, his first thriving son, anyways.
"Hello, father," Pepito's voice said from behind.
"Hello, son." Senior. Diablo greeted. "How's your Latin coming?"
"Ever progressing, father," Pepito nodded. "My Gaelic Irish seems to be progressing as well, but I didn't drag my friends down here to discuss my progress as the devil."
"Tell your cousins and friends to come in." Mr. Diablo gestured to the young man and the three teenagers standing behind his son in the doorway, Gaz trying to coax the others into the office.
Nny entered free of Gaz trying to usher him in as she did Todd and Dib. He took note that she politely avoided brushing him in. So Todd had been very descriptive of him, including his disdain for physical contact. It was both creepy and flattering. At any rate, she'd known he wasn't hesitating out of fear; unlike her paranoid brother and the all-out chicken shit Todd, he was staring there frozen in concentration over something. Nny took one of the two stuffed chairs facing Mr. D's desk, and Gaz, after rejecting Pepito's offer to let her sit on his lap on the other, she walked over to a wall beside Nny's chair and stood, leaning against it.
"Nny?" S'tan recognized him after a moment. "I knew I knew you. It's been a few years, eh?"
Nny regarded the man before him. Moderate height, build, moderate everything except his rather long mousy brown ponytail that ran straight down his grey suit collard neck. "Who the fuck are you?"
The Devil, IN HIS BUSINESSMAN DISGUISE, laughed. "Maybe this will refresh your memory..." POOF! The man was suddenly engulfed in flames, which then dissolved to reveal a horrid, red-shinned, horned, mini-skirted Horror that made even Pepito's blood curdle. Nny screamed and lurched back, nearly toppling his chair. Gaz and Dib caught and righted him."CHEEEEEEER LEEEEEAAAAADEEEERRR!"
"Do you remember me now, darling?" the Cheerleader singsonged in the high pitched squeal of a grotesquely excited teenage girl. She leaned across the table, flashing him his/her cleavage, though more to aggravate the fear he knew Nny had of cheerleaders than to tantalize him.
"Father!" Pepito chided, looking away and shielding his eyes from the sight. "Is that necessary?" he yelled a few lines in a dialect that didn't seem human.
Nny was terrified, even more so when he realized this was Pepito's father... so, his father... or mother, if it was in this or some other female form that Mr. D had sired him.
He relaxed a bit, resettling on the chair, but his eyes stayed wide. "So that... wasn't a dream?" Mr. Devil was busy Addressing Pepito's question. "No, no it wasn't" he/she shook his/her pigtailed head. "But it was fun! How are you doing with your female forms, anyway son? I haven't seen Pepper around lately."
"She's PMSing," Pepito said sarcastically with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Maybe you should address him." he pointed at Nny. "He's why I want to talk to you."
"Oh, good! My son has finally collected, and a fine intelligent specimen at that, if I recall correctly. Issues with insomnia and rage, but that should be worked out soon. Have you decided to sell your soul? We could always use more hands... What's your price?"
Nny was lost for words, and his mouth was agape.
"Maybe a form more appealing to you?" Mr. D asked. Poof! The cheerleader combusted, then was replaced by a man that looked like Dudley Moore."No, no, that's not it." he said in a British accent. Dudley combusted and was replaced by Liz Hurley. "No, no, I simply can't do remakes! I don't care how few people are cultured enough to know the original." he said with a wrinkled nose in a female British voice. Liz went poof, and finally, Senior Diablo, in his normal, ram horn headed form, lounged behind the desk. "That's better," he crooned in his smooth baritone. "So. The price for your soul? You name it."
"Father, he's not here for that." Pepito said flatly.
"Damn," the Devil sighed. "I did the whole Bedazzled bit for nothing."
"Enough!" Todd barked, fed up with the idiocy. Then he resumed his natural timid little voice. "Nny is your son, mister Diablo, sir, is that right?"
Diablo's eyes widened. "How can that be?"
"Well, look at him. You yourself said that he strongly resembled the man who knocked up Satanya, then you turned around and passed the kid onto his wife? how long ago? Couple decades?"
"But, but, Lillith lost that child..." He was awestruck
"No. Lillith found out about the baby, and Simon tried to force her into an abortion. She fought it. He got her into heavy drugs, and left the seven year old alone in that house, because she was spun out of her head. Your old co-workers-" he pointed upwards for emphasis, "snuck it into His Plan to give Nny their. Marked the house, even. 777. "
"Where have you learned this?" he directed this to Pepito.
"Mom's been making me talk to Them again, despite your objections. Your old buddy Jibreel let it slip that the baby was taken under his merciful side. He raised him. Funny thing is, it seems to be Gabriel's vengeful side that's had the strongest influence. Then, when Lillith and Simon finally had a kid of their own, Todd here, the angels directed them to move into the house next door in the hopes that Nny could protect Todd."
Nny flinched in guilt at those words. Protect Todd. He'd failed. Pepito noticed. "No guilt, brother. You did play your part. Todd also needed to suffer a bit, or so the angels told me."
"The hell he did!" Gaz barked. "No one NEEDS to suffer; if it happens it happens, but it doesn't NEED to!"
"Gaz, are you really gonna question the divine?" Dib asked, timidly. He loved his sister, and was admittedly more than a bit scared of her, but right now he didn't have his usual faith in the infallible bitch that she was. He crossed his arms across the smiley face on the chest of his t-shirt. "I know, it's you, Gaz, the raging, strong willed harpy Gaz." He fixed his glasses with his knuckle. "But this is God. He created this place."
Silence fell on the room, broken only by Pepito laughing. "My money's on Gaz. Sure, God created this place, but that was back in his prime. Seen that guy lately? He can barely lift his arms."
"Pepito!" Diablo scolded after repressing a small chuckle of amusement. "Respect my boss, would you?"
"Isn't god immortal?" Dib asked.
"Ha," Pepito laughed. "Well, I don't see how much more aging he can do before he just... gives out."
"The truth is," Diablo said, in a tone that slipped a warning to Pepito on the sidelines. "The Almighty is about to retire. He needs a successor, and his other employees are all powerful, but they lack the reasoning skills and almost all of them are prejudiced in one way or other. They hang around humans, and buy their good-evil-sin-virtue bullshit, a big weakness for this job. Management would destroy em. Or they'd destroy it. He chose me, because I've done so well downstairs. Now, I need a successor as well. Someone has to purify and prepare the souls. God has requested, in His wisdom, that I be replaced by my first surviving child."
Pepito crossed his arms and looked at his feet in remorse. "For all these years, we thought it would be me. All my life, all the language and religion lessons, and the practicing of psychic powers. And now, it looks like its you, brother."
The words put needles in Nny's cochlear nerves once they sunk in. He felt nauseous. "I have to..." he trailed off, rose shakily from his seat and ran out of the office, up the stairs, through the house and out the door. The air was clear as he ran from the house, and the cold settled his stomach. After a block or so, he slowed to a walk. And he heard little steps after him.
"Squee." Nny addressed him impassively. He didn't want to see his neighbor... or his brother, as it turned out; aside from the whole being the devil thing, he was still riddled with guilt for taking off and leaving the boy under the jurisdiction of those slime balls
"I can sort of see a resemblance," Todd said casually. "You and my- er, our mom. Minus the glazed-over expression of wastedness, and a different jawline. I look more like my dad. Truth be told, though, Pepito kind of looks like you too. Can't say much for S'tan. I don't even know what he looks like in his original form."
"I'd rather be alone right now, Squee." Nny said calmly. "I'd give anything to have been there for you before, to have put that asshole dad of yours in his place years ago. But That's impossible. And since you no longer need me, now that you're safe, I'd rather be alone until you need me again. I'll be easily reachable, but don't reach unless you really need me."
Todd sighed. "Alright, Nny. If you want to go home, at least let me go with you. I don't like Pepito's house. Dunno why. It gives me the creeps. Something about it having a direct entrance into hell is upsetting."
Nny chuckled. "Yet, you want to come to my house?"
"I'm sure it's not as bad as I used to think," Todd lied. "You certainly aren't."
"Aren't I?" Nny asked wryly. "You must have absolutely hated me."
"I was scared of you, I admit." Todd shrugged.
"Scared of me?" Nny repeated. "Squee, don't you remember what I taught you? With that pedophile I shredded at the mall? People like him... Like me... We're just dysfunctional. We're not worth devoting any fear to."
"Was." Todd repeated. "I was scared of you. The lesson took awhile to sink in. I used to fear my dad, too; now I just... pity him." It hurt Nny more that Todd was able to rise above his father's abuses, though it didn't seem like it should hurt him.
"I pity him too," Nny agreed. "I still want to be alone. I have to do some cleaning. Gotta dust, you know. Kill all the rats and squatters."
Todd nodded. "All right, Nny."
No answer. Nny was gone.