Vampire Transfer

NOTE: Please laugh this off with a big heart. This was born from a caffeinated discussion between me and a friend goofing off at 2:00 AM. No offense is intended- it's just meant to be a joke.

I don't own Rosario-Vampire or Twilight, but I wish I did since then I'd be rich. :D

Warnings: OOCness, total crack, general WTF-ery. If you like normal stories, please, go find something else to read. Also, there will be some violence later.

Chapter One

"I still don't know why you have to go to a different school," Bella complained.

"Bella, my love, it's only for a little while. Carlisle thinks that it would be a good idea for me to interact with..." here Edward trailed off and sucked in a deep breath. "Other monsters."

"But you're not a monster," Bella replied, hugging the vampire from behind. "You shouldn't have to go if you don't want to. I know I don't want to be away from you."

"Do you think I want to leave you?" Edward shot back, trying desperately to worm his way from Bella's grasp. He didn't want to feel the love he felt for her right now, since then his time attending Yokai High School would be nearly unbearable. What was Carlisle thinking, making him spend time away from the girl he loved? He was going to march downstairs and tell his father exactly what he thought of this little plan, but a knock on the door broke his plan in half.

"Am I interrupting something?" Alice asked, stepping into the room, dragging a big suitcase behind her.

"No, no," Bella and Edward said in unison, jumping apart. Alice narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but said nothing and tossed the suitcase on Edward's couch/bed/storage area.

"Well, you'd better pack. Carlisle says that the bus taking you to the new school is waiting."

"About that," Edward said quickly. Alice just laughed at him.

"Oh, you're going," she said. "I've seen it. Emmett!" When she called his name, the burly vampire came charging up the stairs.

"Yo," he said.

"Emmett, can you make sure that Edward gets on the bus?" Alice asked sweetly. Emmett nodded.

"No problem," he replied before glaring at Edward. "Come on, get your stuff together. I can't let you miss the bus. Carlisle will be angry. Besides, Yokai High was kind enough to set up a dormitory for you. Your roommate Tsukune seems nice. See, he even sent you a letter!" He brandished a black envelope. "Now, I don't want to hear any of this complaining. You can write to Bella, and she'll be perfectly safe here with us." Grumbling the whole way, Edward gathered his belongings and headed out.

"Goodbye, Bella!" he cried before he boarded, blowing a kiss to the girl who had come to the porch to see him off.

Ms. Nekonome was in a right tizzy. "Class, today we're getting a new transfer student, who has been living in the human world his entire life. He's coming here to learn how to live among monsters, and I expect that all of you will learn how to live among humans from him."

"So, it's a him, is it?" Kurumu mumbled, more to herself than anyone else. "Hmm... someone needs to do my homework. Maybe I'll force him!"

"Now Kurumu," Moka said warningly. "We should try to welcome our guest, not force him to do anything he doesn't want to do."

"Isn't he staying with you, Tsukune?" Mizore asked, popping up from under the desk. Tsukune jumped backwards.

"DON'T DO THAT!" he shouted. "Seriously, Mizore, are you trying to give me a heart attack? But yes, he will be living with me. Ms. Nekonome seemed to think that it was for the best. You know, since we both grew up in the human world."

"That's a good idea," Yukari said. "But aren't they worried that the two of you will touch inappropriately?"

"EXCUSE ME?" Tsukune, Moka, and Kurumu asked in unison, looking in wonder at the young witch. Did she just insinuate what they thought she just insinuated? Mizore shushed Yukari and turned apologetically to the others.

"Sorry. Hata-san left her magazine in the bathroom and Yukari picked it up," she explained, referencing a classmate with an irrational fondness for human boys... paired with other human boys. Moka winced, and Kurumu smirked. Both had contact with Hata-san's preferred reading material, and while it slightly disturbed Moka, Kurumu quite liked it.

"No, Yukari, that's not going to happen," Tsukune said firmly, feeling embarrassed and rather disgusted. "That's not going to happen at all. Don't worry, I sent our guest a letter detailing what to expect here at Yokai High."

Indeed, as he rode the bus to his new school, Edward Cullen was reading Tsukune's letter. He was struck by how knowledgeable the boy seemed about the monster world, considering that he had only arrived in said monster world recently.

Dear Transfer Student Edward, it read. I am Tsukune Aono, and I will be your roommate at your time at Yokai High. There are a few things you need to know about the school. First, you must not reveal what kind of monster you are. Not to worry, they will have food acceptable for everyone here. I particularly like the cafeteria's pecan pie, though. However, some of the students cannot eat human food, so there are options for them. The dormitories can be a bit of a shock for students like us who were accustomed to life in the human world. They are dark, and dank, but they do have a certain charm once you get used to them. Classes are just like classes at a school in the human world- you're expected to go to them, and you get grades and have tests. If you do not show up for class, you can get detention, and every Thursday you're expected to change your sheets and wash them. Monday is the day that our building is allowed to use the main washing machines to clean our clothes. When you arrive at the school, you will recieve the key to the room.

I am looking forward to meeting you.

Respectfully,

T. Aono

Edward folded the paper in half and stuck it in his backpack. Just what had Carlisle gotten him in to?

To Be Continued

Author's Comments:

I stated in the comments at the beginning that this started as a joke. I was having a conversation with my friend around 2:00 AM, and both of us were completely hopped up on ridiculous amounts of coffee. He suggested, "What would happen if Moka Akashiya and Edward Cullen got into a battle?" And that was all she wrote- my head was off in crazy crack fic land since then.

I am not enamored of Twilight like some people are. I read the books, and found them OK, but I was not addicted like some people have become. I do, however, really like Rosario-Vampire, and somehow, the two seem destined to be crossover-ed, but no one else has done this so far, so I get to be the first. Yay!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing this. It was fun. :P

However, the next chapter might be a little while since I'm still in the middle of exams. I apologize for any inconvenience but there's really not much I can do about that... :(

-Kaboom