Whispers
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Enjoy!
The hallways of Hogwarts were eerily quiet, hushed whispers traveling in waves through the crowds moving through the corridors.
The sea of students rippled and parted as one single student rushed against the grain, red hair flicking from side to side, green eyes averted from the curious, amused, and baffled stares she was receiving. Conversations flared as she darted by, and as she caught lingering words from hushed gossiping, that was when she knew for certain.
"Bloody fucking shit," Lily Evans swore uncharacteristically under her breath, lengthening her stride and quickening her pace. Her face was flushed from exertion—at least that's what she tried to convince herself, because she was most certainly not ashamed.
Time flew as the seventh-year raced up the moving staircases and darted through every useful shortcut she knew. She scrambled through the portrait hole and burst into the common room, hopelessly praying that she wasn't too late.
Five heads circled around a table by the fire swiveled to look in her direction, their schoolwork irresponsibly forgotten in favor of a game of Exploding Snap.
"All right, Lily?" James Potter questioned from behind his glasses and under a mop of adorably messy black hair. His brow was furrowed with worry as she struggled to compose herself. Lily swallowed.
"Yeah, brilliant. I just need to—" Run away from this bloody castle and never look back? "—have a word with Alice and Marlene for a moment," she said hastily, her pulse racing. James nodded and turned back to Sirius and Remus, shrugging.
Alice and Marlene stood, and Lily noticed their looks of confusion—or rather, Alice's look of confusion and Marlene's look of pure intrigue. Lily sighed with relief. How was it that Marlene McKinnon, the Queen of Gossip and Scandal Detection, had been safely and—dare she say—innocently tucked away in the Gryffindor common room while the entire school was talking about the latest appalling affair with reckless abandon?
Lily walked up to the 7th year girls' dormitory as calmly as she could with Alice and Marlene flanking so close to her in anticipation they nearly trod on her heels. They quickly reached the familiar room, rushed inside, and snapped the door firmly shut.
"What in the name of Merlin is going on?" Marlene was the first to speak. Alice looked at Lily curiously as the redhead turned and faced her two mates. She must have looked pretty disheveled to earn the looks they were shooting her.
Shit.
"You guys haven't…heard anything? About me? Or Benjy? Or…"—gulp—"James?" Lily asked quietly. Alice's look of concern deepened, but Marlene grinned as if Christmas had come early.
"No, but I reckon this is going to be brilliant," the latter said, flopping down on her bed and propping herself on her elbows in preparation. "Let's hear it, then."
Marlene's eagerness only made Lily more reluctant to share. How many times had she refuted Marlene's suggestions the past two years? She would never live this down—Marlene would make sure of that.
"Lil, what happened?" Alice asked kindly, her blue eyes analyzing Lily's face. Looking at Alice, the way her light brown hair framed her delicate features and how her eyes scanned Lily's features searchingly, Lily was comforted. So when Lily spoke, it was on Alice whom she focused.
"Benjy and I broke up," Lily exhaled as the words spilled out and was scared to find they relieved her.
"What?" Alice asked.
"Why?" Marlene demanded, her dark brown hair flying out behind her as she leapt from the bed, her chocolatey eyes blazing. Lily flinched almost imperceptibly. She knew Marlene would kick any guys' arse for her, but now she just felt guilty.
"Lily, you said this had something to do with James?" Alice said cautiously, gently. Always too perceptive for her own good, that one. Lily closed her eyes for a moment. How had they reached this point so quickly?
"Merlin, I knew it!" Marlene exclaimed. "You broke up with Benjy for James!" Lily cleared her throat.
"Erm, actually, Benjy broke up with me," Lily corrected hesitantly.
"Then what does this have to do with James?" Alice inquired patiently. Lily hesitated for a couple more moments. She was regretting this even more now that she had paused to think. She could just walk away now, snatch a broom, take a muggle alias and never have to worry about questioning best mates or stupid, stupid, blokes ever again.
Yes, another highly reasonable plan.
Marlene scrutinized her friend carefully; unlike Alice, she was getting impatient. Luckily, six years of friendship with the girl in front of her meant she knew Lily well.
"Lily Evans," Marlene smirked as if she held the key to all the answers. Lily's eyes darted over to meet Marlene's and her stomach dropped to her feet. She knew that look—it was one that knew too much. "You are going to tell us what's going on. And if you don't, we're going to go outside—and take James with us, for that matter—and find out what's going on ourselves," Marlene threatened seriously. Alice looked over at Marlene reprovingly but said nothing to reprimand her.
Lily remained silent, looking nervous. "Alright, Al, let's go," Marlene said, lightly catching Alice's arm and heading towards the door.
"No!" Lily said, lunging for the door. "I'll tell you, you bullying slag." Marlene cackled appreciatively.
"So?" Alice said.
"I…erm…I said James' name," Lily said. There was a moment of silence, and then—
"And I'm the slag?" Marlene howled with laughter.
"Not like that, you arse," Lily protested, then paused, considering. "Well, I supposed it was a bit like that. To be honest, I got his and James' names mixed up before. Like when Benjy and I were studying…in the library," Lily aimed pointedly at Marlene's complacent smirk. "I mean, I'm with the both of them so often, what with Benjy as my boyfriend...ex-boyfriend, I suppose...and James as Head Boy. But this time we...Benjy and I...we were…"
"You were…" Alice prompted.
"Snogging," Lily admitted, defeated.
"Lily Evans, Hogwarts Slag," Marlene offered, sweeping her hands out in front of her as if looking at a Prophet headline. Lily moved to smacked Marlene's arm as her best mate chuckled and expertly dodged the blow.
"Can we focus, please?" Lily pleaded. "I mean, it's not as if I even fancy James—"
The glare Alice shot her right then cut Lily off completely. Marlene groaned.
"What?" Lily demanded, her voice rising shrilly.
"Lily, honestly. I understand denying it last year when you two finally stopped jumping down each other's throats every other day and became somewhat well acquainted, but how can you be denying it now?" Alice wondered.
"Because there is nothing between me and James! We're—"
"Just mates," Marlene finished for her mockingly. "Except that you're not. I think you just proved that."
"You can't even say he's arrogant or a pompous git anymore, and you know it," Alice added when Lily opened her mouth. The redhead pouted silently for a few moments.
"You need to talk to James before some other student does," Marlene input.
"How do you know if other people know? How do you know that Benjy broke up with me publicly?"
"Well, did he?"
"Yes."
"You two were publicly snogging when you said James's name?"
"Marlene, that is so not the point. It wasn't—"
"Lily, go talk to James," Alice interrupted.
"I just got my heart broken!" Lily insisted. Marlene rolled her eyes.
"Really, I thought she was smarter than this," she said to Alice, sitting back down on the bed.
Alice ignored her. "Lily we are your best mates. We've been through everything together. You guys practically bought me a lifetime supply of Honeyduke's fudge when Frank graduated last year. We helped Marley figured out her dysfunctional relationship with Sirius Black, of all people..."
"Hey—!"
"...So now we need to help you. Do you fancy James or not? And for Merlin's sake, be honest."
Lily seemed to be fighting a silent battle. She didn't like James. She didn't.
But, did she?
She remembered feeling surprised when she had opened the Head Compartment on the train to find James standing on the other side. But despite pouting and being doubtful, she had relaxed after a few months and even felt relieved the Head Boy was James and not some Slytherin, which she probably would have preferred had it been fifth year.
James made her laugh. He made her feel happy and light. He had stepped up as Head Boy and made sure to help younger students and set a good example. Sure, he still played his immature pranks, but seeing him in the library studying wasn't too rare either. He was still Marauder James, but he was more tolerable and mature now. Even his nervous habit of running his hand through his hair was familiarly endearing. And, Merlin, the bloke was handsome.
Lily blinked, stunned, then groaned.
"I am such an idiot," she fell back onto Marlene's bed behind her, covering her face with her hands.
"Well, now that you've figured it out, I reckon you're a bit brighter," Marlene said cheerfully.
"Now you've got to tell James," Alice said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
"What? No, definitely not," Lily said, sitting up and looking at Alice incredulously.
"Lily, come on," Alice said, showing her first sign of frustration.
"No. He doesn't even fancy me back," Lily said adamantly.
"She is stupid," Marlene said quietly, as if to herself.
"Lily, James has fancied you for years!" Alice cried. "He asks you to Hogsmeade nearly every day!"
"Maybe before, but not anymore!" Lily protested, realizing for the first time the hurt she felt at the truth of these words. "He hasn't asked me once this year." She sounded almost defeated now.
"Noticed, have you?" Marlene shot back. "That's exactly what he wanted. He knew that you would never say yes if he kept asking, as contrary as that sounds. It took forever to convince him to stay quiet. And then even more of an effort to keep him that way. The bloke doesn't think his best around you. He's still just as obsessed as he was in 5th year."
"How do you know all this?" Lily demanded.
"Please," Marlene scoffed, "James Potter has two mind sets: Quidditch, and Lily Evans. Those of us on the team have the pleasure of hearing endlessly about the latter once practice is over."
"No. No, this is all wrong," Lily said.
"No, Lil, it's completely right. Now let's go down to dinner and eat; I'm starving. You can talk to James on the way there."
"Marley, this is not some casual conversation. I don't even know what I would say."
"I think, 'I think about you while snogging other blokes' might do it," Marlene considered, earning a snort of laughter from Alice. Lily glared.
She flopped back down on the bed, if only to be uncooperative.
"Go down to dinner without me. I feel ill," Lily declared, somewhat melodramatically.
"Lily…" Alice started.
"Let her be stubborn. Besides, the whole school will know about this by now. Benjy's a decent bloke, but his best mate—that Porter bloke—gossips so much I question his gender. Besides, he never trusted Lily much, so he's probably shoving this in everyone's face," Marlene reminded them.
"Everyone already knows, I could tell," Lily said, her voice muffled into Marlene's pillow.
"Well, there you have it," Marlene confirmed, as if she were announcing the weather forecast as she walked to the door. "If she wants James to find out this way, it's her choice,"
"Don't tell him though," Lily added, moving her face away from the pillow to be heard clearly. "Maybe no one will," she said hopefully, almost to herself.
"Of course we won't," Alice assured her comfortingly as her and Marlene opened the door and made to leave.
"And by 'don't tell him', I mean don't tell Sirius either, Marlene McKinnon!" Lily shouted after them, only to be met by Marlene's laughter.
xXx
"Lily…Lily, wake up…Oh, for Merlin's sake. Oi! Lily, get the hell out of my bed!"
"Oof!" Lily hit the floor hard.
"Merlin, Marlene, don't injure her. I'm too tired to take anyone to the hospital wing."
"What time is it?" Lily growled, pushing herself off the ground and brushing her hair back with her fingers. She glared daggers at Marlene—looks which the brunette cheerfully ignored.
"Nearly eleven," Alice said nonchalantly, folding a stray sweater.
"Eleven!" Lily cried, scrambling up. "What have you been doing since dinner that you couldn't wake me up? It's past curfew!"
"Writing to Frank?" Alice suggested meekly.
"Quidditch practice?" Marlene offered airily, as if Lily was daft enough to believe that Quidditch practice lasted past curfew.
"Useless, the both of you," Lily muttered darkly, bunching her hair together and tying an elastic loosely around it in a messy bun.
"We could have not woken you at all," Alice warned.
"I'm starting wish we hadn't," Marlene yawned.
"Oh, shut it…Er, listen, can I bunk here tonight?" Lily asked casually.
"Oh, no you don't," Marlene said, snapping to attention. "We spent all of dinner practically stalking James's every move to make sure he didn't find out about why Benjy broke up with you. And he only found out about that because his prat best friend wouldn't keep his mouth shut."
Alice snorted, "Yes, Marlene quieted his 'prat best friend' quite effectively."
"My point is," Marlene cut in, blushing slightly, "we didn't do all of that only for him to find out later because you're a bloody coward. Go back to your dorm. He's probably sleeping anyway."
"Yeah, you're right," Lily admitted, surprised with herself. Despite her nap, she was too tired to argue.
"Come again?"
"Nothing."
"No, really, what'd you say?"
"Goodnight Marley, Alice."
"Have fun, you slag."
xXx
Please don't be awake, please don't be awake, please don't be awake, Lily thought as she walked through the Head Dorm doorway and stepped into the common room. She glanced around. Yes! All clear. She slowly made her way to the door that led to her room.
"Lily?"
Buggering shit. Lily froze. Slowly, she pivoted. James was lying across the couch in front of the fire, his head initially blocked from view by the back of the couch.
"Oh, hello James. I'm just headed off to bed. G'night!" Lily turned quickly to make for her room again.
"Wait."
The redhead closed her eyes and turned back to James silently.
"I heard about Fenwick," he said by means of explanation.
"Yes, well, he was a nice bloke, but all's well that end's well, right?" Lily almost winced at her voice, which was now an octave higher.
"Did it, then? End well, I mean," James asked, getting up from the couch. His white oxford was rumpled, his red and gold tie hanging loosely around his collar.
Still dressed.
Quidditch practice my arse, Marlene McKinnon, Lily thought, wondering what her mate had really been up to since dinner. James's hair was even more mussed from lying down and his glasses were slightly askew. Lily could barely tear here eyes away from him.
"Of course it did. Why wouldn't it have?" Lily asked skeptically. James shrugged, but there was a familiar mischievous glint in his eye that Lily didn't trust as he walked around the couch to face her.
"You thought he was a pretty fetching bloke, right? I mean, nothing compared to me, of course, but adequate nonetheless," James offered innocently, his mouth quirking into an adorable half-smile that was entirely good-natured. Lily grinned.
"Yeah, he was alright," she joked. There was a beat of silence.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked sincerely.
Nah, let's snog instead.
"Nothing to say, really. Pretty boring incident. Mundane, actually."
James quirked an eyebrow and Lily told herself to just shut up. "Well, why'd you break it off?" James wondered. Lily's heart started to beat faster. Dangerous territory, time to leave.
"Just thought it was time to go our separate ways, I reckon," Lily lied, shrugging and turning to leave.
"Not exactly what I heard," James said openly.
Lily's breath caught. "Really?" Lily scoffed in a way she hoped was convincing. If her squeaking voice was any indication, she supposed it wasn't. Convincing, that is. "Rumors these days are horrible."
"I'd say my source was pretty reliable..." countered James with a confidence that made Lily squirm.
"And who might that be?" Lily questioned challengingly. Her hands started to itch uncomfortably.
"A Marauder never reveals his secrets," James whispered conspiratorially, grinning at her. Automatically, something told Lily to smile right back.
"Well, tell your source he should come to me if he wants the truth," Lily said airily. "Goodnight, James." She tried to escape for the third time when, for the third time, James' voice rang out clearly, halting her progress.
"That's odd, I thought you always told Marlene the truth about everything."
Lily's heart stopped. Time came to a standstill.
And in that moment, she knew that Azkaban was worth what Marlene was going to get for this. Sirius wasn't the only one Marlene needed to shut up, Lily thought venomously.
"What?" Lily asked, her blazing eyes meeting James' hazel ones in a flash of disbelief.
"So you did say my name then?" James confirmed with her reaction, only a hint of a smile playing across his lips. Lily groaned and closed her eyes, placing her hands over her face.
In a flurry of motion, two strong, warm hands reached out and lightly snatched hers, pulling them down. The consequent tingles made her eyes snap open.
"Hey, I'm not all that bad," James said quietly. Lily smirked in spite of herself, still not meeting his eyes.
"No, James, it's just…this isn't right."
"Of course it isn't," James said. Lily's eyes darted up to his, which were looming a few inches above her. The sincerity she found in them was smothering.
"What?"
"Of course it isn't right," James reiterated, stepping closer and never releasing her hands. "We're graduating in five months. We won't be safe outside of Hogwarts. We won't know who to trust or what to do or where to turn. Nothing is right, and everyone's at risk."
Lily's throat clogged as he voiced her deepest fears, and she looked at him helplessly. He continued.
"But when I look at you, Lil, all I know is safety and trust and happiness. And I know it's better to face these things together rather than alone, right? If we rearrange our lives and plans and happiness because of what the future might hold, then we've lost more than anyone could ever take from us." She melted into his eyes, into the truth and genuineness they held. "Let's give the future a chance, yeah?" James finished in a whisper, one hand floating up to cup her face delicately, as if she was worth everything.
"Yeah," Lily said breathlessly. And as the word spilled off her lips, she thought that maybe, just maybe, doing something that felt so wrong could somehow also feel completely right.
James chuckled, his soft laughter so promising and full of life as he leaned in closer, their breath mingling.
"Knew you'd come around."
He said it as if he had known all along that she would. As if, of course she'd come around. Of course.
xXx
The Great Hall was eerily quiet, hushed whispers moving in waves through the crowds of students moving through the aisles. Minutes later, once the main rush had settled, Lily and James walked through the doors, and eventually everyone fell into a shocked silence. Lily blushed, and James quickly transferred the hand holding hers to slide around her waist, leaning close and whispering something in her ear. She laughed, the tinkling sound carrying joy and smiles throughout the entire room.
Slowly, after Lily and James had taken their seats, students started talking boisterously again. In a few spots money exchanged hands. And suddenly laughter broke out when a certain headmaster handed a few coins to an extremely satisfied Transfiguration teacher.
Moments later, a leggy, gorgeous brunette walked through the doors alongside Alice and an extremely attractive boy with shaggy black hair and a wolfish grin. Sirius winked at James, who, upon seeing his friends, quickly tried to pacify Lily by pressing a kiss to her temple.
Lily, however, was not appeased.
"Marlene McKinnon, I'm going to murder you!" the redhead nearly shouted, springing up from her seat and heading quickly for her friend as Marlene cowered behind Sirius, a satisfied smirk plastered on the brunette's facae the entire time.
"Now really, Head Girl, what message would that send the children?" Marlene asked tauntingly from behind Sirius' shoulder.
Lily growled but abated as Sirius put a hand on her arm, keeping the barrier between the two friends. "Never to cross their best mates."
Marlene grinned unashamedly, earning a smirk from Alice.
"Well, what's the problem, now that you and Prongs are together?" Sirius asked as the four of them retreated to the place where Lily and James were sitting and took their seats, the redhead still keeping an eye on her best mate, who pretended to be entirely ignorant.
"It's a problem if I say it is, Black," Lily half-sneered, poorly trying to maintain a countenance lined with anger.
Sirius laughed loudly. "That one's a piece of work, Prongs."
James slipped an arm around Lily's waist and she unconsciously leaned into his side as he grinned and squashed his nose into her cheek. She laughed and swatted him away.
"Yeah, but she's mine."
A/N: What'd you think? I know it was pretty cliché, which I detest. Did Lily react/absorb her revelations too quickly for it to be believable? Any feedback and/or criticism is appreciated. I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading!
- TLGN