Title: Only What She Wants to See
Characters: Izzie/Meredith
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #30, Denial
Word Count: I got 843
Spoilers: Set sometime in an alternate season two
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Summary: Izzie just wanted her to shut up.
A/N: Written for the "Denial" prompt on the psych30 fanfic challenge on live journal. This is my first attempt at Grey's Anatomy fanfiction. Please comment and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Derek left. He moved back to New York with Addison. When Addison first came to Seattle, you didn't think it was possible that they would ever get their marriage to work again. Because Derek was still in love with Meredith. Even when he was with his wife, you caught him looking longingly at Meredith when he thought no one would notice. But then Meredith supposedly got over him and moved on to Finn. So Derek got over her and moved back to Addison, and they decided to get back to their old life in New York. Or maybe Addison was worried that Derek would go back to Meredith. All you know is that he left. Left the hospital, left Seattle, and left Meredith. Who, it now seems, is not quite as 'over him' as she first thought.
But the worse part is that Meredith won't accept it. She still thinks that Derek will come back for her. That he still loves her. But you know that he doesn't, and that he won't be back for her. Not tomorrow, not next week, not ever. Because he loves Addison. You're pretty sure that a part of him always loved Addison, but he just couldn't see it when he was around Meredith. Now, he wasn't just trying to 'make it work' with his wife. It actually did work. Very well, you think. You had noticed that after a while, he and Addison would come in to work together, talking and laughing, and that they would both disappear sometimes between surgeries. You noticed that they were happy. And that Derek had stopped giving Meredith those longing looks. Other people started to notice too, and gossip quickly spread through the hospital. Everyone knew that Derek and Addison were back together. Everyone, except Meredith. Meredith, of course, didn't notice a thing. She thought that it was still torturing Derek that she was going out with Finn. Meredith only sees what she wants to see.
And now, she's choosing not to see what's right in front of her. Or rather, she's choosing to see what isn't in front of her.
"He's coming back," Meredith says, not really talking to anyone but herself. You would be fine with this, except that she's talking to herself in your room, while you were trying to get some sleep. She's lying next to you on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You don't know why she's suddenly in your room, but you're theory is that George finally got tired of listening to her talk about Derek and kicked her out of his room. But in a polite way, because he's George. But you're not George and you might not be so polite if she keeps talking. Because you're tired, and Meredith's thing about Derek has become pretty annoying over the past few weeks.
"Fine, he's coming back," you murmur into your pillow. Maybe she'll be quiet if she thinks that you agree. You roll over so that you're facing her, and you lay your head on her shoulder. Partly because it's comfortable, but mostly because she's blocking the other pillow. Meredith doesn't seem to care though, and she doesn't stop talking.
"He doesn't love her. He won't be happy. And he'll come back." You groan and tell her to shut up. But she keeps on talking anyway. You don't really hear much of what she's saying because you're tired and not really thinking, but you do hear her and because of that you can't get to sleep.
And suddenly your lips are on hers, and you realize that you really aren't thinking. Because you're kissing her, and you don't know why- you don't even have a reason. Except that you want her to stop talking. But if you were thinking, even just a little bit, you would have thought of a better solution. You pull away, just a little bit, so your face is still right next to hers.
"Just shut up," you whisper. And Meredith doesn't have anything to say to that. She just stares at you with wide eyes and her mouth is open just a little bit and you can still taste her on your lips. Now you think that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Because now she's speechless, and that means that you might be able to get some sleep. You start to pull away, but just as you do, Meredith moves in and closes the space between your mouths. And as your fingers start to move through her hair, you realize that you probably won't get much sleep tonight after all.
She's not in your bed when you wake up in the morning. It doesn't really surprise you. She's drinking coffee when you come into the kitchen, and she doesn't look at you but greets you with a casual "good morning." You say it back and then just stand there, waiting for something to happen. Nothing does. So you go to the hospital and save some lives and listen to Cristina talk about her awesome surgery and Meredith's talking to you like she always does.
In a way, you knew that she would pretend like it didn't happen. To her, Derek still loves her and is going to come back and she never slept with Izzie. Meredith only sees what she wants to see.