desclaimer: i own nothing but the thoughts. sigh
Who is MinE?
Why? This is what I ask why?!?
So many whys'.
I wanna ask so many whys.
Like:
Why nobody can see how shattered I am. I am deeply hurt, each time I think of her my heart aches, and it feels like somebody is confiscating my lungs. I can not breathe…… yeah this is what I feel whenever I see her with Kureno. It hurts. It hurts…. My Goddess has been lost.
Why did she opt to go with him instead of me?!? Am I not the most faithful one? Am I not?!?
Why?
My goddess ignored me. Every time she sees me, she moves closer to that stupid bird. And you know what? It always feels like some steel rod has been put through my heart.
Why? Why did it happen to me?
Why she doesn't look at me the way she used to?
Why she doesn't acknowledge my presence anymore?
Why why why?
But most important of all
Why am I so lonely? Is this because of the fact that I am a dog? I am supposed to be always goofy? Or is this because I don't really have friends?
Maybe I am somebody to be used, whenever my friends, so called friends, were in pain, I gave them all the strength I had in myself. They leant on me, they cried. But now they are blind. They can't see my pain. No body rushes forward to support me. I think I am falling. I am losing it all.
Why Tohru, my beautiful flower, sees pain of all, but not me. I want some support. But maybe my mask is so strong, that nobody can really see through it, nobody can really see the real me. But still…..
WHY LORD WHY? WHY I AM STILL ALIVE?!?
I am tired, I need some rest. I don't know why these stupid tears are not stopping, and I don't want any body to see me crying. This knife looks very appealing. I want some physical pain to stop this mental torture. But why should I torture myself physically??? I should end this altogether.
And with this, the blade of the knife pierced my left wrist.