Is this the real life or is this just fantasy?

Stuck in a landslide no escape from reality.

Stop for a minute. Look up to the skies.

And see.

-Bohemian Rhapsody

Time. A funny thing isn't it? It swirls in a palette of colors, creating brilliant shades of red, striking hues of green, and evolving tones of blue. But what is time if not repeated? What is birth if not death? Some say that history repeats itself, I say that it never stops. I saw it in their eyes, a glimpse of fear, then confusion, then realization. The time when they finally found it all out. It was the raven-haired man who cracked it. And I understand that. Everything just seemed too real to the others. Hate. Love. Family. Friends. The world. Their whole stories, no matter how cruel and unbelievable became works of truth to their ears. If only they knew, but that's just the thing. They never knew. They never were supposed to know. And I was never supposed to write this. But since they do dare to find the truth, so do I.

I found them through the laughter of the wind and the dancing of the dust one Summer's day. There they were. Happy yet confused, for the feeling of confusion never ceased to leave them anymore. The raven-haired scratched his nose, then held up his hand, staring wonderingly at it, why he felt strange, he did not know.

"It's... Good to see you all again." And just like that, I was in the conversation.

"It's been forever, Kurapika." The blonde shifted his weight from foot to foot, not meeting the speaker's eyes.

After moments of silence, the man, Leorio, stretched out his hand. Slowly, tentatively, Kurapika took it. A shake was exchanged and a glance between the remaining two in the group. And just like that everything was fine, everything was okay.

"You can explain it to us later." Killua said, adopting a comfortable position in his stance.

"Well, what should we do first?"

"I know!" Gon's eyes sparkled as the words left his mouth. "Leorio, Kurapika, I think it's time that I introduced the both of you to Ging."

The two exchanged nervous glances, causing Killua to let out a small snicker. "Don't worry, the guy's not a COMPLETE nut job."

I think things were said after that but in that instant, like the cloud that passed, I was gone. It found out that I was missing and sucked me back. Sucked me back into the nothingness that I called my home.

My home has no time, my home is nowhere. It is described as simply, nothing. And me, what am I? I am simply one with my home now, I am blended with the nothing. But I cannot simply disappear because I have something that nothing can never have. History. I have memories stored away inside my brain, held under my own lock and key. Memories that I don't want to ever and will never be able to open again.

The key is lost, I made sure of that.

I thought as nothing did not think. Why had I gone astray? Why had I been allowed to enter that world? One full of light and colors, smiles and laughter, full of somethings. Why had they permitted me, a species of my own, out of my cage and into that world?

The pain emerged at that point as I realized the truth. I was drifting, yearning secretly to once more be apart of something. That place, that something, it was calling to me, beckoning me, tearing at the depths of my soul.

'It's not the nothing that is holding on to me,' I realized, 'It's me that's holding on to the nothingness.' And just like that I drifted. My grip on my world loosened and the world of color called me in.

When I finally opened my eyes, I had honestly expected rainbows. Swirls of color just like I'd imagined. Streaks of light, bouncing off every surface and ricocheting off the world in ways unknown to even me. But all I saw was black, pitch blackness that my eyes had somehow adjusted to.

Where was I? I shivered but not because it was cold, and not because I was frightened. I shivered because everything just felt... Weird. It was like I was feeling nothing and yet more than I'd ever felt in ages. I will not explain because you would not understand. And you would not understand because you are not me.

I struggled to find myself, to find where I was, to find, in fact, who I was. I groped around the empty space for the essence that I was so very close to. The essence that I could almost feel in every one of my pores.

"Where are you..." I murmured, getting to my knees and scouring the entire area.

"Where ARE you?" Panic started building up in my chest as my fingers repeatedly hit nothing. Had there been a mistake? Had I done something wrong? I felt cold tears streak down my face as I realized that it was hopeless. I had lived too long in the nothingness. And now, I shall live forever in this darkness.

I hit something.

I couldn't tell if it was cold or hot, soft or hard, blunt or sharpened. But it was something and that was enough. I clutched it in a tight embrace and refused to let it go even as searing pain filled my whole being. I had found it and there was no way in hell that I was going to lose it again. The pain peaked to an unbearable level and I screamed. The sound echoed around me and rattled my eardrums but I never stopped. I could feel now. I felt fire on my skin, licking every piece of me. I felt the cold turning me to ice. I felt serenity, calling for me, welcoming me. And anger, drenching me with an unknown resolve. I felt everything, and I wished in that short moment that death would finally come and take me.

Then I woke up.

I sat up quickly in my bed, my heart rising and falling as my awakening struck me. I was finally something again, I was finally alive again. I put my hands over my heart and relished in the quick thumps that came from it. That was really there. I had a blood-pumping, real heart, just like any other human.

"Bad dream?" I jumped at the voice. Strange, I hadn't known that someone was here.

"Yeah." I said, because I really didn't know what else I could say. I stared at the darkness for a few moments then let out a small shriek when I felt a hand on my head. The hand hesitated for a while then settled into the person's lap with a small thump. This darkness was really starting to annoy me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The voice said. From what I could tell, it was a boy. And that boy was not old. Also that boy was now right beside me. Strange. I could've sworn that his voice came from across the room.

"Uhmm... Yeah, it's okay." I pushed myself to the left, feeling uncomfortable with the close distance.

Silence filled the air and I hoped for a moment that the boy was gone. A fact about myself? I am not a lucky person.

"Are you okay?" The bed shifted and I felt the hand once more being stretched out towards me. I let out another squeak and scrambled further to the left to get away from it.

BOOM. That sound? Well, that was me falling off the bed. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. The lights flickered on and I snapped my eyes shut, realizing then that I actually liked the darkness much better than the light.

"What happened?" Another voice asked while strong hands helped me up.

"Alluka fell off the bed." The hand-owner replied. I opened my eyes then and stared at the two people talking about me, the new me. The one holding me up was a bit taller than me, he looked about 13 years old. He had ebony black hair and warm, brown eyes. I looked down at his clothes and started laughing, I just couldn't help it. I mean the guy was wearing pajamas that had unicorns and lipstick emblems on it. Did he not have an ounce of manhood at all?

Both boys stared at me, probably thinking I had gone nuts. I rolled my eyes, people these days. Just because somebody rolled off their bed then started laughing hysterically, it did not mean that they were crazy.

I stared at the other boy, this was the one sitting on the bed, the creepy hand-owner. He had cotton white hair and also seemed to be 13. His skin was pale in a way that almost matched his hair, and his structure was, well, feline. What struck me though were his eyes. They were a brilliant shade of blue and seemed to stick out like a sapphire in a sack of coal. It took me a moment to realize that those eyes looked extremely wide and a teeny tiny bit frightened.

"Nanika?" The boy asked and I tilted my head a bit to the side. What was this guy's deal? First I was Alluka and now I was Nanika? Was he calling me by first name, last name or something. Yuck, no. What a disgusting thought. What kind of name was Alluka Nanika? It sounded like some Hawaiian chant. I could totally imagine guys in hula skirts chanting that around a bonfire while they threw colorful luaus on a totem pole.

I dragged myself out of my thoughts and realized that the guy was still staring at me. Oh wait, did he expect me to reply to him?

I nodded my head as a response. Lipstick Boy let go of me then appeared next to Hand-Owner. I blinked a couple of times. My mind must've been playing tricks on me because there was no way that he could've moved that fast. They stared at me for a while then Hand-Owner stood up, walking towards me.

"Nanika, why are you here?" I felt hurt flit through me then confusion. Why would I be hurt by that? I didn't even know this guy. Heck, I didn't even know who I was.

"Am I not wanted?" I asked, because it seemed like a non-too-strange answer. Also 'Because I'm not there' didn't seem to fit the mood.

"Of course you are! I just wanted to know." The Hand-Owner said quickly, taking a step towards me. Shoot. He had been moving closer to me this whole time.

I took a step backwards and glared at him. "Why wouldn't I be here?" I asked, hoping that he would finally give me some answers. This whole thing was really starting to confuse me.

"You seem different." Lipstick Boy said, giving me an analytical look. So this boy knew me pretty well. Knows me pretty well, I mean, I think. But technically not me, he knows HER pretty well. But then what am I? I inwardly groaned, everything about today was just confusing. So he knows US pretty well. It sounds kind of creepy, yes, but unfortunately, it's accurate. I stared at him some more, debating whether I should take the leap or not. He needed some form of proof that I was really who he thought I was.

From what I could tell about myself, I was a young girl with tan skin and long black hair. I had eyes, obviously. And no, I have no idea what color they were. I had complete body parts and I was wearing a plain white night gown. I seemed sweet, I mean I was a little innocent girl so I was probably sweet, and polite, and nice. And yuck, I'm already starting to hate myself. I seemed so goody-two-shoes. I bet that I was the person that everybody just seemed to like. Or hate. They could all hate me, her, us. I keep on forgetting to use us.

Wait, I went off topic. I realized that my silence was making the boys suspect me more. I took a deep breath then decided to take the risk. We DID look alike anyways, black hair, tan skin, uhmm... Black hair.

I looked straight into those wood brown eyes then smiled, or tried to. I really hoped that I looked like a sweet innocent angel and not like a deranged, smiling psychopath. He cringed. Okay, maybe I should drop the smile.

"I'm absolutely fine. Sorry... Brother, I did have a bad dream. Then I rolled off the bed. I guess I'm a bit of a klutz today!" I hit my head lightly then let out a small laugh. I guess that must have looked kind of strange, considering I was just staring at him the whole, entire time.

He opened his mouth a bit then stared at me like I was some Zebra-headed freak. Then he turned his head and just stared at the Hand-Owner.

"Did you just call me Brother?" Hand-Owner asked, catching my gaze. I seriously wanted to roll my eyes at him. Attention seeker much, I wasn't even looking at you when I said that. But no, I was the nice innocent, kind, sickeningly sweet girl.

I shrugged my shoulders then gave him a hopefully angelic smile.

"Nanika, can I please speak to Alluka?" I smiled a real smile at that. He was asking permission to leave. Yes. Goodbye creepy Hand-Owner.

"Sure! Go ahead!" I said chirpily, walking over to the bed that I had fallen out of. "I'll just be here, so you don't need to worry about me, I'm fine. Promise. Oh, and can you please turn off the lights on your way out." I climbed into the bed, relishing in it's embrace, I loved beds and blankets, they always made me feel safe.

"W-what?" Hand-Owner asked.

I did roll my eyes then. Was it really so hard to understand me? Yes, I was moody. But, hello, try spending forever in nothing then waking up in some strange person's body. I bet you wouldn't be feeling too nice either.

I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, embracing the dark. "When you go out, please turn off the lights."

"But I thought you were letting me talk to Alluka!"

"Then go talk to Alluka! It's not like I'm keeping Alluka from you or something!" Yes, I did not know if Alluka was a girl or a boy name. And I obviously couldn't call Alluka IT. I mean, I bet nobody ever called Alluka IT in Alluka's life. So it would be weird if I just started calling Alluka it. I get off track a lot.

"But you are!" I snapped my eyes open and glared at him. Why was he being so annoying? Did he expect me to escort him to Alluka or something.

"No I'm not! I bet you're just being a lazy pig."

"But, Nanika, you ARE keeping Alluka from me!"

I glared more into those sapphire blue eyes, forcing them to back down. Unfortunately they didn't. Wait. Maybe I was keeping Alluka from him somehow. Maybe this was a chance for me to get information.

"Am I keeping Alluka tied up in a cell somewhere?" I made sure to keep my tone angry. I am sure getting better at this whole getting information thing. Aside from the fact that I haven't actually been able to get any information.

"Uhmm... No?"

So I wasn't bad-ass enough to have prisoners. "Is Alluka a ghost?"

"No"

I wasn't a ghost whisperer then. Sad. "Is Alluka my pet?"

"What?! No!"

Shame. Alluka would actually be a nice guinea pig name. On the other hand, guinea pig's could have any name and not sound weird. Hersheys, Pepito, Chris Hemsworth, they could pull off anything.

"Do I have some magic power that keeps you from leaving this room?"

His lips formed the beginning of a ye-"No"

"Then how in the world am I keeping Alluka from you?!" I wanted to sleep. I wanted the dark. I was NOT in the mood to talk to strangers much less argue with them.

"You just are!"

I let out a dry laugh. "What? Now are you gonna tell me that Alluka's my magical alter ego and that only I have the power to call Alluka out?"

"Well, actually."

I made a huge show of making my eyes cartwheel. "Oh, yeah. How could I forget that! Alluka is obviously my magical alter ego!"

He smiled. I smiled. Then I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.

"Wait. Were you being sarcastic?"

"Of course not!" I said, obviously, sarcastically.

"But it's true! Nanika! What the heck is up with you!"

I forced my eyes open, again. "What's up with me is that I want to sleep and SOMEBODY just can't seem to stop bothering me!"

"You're being really weird." He muttered, I closed my eyes again.

"Good night Hand-Owner. Now be a good boy and close the lights." I heard shock (I didn't even know shock was hearable) then a giggle. A glare (wow, I must have super hearing or something). A light switch. Then finally the sound of a door banging shut.

"What in the world is wrong with her!" I furrowed my eyebrows, even from outside the room... The Sleep-Ruining Hand-Owner was just never going to stop. I shut out the world. Then finally let myself drift off to the world of dangerous escape. Sleep.

Φ Φ Φ

Hello! Considering that you've read to this part, I can guess that you have thoughts about this story. Well do you know the best thing to do right now before anything else? Yes, that's right! Review! Because reviews make everybody happy. Especially when they're right before a quiz. Heh. You know what I mean. Anyways, thanks for reading and hope you have a super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot-or-cold-day!

PS I do not own AVPM or Hunter X Hunter. Heck, with the really weird idea going on in my head I'm not even really sure if I completely own my OC.

PPS That poem at the start? It might have some deep meaning or it might not. I donno, I just put it there because I felt like it. But you never know, it might just find its way into the story.

PPPS :}

Does that look like a fat bird or a deranged skeleton to you?