Lana Loud didn't always have pet snakes.
There was a time before sheaths of shedded reptile skin lay discarded like dirty socks across the floor of her room when Lana had no true pets of her own. Sure, there was Cliff and Charles and Walt and Geo, and of course she loved them, but they belonged to the family as a whole. What Lana longed for more than anything was to care for another creature all on her own. To develop a bond with an animal that relied on her and looked to her as its mother just as she looked to it as her child. Her heart was an empty menagerie yearning for beasts to fill its chambers.
Not just with common creatures, like cats and dogs, but more exotic fare. Reptiles were a favorite of hers', especially snakes. True, she didn't know much about them other than that she found them endlessly fascinating, but what difference did that make when she had so much love to offer? What difference did that make when she knew in her heart that she would make such a wonderful mother to a serpent of her own?
There came a day when she resolved once and for all to have one.
Three knocks sounded at Lisa's door one summer morning, and before she gave permission for her to do so Lana swung wide the door and entered with a carefree spring in her step. Even back then Lisa's room was a place that constantly smelt of chemical fire, a by-product of the countless experiments Lisa had already conducted through her young life. The small genius sat at a desk that was cluttered with loose papers scribbled over with various scientific formulas and observations. The floor too was a mess of books and broken test tubes with multi-colored liquids leaking out and mixing into compounds no doubt toxic. These were days before Lily had entered into their lives, and Lisa had the whole space to herself to do with as she saw fit.
"Hi Lisa," Lana cheerfully greeted.
Lisa had been sitting at her desk, peeking through a microscope at organisms with cilia swimming through iodine between twin panels of glass. Without shifting her focus away from the device, she asked, "what do you want?" in a clipped voice.
Where others might have been insulted by such a question, delivered in such a dismissive tone, Lana had learned over time not to take her sister's abrasive personality personally. Besides, she was too excited by the day ahead to let Lisa's usual terseness dampen her spirits. "Leni's taking me to the park," she said, "and Lola's too busy working on her dumb pageant stuff to join us. Wanna come? It'll be fun!"
Lisa took her eyes from the microscope and stared at her sister, mulling over her options. She wasn't really one for "fun," as others conventionally understood it, and the idea of playground games didn't exactly do much to excite her. On the other hand, she had been cooped up inside the last few days and was starting to feel the effects of the doldrums. A change of scenery could be just what she needed to refresh her mind.
"I suppose this would be a good opportunity to conduct a little field research," she said, much to Lana's delight.
Pausing only to grab a notebook and pen from the mess on her desk, Lisa joined Lana and walked into the hallway, where Leni was already waiting for them.
The older girl bent down with her hands on her knees, flashing a smile that Lisa found patronizing but that Lana matched with a full grin of her own, this being before her two incisors fell out.
"Hey guys!" Leni said, "Ready to go have a fun day at the park?"
They walked the short distance between their home and the park, a vibrant area of freshly mown green fields perfect for playing tag and high trees perfect for climbing. They arrived to the sound of children running around a playground where no doubt later on Lana would beg Leni to push her on a swing or try to convince Lisa to help her build a castle in the sandbox. For now though she had something else in mind as she led her sisters along a dirt path.
East of the playground, near an area littered with picnic tables and public grills blackened over with char, was a gradual ridge that sloped down into a small creek, where spears of sunlight beamed through the leaves of the tall trees, illuminating the specks of pollen and dandelion seeds that floated through the air. It was a meagre excuse for a creek, more of a glorified trickle of water really, but to Lana it flowed with the strength of the Amazon and contained just as exotic wildlife. At the sight of it she ran excitedly down to its bank, peering down in the water in the hopes of finding some interesting insect or fish.
Lisa had similar ideas. She took the notepad and pen from her pocket and set about examining the moss that grew on the trees and stones, making little notes and diagrams on the paper, the occasional hum escaping her lips at the sight of some particularly fascinating specimen.
By the edge of the water Leni unfurled a blanket, brought so she wouldn't have to dirty her dress on the park ground, and sat down. Content to simply feel the warmth of the sun rays on her face and listen to the chirping of distant birds and the flow of the stream, she watched her younger sisters with a smile on her face, glad to see them clearly having such a good time. Or at least, Lana was clearly having a good time. Lisa was never really good at showing any outward signs of joy. She walked along with her face never shifting from it's studious expression. Still, Leni knew that Lisa was having her own sort of fun, and that was good enough for her. "Stay where I can see you guys!" she'd call now and again whenever they wandered too far, and they'd return to her line of sight without question.
Lana knelt by the water a few moments, mesmerized by the gerridae skipping their way across the surface of the stream, before getting bored and going off in search of more interesting creatures. She stood up and, with an eye toward the opposite bank, stepped onto one of the large rocks in the creek. She leapt then from stone to stone like she were playing hopscotch, picturing in her imagination that one tiny slip was all it would take for her to meet a watery death in rushing white river rapids. The reality was more likely a skinned elbow or bruised knee, which was apparently dangerous enough for Leni, as she called out "Lana, be careful!" And with that, Lana stopped midway across the stream.
Even without the warning she would've halted anyway after seeing what was laying at the bottom of a shallow pool between two rocks. Stars in her eyes, Lana leaned down and saw a crayfish under the water, its maroon shell glistening in the refracted light.
She reached into the water and plucked it from the stream in one fell motion. Between two fingers she held it by the carapace as its many swimmerets and legs twitched along as though it were trying to swim away, its claws going snipper-snap at the air. Lana sat there, fascinated by the almost clockwork quality of its movements, and considered showing it to Leni. She quickly thought better of it though. After all, with its many legs and insectile frame, it bore more than a passing resemblance to a monstrous type of spider, and she didn't want her older sister to run off screaming. With a sigh, she set it back into the water, where it swam away with the current.
That's when she spotted what she had come to the park in the first place for.
Laying on the opposite shore was a snake, about two feet long with dark square blotches along the length of its body. It basked in a sunbeam with its brown scales shimmering, as though God were shining a light on it to make it easier for Lana to discover. Carefully, so as not to worry Leni, she crossed over the rest of the way to the other side of the creek until she was standing again on grass and soil and could see the serpent ever closer, though she was still a fair distance away.
There was a show Lana enjoyed watching more than any other, a wildlife program hosted by a cheerful Australian man who traveled the world to showcase nature's deadliest - and most beautiful - creatures. What she loved most about the series was the respect paid to the animals. The host was no hunter, but someone who clearly loved all that slithered and crawled on the earth and wanted the rest of the world to share his adoration. It was an attitude she took to heart as she walked closer.
She imagined herself on safari, camera trained on her face as she watched the snake, which didn't seem to notice her presence. "Crikey!" she whispered under her breath in her best Australian accent before turning to address her imaginary audience, "looks like we've stumbled upon the rare Burmese Python, one of the most dangerous snakes in the world! Ain't she a beauty? Let's go in for a closer look, shall we?"
She was only able to take a single step before she heard Leni's voice calling behind her. "Whatcha lookin' at, Lana?" Turning around, she saw her sister crossing the creek just as she did, one rock at a time, an awkward and slow task due to her wearing sandals.
Unable to contain her excitement, Lana smiled her widest grin and pointed to her discovery. "I found this really cool snake! Come check it out, Leni!"
Instantly the older girl tensed up, her eyes going wide and all color draining from her face as she froze in place, still a few feet away from the bank of the creek. Casting her eyes to where Lana was pointing, she saw the serpent, and while it was still only laying peacefully in the grass the sight of it made her blood run cold. Snakes weren't quite on the level of spiders as far as she was concerned in terms of nightmare material, but she still wanted to keep her distance from the slithery beast as much as possible.
"How about we go play on the teeter-totter or something instead?" she suggested, though it came out like a plead.
"In a minute, I wanna get a better look."
"Now, Lana," Leni said in reply, her voice firmer.
Lana only groaned in exasperation, rolling her eyes and stomping her foot and making a big show of her displeasure, but didn't budge from her spot. "Come on! I've always wanted to see a wild snake." She clasped her hands together and jutted out her lower lip in a pout, widening her doe-like eyes until they glimmered brightly. At the sight of such a face, so innocent and waif-like, Leni felt her resolve weaken, though she could still feel a certain sense of danger throbbing in the back of her mind.
Finally she sighed. "Okay," she relented, though she still sounded unsure, "just don't get any closer. Look, don't touch."
It was, she thought, a fair compromise, which is why she couldn't help but feel alarmed when Lana dismissively waved her hand, as if swatting the order away. "No way," she said, almost cockily, "I'm taking this baby home with me as a pet!"
"Lana, you don't know what kind of snake that is. It could be dangerous!" By now panic was seeping into her voice.
Despite Leni's obvious worry, Lana remained blasé, smiling confidently as she said, "Aw, don't worry! I'm great with animals. I'm like a reptile whisperer!"
Light confusion briefly became intermixed with Leni's feelings of dread. "But, snakes don't have ears," she wondered aloud. Before she had time to think too deeply about Lana's statement, however, she saw her sister approaching the reptile without a care. Alarmed, Leni forced herself to move, and though the river rocks were slick she was able to reach the bank within a few seconds.
She ran the rest of the short distance between Lana and her, intending to scoop the little girl into her arms before she could get her hands on the scaly creature. But by the time Leni was about to catch her, Lana had already bent down and took the serpent in her hands.
With a harsh hiss the snake was lifted into the air and swung around, Lana's tiny fist around its neck. Now face to face with the reptile, Leni shrieked and jumped back in fright, heart pounding in her chest. "Lana," she began, slowly as she was still catching her breath, "I want you to put that down right now."
Lana remained unworried. She loosened her grip slightly so as not to choke it but still kept a firm hold. She held it up so its gaping-mouthed face was staring into her own, and she became almost transfixed looking into its eyes, those large glassy orbs that to her were like a dog's, so full of life and warmth and… something else. Something Lana felt in the back of her mind as a twinge of fear. But why, she asked herself, would it be afraid? After all, didn't it know that it was about to be given a loving home, to be doted on for the rest of its life and cared for? Surely, she just imagined the spark of terror in its marble eyes. Looking again, she convinced herself all she could find was love staring back at her. In fact, Lana had an inkling that if her big sister would just hold the snake herself and feel those soft eyes piercing her own she too would see there was nothing to be afraid of. "You don't have to be scared, Leni," Lana said, turning from her new friend to face her sister, "He's completely harm-"
Just then a jolting pain shot like a lightning strike through Lana's hand, and her words gave way to a harsh intake of air through her teeth, a hiss not unlike that the snake had given as it was lifted up. Tears welled up immediately in her eyes, though at first she didn't bawl. Instead she only looked back to the snake, turning her head slowly as though afraid of what she'd see. While trying to assure Leni of its tameness, it had sunk its fangs into the fleshy part of her hand, just under the thumb. What was worse was that it wasn't just a quick nip, but a vice-like latching-on, as though it were stuck. The rest of its body dangled off her hand, writhing slightly. Lana only stood there a few seconds, hyperventilating, too shocked to hear Leni shout her name with worry and run to her. Then she screamed, tears flowing from her wincing eyes as she fell to her knees.
Leni, concern for her sister overwhelming her desire to keep her distance from the snake, knelt down on the dirt and hugged Lana tightly, not caring that she could feel scales brushing against her skin and blood staining her dress as she tried to speak reassuringly to her. Lana was still too much in a daze to register just what she was saying, but could tell that they were words of comfort. After a moment of being soothed she was able to calm down, and though the bite still hurt she no longer sobbed but only whimpered lightly and sniffled.
"It's not that bad," Lana said, though her grimace suggested otherwise. "Maybe I can just…" she took the snake by the end of the tail with her free hand and gave a gentle tug. Instead of loosening the snake it only bit down harder, sending a fresh jolt through Lana's hand as she felt the puncture mark tear slightly wider open. She quickly let go, fresh tears running down her cheeks, and the snake relaxed, though not enough to stop biting entirely. "Nope, that just made it worse," she said through gritted teeth.
A clicking of a pen alerted the two girls to Lisa's presence a few feet away, and they briefly took their eyes from the wound to look to her. She still held her notebook, and at the sight of the snake she turned to a blank page. No histrionics, no worried look. If anything, she seemed only fascinated, as though this were all some unexpected but welcome variable in some grand experiment. "Ah, I see you've encountered nerodia sipedon," she said, getting close enough to examine the snake up close, "street name: the northern water snake." No hint of concern lilted in her voice as she jotted down measurements and observations on the paper. "This is a fascinating specimen."
"Lisa!" Leni said, shooting the young genius a harsh glare, "this isn't the time." Gently cupping her sister's tear-stained cheeks with her hands, Leni turned Lana's face back towards her's and put on the most sympathetic smile she could muster. "Don't worry Lana. Everything's going to be okay." She then reached into her pocket and, after digging around a moment, produced her phone.
"What are you doing?" Lana asked.
"Calling 9-1-1," Leni replied as she fiddled around with entering her passcode on the lock screen, "We need to get you to the hospital."
"That may not be necessary," Lisa interrupted, not bothering with looking up from her notes.
"Of course it's necessary!" Leni nearly shouted. Ordinarily she didn't mind Lisa's aloofness, but in such an urgent circumstance she couldn't help but sound exasperated by her youngest sister's uncaring attitude, "This thing could be poisonous."
"Venomous, Leni," Lisa corrected, rolling her eyes slightly as she finished making her marks on the page, "the proper term is venomous. And ordinarily, where I not certain what kind of snake we were dealing with, I'd agree with you. But I know for a fact that the only venomous snake in Michigan is the eastern massasauga rattlesnake, which this clearly isn't."
"How can you be sure?" Lana asked.
"No rattle, for one thing," she said, dryly, as that much was obvious. "Plus, once we take into account the environment, the markings along its body, and its size, this is clearly a harmless Northern Water snake." Another glare, this time from both her sisters, was shot at her direction at that descriptor. "Well, okay, maybe not quite so harmless if you go about picking them up in the wild. But still. Non-venomous. Furthermore, if my memory's correct, Lana's had her tetanus booster in the last year, is that right?"
"Yeah," Lana answered. She still remembered the sting of the needle as it pierced her bicep, a similar pain to what she was feeling now in her hand, though at least the shot was over and done with in an instant instead of the drawn out ache the snake bite was giving her.
"Then as long as we remove the snake and clean and dress the wound, Lana should be absolutely fine."
"You're sure?" Leni pressed, almost desperately, "Absolutely, one-hundred-and-ten percent sure that this snake isn't pois- I mean, venomous?"
"Leni, I do not. Make. Errors."
"Well…" Leni began, coming around to Lisa's proposal, "I am very good at dressing things up…"
"To dress, in this case, simply means to bandage her hand."
"Oh, right, I knew that," Leni lied. "So, like, what do we do now?"
"We start by going back to the house. Everything we need to treat the wound is there."
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" With that, Leni wrapped an arm around Lana and lifted her from the ground, clearly with the intention to carry her home. Lisa readied herself to follow behind, but found herself being raised into the air as well.
"What are you doing!?" Lisa yelled, kicking slightly in her attempt to get free.
"I know you don't like being held, Lisa," Leni said sympathetically, already carefully making her way back across the creek, "but if this is how we help Lana then we need to get home as soon as we can, and you're just not fast enough to follow behind. Now please, hold on tight to me, okay?"
Smart as she was, Lisa was able to see a certain logic in Leni's statement. She resigned herself to clutch her arms around Leni's torso as Lana had already done. Before she knew it they were across the water, and as soon as they were back on dry soil Leni ran off towards home, leaving her blanket behind on the grass.