Kaiju Pet Care Guide 2
Author's Note: Been quite a while since I've posted anything. I got carried away with some things, but now I'm back and ready to post some better stories, like this one.
With all the suggestions I got in reviews, I'm ready to give you all an updated guide to making sure your pet Kaijus don't kill you. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, Mothra, or any other monster produced by Toho co. I wish I did, but it ain't likely.
Owning a Destoroyah
Note: When taking this thing to the vet, it must be spelled "DESTOROYAH" or something similar. "Destroyer" ain't gonna cut it, and you may wind up with a sick 120-meter crab. And that's not pretty.
Why adopt a Destoroyah?
It's a very versatile Kaiju. Need to run an aquarium out of business? Use its microscopic form. Want to save on airline tickets? Ride his flying form. And of course, if you wanna get back at a city that wronged you, his giant monster form is perfect.
How do you tame a Destoroyah?
Simple. You don't.
Where would one sleep?
Wherever it wants.
What do you feed it?
Fish. Lot's and lots of fish.
Can a Destoroyah be introduced to other pets?
Yeah, but the owner should probably be not too attached to their pet.
Can a Destoroyah be breeded?
No point to it. I wouldn't even wanna think of how if they needed to.
My Destoroyah won't listen to me. What do I do?
Roll up a newspaper and swat the thing. Note: The author is not responsible for Destoroyah's reaction.
Owning a Gigan
Why should I get a Gigan?
Save a hell of a lot of money on Christmas trees.
How do you tame one?
Throw a big rock in it's face. Might need another Kaiju to do this. A Godzilla is recommended.
Where do they sleep?
Either in a big sphere-like spaceship, or cover it in rock and send it to sleep at a lab.
What do you feed it?
You'll wanna check a different guide. 'Cause the author has no clue whatsoever.
Can a Gigan be introduced to other pets?
No. It can not. Not now. Not ever.
How are Gigans breeded?
They're not. Luckily it's a cyborg, so you don't have to worry about, oh, I dunno, DEATH.
Owning a Mothra
I'll only say this for Mothra. If you can put up with those damn tiny fairies that are always with her, you don't need any pet care guide to help you with it. But since it's likely that you won't be able to, you're better off with other Kaiju.
Owning a MechaGodzilla
Why adopt a MechaGodzilla?
To get things straight, you probably won't "adopt" one. You'll need a lot of money to get one though. As for the reasons, well, you can fight off giant monsters raising hell in your city, but I'm sure a better reason would be having a big metal lizard to play with, right?
How do you tame a MG?
Unless it's from another planet, no need. If it is, well, get a Godzilla to knock some sense into it.
Where would a MG sleep?
In a huge garage.
What do you feed a MG?
Gasoline. A few million gallons should work.
Can it be introduced to other pets?
If you call "introducing" it to other pets scraping them off its foot, then yeah.
My MechaGodzilla won't listen to me, what do I do?
If you can't get a robot that needs your input to so much as move a toe to listen to you, keyword being "listen", you need more help than a pet care guide.
If I ever come up with more Kaiju to poke fun at, I'll put up another one of these. For now, I'm gonna work on other fanfics.
Lemme know what ya think of this? Personally, I think it's much better than the first one.