Color Your World

by My Eyes Are Black

Life is not without its challenges. But as the colors on a canvas, those challenges will fill a life; give it meaning. Grant it shape. Accord it form. The colors become your life. They are your world. YuRi

1. The First Few Strokes

M = "Mature." You know what this means. And I don't own.. oh, you know the rest.

Title: Color Your World
Summary: Life is not without its challenges. But as the colors on a canvas, those challenges will fill a life; give it meaning. Grant it shape. Accord it form. The colors become your life. They are your world.
Author: My Eyes Are Black
Rating: M
Pairing: YuRi

Chapter One: The First Few Strokes Are Always the Toughest Ones

Yuna tucked rebellious strays behind her ear. The strands remained briefly where they were, fluttered about in another gust of hot wind, and then promptly roiled back out to cause her grief once more. She cursed mildly beneath her breath at the minor irritation. Such misfortune could result in the straying of a round if it upset her focus and deterred, even a little bit, her aim. But there was nothing to be done. She would not waste the effort to move them again for more than a hundredth time, and decided it would simply be best to suck it up and carry on with her day. They would not be outside for very much longer, or so she hoped, anyway.

"Hey! C'mon, Yunie! We gotta hurry up before someone else snatches the find, first!" A cheery, high-pitched call conducted. She raised her hand to shade her eyes, finding the source of the voice and only managing to smile in answer. The happy little thing made to outshine the sun, and in its jealousy the golden disc sought to blind others to her golden aura. Her little thief, or "meddma dreav," in the Al Bhed; her dearest Rikku. "Well?" Rikku called back, most impatient, as was obvious from her voice. Yuna stuck her arm high in the air and waved to more clearly let her know she had heard.

Farther up along the jungle path Paine cuffed the slighter girl on the back of the head, offering no word of warning or explanation. Rikku yelped and danced away, now on edge and ready for further belligerency from the warrior. It was a challenging stance, and Paine had half a mind to accept what she mused Rikku had no idea was being offered. She readjusted her grip on her sword, laying it across her shoulder with the sharpened end angling out toward the foliage bordering the path. Rikku cocked her head off to the side, suspiciously scrutinizing Paine's every move.

Yuna finally caught up, breathing hard against the heat, "Sorry!" She amended, ducking her head in what amounted to a short bow. Old habits, and all...

Rikku cast aside her apology with a curt wave of her hand, "Don't be, I'm feelin' the heat, too. Phew!" She wiped her arm across her forehead and flung it out in an overdramatic manner. Yuna took a guilty pleasure in looking her cousin over once the blonde's attention was diverted. She was, indeed, coated in a fine layer of sweat that caught the sunlight, adding a glossy sheen to her caramel skin. Yuna licked her lips, and not just for want of water. She tore her eyes free from Rikku's tempting body, hoping Paine had not seen the wanton stare. Lords, though, it was hot. The sweltering sun beat her down without remorse. Her hair had begun to stick to her face, just as she noted Rikku's clung to her face and back. Perhaps now she regretted growing her hair out so long – as if Yuna could be one to talk. The only one who seemed not to mind at all was Paine, though she was well known for her ability to conceal how she truly felt.

Usually Rikku could handle blistering temperatures, she was from Bikanel, after all, and adorned with the most revealing clothing Yuna had ever laid eye upon- and a more pleasant sight she never had seen. In the arid wastes of Sanubia Rikku could work hard for hours on end without so much as breaking a sweat, but Bikanel was dry and devoid of water, whereas the air of Kilika and Besaid was saturated with a heavy heat that clung to one's skin and slowed you down. Thick as soup, some might say. Not even the breeze could wholly alleviate the discomfort. It teased them as it fluttered by, cool against their dampened skin, only to fade away as swiftly as it had come. Yuna dug out her canteen and raised it to her lips, relishing the cool wash as it trickled down her parched throat.

"And geez, you know Painey's gotta be burnin' up in all that tight leather," Rikku remarked with a snigger she made no effort to hide. Yuna was drawn back into the fray as she put her canteen away. Paine's sanguine eyes rolled Rikku's way, half-lidded without even an ounce of humor showing from underneath the cordial red. Rikku tugged anxiously at her scarf and inched away with perceived finesse. The thief sidled over to her cousin where she stood, on the very tips of her toes, and whispered, "All that skin-tight black is just bottling in the heat, s'no wonder she's so grumpy. She's uncomfortable and delirious!"

Yuna seemed skeptical, at best, "Oh-ho, so she's the one who's taken leave?"

Paine twisted 'round, her mouth settling into an expressionless frown, something Yuna had only ever seen her capable of doing, "What?" The single word carried with it a terrible threat, and Rikku ducked behind her taller cousin for protection, her hands gripping Yuna's sides so as to steady herself in her crouched position. Yuna looked back over her shoulder, ignoring how Rikku's fingers had tickled her sides when they settled into place.

"Rikku, she's not going to hurt you," Yuna tried to coax her out.

Rikku leaned out, staring dubiously up into Yuna's eyes, "Guarantee?"

A mischievous smirk, "Nope."

Rikku shook her head and ducked back out of sight, "Then I'm not budgin'!"

Paine groaned, shrugging her sword from its resting place and burying its tip in the hard packed dirt, "Rikku, minus-"

"No!" The thief cried out, darting from safety and halting in between the warrior and the gunner, "No! I came out, I'll be good! Just please don't take any more from me, Paine," she pleaded desperately. Yuna shot the warrior a disapproving scowl.

Paine snorted, "Got her moving, didn't it?" She turned and headed down the road, the cousins in tow.

"Meanie," Rikku grumbled, kicking a stone off into the jungle. She looked up at the sun and moaned, "How is it so hot already? It's not even close to noon, yet!"

Yuna shrugged, "Welcome to the island life."

Rikku scoffed, "I live on an island, Yunie. Well.. it's an awful big island... But it still doesn't even get this hot there this fast! We have time to prepare!"

"Which is why you should always be prepared, Rikku," Paine admonished from ahead.

Rikku growled, readying a retort, but it died away with the growl. "I'd have told her to 'shut up,' but I don't wanna lose anymore respect points," she said, low enough so that only Yuna could hear.

Yuna chuckled, "Hey, just look on the bright side! You've got a date later, right?"

Rikku nodded, seeming a little more chipper just at the thought, "Yeah! No matter how Painey gets me down-"

"She calls me that again and it's hurt time," Paine called over her shoulder.

"-I'll still have that to look forward to!" Rikku finished, undeterred. She flashed a smile her cousin's way and ran on ahead. Yuna realized too late what she planned to do, and could not call out in time to stop her. She hopped up and smacked Paine on the back of the head before bolting down the road in a mad rush to get away from the warrior.

Yuna trudged toward the darker woman, who had slowed to a complete stop, "Uhm.. Paine?" The warrior softly rubbed the back of her head, but said nothing. Yuna could clearly tell that she was contemplating myriads of ways to punish the brash Al Bhed for her actions. When they caught up with Rikku they found her seated on a rock, her scarf untied and dangling loosely down over her shoulders.

"I wanna go home," she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. "Forget the sphere, let's just give up this time!" She raised her head, soft green gaze begging them to agree. She looked so worn and defeated, Yuna felt a growing need to break down, if only for the poor dear's sake. It was not often that Rikku quit a job only halfway through, once would hardly hurt.

"No," Paine answered coldly. Yuna momentarily wondered if it was in part because of Rikku having hit her.

"It's just one bitty sphere, though," Rikku murmured in her most pathetic voice possible.

"It's not that bad, Rikku," Yuna tried to lift her cousin's spirits. She knew Paine would never give in, and the warrior's will was stronger than steel. No way out of it, now. "Once we find the sphere we can get back to the ship and relax."

"Or.. we could just-"

"No," Paine cut in again, tongue as sharp as her sword.

Rikku slumped forward, groaning loud and clear for all to hear.

Yuna sat down beside her and offered her canteen. Rikku mumbled something incoherent, slowly accepting a drink of water. As Yuna was recapping the container Rikku sat up straight, glaring piercingly at Paine.

"I'll remember this!" She spat. Yuna guided her to her feet, and Rikku trudged alongside her as they went about their task. Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach when Rikku slipped her hand into Yuna's. Swallowing hard against the dizzying sensation, Yuna squeezed her cousin's hand reassuringly. "You're not gonna say 'it builds character,' are you?" Rikku looked up at her warily.

Yuna laughed, "Of course not! You have enough character as it is."

Rikku furrowed her brow, "Hey! What's that s'posed to mean, huh?" She jabbed Yuna in the arm, "Makes it sound like you've had enough of me or sumthin'!"

"Can I butt in on this?" Paine asked in a caustic tone.

"No!" Rikku quickly snapped.

"You really want to raise your voice at me like that?" She briefly looked back over her shoulder.

Rikku slumped, "Fine."

Yuna waited a moment, and then whispered to her, "What I meant was that you're perfect just the way you are." She meant it, in more ways than she could ever hope to tell the girl.

Rikku giggled, "Now that just sounded stupid."

Yuna gasped and feigned a hurt expression, "Oh! I try to be nice, and what do I get? Insults!"

Rikku snickered, "Didn't say I didn't mind," she laid her head on Yuna's shoulder, smiling softly as she clarified, "I just said it sounded stupid."

"That doesn't make it any better, Rikku." Yuna informed, grinning wryly.

"'Course it don't, you're not me!" She tickled her cousin's side, causing them to stumble.

"And how does that change anything?" Yuna demanded through the fading traces of a laugh.

"Because if you're not me, then how can you understand something exactly the same way I do? Not everyone sees or hears the same things the same way. You say this, but you mean that. I hear that, but you meant this. Ya get me?"

Paine groaned, muttering to herself, "Now she thinks she knows something about philosophy." She rolled her eyes cynically, by now regretting not letting the girl return to the airship.

Yuna stifled a chuckle. Rikku could be so cute when she tried to express her deeper thoughts. Yuna never once thought she was unintelligent, never even a little. She was a little out there, was all; a bit spacey, maybe. "I suppose I do," she answered.

"Pfft," Rikku rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right. You're just sayin' that to be nice!"

"No! I mean it! You're saying that everyone has a different take on subjects because everyone has their own unique perception. Right?" She looked down, smiling happily.

Rikku was a bit surprised, her jaw hanging limp for a moment. She shook herself free and nodded, "Y-Yeah! Actually... Wow." The two had stopped moving, and further ahead so had Paine. The warrior watched them, close to wide-eyed. Not exactly sure what she had witnessed, and not quite willing to attempt processing it, she turned back around and carried on in silence. Those two girls had never made any sort of sense to her, before, and probably never would.

XXX

Yuna was not quite certain when she had fallen in love with Rikku. Perhaps it had been along her pilgrimage, though it lay dormant beneath the raging tides of life that had swept them up and down its twisting bends. Amidst the flurry of revelation and destruction, perhaps she had simply not the time to fully comprehend that what she felt was not merely friendship, but something more profound. Or, maybe some part of her psyche, buried deep beneath the conscious mind, had concealed it because it seemed "wrong." Or, yet another likelihood, maybe she had latched on to Tidus in such a way that it had prevented her from realizing her true feelings for her other companion.

Or it could have been as simple as she had only just fallen for the girl.

It had come in bits and pieces. Little blushes when Rikku innocently kissed her cheek in those moments when she felt particularly happy. The way her stomach flipped when Rikku hugged her, the feeling growing a little more each day. Her good-natured disposition became more infectious. Yuna would find herself more easily drawn into her games and bouts of hyperactivity. Most noticeably, however, had been when she had discovered just how appealing she began to find Rikku's body. She had never been attracted to another woman before, but with Rikku... She had felt disgraceful, at first. Though those feelings had continued in some respect, they had also begun to recede the more she accepted them.

It had been awkward, for a while. Whenever Rikku came near she would stiffen, barely able to hide her embarrassment when her thoughts turned to the girl's slender legs and perfect breasts, hidden only by a thin and far-from-modest top. Whenever Rikku would decide to dance around the cabin just to dance, Yuna found her eyes drawn straight to the girl's chest. It soon became unbearable, these desires. Yuna had never masturbated before, but it was not long before she would get away just to relieve her aching needs. She had felt perverse, at first, but at the same time she feared she would burst without release.

Aside from sexual attractions she had found new love for just being around the girl. Every laugh and each smile, every tiny twinkle in her emerald eyes reminded her that no matter how beautiful Rikku was on the outside, she was a goddess in her heart and soul. She admired her courage, and she shared with Yuna a very similar sense of justice and desire to right the wrongs of the world. Her endless drive to prove her and her people to the world never ceased, no matter how hard the battle might seem.

"So much for bein' able to relax!" Rikku grumbled, stepping out of the bathroom and going to her bed. She'd put her thief dressphere back on after showering. It had proved to be a far more difficult sphere to find than they had thought. A dense tangle of trees and vines had grown up around it, like a temple made from the fabric of the forest itself. It had been guarded by a Flailing Ochu, which had immediately gone into a frenzied state upon seeing the three intruders. Yuna was still nursing the fading scar of a hit it had managed to land on her right arm, just a bit above her hand. They had gotten back to the airship rather late, and were now on their way to Luca, where Rikku would be departing for a date with Gippal, whom she had been seeing for a little more than a month at that point.

Rikku announcing this relationship had been heartbreaking for Yuna, as it had more than signaled that her feelings for the thief would never be returned. She was only able to watch from the sidelines. She was most certainly happy for Rikku, Yuna was not a selfish person. But she always felt a pang in her heart, as she did at that moment, whenever something like this came up. She had long harbored the fantasy of one day sweeping her from her feet before she left, enrapturing her in an ardent kiss that swayed her never to leave her ever again. A foolish daydream, it might have been, but tempting from desperation alone. She sat up, nondescript smile hiding her hidden pains.

"Sorry, Rikku," she muttered softly.

Rikku paused, "Sorry?" She made a face, "'Bout what?"

Yuna opened her mouth to speak, but shook her head instead, "Never mind. You should get ready. I don't want to keep you."

Rikku cocked her head, "Keep me? We're not even there yet!" She threw her hands into the air, waving them around for emphasis.

Yuna rolled her eyes, "I don't want to be the reason you forget something."

"I won't forget anything, don't you worry!" She assured with a wink.

Yuna scoffed, "I have plenty of reason to worry, Rikku."

"Is that s'posed to be a joke, Yunie dear?" The thief growled, her teeth clenched tight together.

Yuna looked up at the ceiling, sly sparkles drifting through her eyes, "Of course not. That would imply I didn't mean it."

"Aiight! You're dead!" Rikku roared. Yuna had only the time to blink before she was being set upon by her cousin.

She held her scarred arm up in defense, "No! Stop! I'm injured!" She asserted loudly.

Rikku had one knee on Yuna's bed. She had been about to pin her down before proceeding to tickle her to death for her gross offense. When she did not move, Yuna cracked open an eye and peeked over her arm. Rikku's lips peeled back slowly into a grin, "All right. I'll let ya off easy, this time!" She placed a quick kiss on Yuna's forehead before returning to her dresser. Yuna's heart skipped a beat, both at the nearness and the sudden kiss. Sometimes she missed the days of her pilgrimage. Despite the overhanging threat of her impending death, those days had just seemed.. simpler. She had known where she stood in life. Or at least she'd thought she had. At least then she had not been wildly attracted to the girl who was now so nearby despite seeming so far away.

"So," Yuna, desperate to take her mind off her woes, tried to rekindle the spark in their conversation, "You excited?"

Rikku sighed, "Yeah. I just wish I coulda gotten some 'me' time in today, y'know?" She rummaged through her dresser, looking for Fayth-knew-what amongst the clutter within. Yuna could not help herself. Her eyes drifted down the curve of Rikku's back; down, down to her tiny skirt and traveling lower still along her legs. She shut her eyes, fast, and willed the thoughts away as hard as she could. But images, corrupted by fantasies, remained, playing like a video sphere behind her eyelids. And so they opened back up, but stayed on the floor this time.

Yuna faintly recalled her cousin had spoken. She dug around in the rubble of her brain and managed to sift out what she believed Rikku had said, "Well.. I guess we can't always have everything we want, now can we." Her words tugged at her heartstrings, and they sang sadly true.

Rikku paused for a moment in her search, her hands quivering as they brushed aside the odd assortment of trinkets she'd collected inside the dresser drawer, "Yeah, I guess so." Yuna was barely paying attention, and failed to catch the despondency in her cousin's lowered voice. Rikku quickly cleared her throat, "Hey, you got any lipstick I could borrow? I.. can't find.. mine," she huffed, shoulders rolling in a heavy shrug.

Something inside Yuna snapped. Whatever this alien feeling was it drove her in a way nothing ever had before. She got to her feet, stumbling mentally over words her mouth refused to voice, which was a small grace as it saved her from babbling like a drunken fool. Her fantasy replayed itself inside her mind, tempting her with a voice that mocked her sad state and lonely life. She had loved Tidus, and he had vanished. Now she loved Rikku, and she was always just there but just out of reach. She fought to resist the sinister urge; the tug at her heart and the heat building in her loins. She just needed to answer, she told herself. That was all. To push the word "yes" across her tongue and through the space between herself and her cousin had become a battle of epic proportions. Her desires twisted her motives to do their bidding, bending her conscience to the beck and call of their selfish whims; clouding her brain in a dreamy haze. Her voice low, and softer than fine velvet, she answered, "Yes, of course." The words sounded far away and bounced around in empty places nowhere near. She went to her cousin's bedside, hesitating just behind her.

Rikku, sensing the nearness of another's body, stood upright and turned around. She failed to stifle a low "eep!" and nearly stumbled backwards into her dresser. Composing herself with the speed of a chocobo, but more clumsily than she would have liked to admit, Rikku gave her cousin a playful shove, giggling, "Yunie, I'm the thief! I go sneakin' around, not you! I might feel bad if you start tryin' to steal my thunder, 'kay?" Her brow came together as she thoughtfully mumbled, "Wait, how did you get over here so quietly?"

Yuna, under normal circumstances, would have reminded her dear cousin that a few feet offered hardly a challenge in stealthiness, but this was in no way even remotely normal. She swallowed hard, setting her hands about her cousin's slighter shoulders, thumbs tracing out the feel of the bones beneath her silky-smooth sun-kissed skin. Rikku squirmed under the awkwardness of how they stood, emerald eyes searching, warily, the depths of her older cousin's gaze.

"Uh..." She drawled, unsure of what she was supposed to say, if anything at all. She was at a total loss as it were.

Yuna took a deep breath, her fear granting a strange calm that settled her jittery muscles and stilled her subtle shivers. "Of course you can," she reaffirmed with a sunny smile.

Rikku's eyebrows became imbalanced like the weighing of scales, "We still talkin' 'bout lipstick? 'Cause I'm not sure wha's goin' on, here," she droned out dubiously. Yuna could not so much as move her eyes, even if she wanted to. For fear of losing her nerve in this moment, where she was so close to the fulfillment of one of her deepest, darkest desires, she decided to make her move before she was won out by cowardice. Dipping down with all the grace of a descending bird sloping for its perch, she caught her cousin's mouth in a soft and careful conjunction. Her pulse hammered brutally in her chest; she could hear the thunder in her ears. An electric jolt shot through her from her lips and sparked greater the torturous need between her legs. She caressed her flesh against Rikku's with subtle movements like voiceless whisperings, merely reveling in the feel of the joining.

The rush of bravery passed with all the suddenness of a violent storm. Quick as a flash she pulled herself back, eyes open wide with horror as dawned too late clarity from the haze. Rikku, stunned as though she was, blinked once, twice, thrice, and stated unceremoniously, "Well that's a funny way to-" The look in Yuna's eyes– which had faded from anxiety to disappointment, and even hurt– caught her voice and choked her throat dry of air. "Oh!" Came a sound that Yuna just barely managed to decipher for what it was. Rikku covered her mouth with her hands as confusion passed to shock then back again. Her voice returned, but all that came was, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh," in rapid, machine-gunfire succession. Poor Yuna had no idea of where her cousin's thoughts could lie. She would have thought herself lucky even in rightly guessing that Rikku had realized her cousin's actions had stemmed from some form of sexual attraction. The girl's mind was a mystery, one Yuna could never hope to ever solve.

Slowly Rikku lowered her hands, though they remained together above the top of her skirt, "Yunie?" Her voice was again dry as sandpaper, and Yuna had the momentary notion of fetching her a glass of water just to help her speak, the ever-helpful woman that she was. "Th-that didn't feel like the kind of..." She swallowed, wringing her hands as her eyes darted back and forth from the floor to her cousin. "It wasn't.. was it?" Not a question, but a statement. She knew.

Yuna drew a shuddered breath. "No," she admitted anyway, the need to confess forcing the word out.

Rikku visibly began to pale, "So, you..?" She let the question hang, angling a lonely finger at herself as she still fought to wrap her head around the tinier complexities of why her cousin had kissed her in a manner most sensual.

Yuna nodded once.

"But that means that you..?"

A nod, again.

A void of silence fell over them; descending, curtain-esque, like a funeral pall, over what Yuna was now beginning to see as her own personal calamity. An affliction that would forever mar her relationship with her cousin. Or, perhaps, as she began to realize amidst the rising swell of guilt and fear, end it altogether. She could feel the aching claws of a sob digging into her throat, and she swallowed hard against the pain. Before her eyes could begin to water, before she lost the power to speak, she gasped out, her voice quavering violently, "I'm sorry," and tumbled to her knees.

Rikku swooped down, a golden angel, catching her dearest friend and companion in her arms, always so much stronger than they seemed. She cradled her cousin tight against her chest as Yuna's body was wracked by tremors of grief and guilt. How could she have taken advantage of Rikku in such a way, Yuna wailed inside her head. The girl who would have done anything for her. Who had trekked at her side for months on end to save her life, endlessly risking her own along the way whenever danger reared its head. The burning light that had lit her darkened path after he had faded back to dream, and who had reignited the passion lost within her since that day. It was no small wonder that she had grown to love this girl, whose heart she now deemed made hers seem small, shriveled and blackened by comparison. How could she have used her in such a way? It was not "just a kiss," as that in itself was something enormous. It was not the caring brush one would lay on one's family for affection of that manner, but a passionate buss one would bestow solely to a lover.

Rikku did not speak, but as much as it soothed Yuna's heart it also set her on edge. What could she be thinking? Would she mistrust her, now? Yuna would not hold it against her should she choose to. In fact she would probably leave back for Besaid, giving up her mad crusade, and live alone for the rest of her life. That would be better. Better for Rikku, and for her own self as punishment. Even then, as Rikku held her close with such care and warmth, Yuna condemned herself. She did not want to hurt her cousin, and would rather be far away from her than ever do so again.

Rikku shushed her cousin's whimpers, stroking lovingly her chocolate tresses. She was in a turmoil of her own. Had that kiss meant that.. that Yuna loved loved her? Could it be true? Her heart went pitter-patter at the thought. She had long held unrequited feelings of her own for Yuna, but because of Tidus.. she had though it an impossibility. A venture never to be taken. And so, she had resigned to helping her be happy, once again, even if that happiness excluded her from the fold. Yuna had been willing to die for a world that had hardly cared, she deserved such a happiness. And thus, Rikku had pledged herself to her cousin's side. But, now this development came along. Rikku was, in truth, mildly disappointed with herself. So shocked, had she been, with Yuna's impromptu kiss that she hadn't the time to truly feel it as she oft had dreamed of doing in those bitterest watches of the night, or when she was feeling particularly alone...

She had to ask, but she had to ask carefully. The air felt charged, and at any moment Rikku worried the tension would explode. Cautiously she took a breath, steeling herself before she spoke. Once finally prepared she whispered, direct into Yuna's ear, "Yunie..." She had to pause to lick her lips. Her mouth and throat still felt so dry from before, and it was hard to talk. "Yunie, is there-"

"I shouldn't have let you know like that," Yuna sniffled, wiping her nose on her arm as she tried to burrow deeper into Rikku's shielding embrace. She was torn, but held together by the safety of her cousin's encircling arms. She felt so safe, and so at home, yet so terrible; as if using her, still. She never wanted to leave that safe cocoon, where it seemed nothing might ever brave the risk to harm her. "Maybe I shouldn't have let you know at all." Rikku, hearing the pain in Yuna's voice, clutched her tighter and began to rock from side-to-side, ever loving; ever there.

It was making Yuna feel like a monster.

Rikku knew, nearly obviously, what this was- this grand secret that caused Yuna to fret so- but yet she was still afraid, still unsure. She wanted- no, needed to hear her cousin speak the words, herself. It was the only way to be absolutely certain, and so she asked, "Let me know what, Yunie?" Yuna hiccuped, and fought to take back her breath as her sobbing ran dry, giving way to uncontrollable heaves for air. Rikku suddenly began to fear that maybe she had pushed Yuna too hard, too selfishly, and did what she could, in a near panic, to calm her fitful state. Yuna would have laughed at the sight, how such a little thing gave Rikku cause to believe that her dearest friend might die from something so trivial. She steadied her breaths, at long last, and Rikku begged forgiveness; implored her absolution. "Y-Ya don't hafta tell me if ya don't wanna, it's okay! I'm sorry, Yunie! I'm sorry!"

Yuna rubbed at her eyes, peeling away from Rikku's vice-grip hug to look her in the eye. Those eyes.. she could lose herself in them; their emerald abyss. Oh, how she wanted to; to stare into them for forever and see only love staring back. A void not empty but alive with such life and joy. A soul and a heart, so profound! It made her shudder to think she'd betrayed all that love, all that devotion. It pained her to know that that love was not the sort she had for so long hoped to see, and now most certainly never would. Shaking off her daze as she shook her head, Yuna said, "No, you.. you deserve to know, Rikku." Her gaze diverted, eyes full with shame, "I-"

"Yunie!" Rikku whined. Yuna's head snapped hurriedly back around, worried she had done something more to do her cousin wrong. Instead she found misty eyes; beautiful fields of green wetted gingerly with the signs of a morning dew. So somber, so silent; yet so loudly melancholy in deep repose. Rikku quietly entreated, "Please don't look away like that, Yunie. It makes me feel like I can't help you, when you do that." She took the older girl's hands in hers, folding them between her palms as her eyes met softly with her cousin's.

Yuna nodded, compliant, but could not bring herself to smile as she usually would. Instead her chin began to quiver, and she fought away the need for further tears by saying what she should have said from the start. "Rikku, I love you. More than friend, more than family. You mean something dear to me that.. that I never could describe. Dearer.. more.. I can't even..." She fumbled pitifully for a moment, her tongue twisting wickedly into knots as she searched deeper for the words she needed. "For all you've ever given me: your friendship, your trust.. I love you, Rikku, and-" Her voice died away as she watched Rikku's expression turn from saddened and afraid to shocked and overjoyed. Before she could ask why, before she could draw breath to speak, Rikku tackled her to the floor, screaming with laughter, and tears, now unleashed, streaming down her face. This time it was Yuna's turn to be at a loss. She lay still beneath the exuberant Al Bhed who, so overcome with excitement, kissed Yuna's cheeks again and again all the while wrapping the elder woman up inside her arms.

She never wanted to let Yuna go.

Yuna blinked away her stupor, muttering, "Rikku.. what-"

"Oh, Yunie!" Rikku squealed. She tried to find something to say, some words to express how she felt at that very moment. When nothing came, she decided on a more direct approach. She kissed Yuna full on the mouth. Though it lacked the delicacy and tenderness of Yuna's from before, it more than made up in force and vigor. She broke away, hauling Yuna back to her knees only to strangle her again with an even more powerful hug than before.

Yuna carefully returned the embrace, the blank slate her brain had been reduced to slowly filling with thought, "Rikku...?"

Rikku jerked from her state, her neck growing hot as she looked back on what she had just done. It had not been quite what she had dreamed, but still. Yuna would need an explanation, as Rikku was sure she was most confused, now. She backed away, hands on Yuna's shoulders and a toothy smile brightening her face. What she should say, though? How could she possibly give justice with word the enormity of the feelings she must now convey? She had never been the most artistic girl, never the best with words. She was too blunt, too thoughtless in how she spoke. But, this was Yuna.. maybe she did not need a masterpiece to tell her how she felt.

She filled her lungs with air, looking as if she were preparing to shout to the ceiling and all the world, and truthfully some tiny part of her brain actually suggested this; but ultimately, her whole body shaking with excitement, she said, "I love you, too. I have.. for years, but.. I thought you wanted something else. You don't have to be sorry, Yunie!" She was laughing, now, the merriment rushing through her body from her head to her toes. She felt electric, she felt alive! Leaning in, carefully this time, she kissed Yuna's lips like a butterfly alighting softly on a flower, only to fly away but a moment later. She waited, anxiously, for Yuna's response.

The ex-summoner stared in awe and disbelief. Could it be true? Was it real? Oh, but damn cruel fate if this was just another twisted dream she would wake from, short. No.. this had to be real. It had to be!

"You.. you do?" The query came quietly, barely louder than a murmur. This gave Rikku cause to titter, and she nodded in that overdramatic way that was hers and hers alone. Yuna would have visibly been ecstatic, but the explosion inside her heart was too great to feel. It was not simply elation, it was not merely love, but something far beyond and more unconscionable than the entire world. This was rapture, in all its glory. She was breathing heavy, and realized she was beginning to laugh, almost on the verge of tears in a euphoric kind of bliss she had never known. Rikku's shining face only brightened when her cousin's delight showed its true colors from out the fog of anguish.

Yuna laid a hand over her chest, feeling the racing of her heart, and breathed, "Oh, Rikku!" Her cousin took this as her cue, and with lightning speed enjoined their mouths once again. Without waiting for thought, without waiting for reaction, Yuna slipped her tongue from between opened mouth to trace along the line between her cousin's lips, leaving behind a shining film. She retraced her steps, this time pushing deeper, and Rikku gave way without contest. She met this development with earnest, a gleeful giggle bubbling up even as she kissed her cousin back. Yuna's spirits soared at the sound. Hearing her beloved Rikku so happy drove her onward, and she was loath to pull apart even for the necessity of breath. Rikku mirrored her disinclination with a disappointed growl that reverberated from deep inside her throat, and she pawed wantonly at the skin of Yuna's neck just before blessing the very space and more with a shower of lascivious pecks, slowly driving Yuna onto her back all over again. What they had long been denied by twists of fate they now sought with an urgency most spirited.

A wicked grin across her face, she tickled with her tongue along her cousin's collarbone. The tiny hitches in Yuna's breathing excited her. Yuna was solid as stone in her resolve and set as a glacier in her conviction, and against the fiercest foes she batted not an eye, but now here she lay upon the floor at the mercy of her younger. Rikku laughed a little at the thought, the joyous tinkling gracing Yuna's ears like the sweetest music she had ever heard. She set her hands on Rikku's hips, walking them up the length of her back in crawling waves, taking in every shift of muscle and all the softness of her skin that she could. She linked them, finally, just above the strap of Rikku's tiny top, her fingers rubbing the material thoughtfully as she pondered whether or not she should do as her desires enjoined.

She wanted to. She ached to. The material of her own shirt felt horrid against the stiffness of her nipples, and her vagina implored for release from all her inhibitions. A tiny whimper worked its way from her mouth, but in the end she drove those yearnings back.

Rikku loved the taste of Yuna's skin, and the fire in her belly sparked a flame between her legs she had never felt before, never even in her dreamy reveries. Oh, but how she had craved the girl held fast beneath her body. Just as Rikku seemed poised to try and do away with the halter top, Yuna intervened. She set her hand on Rikku's cheek and guided her back so that they looked each other in the eye.

Taking in a shuddered breath, Yuna, as calmly as she could, said, "Not now, Rikku. Not yet." Her body screamed for the feel of Rikku's honey skin, and the urge to throw off her bikini top and ravish her until she reached her fill was so powerful that she feared it may usurp her conscience on the whole affair, as it had shortly before. But it would not be right. Love was not sex, love was being with her, more than in just the carnal sense. She wanted Rikku to see, she wanted Rikku to know, that she loved her not only for her body. She loved her blonde companion for all that she was. For her spirit and her drive, her vigor and her heart. She loved her for her loyalty, she loved her for being there when no one else was; for never giving in and never calling it quits until the battle was won. She loved her for everything that made her the wonderful, beautiful girl she had come to know on her journey across the continent. Yuna stroked the length of her cousin's face, hoping that she would understand her decision. She wanted to give Rikku something she could cherish, a relationship in the purest sense. Yuna would wish to give this girl a love that would only grow, forging a bond so strong not even gods could break them in twain!

Rikku scrunched her face in confusion, "Huh? Wha?" Realization settled in her muddled brain, cleaving through the lust and want. She knew what Yuna meant. At least.. she thought she did. Bemoaning mentally her lost union of the flesh, Rikku nodded. Yuna smiled sympathetically, and Rikku saw a similar disappointment in her eyes. "Arright, fine." Rikku sighed in a "darn it" kind of tone, her eyes drifting sluggishly off to the air.

Yuna giggled, though she did hide a trace of doubt behind her sunny smile, "Don't tell me that was all you wanted, now!"

Rikku met her stare quicker than the space of a breath, eyes widening to dinner plate size, "What? No!" She scrambled up to her feet, tugging Yuna up by her unharmed arm. She gestured wildly as she hurriedly explained, "That's not... Of course it's not, Yunie!" She hugged herself, looking rather sullen. "I understand. Well... I think I do. You.. want to see if we really do share the same feelings." She arched an eyebrow, seeking assurance.

Yuna was in truth a tad relieved it had not come out as a question. She sounded rather sure of herself. And while it was not totally Yuna's reasoning, she did have the right idea. Not to say that Yuna was absolute in how she felt, nothing in life was. All things were subject to shifts and change, but she was confident that their love was something that would topple any obstacles no matter the magnitude. She reached out and playfully twisted one of Rikku's braids. The blonde cracked a smile, and made as if to bite her cousin's arm.

Yuna snatched her arm back swiftly, not at all eager to add a wound on her other arm, "What was that for?" She half-whined, very evocative of Rikku's own mannerisms.

Rikku linked her hands behind her back, swinging her leg out in front of her and taking a ridiculously long step forward. "You don't touch hair that looks this good, Yunie. Takes forever to get it lookin' just right, y'know!" She prodded an accusing finger her cousin's way.

Yuna gaped at the remark, "Oh! You were just touching my hair not a few minutes ago!"

Rikku nodded, "Yeah, well.. I only said ya don't mess with hair that looks good, Yunie." She wagged a finger playfully as she headed for the stairs.

Yuna bristled, "I'll get you for that, you little-" Rikku shrieked with laughter and dashed down the steps, Yuna hot on her heels. She cut her cousin off by vaulting over the rail and landing just in front of her, barely keeping the both of them from falling down as she stopped Rikku in her tracks.

"Can I apologize?" Rikku queried, grinning shakily up at Yuna.

Yuna put on a face of contemplation, rolling her eyes around dramatically while Rikku squirmed under her shadow. Finally, when she felt Rikku had endured enough, she nodded, "All right. But be warned!"

Rikku jumped back and snapped a salute, "Aye-aye, ma'am! Now, can I go?"

Yuna's eyes widened as she remembered what Rikku had been about to do, "Oh! Oh..." She cast her eyes to the floor. She hated when she got ahead of herself. "What are you-"

Rikku huffed, shaking her head, "I have no idea." A wave of regret washed over her face. "Yunie, I never really... I just didn't want to be alone, y'know? I figured you didn't feel the same way about me how I felt about you, so...I guess... He's a great guy, and all. We get along all right, which is why I... I'll just let him off gently." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe I should ask Paine to back me up. From the shadows, y'know?" Rikku knelt down in her best imitation of a stealthy supposed-to-be-warrior awaiting her time to pounce into action.

Yuna paled, "You don't think he'd-"

Rikku shook her head, "Nah! I'll just say something like 'we're lookin' fer different things,' or 'it just isn't workin' out.' Y'know. Sumthin stupid." She looked up at Yuna, and flashed her a grin. "I'll be fine," she jumped back to her feet, bobbing on her heels as she prepared to set off. "I think he might actually be happier single." She hesitated, her eyes softening as she laid a hand on her cousin's arm. "Don't worry, Yunie. I meant what I said."

Yuna had a horrid thought. She masked it as best she could, but still it came. Do you really, she pondered. What if she had only said she loved her back just so to make her happy. Yuna had seen her make tremendous sacrifices for her, before. What if all this was just another? Could it be? Her heart sank into her boots at the very notion that Rikku might give up her own personal happiness just to increase her cousin's own.

Rikku still took notice of the look of uncertainty in Yuna's eyes, "What is it?" She droned the way she always did when she was skeptical.

Yuna took a deep breath. It had to be asked. She had to be sure. She leveled her gaze with Rikku's and asked as clearly as she could, "Did you mean it?"

Rikku looked as if she'd been punched. She gasped for air, her eyes showed hurt, and they briefly toured away from Yuna before snapping abruptly back, "What? Yunie, how could you even as-"

"Because I want to be sure you want it!" Yuna snapped. She quickly covered her mouth, and Rikku quieted in an unsteady calm. She slowly lowered her hand, feeling it tighten into a fist of its own accord, "Rikku, too many people have done too many things for me because they felt obligated. I don't want to sound arrogant, and I don't want to seem conceited, but... I don't want you to be just another to lay down something they hold dear because they feel it would be best for me." The irony was not lost on her as she stated her reasoning, and she hoped that had Rikku been telling the truth that she would not hold it against her to be suspicious. She did not want to be hurt, but she most certainly did not wish to hurt her cousin. The silence went on for a time, and Rikku had begun to avert her eyes as an uncomfortable weight pressed down on their hearts. "Rikku, I just want to be sure," Yuna whispered.

The Al Bhed nodded. Maybe it was because Yuna had lost someone before, she considered. Perhaps she was just afraid to enter into a relationship again like this simply because she feared she might lose them to tragedy, too. Were that the case then she would not let Yuna push her away through her own doubt's machinations. She knew, now, that Yuna loved her. She would fight, if she had to, to prove that she loved Yuna in return. So, she nodded, and answered calmly, "Okay. I understand. But, do you?"

Yuna was taken aback, "Wha- Huh?"

Rikku sauntered forth, peering up at Yuna through squinted eyes, "Exactly!" She asserted with a stab of her finger. She flashed a playful wink then scurried 'round her cousin, headed for the lift. Yuna turned to watch her go, blinking numbly as she tried to figure out what had just happened. Did Rikku know something that Yuna did not? Or was she just playing some game? Yuna sighed, shaking her head as she walked back up the stairs. Emotionally, and physically, she was exhausted. She would figure out what to do about Rikku later. She paused mid-step, her eyes falling on the still-open drawer Rikku had been digging through from before. With a tired smile Yuna pushed it shut, the wooden frame clapped when it slid into place, the sound reverberating almost chillingly throughout the silence of the cabin.

She nearly collapsed onto her bed, weighted down with fatigue she had not felt since Sin's defeat. All her energy faded until she was left with naught but her thoughts, and even those slowly slipped into oblivion. It called to her. Beckoning chaos with warm hands and swimming embrace inviting. She wanted to look back on what had transpired but moments ago, to recall the feel of Rikku's warm mouth, the wetness of her tongue as it glided across her throat. Most importantly the treasured safety she could lose herself in; the soothing shell her dear, sweet Rikku had built up with just her arms, alone. Perhaps a smile flitted across her face as she lay still in her bed, reminiscing on that moment when nothing had mattered, when nothing else existed, save but Rikku and herself, bound as one. Nothing, but nothing, could describe the sheer sensation of certitude; of oneness. She drifted off to sleep with that as her last thought.

AN: Okay. So. Multi-chapter.. more than likely. I have a couple of ideas for possible plots this could take, some more traditional while others are more.. unconventional? Meh, close 'nuff. But, I dunno. So.. reviews? Tell me what you think? I was going for a different kind of "voice" than what I typically use. Not sure if it worked or not, though.