Breathe Me
Character Pairings: Ellie/Marco friendship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the Degrassi characters.
Rating: T
Summary: Ellie finds herself slipping back into her old habits.
This is an old fic of mine I did a couple years ago. I found it and decided to post it here.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame
"Everything will change Ellie. I want to quit drinking. I want you to have the mother you deserve."
Ellie Nash was foolish to believe those words. Foolish enough to believe that her mother would quit drinking. Foolish enough to believe that she would get the life she wanted. Two weeks after she went back home, things were going back to what they used to be. Her mother snuggled up to some bottle of alcohol. Rehab hadn't helped her any. It was obvious.
"It's just a couple drinks Ellinore. I think I should reward myself with how good I've been lately. It's just a couple little drinks. Nothing to get upset over."
Those words made her cringe as she heard her mother vomitting up in the bathroom. It was at that time Ellie could taste the bitter bile in her mouth, laying curled up in a ball on her bedroom floor. Dry tears stains on her cheek. As her eyes glazed across the room, she spotted a shiny metal object. Sharp enough to make her bleed, and forget her pain. She didn't want to hurt herself, but she didn't see much else she could do. Her dad was off at his peace missions, and wouldn't be home for three months, and even then it would be for a weekend.
She sat up tucking her legs in a Indian style position, reaching for that one object that could numb her pain. A pained sigh escaped her mouth. as the sharp metal pressed into her skin. Drawing a line of crimson blood across her skin.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me, I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
A few minutes later, Ellie didn't hear the sound of her door closing behind her. No it wasn't until she heard the words.
"Elle" He said. His voice timid and scared. "What... What are you doing?"
Her head turned to see her best friend Marco huddling over her. Her eyes weak and her vision blurry. She hadn't been able to stop in those few minutes.
"Oh god Elle." Marco said softly, picking her up like light feather in his arm. She wasn't that smaller then him in height, but in weight she was so tiny.He quicklygot some gauze and anti-septic from the bathroom and carefully began to clean up her injuries. Neither of them saying a word for the next few minutes.
"I'm fine Marco. Really no need to worry."
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Ellie's mind wanted off somewhere else, to when she used to be younger and she remembers seeing her dad more then she does now. How they would bake chocolate chip cookies, the dough residue wiped across her nose. Her mom was even there. Drinking a glass of wine, and watching idly as her husband and daugther baked the cookies. She missed those times. Even though her mom was drinking. at least she was with her dad and had an innocence she didn't have now. She yearned for that very innocence.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
"Why Elle?" It was Marco's voice that finally broke the awkward silence in the room. She looked up at him her eyes dark and hollow, she was so lost and he could see it, but he wasn't going to lose her. He could tell she was still distraught. She did lose a lot of blood. Not enough to kill her, but who knows how far she would've gotten if he hadn't showed up.
"She's drinking again" Was all she said, and all she needed to say, because he knew who and it killed him. It doesn't surprise him to much though, he saw her mom passed out on the couch as he entered the house. He was just glad for Ellie to admit to him.
Without a word he wrapped his arms around her body and placing her head behind his shoulder, and running his hand down her back. He really was her best friend. Ellie cried into his shoulder a few muffled sobs as he comforted her. She never expected to be found like this. She always came off as put together in front of everyone, even though they knew about the cutting it was something in the past, which she was getting through. So they thought.
Marco had stayed with her that night, cuddling up with her and letting her know she was loved and he was there for her, that they would always be good friends, the best of. Tomorrow he would talk to her about Miss Sauve, and as weird as it was for her to say it was OK because she knows now she isn't alone in this world, that someone cares enough.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me