Spoilers: Up to end of S2

A/N: Betaread by the lovely Nocturnias. This is set about a year after TRF, after his return with things back to normal. Based on a challenge Nocturnias gave over on Tumblr (I'm Purpleyin on Tumblr too if anyone else is over there) of "Sherlock decides he wants to try a girlfriend. Molly is the logical choice. But she rejects him. He has to win her."

Chapter 1: It's All About The Timing

It was a quiet morning in the lab, wherein March idly turned over into the first Monday of April during her nightshift. Sherlock had sat examining slides silently for 4 hours before he decided to drum up a conversation.

"Molly," he started, said somewhat slowly. She'd almost call it little hesitant if she didn't know him better. If there's a pause it's for effect, not that she knew why he'd want to appear so. "I have a proposition for you - I want us to have dinner."

Dinner. Oh, how she had dreamed of this once upon a time: and long ago realised fat chance she'd have it. In that light she took it in the only way she could, so she now managed a deadpan and casual reply.

"I'm not hungry, and I think breakfast would be more accurate."

"I'm not talking a packet of crisps right now. I mean dinner properly. A…date."

He sounded a tad exasperated at her obtuseness – she noted it nicely mirrored his deflection of her asking him to coffee over a year ago - but she suspected that the last word was still followed by a winning smile. Yet she resisted and didn't turn to verify the prediction.

"I'm not in the mood, Sherlock."

"For a date? When might you be? I'm fairly flexible on the details as long I'm not working at the time -"

She glanced sideways from her own microscope, sending him her most chilling glare. For once she had no appetite to decipher his blatant manipulation tactics.

"For your mind games. If you want something simply ask for it."

He huffed back at her. "I'm doing exactly that already. I'm asking you for a date."

"And why would you do that, hmm? why would you ask me on a date? Why now? Isn't that the question I'm meant to be asking in return."

"Fine, I shouldn't have expected you'd accept without an explanation. I will happily oblige with the answer. As you are probably unaware, I have for a good portion of my life eschewed affection, physical contact; considered them a needless distraction to my cases. But recent developments have made me question the assumptions I've made. As far as potential suitors go you are a logical choice. You are intelligent, you already know me, you put up with my eccentricities -"

"I do, don't I. Well, even if I entertain the frankly ridiculous idea you mean what you're saying, you should know I'm been rethinking stuff lately too and you might find I'm not so willing to put up with your…shit…anymore."

"Really, Molly, bad language does not become you."

"That's what you take from that? Honestly Sherlock, don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

Molly sighed, shielding her tired eyes, before hazarding a look at her watch to see how much longer she might need to suffer this line of inquiry. At least she had less than half an hour to go before her shift was over.

"I think I've said all I need to say. Do you or do you not want to be go out with me?"

She stared hard at him, evaluating his cool gaze that betrayed no emotion. Being asked out by Sherlock Holmes felt more like a stressful business transaction than a flight of fancy; that alone might have been enough to put her off if she hadn't had the lucky epiphany, the sudden flash that pinpointed the relevant fact she'd already consumed. Another glance at her watch confirmed it, relieved she'd figured it out finally. Never trust anything that seems too good to be true.

"No. I . Do. Not."

"What? Why not?"

He was doing such a good job acting confused about it, though there was no guarantee it wasn't true. Was he so arrogant he assumed she'd never cotton on, nor refuse for any other reason, thus was genuinely thrown off balance by it?

"Because I'm not an idiot, that's why not." She stood up, desperate to put distance between them and keep her defiance, "Try pulling this stunt on someone even less observant than me, I'm sure it won't take long for you to find someone gullible enough."

He stood up as well, taking steps to follow her, but never quite caught her up, wary of her movement.

"I don't understand. This is no stunt. I don't get the sudden change of heart."

"Heart? Ha, don't presume to know anything more than my primal reactions. Those you might be able to see, pupils dilating, things like that, things I can't control. Stupid biology. But you're frankly useless at determining complex emotional states unless they're good motivation for murder."

"Perhaps if you get any angrier we'll start to understand one another better in that case," Sherlock spat back caustically, attempts at politeness being dropped. She was getting to him. Good.

"Are you actually wishing I was more like a murderer? You truly know how to flatter a girl. I suppose your obsession with death and murder's actually why you're proposing I'm a good candidate, I work with dead people all day, not quite normal Molly, makes me just about right for you. "

"Your profession is indeed one reason I feel we would be suited to each other. Apart from the continued perks, there is -"

"Stop! I don't want to hear anymore of your feeble rationalisations of this farce. That's the problem with you, Sherlock. You never know when to just shut the hell up. I would have thought you'd had enough fun within the first 30 seconds of this, but then I suppose I didn't play enough into it for you to get your kicks.

"I don't understand, honestly -"

"You've gone too far this time. You're forewarned, don't toy with me again."

With that Molly stormed out, simultaneously on a high from getting all her pent up rage out, and deeply disappointed he would stoop so low for a cheap and vicious thrill. The joke would be on him next time he wanted any access for experiments - Lestrade would simply have to get her bosses to order her to help and good luck to him at justifying any more body parts for use at 221B.

Behind her Sherlock stood half out the door, watching her stalk away, looking decidedly miffed.

Of all the permutations of "the talk" he'd estimated were likely to occur, none had gone remotely in the direction of reality. None of his prepared responses had been adequate, instead they were conversely inflammatory to Molly. The result was not simply not-as-desired, it was anomalous and the situation had gone downright off-target.

To: J Watson

Sent: 2013-04-01 05:43

Took your advice. Went horribly. May have lost access to lab and/or bodies for experiments. I blame you. SH

From: J Watson

Received: 2013-04-01 05:45

Just what I needed, a Sherlock wakeup alarm. Thanks for that. My advice was fine, your timing sucks. Bet it's more primary school info you've deleted, but don't you ever pay attention to what day it is?

"Oh for all that is - April 1st! Damnable day!"

"MOLLY!" He called down the corridor as he sprinted along its dimly lit space, knowing full well the chance she'd wait up or turn back if she heard him were nominal.

No sign of her in the cafeteria and upon investigation the locker room was empty. He was too late, she was on her way home. It was better this way; she would get some sleep, cool down, calm her emotions. Then he could tackle her more reasonable self head on later today.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the start - reviews are welcome, including constructive criticism. Chapter 2 will be up in a few days time hopefully, just needs a little editing.