A/N: So I have no idea why this idea came to me while I was writing my Suikoden trilogy... but yeah... it has no real relation to my other stories but maybe I will throw them in. My other Suikoden stories are not ready to be posted so ignore me while I get those done.
Since I have no idea what the heck this is suppose to be, I'll just leave it here.
For those who want to rant on a few things, I will just say this before you do.
1) I know that Soul Eater is more likely to do whatever I described below.
2) There is no such thing as reincarnation in the game, or at least thus far. This is only a FIC... don't take it too seriously.
If it lets you sleep better, just think this as some weird story that JUST SO COINCIDENTALLY shares the same universe and character names as those from Suikoden.
Disclaimer: I do not own Suikoden, all rights go to Konami... Konami, get us another Suikoden. A PROPER SUIKODEN.
Suikoden
Everlasting Day Dream
Eternal Life is both a gift and a curse. It is neither good nor evil. It simply is. Like a dream, it last an infinity from within whilst seemingly only a second from without. To live beyond the years of your peers. To watch them as they grow old and return to dust from whence they came from. To watch as life burst forth and wither with the blink of an eye. To repeat the cycle without end. And so the power of the curse that lies within that man would test him. Guide him and make him face the trials that were set before him. To test his resolve in a pain that would span a thousand years. But make no mistake, for it is not within the power of his curse to create such pain and suffering, but it merely guides him to the places of destiny. And destiny will test him.
The first time he saw her, she was strong, majestic and proud. Like a beast that proudly stood firm against the raging tides. Her stature, her pose, her presence captured him. She was his pillar of strength, his hope to face the inevitable destiny that awaited him. But to her, he was but a mere boy, he was someone who did not belong. And yet he was the one who reminded her of a love once lost. He held onto a fragment of memory that was locked away within her heart. To her, he was like a painful reminder that she could not let go.
She stood by his side because of that one painful past, never letting go. He did not like the way she did not see him, but saw past him, saw a man who was no longer there. A hollow ghost of the past that clung onto his left hand. A curse that hid the dark fangs of death within. The pain that gripped him whenever he saw her was unbearable, but he held it in. Because he did not want her to be hurt. He did not want her to go through any pain of remembering the past. No... he did not want face the possibility of rejection.
"Have you ever thought about what you are going to do after all of this?"
She once asked him. He had not given it much thought, having thought his life forfeit.
"Do not say that you will die."
She glared angrily at him.
"You will live, for the sake of your comrades who sacrificed so much, for the sake of the future of these vast Oceans who will need a strong leader to protect them. Think about them... think about me."
But wasn't that what she was around for?
"I love the sea, I will not deny that. The life I live will always be on these waters."
Such a life that he envied. A simple life that had no worries of a far future. A life where one who not be troubled by the politics of the World.
"Want be a pirate and join my crew? Won't you stay by my side? Even if it is for a short while?"
He should have accepted her offer back then. But why was he so afraid? What held him back? He had no idea.
But that day would haunt him for as long as he lived.
And for a long time would he live.
In a curse of power and an eternity of solitude.
And so passed the legendary Pirate, Lady Kika, lost at sea but shall forever be remembered by the Island Nation Federation as a hero and a legend. Forever would she be missed by those she loved, and those who loved her.
He had witnessed a thousand battles, and wars were not an odd sight for him. As he wondered the land, walking as far as his legs were willing to take him without a true aim or direction in this land set ablaze by a civil war. He did not know why he came to these lands but certainly it did not matter to him. There was no meaning for him but to wander the lands. The scenes of starving children, scorched civilians. It all did not matter. He stood at the edge of what was once a grand lake, now dried to a hollow hole in the ground, a ghost of its former glory.
"If you're here for the lake, then I apologise but you won't find anything good these days."
That voice. He felt his heart stop for that moment as his mind blanked. He dared to turn. Standing there with fiery orange hair, the woman who stood before him looked familiar.
"Is there something on my face?"
No, she was not the same. Similar, but not the same person. Yet, he could not help but feel as though it was really her who stood before him.
"You're pretty weird, but I guess around here, anything goes these days."
To him, everyday was the same. It did not matter what he saw, or what may happen. In the end it all amounted to the same end.
"Are you planning to stay the night? The inn is currently closed. Why not stay over at my place? In return, you could help me move some crates."
He decided, why not? He stayed with her and he did not know for how long. Despite the war that ravaged around them, to him it did not seem to matter. It was like he had found her once more after all of those years.
"Hmm, it would be nice to travel like you do. To see the World and all of its wonder. Walking is a good way to see things that you would usually miss."
She would tell him while they ate their meal.
"Would you like to join me to see the World? I'm sure you do not really have any plans, anyway."
Those words were exactly like hers.
"Besides, isn't it always better to travel with someone? If I get tired of walking, you can always carry me."
Her smile, her very presence was like hers. Travelling with her seemed like a very nice idea.
But things would not go his way.
Someone like him would forever be cursed to walk alone.
Everyone around him would only suffer.
He could stand there as the fire that consumed the house raged on. He could not save her. Not again.
And so passed Rida, a simple girl from Lordlake who was another casualty of the Falenan Civil War. He went on and broke his vow to never involve himself in war again. The civil war ended earlier than it should have. May the soldiers of the Godwins' death be swift and painless.
Mountains were never his strongest point as his home never had much need for mountains. He knew not why he had to come here, or why that he even listened to that blind woman. But he was in her debt and the least he could do was to go in the direction she pointed to. She never told him anything, but only acted like a guiding post to who-knows-where. Clutching the cloak tighter around himself, he squinted get a better look but he knew how futile such an act would be in a blizzard.
It wasn't long before he heard a distinct roar of a beast above him. He dared to look up and saw through the blinding white storm a large black figure circling above him. The creature flew straight down and landed loudly on the path right before him, its black scales and dark red eyes glaring straight at him, its large fangs bared aggressively at his face.
"You trespass on the lands of the Dragon Knights. State your name and your intentions."
From the top of the creature jumped a person who landed before him. He knew that voice. A voice he had not heard in so long. The one who stood before him bore the same eyes, the same hair, the same presence. Strong, independent and free spirited. Was this what he was meant to find in these lands?
"... I do not know you... yet... I believe that I do."
Was what she confessed to him.
"Like we had met many times before... though the visions of such scenes are vague, it is like peering through a fog filled dream."
For him, it was no dream. The woman who stood before him, though she be different slightly in form, was surely the same as the one who stood by his side many years ago. The two who shared a connection, however faint, were entwined in fate. And so he stayed for a time he did not expect to spend in the company of the Dragon Knights. The winds of fortune seemed to blow in his favour as the leader of the Dragon Knights knew of him, as he knew the man who bore the Rune of Dragons, for the power they held onto were similar. For once in a long while, he was welcomed.
"What was it like? To see history as it unfolded before you?"
She would ask, watching the cities below from the atop her dragon.
"Is it like flying through the sky? To see everything and yet be so detached from it?"
It would be similar, but the pain he experienced had long dulled his senses. Until he met her.
"You have seen much... but it is not like flying in the sky, isn't it?"
Her words surprised him.
"You have seen much, but to you it is more like a fish stuck in a current. You are unable to control where the river leads you to."
With a tearful face, she looked to him, a person without wings to soar freely.
"Have you thought of settling down? Perhaps... here?"
He had given thought many times before of such a luxury, but he always knew he would never be allowed to do so. Not while the curse of death and eternity still dwelled within him. But... he wanted to stay. To stay by her side, to feel the warmth of her touch, the scent of her hair, the presence of peace. Perhaps he would stay the night with her. Or a year.
And as fickle as the winds blow, so did the tides of his blessed peace.
War ravaged the lands below and soon the Dragon Knights were involved in the war.
It was not his war, he never wanted to be a part of it.
It was a war for succession that would claim the lives of many.
Including hers.
And so came the passing of Sariah, Dragon Knight who loved the sky as much as the man who stood by her. Her spirit as free as the winds that carried her Dragon.
In honour of her wish, he attempted to settle down, finding a nice place in Muse of the Jowston city-states. Perhaps he would see her once more, though that wishful thinking was fleeting. Or maybe not. Fate was a fickle thing.
"Is this seat taken?"
The young woman who stood before him would ask. He wouldn't be surprised. Not this time. Even in this crowd, the noise seemed insignificant to them at this small table by the corner of the tavern.
"I knew I would be able to find you... I don't know why, but I knew it would be you."
Would this be a repeat of the events that transpired before? Should he ignore her and just let her be? To live her life without the curse of his power? For his power only brought pain and suffering to those around him.
"Is such a thing bad?"
She would ask.
"While it is no doubt lonely and painful path to take, you have experienced so much. Is that not a good thing?"
Perhaps. But to consequence and sacrifices were too painful to bear.
"Whoever said you needed to suffer alone?"
Her words always made him think twice.
"To see people die while you stay young is painful, but in return, you are able to have new encounters. The people you meet, the places you travelled, you can learn so much and be free to enjoy everything that this World has to offer."
She could say such things, such straight-forwardness that he was envious of.
"And when you find some place, some new experience... when you meet... some one... that meeting, though fleeting to you, would forever be treasured."
But to him, for one who would live till the end of time itself, such experiences would surely come back to him.
"Though similar, such experiences are never exactly the same. Take our meeting for example... is it the same every single time? Do you tire of finding me?"
He never did. He never could tire of seeing her. She only smiled at him.
"Then you will always find me."
He knew that to be true. Like a curse, he would always find her, a reminder of the difference in the flow of times for the two of them. He would suffer the same cycle time after time. A punishment for his sins. A punishment of the curse.
"But at the same time it is a blessing. To meet at every cross road. Each time we meet, we shall see each other in a different World. In a different time. In a different situation."
And so it would seem to be a blessing. A time where peace seemed to stretch on.
But as before, he knew it would not last.
He had a glimpse of a man who was driven mad and used the power of his Rune for deeds that would make any horror he had seen before pale in comparison.
It was like looking into a mirror. Would he have been driven mad by such his own power as well?
And she would be devoured by his madness.
Thus ends the chapter of Dianne, made sacrifice to empower a mad King's conquest.
He remembered her words.
Perhaps she was his saving light.
She was what prevented him from losing himself to the power.
Others may not be so blessed.
Such a power was better left alone.
He would fight to ensure the wrongs are made right.
The Highland army would wish they never went to Ryube.
And soon he left the Dunan Republic. May they rule well with the absence of such corruptible power.
He knew not how he ended up here, but perhaps he had thought the winds could be felt the best in a place like this. The large expense of the Grasslands made him remember of his home. The vastness of the open seas was nothing like the plains of the Grasslands. He looked up to the clear sky and wondered if his power was much like another's that he had seen when he was younger.
A power to consume every single one of his loved ones and lead them into the darkness of death. But that blind one told him that it was not his Rune that created such events. No, his Rune would only cast the suffering and pain on himself. The blind one told him that the power in his hand was only guiding him. But to where? And to what end must it make him go through such painful memories over and over again? To take it as a blessing like she had once told him? He could not take it as a blessing. Not like this.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
He opened his eyes and saw her, standing before him as he sat under the shade of a large tree that had seen less than a quarter of his time thus far. Her bright eyes had always held that spark within them. The same that he had lost those years back.
"Is it really that hopeless for you? Is the pain really too much?"
To be led to the same place, to re-live the horrors of losing her over and over again was something that he could not bear.
"Everyone has to go through loss at one point in their lives or another. Some will go through it many times, others just once if they are unable to handle it themselves."
He remembered the times when he saw her die. Each and every time he simply stood aside and watch as events unfolded. He was unable to intervene in fate. Fated to watch her die over and over again.
"I will never be able to see it through your eyes. Though we live in the same World, do we see it so differently?"
She asked, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I want to see the same World as you."
An off-handed sentiment that was spoken through her eyes.
"We see the same things, but what we know of it differs. Because you have seen so much, the meaning behind each occurrence changes."
And the value of it becomes less as his mind dulls out the painful thoughts.
"Do you hate me?"
Her simply question seemed to send a jolt through him.
"To spend your life time to search for someone who exist briefly, only to disappear like a dying flame."
She reached up to his face, wiping away tears that were never shed.
"Is it my destiny to see your pained existence to suffer more and more each time we find one another?"
She whispered her own pain into his wounds.
"Would the last time we meet be the time when you cannot even face me? Where your invisible back will be all I am gifted with having?"
Would such a day come? He held onto her trembling hand, her tears that were shed would soak his clothes and his sanity for all eternity. He did not want her to suffer. But what else could he do but face the cruel destiny that would await him.
And destiny did find him.
Pray to the spirits to guide the lost soul of Arulvyn, member of the Safir Clan of the Grasslands. May she find peace in death where in life she could not.
He walked through the burnt remains of the clan village, the armoured soldiers of Harmonia having ransacked and left for some time. He entered her small hut, now a charred and blackened reminder of the time he dared to spend with her.
The pain he felt stretched throughout time, connecting with each death he witnessed, each time he had to suffer her loss.
He saw something among the burned remains, a book.
He did not know why, but he took it.
And he opened it.
"If you could, would you choose to forget it every time?"
The first lie he would tell her.
She had taught him many things through each meeting they had.
She taught him kindness.
She taught him sadness.
She showed him joy.
She showed him pain.
She gave him solitude.
She gave him companionship.
What she was to him was more important than anything.
"If you wanted to, would you choose to forget the pain and me?
The last lie he would say to her
And he would never forget. He could never forget.
"I write within these pages the collective thoughts of me and all of those who came before me. About a young man who has to suffer for all eternity the trials of bond and separation. One who has faced the hardships of centuries, he shoulders the mantle that no one else can carry. But such pain and suffering that he had gone through for each cycle will only wear him down. Was it fate? Or perhaps something else? That I have him each time through new eyes, and through each new cycle the pain he carried is heavier than the last."
The writings of regret.
"I had stood by his side when he was struggling to stand on his own feet, to find his own path."
Kika.
"I consoled him and gave him company."
Rida.
"I showed him the sky and tried to give him wings."
Sariah.
"I comforted him in his darkness and gave him light."
Dianne.
"I rekindled his determination and hope."
Arulvyn.
"I was born to meet him. The 'me' who stands before him, was born to help him, to guide him. But each time I try to guide him, I will only give him more suffering. With each of my passing, I only increase the scars in his heart. Why? Why must I go through this torture?"
Pain. Regret.
"What should I do? What must I do? I really love him. I just really love him. I just want to live together with him, spend enough time to know that he will not be burdened with sudden loss. Though I know he is unable to age I want to grow old with him. All I want is to be with him."
The distress that she faced. He never knew.
"I wanted to talk with him more."
The tears that she held within.
"I wanted to spend more time with him."
The tears that she never shed before him.
"I want him to hold me without worry."
The will that lasted through the years.
"I'm sorry."
A book filled with sadness.
"I'm sorry."
The tears that covered the pages.
"I'm sorry."
The book of regrets.
"To my later selves... to all of my lives that shall follow... in my stead... and without fail..."
" " " "Please love him." " " "
He paused, looking back to the road he had taken. It had been a long time since he last looked back at the road he had taken, only looking forward to the road he had to take. It was... refreshing for him.
"Are you still going to run away?"
He looked back and saw the a ghostly image of a blind seer before him. To run away? Not any longer. He knew the test of the trial set for him by his Rune. To stop running away, to stop standing aside and be held back by his guilt. His guilt that should he die, his Rune will relive its killing spree. His guilt that he was unable to age like those around him, to stay in perpetual youth while others succumb to sickness, age and death. To stand aside and do nothing would only cause those who cared for to suffer. That was the trial that was set for him.
"It would seem that you have found your answer?"
The image of the blind one asked. He only smiled, gripping onto the worn out book that was in his hand. Its pages and cover showing signs of the years and usage.
"... No. I have not found it. What I have found is an answer but to say it is mine is incorrect. Perhaps... one day, I will find it. After all... I have all of eternity to do so."