So here is an updated version of Chapter One. Thank you so much to Pyreflies Painter for helping me with the find the character names and for pointing out some pretty grievous spelling mistakes on my part. I hope it didn't distract anyone from the material too much. I'm so happy that everyone is enjoying the story. Like I said before, this is my first FF and you guys are so great that you make me want to write 100 more.
Monsters
Tessa Gray thought she could never, sincerely, hate anyone; until today. She stalked through the institute wallowing in her new found hatred of him, so engrossed in her anger that, for the first time in weeks, she couldn't find the door to her own room. When she finally stumbled upon her door, after five minutes of rage induced searching, she wrenched it open with all the force her training with the Lightwoods had given her and slammed it shut with the loudest bang she could muster. She flung herself on her bed, mindless of all the buttons and straps of her dress and the pins in her hair digging painfully into her scalp, and tried as hard as she could to keep her mind off of this morning's events. Jem she thought to herself, you must remember Jem, if he sees you in such a state he will suspect something. He would surely be at her door in a matter of seconds after hearing the brutal force she enacted upon it. But, his knock never came. So she allowed herself to think of this morning, while the rage she so helplessly tried to leave behind boiled.
She had woken in an unusually pleasant mood this morning. She hadn't had many enjoyable mornings since her brother's death, and Will's confession. Dreams that she couldn't exactly remember, but knew were of both Nate and Will, haunted her sleeping hours and she often woke disgruntled. But, last night she slept in dreamless bliss. After ensuring that both her hair and dress were in proper order, she journeyed downstairs for breakfast. It was still quite early, so she was the first to take her seat at the table Sophie had so beautifully set. She must get up hours before the sun, Tessa thought fondly as she admired how absolutely perfect the institute looked, even though Sophie was the only maid in the largest institute in England. I'll have to thank her more she said to herself before her thoughts were interrupted by the second breakfast attendant. As Cecily entered the room Tessa froze.
Since the announcement of her engagement to Jem, Will had treated Tessa with far more coldness then ever before. He would rarely speak to her, and when he did he would throw out more hurtful remarks than Tessa thought possible. This contempt did not go unnoticed by the rest of the institute. Jem had frequently come to her defense, and Charlotte had even gone so far as to kick Will out of the institute one night after a particularly horrible remark about fornicating with Downworlders aimed directly at Tessa. Although Cecily seemed sweet and kind for the first few days she spent at the institute, she wanted nothing more than her brother's acceptance. This need for approval led Cecily to treat Tessa almost as horribly as Will. Although Cecily's remarks hurt far less than her brother's, Tessa did not look forward to spending the next half an hour alone with the girl.
"You're awake early," Cecily said in a scathingly sweet tone as she took her seat across the table. Her shockingly blue eyes, which were identically to Will's, mocked Tessa with every glance. "I would have thought you wanted to get as much beauty rest as possible."
Tessa would not let this remark get to her; she had heard far worse. "I slept very well Miss Herondale, thank you for your concern," Tessa said in a most lady-like manner. Cecily smirked with her perfectly bow shaped mouth and rolled her eyes in the opposite direction. The two girls sat in listening to Bridget singing, waiting for Sophie to deliver breakfast. "Angels that noise is annoying" Cecily said to no one unparticular.
"Well we all have to deal with things we can't stand" Tessa said very pointedly. This remark only served to lengthen Cecily's smirk. Just then, Sophie bustled through the dinning room carry a veritable feast.
"Here you go madams, Bridget was feeling exceptionally cheerful today and prepared a very special breakfast." Sophie said smiling at the two girls. Tessa thought back to the conversation she had with Sophie a few weeks prior concerning Bridget, her new roommate, and thought that maybe Sophie was warming up to the new cook. Although with the way Bridget was singing in the kitchen Tessa never would have thought she was having a good day.
"Thank you Sophie. This looks delectable." Tessa said eyeing a particularly moist looking berry scone.
"Now Tessa, you don't want to attack the food," said Cecily in an unbelievably sweet voice. "With the way you've been eating lately, you'll never fit into a corset for the wedding." Sophie turned to glare at the girl, while Tessa did her best to ignore the jab and grabbed a two berry scones just to prove to Cecily that she was unfazed.
The door to the dinning room began to open, and Tess prayed that it was Jem, or Charlotte anyone but –
"Will, there you are! I was beginning to worry that I was going to have to spend breakfast alone" Cecily said, ignoring the little sound of indignation that Tessa let escape. Even though he had treated her like dirt as of late, Will still had the same effect as always on Tessa. The moment he walked in the door her stomach began to flutter and her heart to beat faster. Recently he had stopped shaving and the newly grown stubble on his face gave the impression that he was much older than Seventeen. Tessa thought that this new rugged look suited him, although she did enjoy how smooth Jem's face was against her own when he stole a kiss. While Will did look quite handsome, Tessa also noticed that his eyes were rimmed with red, as if he had stayed up all night, and his skin seemed tinged with gray. Cecily stood from her chair to kiss him on the cheek as he gave a passing glance to Tessa. He didn't say a word to her. He took his seat next to his sister and chose one of the berry scones and poured himself some tea. "So, sister, how is your training?" he asked before taking sip of tea.
"It's going fantastically well" Cecily replied smiling "Gideon says I'm doing remarkably compared to his other students." Sophie, who was busy putting even more food on the table, stopped short gave the girl a glare that Tessa thought would frighten Mortmain. Although Tessa was not certain, she believed that Gideon was still pursuing Sophie, but he had paid much more attention to Cecily during training, presumably because she was new. However, Sophie's uncomfortable manner when Gideon placed his arms around the younger girl to show her a move did not go unnoticed by Tessa.
"Well, that's not much to compare to," Will said passively "And you're a Herondale, of course you are going to out-perform everyone." Although she would never say it out loud, Tessa also wondered if the Herondale's out-performed others gambling and alcohol addictions as well. It was no secret that Cecily had left her parent's house because her father had relapsed into his harmful addictions, which continued to tear the family apart. As Cecily explained to Charlotte and the rest of the institute, after Cecily confronted Ragnor Fell about Will's well being, she told her father of the encounter, who spent years attempting to repress the fact that one of his daughters was dead and his son had abandoned his family. That very day he left for the night and gambled away everything the Herondale's had saved since he had quit two years prior.
"Indeed," Cecily agreed. "I'm sure it's because our bloodline is completely pure. Not one Herondale has ever mated with a human." She said smirking at Tessa.
"Honestly, I'm disgusted that any respectable Shadowhunter would stoop so low as to mate with something entirely pathetic." Will agreed.
"At least it's better than a Downworlder" said Cecily and she began buttering her toast. "Just thinking about some having . . . relations with a Downworlder makes me cringe.'
"I'm not entirely sure why the Council ever made hunting Downwolders illegal," Will said in a pompous voice "they're a complete mockery of life. We hunt demons don't we? Why not half demons?"
Tessa couldn't hold back any longer; Will had just demonstrated an intolerable level of hypocrisy, "How can you say such a thing!" Tessa said on the verge of shouting, "You have relied on Downworlders far more than any other Shadowhunter at the institute. If it wasn't for a Downworlder, you wouldn't . . ." He wouldn't what? He wouldn't have been able to confess his love for her, only to have his hopes dashed against the rocks? She couldn't say that to him, she didn't want to hurt him, and if the almost pleading look he was giving her said anything she didn't think he had told Cecily the whole story. "We wouldn't have been able to get information about Mortmain. If you haven't forgotten, it was Magnus Bane who helped us escape from the Lightwood's party" She finished.
"Magnus Bane helped you escape from the Lightwood's party" he corrected averting his gaze back to the scone once he realized she was not going to betray his secret. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised he left me and helped you. Downworlders have to stick together right?" Not only did his blatant lie take Tessa aback, something in the scathing way in which he said Downworlders made hers entire body convulse with rage. Magnus had been nothing but kind to the Shadowhunters of the institute, and most of all to Will. Tessa wanted nothing more than to throw her mug of hot tea directly at his face. Maybe that would finally take the smirk off of it. But she thought better of it; this was the first time Tessa had lost her composure amongst Will's onslaught of insults. He knew how much her heritage had bothered her, and being labeled as a Downworlder, when in reality, she had no idea what she was, only made the issue more sensitive.
Nate had told her that her mother was a Shadowhunter, and her father a demon. But that was impossible. The offspring of this unholy combination were always stillborn. No exceptions. But she had the magnificent ability to flawlessly transform herself into others, while occupying both their memories and feelings; a power which no Downworlder or Shadowhunter could ever dream of possessing. Tessa wanted nothing more than to know what she was, and why Mortmain wanted her. Will knew this, and yet he continued to prey upon her insecurities. One day Will had told her he loved her, and the very next he berated her with insults. Tessa knew why, of course; he wanted to completely remove any feelings he had for her, and for the most part, Tessa welcomed his onslaught of criticisms. She would be a married woman within the year, and also wanted to be rid of any attraction she had towards Will.
"I'm not a downworlder," she said almost dejectedly.
"You better hope you aren't" replied Cecily "Or else you'll have to call off your engagement"
"What?" asked Tessa, almost choking on her tea.
"The council will never let you marry Jem if they think you are incapable of producing a line of Shadowhunters," Said Will matter-of-factly without looking directly at her "Downworlders are barren, as you'll remember."
She couldn't let them see the absolute desolation she felt. While she still had feelings for Will, over the past few weeks since the announcement of their engagement, Tessa's love for Jem had only grown. Although she wanted to scream at Will, to tell him how horrible he made her feel, with both his insults and the looks of complete desire that he still let slip, she didn't. No, I will be the model of propriety she thought. So, she stood from the table, bid both the Herondales and good morning, and left the dinning room. All the while soaking in the hatred she felt towards him; allowing it to mask any other emotions. And so she stormed down the hall, searching aimlessly for her room.
In her room Tessa thought about Jem. She could picture herself enjoying their lives together at the institute. Never did she image that there would be a problems in the processes of getting married. She loved Jem, and Jem most certainly loved her. Had he known? Did he understand that the Council would have to approve of their marriage before he proposed to her? Did he think they were going to allow it? She needed to talk to him. She needed him to tell her that everything was going to be okay; that the one good thing in her life was going to happen.
She pried herself from the bed, straightening her hair and her dress and walked across the hall to Jem.
Will had spent five years perfecting his stand-offish and insulting manner. But why did it hurt so much more to treat Tessa this way now? He knew he had found love with Jem, Charlotte, Henry and now Cecily. But, why wasn't that enough to be happy? He stared gloomily at his partly eaten scone.
"Will?" Cecily said, interrupting his reverie "What's wrong? You don't look good, were you out again last night?"
Cecily was all Will could ever ask for in a sister. She was kind, loving, supportive, and genuinely concerned about his well-being; although Will did give her a lot to be concerned about. He had taken to his usual habit of wandering the streets of London and not returning home until the morning. He didn't sleep much, because he knew he would only dream of Tessa. It was no wonder Cecily was so concerned about him. Will was sure his father had done same thing while drinking, whoring, and gambling the family's money away. He didn't want to hurt her, but he needed something to take his mind off the pain. But Will ignored her question nonetheless: he did not want to lie to her again.
"You need to be nicer to Tessa." He said.
"But you-"
"I know what I do," he interrupted "but this situation is between Tessa and I. Has she ever done anything to offend you?"
"No."
"Then you should treat her with as much respect as you treat everyone else in the institute. I know how much you care for me Cecily, and I really appreciate your support, but this is my business." The younger girl did not reply. She looked slightly hurt, although Will knew that she would follow his suggestion. Will did not want to ruin Tessa's life; he only wanted to squelch his own feelings. He knew treating her this way was selfish, but he had to do it in order to protect his parabati. Jem was always in the back of his mind. Although some part of Will, the part that he never wanted others to see, wanted the Council to deny Jem and Tessa's engagement. He knew it would not change his need to distance himself from her. Jem would love Tessa regardless of what the Council decision and would find a way to be with her. So Will would go on pretending to hate her, until, hopefully, his feelings would dissipate: until he was free.
While he was brooding, Charlotte and Henry both entered the dining room looking as though neither of them had gotten sleep either. "Well don't you two look chipper this morning?" Will said sarcastically.
"Not today Will" Charlotte replied. "We received a letter from the Silent Brothers last night. They were able to retrieve something from Jessimine's memories, but the effort of overcoming the barriers in her mind have made her quite ill." She began chewing on her bottom lip, as if she was hesitant to say anymore "They're not sure she's going to make it."
The table was silent. Will desperately wanted to know what the silent brothers had uncovered, but knew better not to ask; Charlotte would tell them when she was ready. Charlotte looked like she had been crying all night. She had requested the Silent Brothers help in retrieving Jessamine's memories. It was also with her help that Jessamine's husband was killed. Jessamine was like a daughter to Charlotte, as was every Shadowhunter who took up residence in the institute. Although the girl was shallow, materialistic, and had betrayed the Shadowhunters, Will knew that Charlotte still loved the girl. She even had a special place in Will's heart. They had spent the last five years together, and Will had come to think of her as an almost insufferable sister. Although Cecily had not known Jessamin, Will had filled her in on all of the information about Mortmain, and she looked as eager as he felt to hear what the Silent Brother's had uncovered.
"They discovered the address of the Nate and Jessamine's meeting place, an Opium den in Whitechapel." She said quietly, as if she wanted to protect the girl's already damaged reputation.
"Whitechapel," Cicley replied "Isn't that where the girl was murdered a fortnight ago?"
"They found another body a few days back" said Will solemnly, "By the Angel, what was she thinking going into Whitechapel by herself?" They had found two bodies in Whitechapel within the last month. The details of their murder were gruesome. Both women had been stabbed to death, their bodies mutilated, and missing organs. Will shuddered to think that Jessamine had been in Whitechapel when the murders took place.
"I don't know," Charlotte replied staring down at the table and shaking her head "but now we have a lead on Mortmain's whereabouts. Will, I want you and Jem to investigate the location. Neither of you have the looks of an Opium addict, and as far as I can tell the place has no connection to downworlders, so you'll have to pose as mundanes collecting a debt from an addict that frequents the place." Will marveled at Charlotte's ability to take control of this situation after hearing such devastating news. All of the council members who thought women were too emotional to head the institute obviously had never seen Charlotte in action.
"We'll start making preparations immediately, although I don't suppose we could bring some Opium back? You know, for science. " Will replied, anxious to start the investigation.
"There's one more thing," Charlotte replied with a sigh, ignoring his last comment "By no means will you mention this mission to Tessa. I do not want any of the women to go to Whitechapel while girls are being murdered, and once Tessa gets wind of this she'll want to go. I have full confidence that you and Jem would be able to protect her, but I can't run the risk of you three being separated." Charlotte said most authoritatively. Will nodded and made his way down the hall to Jem.
Tessa knocked quietly on Jem's door, it was still early and she did not want to wake him. Although he had been feeling better in general as of late, Tessa noticed he was coughing more than usual, and hoped that it was just a cold. Jem took slightly longer reaching the door than usual, and when he opened it, Tessa could see why. He look pale, paler than usual. He had dark circles around his almond shaped eyes and it looked as though he was sweating profusely. He gave her a half-hearted smile, but it did nothing to mask his condition.
"Jem!" Tessa exclaimed "What happened? Do I need to call Charlotte? Are you feeling ill? Did you run out?"
"Tessa," Jem said in a soothing voice while placing his hand on her shoulder "Calm down, I'm fine. Come in, and I'll explain." He stepped aside to let her in, and she entered his room hesitantly.
"I'm so sorry you had to see me like this Tessa, I made a mistake, but everything is fine" he said reassuringly. He led her to a chair next to his wardrobe and gestured for her to sit. She took the seat hesitantly, perched on the edge while she waited for him to explain "Last night, I thought, because I've been feeling so well lately, that I would attempt to take a lesser dose of the drug."
"Jem that's reckless. If you –"Tessa Began before Jem interrupted her politely.
"I thought that since Mortmain is still buying a huge supply of it that I would try to lower my dosage, but as you can see, it didn't work." He said as he took a seat opposite of her on the trunk at the end of his bed. He could tell she was still concerned so he went on. "Don't worry, I took the appropriate amount this morning and should be feeling completely better tomorrow." She knew he was going to be okay, but in this state he looked so fragile, like the smallest whisper could send him toppling to the ground.
"So, Tessa to what do I owe this lovely visit?"
She wanted to ask him about the council, but she couldn't bring herself to mention anything that might upset his already frail condition.
"I just wanted to see you" she lied.
His face brightened at this. When Jem smiled it seemed as if the whole world were a better place. Happiness radiated from him so that others around him, regardless of their mood, felt uncontrollably happier. The smiles he gave Tessa were even more radiant. Even in his deteriorated condition, he truly was beautiful, like a swan taking flight. He did not have Will's ruggedly handsome beauty, but when one looked at Jem one could see his loveliness, both inside and out. His smile could melt a girl's heart, thought Tessa. She wanted nothing more than to kiss his pale lips. But soon they would be husband and wife, and there would be plenty of time for kisses And more passionate activities, thought Tessa unable to control the blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks. The night they had retrieved Will from the opium den still lingered in Tessa's mind. Thoughts of the way he attentively explored her body with his hands and lips served to increase the blush.
As if Jem knew what she was thinking, he stood from his seat and moved to her faster than Tessa would have imagined. He placed his hands on the arms of the chair, his smile now gone and replaced with a look of desire, and leaned down to kiss her. He broke away for an instant; his mouth still millimeters from her own "You're absolutely breathtaking when you blush," he whispered. She closed the distance again. She shouldn't be kissing him like this, he was sick, and where was her sense of propriety? But she couldn't help herself. He drew her from her chair without pulling his mouth away, wrapped one arm around her waist, and pulled her face closer with the other hand. The kiss was mesmerizing. Unlike the kiss they shared after retrieving Will, which was demanding and later turned exploratory, this kiss was filled with passion. It was as if he wanted to show all the love he had for Tessa in this one, incredible kiss. One hand was entangled in her hair loosening the pins that held it up, while the moved up to rest on the skin exposed on her shoulder.
She wanted to feel his skin as well, which was hot from the fever, like their previous tryst. She moved her hands to the collar of his shirtsleeves and began unbuttoning, while his hand on her back began playing with the laces holding together her bodice. He was so pale, so beautifully white; his skin so soft against her light touches.
She had just undone the last button of his shirt, only taking in his beauty for a second when someone knocked unceremoniously on Jem's door. They pulled apart immediately, like an electric current had just formed between them. Jem began hastily buttoning his shirt, while Tessa tried desperately to put her hairpin back in place. It would be terribly embarrassing if someone had suspected their passionate meetings, when even touching someone who is not a spouse might ruin one's reputation for life. Tessa shouldn't even be in Jem's room without an adult, let alone sneaking passionate kisses.
Jem had just buttoned the last of his shirt when the knock came again, this time much more forcefully. It was probably just Charlotte or Henry checking on Jem after he hadn't shown up for breakfast. If it was either of the two they would see that Jem was sick, but fine and leave before they would even notice Tessa. But when she heard his voice outside of Jem's door, she knew there was no escape.
"Hey open up. I'm not Ali Baba you know. I can't just say Open Sesame and the door will-"
At that moment Jem hurriedly unlocked and opened the door so that Tessa was still hidden from view.
"It worked! How would you like to go to the East Indies and see if we can use that little trick to find Shangri-La?" He said while pushing the door open farther, he hadn't noticed Tessa standing in the corner, he was still inspecting Jem. "You look like you got into a fight with a Werewolf, are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine" Jem replied shakily "I just didn't take enough last night"
"You should be more careful" he said more seriously this time while striding farther into the room, his eyes finally leaving Jem. "If you keep trying to lower the dosage-"He stopped mid-sentence when he saw Tessa. He blinked as if he wasn't sure she was really there. Suddenly Tessa became very aware of how much her hair had come undone and how bedraggled Jem still looked. It was obvious what they had been doing.
"Hello Will." She said guiltily.