The day had not yet dawned when she bolted upright in her bunk, sweat beading on her brow, and a pain engulfing her entire body so intense that for a moment she could not breathe.

REY

With a flash it was gone, and she was left with only the memory of the pain. Shaking herself into the present, Rey got up from the bunk and moved through the dark, sandstone tunnels until she was outside to watch the sunrise. she looked around at the pre-dawn lit planet. With only the muted light the world looked grey, and dull, but as the first rays of light reached over the horizon the brilliant colours of the planet began to appear. Rey smiled at the beauty, glad she was up to see this, fighting against intrusive thoughts of Ben and where he might be, what he might be seeing. He made his choice, she reminded herself, trying to push the thoughts, somewhat unsuccessfully, out of her mind.

It had been a month since Crait. A month since she had shut the door on Ben. He hadn't tried to contact her since, nor she him. Setting up the base took time, gathering intel, securing the base from scouting droids and hiding their small numbers from scanners, it was long hours with so few of them remaining. She hadn't given herself a minute to be alone or to reflect, she hadn't really wanted to. But with the memory of the pain lingering within her, she wondered if maybe she should take a minute or two, here in this pre-dawn moment to do just that. Watching the sun make its way over the pink mountains Rey hugged her arms tighter around herself. She took a breath, closed her eyes, and gave in to the memories that had been tugging at her mind for weeks now.

Tentatively she reached for that connection. It had laid dormant for some time now, she wasn't even sure if it was still there. She reached out to feel it, to maybe even step through it if she could manage, but all that met her reaching was cold emptiness. She sighed, unsure whether to be disappointed or relieved. What was she expecting to find once she opened that door again? She returned her gaze to the ever-brightening horizon.

"What are you doing up so early?" Rey glanced back as General Organa joined her, turning her face to the morning sun.

"I couldn't sleep," she told the general. Leia looked at her, concern shrouding her features.

"What is it?"

Rey bit her lip, not sure where to start. It was everything and it was nothing. It was a whole lot of little things, and one rather big one. There was a restlessness inside her, something telling her to get out there, to find him again, but she knew that the resistance needed her, and she couldn't quite convince herself that going after him wouldn't turn out to be a fool's mission anyway. Despite knowing this, the part of her that had come to care for Ben would not let her live peacefully. None of that was anything that the General could help with, however, and so Rey put on a bright smile.

"It's nothi-" the pain was greater this time and she cried out as it struck, bending double in its grip.

REY

That voice…

PLEASE

She collapsed onto the ground just as the pain released her and the voice vanished again, the words still echoing through her, and his face the last time she had heard him say them. Please. An outstretched hand. An offer she had to leave. A boy she didn't want to. She lifted teary eyes to Leia, who stared at her in shock.

"Ben," she whispered, frozen in place. Snapping out of it, Leia rushed to help Rey up. "Are you all right?"

Rey nodded, but exchanged a worried glance with the general. "Do you think…" she trailed off, not sure she should burden Leia with her concerns. Then again, Ben was Leia's son, she was bound to be concerned. "Do you think he's in trouble?"

Leia took a shaky breath and looked away. "I don't know," she whispered. She closed her eyes and Rey stayed respectfully quiet, sensing that the general was reaching out for her son. She wondered how often Leia did that. Probably more often than anyone realised. Rey perked up when Leia turned back to her.

"Will you do something for me?"

Rey nodded. "Of course, anything."

"Will you find my son?" Leia whispered the words, and Rey could see the cost that they had on the general. To admit that she couldn't be the one to bring her son back, to ask someone else to do that for her child. As for Rey, that restless part inside of her finally stilled, finally at peace knowing that she was about to get out there and find him. She was about to know one way or another what had happened to him in the month since she had seen him last. She nodded, placing a reassuring hand on the generals shoulder.

"Where are you off to so fast?"

Rey whirled towards the voice. "Finn! Glad you're back, how did the mission go?"

Finn nodded assuredly, "We've organised some trade with the locals. We're so far out that they've never even heard of the first order, but they are thankful for… wait, is that a bag? Are you headed out?"

Rey nodded, not really wanting to go into the details of where she was headed and why. She shrugged nonchalantly. "The general has asked me to go on a special mission."

"Alone?" the concern in Finns eyes was touching, and a little patronising. She raised her eyebrows "Not alone, BB8 is coming with me."

Finn grinned. "Poe's not going to like that!"

BB8 rolled up behind her just then, beeping, and Rey turned to smile at the little droid.

"I couldn't have put it better myself. Are you ready?"

BB8 beeped happily and headed towards the aircraft. Rey turned back to Finn. They held each other's gaze for a moment.

"Be careful, whatever it is that you are doing."

Rey gave a smile. "You too. say good bye to Rose and Poe for me?"

Finn nodded. Rey reached forward and gave him a quick hug.

"I don't know how long this will take, but I will be back, don't worry about that!"

Finn squeezed her tight. "You just make sure that you are." Releasing her, he stepped back and headed back in towards the bunk rooms, and Rey turned to the small ship she would be using. BB8 was already in place, so Rey quickly stowed her bag and jumped into the cockpit. Starting the engines, she allowed herself one last look at the small base that had come to be home. She turned the nose of the plane and took off into space. Once they had breached the atmosphere she put the ship into auto-pilot mode. BB8 beeped questioningly.

"Just for a moment. I need to try something." She closed her eyes and tried to reach for that bond again. She couldn't see Ben, but a sense of direction came to her and she opened her eyes, punching in the co-ordinates. BB8 beeped again.

"I don't know, but we've got to start somewhere right?"

BB8 answered and Rey smiled grimly. "I hope you're right," she said as she launched the ship into hyperspace

KC

oh hey there. If you liked this, please let me know and I might continue :)