Boiled Eggs and Coca Cola
"Don't you guys get sick of drinking Coke all the time? Honestly, it'll only give you bad stuff," Uruha commented and the guys sitting on the sofa looked up as Uruha passed one more time before finally sitting down and joining them.
"What do you mean? I mean, it's just Cola for crying out loud. What's so bad about it?" Ruki asked, scooting over to make room for the guitarist. Kai had somehow managed to find a damn huge sofa that actually has room for the five of them, and still have a bit of space so that you won't be squeezed in together. Luckily for them, Kai wasn't home at present, so they had enough space for the four of them.
The GazettE had finally got the free time they needed and they were know sitting on a long, red sofa, each doing their own things and each drinking the same stuff; Coca Cola. It actually used to be one of Uruha's fave drinks, so the guys were a bit surprised that the blonde guitarist suddenly protested against it.
"It's okay to drink some in a while, Uruha-kun, as long as you brush your teeth and all, right? I mean, the soda might be bad for your bones and teeth, but I don't usually drink this stuff anyway," Reita commented, taking another gulp. Uruha just shrugged.
"Well, I just found out that it's got cocaine in it," he said bluntly. Of course, you could imagine the reactions. They all choked on their soda at the same time.
"Dude, you made me spill my coke!" Aoi protested, checking for stains on his clothes.
"It's got what in it?" Ruki said, laughing out loud as he patted on Reita's back to relieve the nose-banded latter from the choking.
"It's got cocaine in it, and that's a fact. I read it on the net somewhere. Coca Cola's got like, 0.1 or less of cocaine in it or something. It just contains enough to get you addicted to the product but not enough to get you dead or anything."
"And you know this because?" Aoi asked and Uruha shrugged.
"Because I happened to stumble on it on the net. I think it's true, by the way. I mean, even the product's name says it all," he stated, and he continued playing with his cellphone as if nothing happened.
They GazettE guys had to admit, they were a bit surprised. Uruha was the most simple-minded and ignorant but consistent member of the group and he suddenly stumbled upon a fact like that. They could bet you anything that Uruha'll never let go of his beliefs unless there's a good reason from him to do so.
"Cola doesn't have coke in it, Uru, come on. It's probably a joke someone put on the net!" Reita tried to convince his blonde childhood friend, but the latter just shook his head.
"You don't put stuff like that on the net without any proof or responsibility."
"Then do you have any responsibility for telling us this fact, then? Show us the site you've seen it in," Aoi smirked, but Uruha shrugged.
"I forgot where I found it. It's practically hidden or gone. But it's there somewhere," Uruha said solemnly and honestly.
"Yeah just like your brains," Aoi scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"If it's got cocaine in it, then why aren't we high or anything?" Ruki asked, more curious than challenging.
"Did you try drinking more that two or three cans of it? Exactly. You'll have to atleast drink somewhere about five bottles of it… And then you'll get a bit of the minor high-effects… It's the soda I think. Yeah, it's the soda."
"What about the soda? Don't tell me, it contains sulphur in it," Aoi said sarcastically but Uruha shook his head.
"I don't know about that. It's possible though. I'll have to look it up," he said thoughtfully before continuing, "But I think that it's the soda that prevents us from drinking so much cola. You'll feel sick because of it… Damn those scientists are smart."
"The main reason why they're called scientists…" Aoi mumbled, the four of them falling silent.
And the whole while, Uruha had stated his facts with no expression at all, his eyes focused on his cellphone. Reita and Aoi sighed at Uruha's naïveté while Ruki didn't even seem to care. The vocalist did seem a bit interested in the topic but now his mind was obviously somewhere else.
"Oh yeah!! I just remembered!! Hey guys, I'm gonna go get my laptop! There's something I wanna show you guys!" Ruki exclaimed happily all of a sudden and he went off. The other three was left in silence, Aoi drinking his Cola while staring at the TV absent-mindedly while Reita was busy with his PSP and Uruha was SMS-ing with Miyavi.
But he suddenly got a message from Kai. Uruha frowned at the message and turned to the other two.
"Uh, guys? What do you need to boil an egg?" he suddenly asked.
"Huh?" Aoi frowned, turning to Uruha, "What?"
"You'll need a pot and an egg. Duh," Reita answered for the raven, and Uruha nodded uncertainly. He got up nonetheless and walked into the kitchen, frowning and staring at his cellphone.
Kai had asked him to please boil a few eggs so it'll be easy to paint on them; it's to make Easter Eggs. It was in friggin' October for crying out loud, so who the hell would be celebrating Easter at a time like this?! But Uruha complied nonetheless and he stuffed his cellphone inside his jeans, entering the kitchen.
He searched the cupboards for a pot to boil the eggs in and he rummaged the fridge for eggs. He lit the stove, put the eggs inside the pot, and put the pot on the stove, on the fire, with no water.
……
……
I know. Don't say a word, Uruha's naïve like that.
Moving on, of course nothing happened to the eggs and the blonde guitarist seriously began to think that he did something wrong (which he obviously did, duh). Luckily, before anything bad happened, like the pot being blown up to pieces and the house being burned down, Aoi came inside the kitchen looking quite bored.
"Hey pretty. What're you doing?"
"Yeah, hey… Um, I'm boiling eggs. But nothing's happening, oddly."
"Really? Let me see," and Aoi walked over, checking why nothing was happening. The problem being suddenly obvious as soon as he set eyes on the pot, he quickly turned off the stove and whacked Uruha hard on the head.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" the latter protested as Aoi's temper started to rise to the surface.
"BAKA! You want to burn the house down?! It's called BOILING an egg, and that means you'll need WATER for it, IDIOT!!"
"What do you mean I need water for it? It's called boiling an egg, so you'll only need an egg and a pot! Just like boiling water, you'll only need a pot and water!!" Uruha insisted, and Aoi's anger started to evaporate as soon as his grey eyes met Uruha's innocent and persistent mahogany ones. This kid really doesn't know how to boil a friggin egg…, Aoi realized, Where the hell has he been the past 27 years of his whole life?!
"Listen, Uruha -"
"Hey, what's with all the yelling?" Ruki asked, suddenly coming inside the kitchen with Reita following behind him.
"Uruha-baka here tried to boil eggs without filling the pot with water first," Aoi explained curtly, and the two blondes had to blank and digest Aoi's words for awhile before bursting with laughter.
"Hahahahahaha - oh my go - hahahahaha!! He what?! He tired to - huahahahahahahaha!!" Ruki tried to talk in between his laughter, choking on his own words.
"Uruha-kun, honestly, how could you - hahahahahahaha!!" and Reita just had to remember the childhood fact that Uruha had actually liked cooking but he now somehow doesn't know how to boil an egg.
It was funny really. A bit sad on Uruha's part, but he doesn't really care. Or more precisely, he doesn't even know what he did wrong and why his friends were laughing.
"Uruha, babe, just let me get one thing clear here; if anybody tells you to "boil" anything, whether it'd be water, eggs, or vegetables, it always uses water, okay? Even if Kai tells you to boil a goddamn dog or house, it always uses a pot with water in it. Get it?" Aoi explained curtly, even though he was also trying not to laugh.
"Hmm. Okay. I get it," he nodded, "Yay, I learned something new today!!" Uruha exclaimed happily like a little child. Meanwhile, Reita's laughing was starting to fade and he just smiled at his childhood friend.
It wasn't that Uruha's stupid or anything, the guy's quite smart and he's got quite a lot of funny and creative ideas, only they are rarely useful because his ideas are usually based for fun. But when you put him to think, his brain actually can manage it. It's just that Uruha's way too God-damn-it lazy and carelessly carefree and ignorant.
Ruki's laughs have died down too and the vocalist walked over to the way taller guitarist and smiled.
"Thanks for cheering this place up, Uru, but try not to endanger the house next time, will you?"
"Um… I endangered the house?"
The other three sweatdropped and fell. Uruha could be so dense sometimes…
Fun Fact : Uruha really can not boil an egg and when someone from the band taught him how to, he really did say "I learned something new today!!". He also strongly believes that there is cocaine in Coca Cola and even though the whole band had tried telling him otherwise he didn't listen. Besides, he even drinks it sometimes himself, saying that a nice shot of coke once in a while might be nice... T_T
OWARI