Disclaimer: All of this is a work of fiction. The lunatics in it do NOT belong to me. Hannibal Lecter belongs to Thomas Harris, all the rest are products of my own imagination, although some of the characters do exist, their personalities have been slightly altered.
Hannibal Lecter's face loomed in the darkness.
"Tell me, Clarice. Would you ever say to me, stop? If you loved me, you'd stop?"
A pause of breathless anticipation then came the reply. "Not in a thousand years."
"Eat the rude!!!" screamed my friend Jam, prompting hisses from the audience.
"Shhhhh!!!"
"Shut up!"
"What's your problem?!"
"Morons!"
"Crazy Kids!"
"Be quiet and enjoy the movie!"
We were in the local theatre, watching the movie Hannibal. Prior to that evening's activity, my mates and I had engaged in a heavy round of drinking, and the words tequila and vodka were most definitely involved. Nicky had snuck in even more vodka through her backpack, ingeniously disguised in mineral water bottles. We had already consumed most of our abundant supply and as a result, Jam, Nicky, Clyde, Fred, Chick, and I were unmistakably drunk.
"Aw man, she is monumentally fucked!" groaned Chick.
My teeth chattering from the freezing cold of the theatre, I could only nod my head in agreement. The audience had quieted down somewhat, and in the silence broken only by Julianne Moore's labored breathing; our voices rang loud in the cold air.
"Wha? Huh?" Clyde looked up, momentarily knocked awake from her drunken stupor.
"Ey, what's happening," she slurred.
"He's gonna fuckin' eat her!!!" Chick's boyfriend, the ever-helpful Freddy snarled the answer.
"Oh, alright." Curiosity satisfied, Clyde curled into her chair and joined Nicole, who had long since boughta ticket to dreamland.
Much much later, we staggered out of the deserted theatre in order to get our reasonably sober, but still alcohol laden asses home. We walked Clyde to her car, a 99 Lexus.
"Right. See you guys tomorrow."
"Yeah, bye Clyde, see ya," We chorused.
"Damn! That bitch starling doesn't know what a good thing she's got. I would *love* to have that man *eat* me." Nicky said, kicking a pebble across the gravel.
"Jesus, Nick. You and your dirty mind."
"Oh yeah Fred? As if you and Chicky haven't already done everything I just said and so much more!" she shot back.
"Ya, whatever."
We got to Jam's car, a silver BMW Z8, and she, Freddy, and Chick got in. "So, uh, we got an 8 a.m. class tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Bye."
They drove off into the darkness, leaving Nicole and me to stare after them for a while.
"Damnit!" she said. "I just remembered. Mr. Sifter'sstill in the hospital because of his blood pressure. Just great. Goody-goody. They're gonna send another inept moron to handle us. Poor Mr. Sifter. I suppose he just isn't up to teaching our psychology class." She smiled evilly, remembering the way she used to drive him up the wall with her crazy questions.
"Let's not forget who sent him to the hospital in the first place," I mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing Nicky. That's all right. You're probably going to get rid of the sub in five minutes, tops." I grinned. "Nuf' said. About the movie, what did youthink about the ending?"
"Gunner, since I slept through most of it, I am in no position to answer that question."
"Yeah, but you woke up just as he was about to cut his hand off."
"Well there was that, but…"
"I kinda liked the book better."
"So what? You fancy the cop and the cannibal running away to live happily ever after? Jesus that's sick. Why would he want to be with her, when there's lil' olme?"
"Nicky, there's nothing little about you," I paused, indicating her ample cleavage. "Besides, you can't help who you love. Remember Alec?" I reminded her. She used to date this absolutely gorgeous half-Danish guy. I flat lined when I first saw him.
"Oh puh-lease. The bloke was pure arm and eye candy. He hardly had any brains a'tall." Nick lapsed into her Scarlet O' Hara imitation. By this time we had reached the end of the parking lot where we had parked out cars. The theatre parking lot had been packed with the automobiles of fellow moviegoers who had come to watch Hannibal. It had taken us a good ten minutes to find space, and the fact that we were tipsy didn't do any wonders. Funny how so many people came to watch the movie and how few Lecterphiles I knew. Now, ours were the only two cars left in the lot. The lamplight cast eerie shadows on the pavement. From the trees came the call of an owl, breaking the silence, considering it was past midnight. For the moment, I felt as if Nicky and I were the only two people left on the earth. She swung her long legs over the door of her red jeep Cherokee.
"Ugh. Why the hell did my father have to take away my Porsche?" she complained. "At least you still have your bitchy car."
That was true. I loved my little black Mazda Miata. I often liked to drive around in it with the top down, dressed all in black and wearing a white fedora and blue-tinted glasses. Nick and I had both been involved in several juvenile pranks. The latest of which—a drive by egging of our chemistry teacher Mrs.Gallagher's house—had cost her her Porsche. Her father was giving it back to her after a year of good conduct. Nicky had 9 months to go. I suppose as college freshman we believed we had a right to regular shitty behavior. I sighed and got into my car.
"See ya, Nicky."
"Yeah. Bysie-bysie."
laughing like a lunatic, she drove away. I sat in the dark for a few moments, wondering who the next poor sub was gonna be. Wonder what would happen if… naw. Shaking my head, I started the engine and popped in the Gorillaz c.d., driving home to Damon Albarne going
"I ain't happy…I'm feeling glad…I got sunshine in a bag…I'm useless…but not for long…the future is coming on…is coming on…is coming on…"
I don't know how we managed to, but somehow we were able to drag our sorry behinds to class the following day. I myself was nursing a major hangover, and the bright sunshine did little to staunch the brain splitting headache I had. Nicky, Clyde, Freddy, Chick and Jam were probably doing no better. Nicky however looked perfectly coiffed as always, though swore she felt the opposite.
"I swear I feel like a goddamn ten-wheeler just smashed into me. How do I look?"
"You look like the goddamn ten-wheeler just about missed you by a mile." I replied.
"Seriously, Nick, you look great. As usual."
"So you bitches are doing no better than me, huh?"
"Mornin' Freddy." Nicole grimaced.
"Damnit Gunner, you said I looked fine!"
"You do! Stop worrying. It's not as if you're on the market for a new boy toy." I rolled my eyes, turned around, and ran smack into Clyde.
"Outta my way," she growled. "Do not you dare fucking mess with me right now." She looked fierce for a moment, and then her expression softened. "Sorry, Gunner. I got a hangover. Guess you have one too?"
"Damn right."
"That bloody sub had better be good. Or you could just run him off, Nick."
"Glad to oblige…" Nicole smiled, flashing her pearly whites.
"Class is about to start," I said. "Where are Chick and Jam, Freddy?"
"They weren't looking too good. I think maybe they're still home in bed."
"Awright."
We took our seats and I proceeded to lay my head on my folded arms, praying to God for lightning to strike me. All around, the incessant chatter of my classmates rose to a fever pitch. Sighing, I prayed to God for lightning to strike them as well.
"Ahem. Ahem!" the high-pitched voice of our dean cut through the noise of the class. "As you know, Mr.Sifter has not yet been released from the hospital," he stopped, giving Nicole an evil stare (or rather his impression of it, which made him look hilarious)
I rolled my eyes. Nicole gave him her best "Who me? But I'm a good girl" look. Good girl. Yeah right. As soon as he resumed speaking, Nicole made a motion as if to shoot herself (watch Plunkett and MacLean).
"And I believe he will be able to deal with you quite well. Everybody let us welcome Doctor Henry Fell."
With that he walked out the room. Nicole continued to make dying noises. I was stifling a giggle at her actions when in walked Hannibal Lecter.
So? What do you think? I have the next installment all done, but I ain't posting it unless you guys say sumthin'. Thanx.