Plot: Post "The Truth." She helped him run away. Now what is left for her? Has she gained anything? A Scully POV one-shot.
Rating: T for some language and sensuality.
Pairing: Ooo, it has been a while since I have written this: MSR. A hint of some DRR too.
Spoilers: The series has been over for four years. If you haven't seen them all by now, you never will. References though to "All Things" and the end of "The Truth."
Dislaimer: Apparently, Fox is a tad anal over this sort of thing. For now, I will play their game. "Not mine!" Chris Carter, you lucky duck.
Note: Yay! Back to my roots. I've been spamming the Bones board with fanfic. After watching my X files tapes, I'd say this is long overdue. Also, I am constantly amazed that grown ass people can't get their crap together. I don't know if it matters, but go and sign the petetion for the X files 2 movie. Don't let these people die in and only live inside of our minds and words. Let's see them again.
Sometimes, I have moments to sit and think about my life and where it has ended up. For the first time in my life, I have never been in more of a situation. Back not long ago, I had a job, even though I was getting into trouble for most of its duration. Now, I am left to sit and wonder where all of this is going.
It's been six months since everything took place. Mulder was aquitted of all charges agaist Knowle Rohrer. New evidence proved the body was not that of who the military claimed that he killed. Whoever exists in these dark shadows of the world literally ransacked our old office. I never thought I would see something I worked so hard on go down the way that it did.
I had watched our X files division survive through countless theives, a fire, and every other obstacle imaginable. Hell, it even survived when I wasn't around under two new agents. Part of me died the last day that I rode the elevator down to our office. I watched as Doggett and Reyes shuffled through the mess, gathering up scraps of news clippings and demolished files. I felt my heart sink as Reyes pulled the pencils down out of the ceiling. I stood and watched them pick up the pieces of my broken life.
I could have gone back. And for Mulder, I would have. Neither of our hearts were in it anymore. Not in the same way. Neither of us felt like starting over again. We had everything in our minds, which kept us going. Salvaging much else would have given them something else to destroy. The only safe place for things anymore was inside of us.
Reyes decided to transfer to a field office back home in Texas. She has made a name for herself at the San Antonio field office in the immigrant affairs division. Doggett followed her, for reasons I can only begin to imagine. The last time I saw him, his eyes held a hurt I have seen in few people. He felt like he was betraying me by not fighting. I am happy he went with Reyes. I suppose I am not the only one who latched onto someone and followed.
Not because I couldn't have made it on my own. My life went on before Mulder. It was very different though. I tried so long to deny that I felt anything for him. And it scared me when I realized I couldn't run from it anymore.
When had I fallen in love with him? I thnk it was in his hallway. The night I had decided to quit after they were to transfer me. As I let him watch me cry, I looked into him and saw that I loved him.
Things hung suspended until another night about two years later. I had been to visit Daniel, but everything had been blurred the entire time. I kept seeing something else when I was near him. It lead me to where I belonged, to him, to Mulder. It was late when I came to on his couch. Instantly, I felt so alone. Nothing in my brain worked as I let my feet hit the carpet and went to his room.
For a few moments, I stood and looked at him. The he woke, his dark eyes staring into me. Slowly, I crawled past the blankets and into his arms. No bees, no zombies, just us. In that moment, I kissed him, the way I had always wanted to. As the seconds lined up and faded into the past, I let his hands touch me in a way I had only dreamed about.
As I let out my final gasp, I knew nothing would ever be the same. Dressing after, I smoothed my hair while searching my face for regret. I was proud that I found no such thing visible. My own life was back in my hands. As I slipped out into the windy night, I decided firmly to create my own world.
Time passed again and life changed. Mulder was gone and I was on my own. I let everything stop in me and cracked and chipped into pieces each day I was alive. William came and I saw the man I had chose to love in him. He kept me from the ever present darkness. But the day came when I lost him too.
Conceiving William was never a mistake. From the first moment I felt him in me, I loved him more than anything. Each day, I am haunted by the empty spot in my life where my son belongs. But I wanted him to have a much greater and fuller life than I could have given him. If I am ever to perish, I know my son will not die because of me or for who I chose to love.
Dear God, my Mulder. My heart swells so much it aches when I think of him. For all the reasons in the world, I should not be with him. Sometimes I contemplate if we will be the silent end to one another. Fate always keeps us together though, despite everything.
Thinking about this always makes me guarded. And greedy. Quickly, I turn to my side and wrap my arms tightly around him, like if I don't hold on for dear life, he will become lost to me. I feel him stir and watch as he turns to face me. I smile as I brush my fingers through the chocolate strands of his hair. Even though he is my creator of chaos, I find solace i him at the same time. Despite our lives hanging in suspension, there is no where else I had rather be.
I see him silently question me every day with his eyes. He wonders why I don't move on. He does this to me now.
"Fox Mulder, I would follow you to the ends of the earth," I whisper in his ear.
He moves to me and captures my lips. No matter how many times he kisses me, it feels like the first. I move with him, each motion matching his own. At a point in space long ago, I would have never done this. But now as I feel his skin blaze hot trails across my own, I know this is where I belong. Life brought us together, love will hold us steadfast in our place.
I have faith that one day, I will sit in his arms as our son sits next to us. That is the day when we will all stop and watch the world go by. Maybe there's hope. After all, I believe.