**Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see the number go up every time I update. It's very motivating :)
Okay, confession time. I wanted to get a jump on this chapter immediately after posting Chapter 18, but while I was sick (feeling better by the way), I ended up reading two books (The Elite and The One in the Selection series, each in 3 hours), and a few EricTris stories. AHHH I know EricTris is kind of a betrayal, especially while I'm writing a FourTris story. And though I am a hard core FourTris shipper, I do have a guilty pleasure spot of EricTris. Partially because he's the dark one, the bad boy figure. Plus I have a supper huge thing for Jai Courtney, especially in Insurgent LOL!
Another big chapter for you darlings!
BTW, I have updated my chapter outline and it now looks like there will be around 40 chapters to this story, so we're almost half way through. And let me tell you, those last 7 chapters or so, are going to be intense! I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE FOR YOU GUYS! Hope you like it ;)
Happy reading!
And slight warning for this chapter: some trigger words, swearing and some assault.**
**Also note: This chapter was originally part of Into the Night but has been moved to Into the Night M Scenes because there was a concerned reader that this was too much for a T chapter. Read which ever one you like :) but I like this one better haha**
Tris POV - Monday, December 1st
As much as I was dreading it, dinner last night with Uriah wasn't that bad. He had a boyish charm to him, but he was certainly no boy. He was a man. Which is weird for me to say, or even to think about in my head. I've met a lot of men, some good, some bad, some in between. But to have a man that I've only recently met become a friend of mine with no interest in my profession or me in a sexual way is surprising. But it's a nice surprise. I could see myself relating to Uriah and being friends with him for a long time. As long as I'm able to look past the fact that he's a child at heart, a little inappropriate, and that he's Zeke's younger brother, who is best friends with Four.
How the Hell does Four keep finding ways into my life?
I still haven't responded to the email.
Plus I'm still curious as to what exactly happened last night that threw Zeke into a temper tantrum. Uriah looked completely calm as he went over to his brother, but we didn't stick around to see the end of it. I'm tempted to text Uriah later today and ask if everything is okay, and ask what it was about. But my better judgment kicks in, and I decide it doesn't concern me.
Christina was up really early this morning and making pancakes. She had this huge smile on her face. Her robe was slung off of one shoulder and she hummed to herself. Her bed head was what made the whole ensemble perfect.
"Thinking about Will?"
She hummed louder, and smiled wider.
"I'll take that as a yes." I smiled into my tea. It was nice to see Christina so happy. Even if a few months ago, I would have slapped her upside the head and called her crazy for even getting involved with a boy.
She slides her phone to me across the counter.
I look at the screen and see it's a message from an hour ago this morning. From Will, whose name is surrounded by hearts.
Good morning gorgeous ;)
Christina is swooning. Actually the way she moves about this kitchen reminds me of how Sleeping Beauty danced in the forest before Prince Philip cut in. It's graceful, and hard not to smile at. Partially because I know Christina is horrible at any kind of dancing except erotic and pole dancing. Also because she's normally a grump in the morning, so maybe I'm savoring the moment.
"Isn't he just amazing Tris?" She flips the pancakes.
I smile a little wider at her excited voice. "He seemed just fine to me Chris. Though I don't know if I can call him amazing."
She pouts a little.
Quickly rethinking what I just said, "I just mean that I've only just met him. He seems like a great guy though."
She smiles again. "You'll see just how wonderful he is. Now we just need to hook you and Stern-Faced-Four up and then we can really double date."
A nervous sweat breaks out on my palms. "There's no need to rush anything."
"Oh Tris, silly naïve virgin Tris." I blush, not entirely sure where she is going with this. "Just wait. He likes you. You like him. It's meant to be. I asked the universe and he told me so."
"Since when is the universe a he?"
"Since I say so. And don't change the subject." She leans over the counter, giving me a full view of her cleavage. I don't really care, I've seen her naked before and didn't bat an eye. This is just her muscle memory of an easy seduction technique. I wonder if she's used it on Will. Actually, no I don't want to think about that.
"We need to get you laid." She says placing a pancake in front of me.
My blush intensifies. When I'm Tris, not Raven, it's really easy to make me red by using words related to the bedroom.
"And I mean soon. Preferably before the end of the year."
"What?!" One month.
"Seriously Tris, you're 20 years, six months, and," she counts in her head for a brief moment. "18 days old."
"Must you be so specific?" I rest my head into my hand not wanting to talk about this.
"Yes I must. Honestly though, you must be the oldest virgin alive."
"I think you're exaggerating."
"Okay, well you're the only one of us girls who is still a virgin. I mean come on, even Lynn has had more action than you, and she's a lesbian."
"If you haven't noticed my predicament, I never had time for one before. I didn't have the will, the drive, the necessity, or even the option. No one wanted me, and I didn't want anyone back then."
She smiles wide. I realize I have just made a big mistake.
"Tris," Her eyes narrow as her grin becomes devilish. "You used the past tense."
"Christina." My voice is shaking. I've just set myself up badly.
"Is the virgin Tris Prior hinting that she now has someone, wants someone?"
"Christina don't you dare."
Her voice is calm, and it scares the shit out of me. "What's done is done Tris. I have already approved of your choice and agreed that it should happen. And now, you've admitted, to me, your best friend," she bats her eye lashes "that you, want a guy."
I put my head in my hands. Ashamed. Mortified. Anxious. Dead. Any number of emotions could describe my state right now.
A squeal escapes her. "You're not denying it! Oh this is perfect, and beautiful, and oh my God I'm so happy right now!" She waves a hand in front of her face to fan herself as her face turns slightly red as she starts hysterically laughing and practically crying. "I knew this day would come!"
I slink away quickly and quietly with my pancake to get ready. Even if I'm not that hungry.
Suddenly tired again, I slide on a dark green sweater, black leggings and a dark gray zip up hoodie. My feet find their way into my black ankle boots and I grab my bag.
Christina is in her room when I leave. Still laughing.
"One month Tris! It'll happen!" She yells as I close the door, trying not to slam it.
Susan isn't on the bus today, which I'm silently thankful for. Because now I have sex and boys and virgins on my brain. I can't help but look at every person around me and wonder if I really am the only virgin left. Even if I know it's not true. Susan is a virgin, right? I mean she's so conservative. But there was that one block party near her house I heard about, Shauna was at that party and she remembers seeing a girl of our age and Susan's description giving a boy a lap dance.
I don't want to think about that any more.
Getting to campus a little early is always on my mind. It gives me time to think over things without Christina or anyone else invading my space. In this case, I go to one of the computers labs and finish submitting my transfer request to Western Washington University. It's close to Canada, low crime rate, and near the water. Lynn has decided to apply to the University of Washington instead. And Shauna being her sister, will move to Seattle with her. We'll still be close together, but not as close. Christina, Marlene and Matthew are all going to Western with me. Matthew is applying to the graduate program.
Shauna told Tori about our plans yesterday. We all received a text late last night that Tori has agreed to it. But she's going to Seattle to pursue art. I wonder if her brother knows, or if one day he'll just find her to be gone. That's kind of how it was with Caleb and me. Only in this case, both Tori and George are adults and emotionally capable of handling this situation. Still, would she say goodbye to her only family?
The large clock in the middle of campus rings. I submit my application and head to class.
Professor Thompson is extremely tense this morning and I can't seem to figure out why. Normally if he's having a hard day, or is irritated with me for ignoring him at Dauntless he'll stare at me. But now, he completely avoids me. We break up into groups to work today, and I'm silently grateful I won't have to listen to his droning.
"You look like you had a rough morning." I glance up and see that Myra has come in to join our group.
I shrug. "I was up late last night, slept in, then had my roommate badger me about my love life this morning."
Myra snorts. "That's always fun."
"Tell me about it." I lean in and whisper so only she can hear. "She wants to get me laid by the end of the month."
Myra holds back laughter. "Well I haven't known you long, and I'm assuming she's known you longer. Either way, I wish her good luck because I feel like you're the picky type. Which isn't a bad thing by any means. Does she have someone in mind?"
I don't answer her and feel my cheeks begin to flame as she grins.
"I see." She taps her pencil as Thompson makes his second round through the groups. Looking at our progress but not speaking to anyone.
"So it's a set up matchmaker kind of deal?" She asks quietly.
"Something like that."
"What's his name?"
"Can't tell you."
She laughs. "He goes here doesn't he?"
"Sort of."
"English major?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" The heat spreads to my chest.
"Professor?"
"No."
"Would you describe him for me?"
I take in a heavy sigh. Myra was turning out to be as bad as Christina with questions and gossip. Yet I couldn't help but like their personalities. Maybe I was around them so much because I had a subconscious need to be like them. That's what Shauna would say anyway.
When class ends, Myra and I pack up. I'm still ignoring her prodding questions and she keeps asking, clearly enjoying it.
"Beatrice, would you mind hanging back a moment?"
At least five girls stop, including myself. It's an involuntary reaction to his voice. Suddenly wishing I had decided to sit closer to the exit.
I turn around and see Thompson staring down at his desk, shuffling papers.
Myra gives me an uneasy look and it doesn't help me feel any better.
"Want me to stay?" She asks quietly.
I shake my head no. I don't want her caught up in what he's probably about to confront me on. It's always the same. Why have I ignored him at Dauntless? Why don't I answer his emails? When would I like to go out? Maybe it's his birthday and he wants a complementary lap dance.
Everyone files out of the room except for Thompson and me.
I stand near the exit, with a good fifteen feet of space between us. Ready to make a break if necessary.
He looks up at me through his glasses and motions for me to come closer. I don't move.
Thompson sighs heavily. "I'm not in the mood to fight Beatrice, would you please come over here."
"I'm not fighting. But I know better than to come close to you." My voice almost startles me at how snake like it was. I feel like a dog whose neck hairs have now stood up, but is not yet growling.
He takes his glasses off and purses his lips together. He's angry. I just don't know what I did this time to offend him.
"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it at this distance."
"Are you scared of me, Beatrice?" He moves from around his desk.
My fists tighten. There's now twelve feet between us.
"No." I spit back.
Ten feet. "Because if I need you to be scared in order to listen to me, I'm willing to do it." He smiles. "Really, it'd be no trouble."
Eight feet.
"Stop." I say, my legs itching to run before he gets too close. What I wouldn't give for a camera in the room. Or even a microphone between my ever growing breasts.
"I've tried to be nice, reasonable, and give you your space. Give you time to make the decision to come to me on your own."
"You sound convinced that I actually want you."
Seven feet.
He stops and puts his hands in his pockets. "Oh, Beatrice."
"Stop saying my name."
Thompson ignores me. "Beatrice, I know you want me. With all your teasing you do, it's no wonder you're a popular dancer. As for your personal life, I've noticed things too."
My throat feels tight and I take a step back. My personal life? What is he talking about? "What does that mean?"
"You flirt with me every day. You've changed your figure into that of a real woman just for me. You show up wherever I go. It must mean you want me. There simply is no other explanation. You were in my class for a reason."
"You're delusional."
"You're a tease."
"I am not." This would sound like playful banter between two people who harbored feelings for one another had it not been for his sly, crazy smile, and my fear of him.
Five feet.
"Just because my job is to tease people, doesn't mean it's my personal way of treating people."
"And how would you treat me?"
Four feet.
"I wouldn't treat you. I wouldn't pay any attention to you. You're nothing but a low life, perverted coward."
His smile disappears.
I turn and walk towards the exit, just three feet away, when I feel a hand on my arm.
"Don't. Call. Me. That." He growls in my ear.
My pulse shoots and I know I need to get away.
"Let go of me professor. I'm late for my next class." And I have to turn in a paper.
He yanks on my arm hard and shoves me up against the wall. The railing hitting my spine. A small yelp escapes my lips. I instinctively bring my other arm up in defense, ready to punch him, and to bring my knee up to hit him where it hurts, but he presses his whole body up against mine too quickly. Pinning both my arms above my head with one hand and silencing me with his other.
Hot breath in my face, smells of coffee and orange. His eyes are dilated and his face says one word, determined.
"You've been getting away with it for far too long." He sneers in my ear. The closeness makes me shiver and want to cower. "I saw you in that dress last night. You wore it for me because you knew I'd follow you."
What?!
"I sat across the room so you wouldn't feel obligated to come over to me. You simply sat there looking radiant and so, so fuckable. I knew I needed you, and couldn't wait."
He slides his hand from my mouth just slightly in order to stroke my cheek. Thompson's eyes darken. I feel like throwing up.
"I would have done it last night, if you hadn't been flirting with that darker boy."
Uriah.
"Why do you do this to me Beatrice? Why do you always show me you want me, and then escape at the last possible second or use your magic on someone else?"
"What are you talking about?" My voice is small, his hand nears my mouth again, tracing my lips.
"I've waited long enough. Beatrice, you've made me wait long enough."
My lungs expel any air left in my lungs and my heart stops for just that one moment. "But don't worry. I know you like it rough. After all, you're a Dauntless girl, aren't you Raven?"
I bite down hard on his hand, I hear him yell, but don't double check that I've done enough damage. He moves just enough for me to squeeze by him. My feet running hard. Not fast enough.
Something hard hits my legs and I fall to the ground. My cheek colliding with the door handle.
There's laughter behind me as I try to push myself up.
"Well I was right wasn't I? You do like it hard."
I turn just as his fist collides with my temple. Sending me to the ground once more.
Fight back! Get up! Run!
My mind screams at me, but my world is spinning and my breaths come in an uneven form. It hurts.
Thompson stands over me, blood running from his hand where I bit him. I taste iron in my mouth, but I don't think it's his blood that I'm tasting.
Adrenaline rushes through me. I jump to my feet and bolt, but he blocks the door.
I get a jab into his gut and one to the neck but he pulls me to the ground with him. His hands yanking and stretching my hoodie. One hand finds it's way under my shirt and over my bra.
He smiles as he pins me underneath him.
I scream.
"Shut up you bitch." He smacks me across the face, disorienting me once more.
I try again, but he presses his mouth to mine, shoving his tongue down my throat as one hand moves under my bra and the other holds a vice grip on my neck.
I can't breathe.
His hips move and I can feel his, want, for me. He moans into my mouth. Tears escape me. His hand on my breast kneads me hard and I whimper. He takes this as a good thing and moves the hand from my chest down to the apex of my legs. He cups me hard through my leggings and digs his fingers into my hip, my thigh and even tries to finger me through two layers of fabric.
More hot breath fills my face. It's repulsive and I gag.
He moves just slightly above me, freeing one of my legs for the briefest moment. I bring my knee to his groin and shove hard.
Thompson rolls off of me, holding himself and groaning.
I run. I don't know if I'm heading to class or home, they're both in the same direction. I don't look back. Even when Thompson calls me Raven as I leave the building.
I stop by one of the bathrooms in a building near my English class. I'm alone. My legs give out and I slide against the wall, I scream, kick the stall door and cry. A howling sound comes from my chest, I can still feel his fingers one me. His dark brown eyes staring at me. Blood in my mouth. My hands rake through my hair harshly as I bite my lip to try and stop the tears. It feels like I'm drowning, even though there's no water.
I don't know how long I sit there for. But when I do move, I'm stiff, weak, and feel as though I've broken.
The mirror shows me the beginning extent of what has just happened. A large purple bruise encompassing a small cut on my cheekbone where I hit the door handle and was smacked across the face. Another beginning bruise on the opposite temple where he punched my head. My hoodie was torn at the collar, and had a nice spattering of blood. From Thompson's hand or my mouth, I'm not sure. The area between my legs throbs when I walk, and I hate myself for it. I should have been stronger. I shouldn't have let him in that close. It's my fault this happened, or at least it feels like it is.
The clock in the center of campus rings. I've missed Amar's class completely. I still need to turn in the paper. Maybe he'll still be there. He comes off as a fight your own battles kind of guy. Maybe he won't ask questions.
I throw my hood over my head as the rain begins to pour. It's not meant to help against the rain, so I'm completely soaked when I enter the building. Slowly making my way up the stairs, it hurts with every step. My head feels heavy, but I should stay awake, at least until I get to the diner. Then I can have Matthew look me over and officially file a report of injury to Max. All I have to do is tell my story to Eric. These bruises will in no way be covered up by tomorrow's dance. In fact, they'll probably be worse. I cringe at the lecture I know I'm going to get from Eric. Why wasn't I more careful? Did I provoke him? He'll say it's my fault. Peter will back him up as he always does, the little kiss ass.
The room is darker than usual, and for a moment I hope he's gone. But he's not. It looks like we watched a movie today. All the shades are drawn and the projector is still on. I'll get the notes from Christina later.
Amar doesn't notice me at first. He's leaning over the desk shuffling papers. Just like Thompson did.
A shiver runs down my spine.
"Tris?"
How I wish he wasn't really here.
Amar picks his head up, and I'm caught between the two of them.
I can hear Four stand behind me, from his own desk. I forgot he moved it behind the door.
My whole body freezes and tenses up. Though I don't know Amar personally, I'm sure he can sense it, and I know Four can.
"Tris are you okay?" His voice is softer than I've ever heard it, and it leaves a warm feeling in my gut. But that's not what I'm here for. I need to get to the Pit.
I dig through my side bag and pull out the paper. Slightly crinkled from the fight. My hand shakes as I set it on the desk.
"I'm sorry I wasn't in class today." I say quietly to Amar.
He doesn't look concerned about the paper at all. He looks concerned about me.
"Beatrice," I cringe, hearing Thompson's voice again and again in my head. Hearing him moan my name. Tears threaten once more and I bite my lip, hanging my head.
Amar noticed. "Is that your blood?" His voice is well beyond worried. I had hoped the darkening of my sweatshirt of the rain would hide it.
I turn to leave, but run right into Four. A small squeak escapes me and I jump back at the closeness of a male figure.
Four reaches up tentatively and pulls of my hood, sucking in a gasp and making a hard "instructor" type face.
Before they can say anything, I run once more.
He's calling for me. He's actually chasing me. It terrifies me even more. I run harder, tears escaping once more as it hurts to move.
Out the building the rain has continued to increase and I slip on the pavement, falling on my side, and crying out.
"Tris!" He yells. Kneeling before me, reaching for me.
"Don't touch me!" I scream before he gets too close. That hits something deep inside him. I can see the anguish in his eyes. His clothing is already soaked. He just kneels there in front of me, waiting for me to move. But I don't. I just begin to cry.
I feel crushed, defeated, and humiliated.
"For God's sake Tris," He groans and picks me up to stand on my feet. But then he lets me go. His eyes trained on my swollen lip from the fall just now, and the other visible bruises on my face.
"What happened?" He demands. "What happened?!"
"Why?! Why do you care what happened?!"
"Because I-" He stops and stares deep into my eyes. He looks pained, as though he wants to help. Suddenly I want him to just wrap his arms around me, so that I can burry myself in his chest, cry, and disappear from the world forever. He'd help me disappear.
"I care about you." He says finally.
A small, pathetic laugh escapes me. "Why? Look at me! I'm not worth caring about, I'm a mess!"
"Messes can be fixed. You just need to put someone to put in the effort."
I don't respond.
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
He groans. "Why won't you tell me?"
"Why should I?"
He glares at me. "I thought you were the one who said not to answer a question with a question."
I turn to walk away. Not in the mood to banter with him. Wincing with every step, he notices.
"You're hurt. And by the looks of it, not by falling down a flight of stairs."
"You're right Four. I fell down two flights of stairs."
He puts a hand on my shoulder. I flinch away and let out a cry once more.
"Tris tell me what happened."
"No." He's too close to me.
"Why are you running from me when I'm trying to help?"
"Because I don't trust you!" I scream. "I don't know you, I don't want to know you, I don't want to be anywhere near you! Every time I let someone into my life, everything goes from bad to worse!" I scream at him, and it burns. Cracking at the end as more tears fill my eyes.
"Nothing makes sense and all I know is that being away from you is so much easier! You're so confusing, and you made me like you and I'm not supposed to like you, so it's better if you just go!"
If feels as though a ton of bricks has hit my stomach when I realize what I just said.
He looks stunned, but his face is hard as stone.
Four looks like he wants to say something but decides against it. His fists are clenched, and so are mine. We stare at each other. Me the broken stripper, and him, the walking anomaly.
Without a word, he turns and walks away.
"Four," My voice cracks.
He stops. "I'll leave you alone then." And keeps walking.
Tears threaten me once more, this time to drown me. I run again. Towards the diner, away from Four, my confession and away from that horrible confrontation. I want to scream until my legs give out and my chest bursts open.
I practically knock the back door down where Matthew is waiting for me.
"Chris said you didn't go to class and weren't answering your phone . . . Tris?" He looks at my face. "Holy shit what happened?"
I don't answer him.
Shauna comes in and sees me. She goes into mom-mode immediately. "She's in shock. Matthew take off her clothes, she soaked. I'll get blankets."
Matthew obeys. I just stand there. Staring into nothing. My legs fail me as he's pulling down my leggings. A cry rips from my throat once more. Matthew catches me before I hit the ground, and lays me down gently.
"I'm so sorry Tris." He continues to remove my clothing.
Shauna comes back in to remove my undergarments and puts my dry work shirt on and my back-up pair of pants from my locker. She slides four or five blankets under me, around me and encasing me.
"Keep her awake, I think she has a concussion." She tells him.
By this point, the guard dog of the day, Harrison has come in to see what the commotion is about. He sees me on the ground and looks worried but doesn't say anything.
Shauna kneels beside me and begins to place a warm, wet washcloth on my face, slowly wiping away dried blood and trying to keep my already wet hair dry at the same time.
She turns back to Harrison. "She's in shock. She can't work like this. I think she needs a doctor."
Harrison stiffens at the sound of her suggestion, but in rare cases, it needs to be done. He nods. "I'll take her to get checked out. I expect full reports of this by tomorrow for Max."
"Should we call him now?" Matthew asks.
Harrison shakes his head, "I'll call him from the car. He's much less likely to fire me for telling him one of his best dancers is down than you."
Both Matthew and Shauna share a look that I would have given as well. It wouldn't be the end of the world if being "fired" by Max only meant you're out of a job.
Harrison picks me up, blankets and all, and carries me out to his car. Driving me to the hospital was a silent affair. I laid down in the back seat and stared into nothing.
He deposited me with some nurses and told them to fix me in the nicest way possible. One of the nurses recognized Harrison as a member of Max's armada and specifically took me. I don't know her name. But I know that Max has at least one nurse and doctor pair in here that will look at dancers and not breathe a word of it.
She stuck an I.V in my arm and began the drip. I was sleepy. She told me not to go to sleep, but I couldn't hold out.
The last thing I remember, was seeing Nita on her phone, the word "Four" left her lips as she looked over at me, almost concerned.
Then I was gone.
**Just as a note, Western Washington University is a real place. Please don't hate me! Haha, this was surprisingly a really easy chapter to write over the course of two days. Hope you guys enjoyed! We're really cooking things now ;)**
Please review!**