Pulling at the clothing, Richard sighed in frustration. He had been trying to get out of his costume for nearly ten minutes and he had yet figure out how the Margrave's sister had been able to have him undressed so quickly. He knelt in the dirt, pulling at the dark fabric as he thought about the previous days. He had almost lost the woman he loved. He didn't know what he was going to without her.
"Are you alright?"
He jumped to his feet at the sound of her voice and turned around. "Kahlan," he said embarrased that he was having trouble with the clothing. "Is everything all right?"
"That's what I asked you."
"Yes." He looked to the ground and took a step backwards.
Smiling, she walked towards him. "Here, let me help you."
His first thought was to shake his head, tell her that he could do it, but she was already in front of him, her hands moving swiftly over the fabric. "You knew that I needed help didn't you?"
"Not at first, but when you hadn't returned, I thought that maybe- and I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
Pushing the fabric from his shoulders, she met his eyes. "Coming after me."
"Kahlan, I'll always come after you."
"I know, I just-" she said quickly, her eyes falling to his chest as she laid her fingers on his chest, tracing over the mark of the Keeper. "Thank you."
Holding her hand to him, he used his other hand and lifted her chin. "You don't have to thank me for coming after you. I would have come even if you told me not to."
She smiled widely, "I know, but I would still thank you."
He cupped her cheeks in his hands gently, looking deeply into her eyes. "I was so afraid that I had lost you. When I saw that thing carry you away- I tried to catch you, to stop it, but I-"
"I know," she said softly, nodding her head. "I watched you for as long as I could."
His lips were upon hers in seconds, unable to keep himself away from her, the images of that night replaying in his mind. Kahlan returned his kiss without hesitaion, relishing in the thought of being in his embrace. Moving carefully, he lowered her to the ground, but didn't lay over her. Instead, he pulled her on top of him so that she didn't feel pressured and break their kiss. She let him wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly to him, tilting her head to deepen their kiss as she moved one of her legs over his. He could sense her hunger for him as she pressed herself against him, it matched his own, but he knew he couldn't push her. Lifting his leg slightly, he rubbed it against her, giving her pressure where she needed it and bringing a longing moan from deep within her.
She pulled back, breaking their kiss with a gasp as he grabbed her hips and pulled her down against him. Her eyes were dark in passion as she dug her fingernails into his shoulders. "Richard, no!" she cried out in a gasp as he lifted his knee higher.
He nearly stopped, but the pleasure he saw on her face and in her eyes wouldn't let him. Snaking a hand between her legs, he spead them wider as she rubbed herself against him. He suddenly wished that they were back in the Margrave's palace. The feel of her thigh was overwhelming as he slid his hand over her. When she reached down, he thought it was to pull his hand from her, but she didn't. Instead, she pushed her skirt out of his way, giving him easier access to her flesh. The thought alone drive him mad.
"Richard," she breathed out breathlessly, "we shouldn't do this."
He heard her words, but her actions spoke differently. Trying to decide what to do, Richard pulled her roughly against him and connected their lips, hoping to gain time to think, only to become lost in the motions. They moaned into each other's mouths, pulling at the other for more contact as they kissed passionately. His fingers of his left hand slid into her tangled hair, holding her face to his as he pushed his tongue past her lips. Their kiss heated and their bodies begged for the other, screaming their desire, their lust.
She rubbed her hands over his chest, feeding off of his warmth, his strength and his love for her. She could feel it pouring out of him and flowing through her and she couldn't help but feel safe. For an instant, she almost let go, she almost gave into her desire and her eyes snapped oppen. Pushing against him, she fell backwards onto the ground, horrified and covered her mouth with both of her hands. Shaking her head, she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out her tears. "Spirits, what did I- No- I'm so sorry."
"Kahlan," Richard said softly, sitting up and moving towards her, "you do not need to be sorry. We didn't do anything wrong."
"You don't know- you don't understand. Richard, I- I almost- Spirits, I almost let go! I almost- I almost," she was panting, gasping for air between words as she tried to tell him what she nearly did.
Pulling her into his arms, he held her tightly, ignoring her whimpers for him to release her as she pushed her hands against his chest. He didn't want her to go through this alone, he didn't want her to go through anything alone. "Kahlan, it's all right. It's all right. You didn't do anything wrong." He continued whispering into her hair as he rocked her gently in the hopes that it would comfort her.
Her tears ran down his chest as she gave in and wrapped her arms around him. She hated how comfortable she felt in his arms; how quickly her judgement fled her when he touched her. "I'm so sorry, Richard."
Tightening his hold on her, he rested his chin on the top of her head. "Kahlan, I- I didn't want to bring this up, but we- we can go back to the Margrave's palace and- I know that you- Kahlan, I don't want to have a part of you. I want all of you, but if I can make you happy, if I can give you this, I will do it with no hesitation."
Pushing away from him, she looked into his eye and saw the truth of his words. "Richard," she whispered softly, "I- I'm not strong enough to be with you once."
Wiping her tears with his thumbs he pulled her face towards his. "You will have me for the rest of my life. Kahlan, I am yours. I'm only yours."
Shaking her head, she looked down to the fallen leaves around them. "If we were to be together, I could never live knowing what it was like to be with you, when I know that I could never do it again. Not when I- Richard, i'm not stong enough."
"Come here."
She stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if she was going to do what was screaming in her mind. "Richard, I-" she paused and looked away for a moment, unsure of what she was going to do. Slowly, she unclasped her jacket and pulled it free of her body, dropping to the grass below.
He watched confused, but transfixed as she began pulling loose the laces of her corset in the back. Her eyes were locked on him, watching him carefully as continued. Just as she was about to let it fall, he grabbed her sides, holding her corset in place as he moved closer to her. "Kahlan, don't. You don't have to do this."
"I know," she said softly as she pushed him down to the ground and moved over him.
"Kahlan, don't." She could barely hear him as he stared at his hands, the only thing keeping her corset against her.
She grabbed his hands and pulled them from her, allowing the fabric as it began to fall to the ground. He looked away, instantly meeting her eyes when everything within him wanted to look at her. She continued to stare at him, waiting for his eyes to fall, waiting for him to look at her. Releasing his hands, she took in a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for what happened next. He could see the fear in her eyes, the panic and the hope, he didn't know what to do. He was afraid that if he looked, she would think differently of him, that it made it seem that was all he wanted from her, but it wasn't.
Taking hold of one of his hands, Kahlan pulled it to her, laying it on her side just beside her breast. "Richard please," she breathed out in a whisper.
Her eyes fell to her command, his hand tightening on her side as he looked upon her. The sight took the breath from his lungs, her beauty unmistakable. She grabbed his hand as he pulled it from her, returning it to her skin. She guided his hand over her her stomach, releasing it only when he moved on his own. He marvled at the softness of her skin, the fain scars and freckles that covered her. He had never seen such perfection.
Richard trailed a singer finger up, between her breasts, looking up to watch as her eyes fell closed and she parted her lips to breathe. He knew that he shouldn't, but slowly, he traced around her breast, watching as her ribs tightened with each panted breath. He didn't undertand why she was doing this, why she was allowing him to see her, to touch her. This was not the woman he knew. "Kahlan," he whispered her name softly, bringing her eyes open to look at him. "why are you doing this?"
Swallowing back all of her fear, she tilted her head and met his eyes. "This," she laid her hand over his so that he knew what she was talking about. "This is almost all I can give you." The confusion didn't leave his features as he stared up at her. "I can't give you want I want to, what you desrve, what you need." She laid her hand over his pants, his arousle more than obvious. "I want to be with you," she whispered as though it were something terrible. "Richard, what you do to me, I- I can feel it everywhere. It drives me crazy, it pushes me forward and it breaks my heart." She wiped the tears from her cheeks before she continued. "I'm in love with the one man that I cannot have."
It was then that he realized that his hand was still against her skin, still touching her in a way he had only deamed of. He pulled her down to him, flattening her chest against his as he rolled them over. Laying on his side, he laid her corset over her chest to cover her. "Kahlan, I am yours. You've had me from the moment we met. I know that it's not what you want, it's not what we want, but it's what we have and I swear to you that I will find a way to be with you. I will find a way to make love to you, to show you how much I love you. Kahlan, I will, but never feel like you have to do this for me."
"It wasn't just for you," she said ashamed. "Richard, before when we- When I almost- I didn't want to stop. If I didn't push away from you- the things I was thinking about-" He forced back his smile as she struggled to find her words. He liked seeing her this way, seeing her try to put words to what was in both of their hearts. "I wanted you to see me," she said at last. "I wanted you to touch me and now I'm not even sure it was for you."
"And now? What do you want?"
"Nothing has changed."
Nodding he slid his hand under her corset and gently cupped one of her breast. He watched her face, her eyes sliding close as she allowed herself to feel him, to trust him with her. In that moment, he began to slowly understand how much difficult this all was for her. She had always pushed back her desire for him and it seemed to be overflowing since he told her what he had done when she was split in two. He had some kind of release and she didn't. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her shoulder and began kissing everywhere he could reach.
Her fingers were instantly in his hair, holding him to her as she pushed up into him. Pulling the corset from between them, Richard covered her chest with his lips, kissing her the way he had done before when he thought he was with her. He could still remember the way her skin tasted, the softness of her moans and the way she pulled at his hair. He had all of these memories that kept him sane and she had none. That was going to change.
All reason seemed to flood back to her as he devoured her with his hands and lips. Opening her eyes, she pulled his head from her chest, cupping his cheeks in her hands as he looked into her eyes. "We can't do this."
"I know, but I-" He started to roll of of her, but she stopped him. "Kahlan, I"
"Just because we can't do that doesn't mean that we can't just lay here, does it?"
Richard smiled down at her and fell to his side, rolling her with him. "I promise, Kahlan."
"I know." Pulling herself closer to him, Kahlan closed her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered into his skin, "I shouldn't have-"
"I'm glad that you did." He surprised himself by his own answer, a smile coming to his mouth as he replayed what she had just done. "It's- Kahlan, what you did, I'm glad that you did it. I glad that for a few minutes, I was able to show you how beautiful you are- how much that I love you." Tightening his hold around her, tried to use his body to block hers, not wanting anyone who may pass by to see her half naked. "Kahlan," he said after a few quiet, content moments, "maybe you should get dressed. If I keep holding you like this, I don't see us moving from this spot until you are pulled out of my arms."
She smiled for a second before she lifted away from him. Suddenly feeling self concious, she folded her arms over her chest and turned away from him, embarrassed to have done what she did. Her back straightened as he laid his hand against it, the feel of his skin against her made her weak, she wanted to pull away. Sensing her thoughts, Richard sat up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to his chest. His mouth was against her ear, warming it with his breath as he sent shivers through her body. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to the palace?" He meant to say it teasingly, but half way through the sentance, he realized he meant it.
"I'm not sure about anything."
"We can go back right now."
Shaking her head, Kahlan leaned forward and reached for her corset. "No we can't," she said softly, looking over her shoulder at him. "Will you help me?"
Richard grinned widely, "Of course." He took his time, lacing her corset slowly, taking a few extra moments to appreciate the visable skin.
Turning around, she met his eyes, "We can't mention-"
"I know, but if we- Tonight, let me-" he sighed, hoping that she would allow him what he was about to ask. "Let me hold you?" The look on her face made him laugh, "You don't have to take anything off and we can wait until they fall asleep. I'm just going to hold you. That's it."
"That's enough."
***END***