The wedding was finally over. It had been very beautiful, very flowery, very...Alice. The cake had been cut, the dances had been danced, the bouquet tossed, the rice thrown. Edward and I were finally alone in the honeymoon suite of our hotel room in Seattle before our flight out to destination unknown (unknown to me, at least) in the morning.
I stepped out of the bathroom, carrying my toiletry bag, dressed in a lacy, silky ivory creation that revealed more than it covered (thanks, Alice). The lights in the room were dimmed and there were rose petals creating a trail that led to the enormous bed...and the marble god stretched out languidly on top.
Edward was wearing a pair of black silk pajama bottoms, contrasting with his alabaster skin. His golden eyes were half-closed as they gave me a smoldering, sensual 'come hither' look.
My breath caught and I forgot to breathe for a moment. I dropped my toiletry bag on the floor and walked slowly to the bed, my heart beating erratically as I slid onto the luxurious bedspread and into Edward's icy embrace.
He simply feasted his eyes upon me for a moment, raking his gaze down my body, then back up to my face. I wrapped my arms around his cold shoulders and our lips met. Kissing him with unbridled passion, I threw myself into his lap and felt something large, hard and cold press against my thigh.
I stopped kissing him.
Edward opened his eyes in surprise after I ceased my assault on him.
"Bella, love...is everything okay?"
I carefully slid out of his lap and moved to the center of the bed, where I sat with my knees tucked underneath me.
"Bella...?" A note of alarm colored his velvet voice.
"Um...Edward..." I looked to the side. "You said that all the blood left in a newborn is used up about a year or so, right?"
"...yes..." Confusion crept into his voice.
"And you've been a vampire for ninety years, right?"
"...yes...Bella, what..?"
"So you have no blood left, right?"
"Right. Bella, what is this all about?" His voice sounded anxious now, as he pressed the back of his hand against my forehead, clearly checking for fever.
"Um...if you have no blood in you, then how..." I blushed. Edward lifted my chin and stared at my face, wondering if I had lost my marbles. I took a deep breath and stared directly into his eyes.
"...how is it possible for you to have an erection?"
Edward's hands fell from my face and his jaw dropped. He became perfectly still and statue-like. I stared at him, feeling my skin positively boiling. Suddenly he started vibrating, faster and faster, until he simply exploded.
I gasped, staring in shock at the marble shards scattered throughout the room like so many rose petals. Why did that happen? Was it that strange of a question? I gasped again, noticing the marble shards starting to move of their own volition towards each other, connecting up like some sort of bizarre stone-like play-doh. Leaning back against the bed, I sighed and decided to wait to see if Edward could completely pull himself back together before calling Carlisle.
Maybe he would know how it was possible.