The Adventures of Master Kaku and Blessed Bell
A Touhou Project Fanfic by Achariyth
The Adventures of Master Kaku and Blessed Bell follows All's Fair in Love and Thievery and "A Book for Her Pillow".
Disclaimer: Touhou Project belongs to ZUN.
Chapter 1: The Mountain Sage
"The Way that can be spoken of is not the real Way." – The Classic of the Way and Power, by the Old Master
As the morning sun baked the dirt of Youkai Mountain's crossroads into shingled clay, Meiling tugged at the neckline of her blouse and bade mercy goodbye. She committed the mortal sin of a sentry, leaving her post at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, to come to the crossroads. Not even black snake root and thirty pieces of silver had called up the devil's kith to haggle for the price of a boon.
Heaven and hell moved from their courses at a human's call. A youkai, however, was always on her own.
The guardswoman ripped open the top three laces of her green vest. As a slight breeze wicked the sweat from her skin, Meiling shuffled towards a solitary pine tree. Underneath its scant shade, she sat down and wound her scarlet tresses into a tight bun. She choked down a mouthful of warm water from a metal canteen. Meiling closed her eyes and basked in the relief.
"'The birds have vanished in the sky, and now the last cloud drains away. We sit together, the mountain and I, until only the mountain remains.'" Meiling Hong recited the words of the Immortal Poet, Li Po, and looked skyward to the volcano's summit. She shielded her eyes from the unrelenting glare.
The wind died away. With a sigh, Meiling stretched her legs and swayed to her feet. The youkai drifted across the arid crossroads to a post sprouting arrow signs like needles on a pine. Each sign pointed to a destination, straight as the tengu flew, from the Myouren Temple, to the Human Village, and the Moriya hamlet. A fairy had even pointed an arrow straight down to Hell. Hidden amid the signs, a thin red arrow pointed west-northwest to an unnamed mountain sage's home.
Singing to herself, Meiling followed the red sign down the road. When Meiling was still a child in the village of Chen, her mother had taught her to seek sages' wisdom whenever peasant cunning could not solve her problem. If anyone knew how to cure six lifeless fairy maids, the sage of Youkai Mountain would. Perhaps Remilia Scarlet would then forgive Meiling's absence.
The trail leveled off and branched at the foot of a granite boulder. One path led to the summit, and the second, to a forested valley. A sign on the face of the boulder pointed towards the sage's home; its arrow spun in circles like a weathervane in a windstorm.
Meiling closed her eyes and traced her fingers over the smooth sign. She suspected fairylight pranks, from the way looking at the sign made her eyes water. "I'm trying to help your sisters."
The arrow still spun.
She held her breath and waited. The wind bore no whispers or hushed giggles as it blew past, only the occasional chirp from nearby birds. She even circled the boulder twice, once from each direction, but saw no glimpse of shimmering fairy wings or rustling bushes. Either the fairies were uncharacteristically devious, or the spinning sign was some other mage's handiwork. But her absence from the Scarlet Devil Mansion must have been discovered by now, so she left the mystery to others.
Meiling brushed her hands through the road dust and clapped her hands. After testing her grip on the rock face, she hauled herself up the fissure. The guardswoman stood atop the boulder and shielded her eyes from the sun. Out in the valley, a shingled courtyard house poked out of its forest shroud. Even if the sage lived elsewhere, perhaps the occupants could point Meiling in the right direction. Up on the mountain, however, she saw only forest switchbacks and striated cliffs pockmarked by the wind.
Her course set, Meiling knelt by the fissure and lowered herself over the side. As her foot caught hold of a narrow outcrop, the guardswoman looked up at the mountain once more and gasped. One of the pockmarks was a perfect block arch planed into the cliff face, a sight she had last seen in her homeland of China. She climbed down the crack and set off toward the summit.
Calling a stone yaodong home a cave dwelling glossed over the difference between a cave and a proper home carved into the rock. Each blow that chiseled out a yaodong was chosen for harmony with the five elements, for consideration of the flows of qi, and for the comfort and protection of its family. In her travels through China's northern provinces, Meiling had seen entire hills terraced with the homes until the earthen rises resembled step pyramids. She longed to explore the hillside homes, but she had never stopped as her caravans rolled past. A guard never left her post.
Well, almost never.
Meiling pushed her way through the red doors of the stone arch. "May Heaven's blessing shower upon us all."
She entered the dim chamber illuminated only by two candles on either side of a lotus flower lamp. As her cheeks burned, Meiling backed out underneath the lintel and slid her feet out of her shoes. A cave house within Youkai Mountain made a powerful holy place to the Taoist god enshrined within. She could not afford to carelessly provoke divine displeasure.
"Compassion to all." Meiling clasped her hands together and bowed to the altar. She reentered the shrine room and sought the image of the god she needed to appease. No icon sat behind the sacred lotus lamp. The yaodong's altar venerated the Tao alone.
With a sigh of relief, Meiling propped the red doors open. Completing the altar on her left stood three cups and two sets of five dishes representing yin, yang, and the five elements. On her right, a single red shelf held three tarnished coins atop a dog-eared copy of the Classic of Change, a divination manual. The temptation to cast the coins welled within her. She had left her post, for which she would face consequences. Perhaps the coins might tell her what those might be. However, Meiling had never mastered divination. Perhaps she could impress upon the home owner for a reading.
She searched the walls for the displayed diploma that should be present in a Chinese sage's home. Surely a sage would have proof of his wisdom, displayed at a young age at the mandarin examinations for philosophy. But no gold or silver certificate graced the wall. At best, a lesser ascetic lived in the shrine.
The guardswoman drifted back to the altar. The fruit and rice offerings set before the lotus lamp were still fresh. The shrine's attendant had to be near, perhaps in another yaodong close by. With a final bow, Meiling left the shrine room. Sitting beneath the stone lintel, she fussed with the buckles of her shoes.
"'Heaven and earth are my roof and walls, and the rooms of my house are my clothes,'" a woman proclaimed.
Meiling pivoted around. In the center of the yaodong's chamber, a Chinese woman in a teal dress and a white vest glowered at her. Unlike the expected crone, the woman instead reminded Meiling of an indignant younger cousin.
"'Why are you in my pants?'" the slight woman demanded. She staggered backwards as Meiling threw her arms around her neck.
-My surname is Hong, and my personal name is Meiling, but everyone in my home village calls me Blessed Bell, or just Bell for short.- Meiling followed her hostess through a hole in the shrine room's granite wall into a sparse dining room. The Chinese youkai watched the hermit puzzle over her accent. With precise enunciation, Meiling repeated her introduction in Cantonese.
The sage ushered her guest towards the seat of honor at a red lacquered table. -My surname is Wu, my given name in Qing'e, and there is a slight flaw in my character.- She spoke in a clipped version of scholarly Middle Chinese that sounded odd yet regal to Meiling's ear. "Perhaps we should stick to Japanese."
Shrugging, Meiling accepted a cup of green tea. "I can prattle away in seven languages." She smiled as she took a sip. "Even in English," she said in that strange tongue.
"I figured as much." Master Wu laughed and sat at the head of the dining table. Nursing her own cup of tea, she smiled. "I am Seiga Kaku in this land. Do they call you Misuzu Kurenai?"
"I have never needed to translate my name into another language, no matter where I have traveled." Meiling beamed as she spoke. Remilia forbade it, as any trace of the exotic made it easier to draw in the vampiress's prey.
"Then you must let me call you Bell." Master Kaku set aside her cup and fiddled with a hairpin. "So, why did you seek me out?"
Meiling nodded, set her cup down, and drew in a deep breath. "The harmony of Nature is disrupted."
"That can't be the true reason. You didn't know that I was a Taoist until you found my altar." Master Kaku tapped the hairpin against her lips. "Why didn't you seek a shrinemaiden?"
Meiling hid her grimace behind a sip of tea. "They only care when humans are affected."
"So it's a youkai matter." Master Kaku fished out six coins from a belt purse. She cast the coins onto a platter, and, upon examination, pursed her lips. "No matter how you try to fix things yourself, the shrinemaidens will be involved in the end."
"Over six comatose fairies?" Meiling balled her fists and shook her head. "I'm trying to save them, not seal them away."
The mountain sage held up her hand and threw the coins again. Frowning, she stood and reached towards a nearby shelf for a volume of the Classic of Change. Her eyes flashed as she consulted the ancient wisdom. The two coin throws each made a trigram, and the two trigrams formed a hexagram corresponding to a specific fortune in the Classic of Change. Sighing, Master Kaku clapped the book shut and plucked the coins from the tabletop. "Please start from the beginning."
Meiling poured forth her worries, starting with the six stricken fairies resting in Remilia's sitting room. By the time she admitted to abandoning her duties, Master Kaku's eyes had glazed over. The guardswoman stammered and blushed as the Azurine Hermit fell from her chair. "Forgive me, but I rarely have the opportunity to speak freely."
"You're not the first to unburden her soul to me." Master Kaku rubbed her hip before she swayed to her feet. "As for the fairies, has anyone moved them a step further along in their cycle of rebirth?" She dragged a finger across her throat.
Meiling stared at her hostess, aghast. "Of course not. They're practically children."
"They are still youkai. Most doctors won't waste medicine on a sick fairy, not when rebirth erases so many hurts."
"I wish they would." Meiling slapped her hands against the table and jumped to her feet. "I'm a youkai; I don't want to feel the cold kiss of steel when I'm hurt. What if I don't come back? What if they don't come back?"
"A wise choice." Master Kaku bade Meiling to sit back down. "They might not have the strength to return."
Meiling sat down, a grimace marring her lips. Patchouli had made the same warning when Sakuya's knives first came out. "Will you help them?"
Master Kaku cast the coins one last time and watched them spin to a stop. Nodding, she scooped up the coins and stood. "My assistant will mind the altar in my absence."
Meiling bowed her head. "Thank you."
The Azurine Hermit drifted over to an end table. Trading the coins for a flask, she daubed the essential oil within on her arms. She returned to the table with an inkstone and paper in hand. "I must, however, leave detailed instructions before we leave."
As the noon sun passed behind a cloud, Meiling threw open the doors of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She froze, a gasp escaping her lips. With every blink of her eyes, the hallways changed, dividing and combining in a dizzying show of magic. Meiling closed her eyes and steadied herself against the doorway.
Even during the best of times, navigating through the shifting halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion proved to be a test. Corridors shrunk, lengthened, and even vanished as Sakuya Izayoi's attention to her abilities over time and space wavered. Yet with enough time, Meiling could usually manage to find her way through the mansion. Now, the guardswoman wondered if she needed a compass and a ball of thread.
"I am unsure if this is marvelous or diabolical." Master Kaku clung to Meiling's shoulders.
With her eyes still clenched shut, the guardswoman drew herself to her full height. "Sakuya!"
"Where were you?" a dulcet voice answered.
Meiling opened her eyes. A silver-haired maid in wilted lace stood in the center of the foyer. Around her, the hallways remained fixed, as did Sakuya's placid mask of elegance. Meiling waited for a message relayed from the maid's master. "I brought help."
Master Kaku stepped out of Meiling's shadow. "My surname is Kaku, my personal name is Seiga, and there is a slight flaw in my character." She slapped a hairpin as thick as a chisel against her palm like a closed fan.
Sakuya curtsied, greeting her guest with a strained smile. "Welcome to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I hope your remedies are better than your sermons."
Master Kaku tapped the point of her hairpin to her lips. "I almost convinced you to follow the Way."
"Indeed." Behind Sakuya, the hallway creaked. "Again, may your cures prove to be more potent than your words. Oh, and Meiling, please let me know before you leave the mansion next time."
Meiling drew in a deep breath. "I did not quit my post." Her words rang hollow in her ears.
"I didn't say you did. But if you ended up like those poor fairies and we couldn't find you, the Mistress-" For once, Sakuya's perfect grace faltered. A new doorway appeared in the foyer and vanished a moment later. "Mistress Remilia will be pleased to see you. Or as pleased as anyone can be in these circumstances."
"What might those be?" Master Seiga asked.
Sakuya flashed Meiling a longsuffering glare. She beckoned for her guests to follow her into the corridor maze. "Didn't Meiling tell you?"
Meiling chased after Sakuya. "Did you want me to cloud Master Kaku's wisdom with my ignorance?"
"'The Way that can be spoken of is not the real Way.' So while I appreciate the gesture, let there be no more secrets between us." Master Kaku threw her arms around Sakuya's shoulders. "Bell is an open book, but you? Your secrets have secrets. I like you."
Sakuya shrugged out of Master Kaku's grasp and vanished, reappearing three meters in front of Meiling. "Be careful what you touch. Patchouli ordered for silver to be strung throughout the mansion."
"It's too early to be in mourning-" Master Kaku began.
The maid held up a hand adorned with gleaming rings and mirror-polished bracelets. "Silver also wards off evil."
"Does it work?" Meiling asked.
"Have you seen the Mistress around?" Sakuya coughed and assumed her placid elegance once more. She vanished again, this time appearing in front of a set of tall double doors.
The doors opened into a vast library, where towering bookshelves wound around a central reading enclave like the hedges of an ancient maze. Compared to the corridors outside, which had resumed their constant motion, the path to the center was straightforward, yet Sakuya still led them through the perfumed paths. A silk-winged fairy maid with ruby lips and her blond hair tied in a bun slipped out from the shelves, sweeping behind them.
"The fairies are resting in another room," Sakuya led them through a set of shelves devoted to love poetry from around the world. "But Patchouli is researching a cure in here."
Nine tables filled the enclave, arrayed in a square. A tangled hedge of glass alembics, rubber piping, and metal rods ringed the outer desks, filled with eye searing flame, hissing steam, and a pungent cloud of sulfur and perfume. Open books covered every square centimeter of the one table not given over to the alchemist's art. A young woman in a lavender sundress flittered between books like a frustrated bee, tugging at her hair in frustration. Meiling was surprised, Patchouli Knowledge rarely wore anything other than heavy cotton pajamas.
"…everything in its place and a place for everything." Patchouli spun in a circle before she flopped into a nearby chair. "Not only must I contend with a five hundred year old system of the world, I must find a place in the Great Chain of Being for creatures unknown to Aristotle using only earth, air, water, and fire." The librarian massaged her temples and stared up at the sunlight in the ceiling.
Meiling spun around, searching for Sakuya, but the head maid vanished as soon as Patchouli's rant turned towards philosophy. Unfortunately, she lacked the decency to take the guardswoman with her. As Patchouli caught her breath, Meiling ducked underneath the center table and shuddered in her sanctuary.
Master Kaku dragged a chair away from the alchemical maze, spilling thin tomes of manga in her wake. At the first thump against the floor, the fairy maid dropped her broom and scurried over. After brushing the seat, Master Kaku reclined in the chair. "Why have you departed from the established Way?"
After a coughing fit, Patchouli found her voice. "Because the wu xing chrysopoeia of five elements doesn't match what I am seeing."
Sliding out from under the table, Meiling reached for the nearest volume of manga on the floor. The blond fairy maid stooped for the book, but pulled away as her hand brushed against Meiling's. The guardswoman put a finger to her lips and waved the fairy away. With the manga volume in hand, Meiling crept back into her hiding place.
Master Kaku slid her chair next to Patchouli's but did not sit down. "How can anyone describe the world with just four elements?"
"To begin, earth, water, air, and fire still oppose and change into each other, just like in the classics of Taoist alchemy." Patchouli stabbed her finger against an open tome. "However, the Elizabethan alchemists half a world away added balance to our traditional framework.
"Every object and being in the universe has its own perfect ratio of the four elements. As long as the elements are balanced to match this ideal, there is longevity, health, and strength. To disrupt this balance is to cause disease, yet shifting the ratio also allows an alchemist to transmute the nature of a substance, such as lead into gold. Fortunately, an excess of any particular element can be diagnosed by a unique set of symptoms.
"Additionally, there is hierarchy. First earth, then water, air, and fire at the top. But at the perfect moment of balance, one might also find light, which is treated in the system as a divine fire. The Chain of Being echoes this relationship, with humans, youkai, devils, angels, and gods following the ranks of the elements. The world is ordered, with everything in its place, and a place for everything."
Meiling leafed through the manga and wished for earplugs. As a guardswoman, however, she still kept an ear on her surroundings. At least she could distract herself with the tawdry "secrets of the earth spider" tabloid tale, unlike the poor fairy stranded in the middle of the lecture, overloaded with books.
"That lacks the elegant paradoxes of the Way." Master Kaku said. "Why did you embrace this system of the world?"
"Unlike wu xing alchemy, it fits the events. I have six unconscious fairies, creatures of fire, in a state of torpor, which signifies a significant excess of water." Patchouli paced a circuit around the central table. "What I don't know is what caused that imbalance."
"Or a cure." Master Kaku drifted over to the far side of the library's glassware maze and stared into an unheated crucible filled with quicksilver liquid. "You should stay away from cinnabar experiments. Mercury never does anyone any good."
Patchouli spun around. "But alchemy-"
"-isn't why I've lived for 1500 years in the full bloom of beauty. And, from the pallor of your skin, you need to take a kernel of sulfur with a spoonful of honey every day. That is, if you don't want the mercury tremors." Master Kaku jerked like a puppet pulled into an awkward jig. She examined the librarian through slitted eyes. "However, it might be too late."
As the air chilled between the rival alchemists, Meiling closed her book and poked her head out from under the table.
"What did you say your discipline was?" Patchouli walked around the ring of alchemical distilleries and snuffed out the gas burners. Without waiting for a command, the blond fairy maid extinguished the burners within her reach.
"Taoist philosophy." Master Kaku ran her hand along a test tube rack filled with stoppered vials of a honey elixir.
Patchouli's lips twisted into a sneer. "We're shorthanded, so we cannot spare a servant with wine and a shovel to follow you around. You'll need to bury yourself if you die."
Meiling leapt to her feet, slamming into the table with a rattle of glass. Rubbing the knot on her head, she stepped out of her hiding place. "Patchouli-" she scolded.
Master Kaku held up a hand. "'Those who speak do not know.' Although I am pleased that your studies do not lack in the classics." She slipped her hand into a vest pocket. "The writings of the Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove is an odd choice, unless you're one of those girls who would rather read about passion than experience it."
Patchouli glowed scarlet as she flung test tubes into a drying oven. "Didn't you flee from your marriage bed?" She slammed the metal door and whirled around, facing Master Kaku with a spellcard in her hand. "Yet you dare call me frigid."
The Azurine Hermit pulled her chisel-point hairpin free from her coiffure. "You should spend more of your time out of the library. A little experience will teach you not to trust everything you read."
The spellcard glowed in Patchouli's hand. "Oh, then your husband left you? Was it for another woman or to rid himself of a shrew?"
Surging forward Meiling grabbed hold of the librarian's wrist and jerked it overhead. The activated spellcard fell from Patchouli's hand, fizzling into a spray of golden dodecahedral crystals. "Master Kaku's our guest!"
"Your guest, not mine." Patchouli ripped her arm free from Meiling's grasp. Rubbing her wrist, she turned on the guardswoman. "I thought you of all people would have trusted me to find a cure."
"I do." Meiling remained between the alchemist and the sage.
"Yet you searched out another alchemist." Patchouli's voice dropped into a chill whisper as her eyes bored into Meiling's.
A veteran of countless staredowns around the world, Meiling held her ground. "The rules of hospitality forbid unprovoked spellcard attacks."
"She started it." Patchouli planted her hand on her hip and glared past Meiling at Master Kaku.
"That doesn't justify using your Philosopher's Stone on her."
A glimmer at the edge of Meiling's vision caught her attention. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Master Kaku hold a golden crystal up to the light. The sage turned the crystal in her hand and watched the light play upon the facets. Meiling shook her head; Patchouli's spent danmaku might shine like gold, but it was worth less than pyrite.
Master Kaku bowed. "My apologies, Master Alchemist. I misspoke earlier. Your devotion to your studies has not been misplaced." As she stood, her fingers brushed against her vest.
Patchouli preened at the praise. "It's a work in process. The purity still isn't where it should be."
"I wondered why you still sought a cure since you have the reagents for the Elixir of Life." Master Kaku watched as the fairy maid swept up the last of the Philosopher's Stone crystals. "Alas, your experiment isn't the only thing that lacks virtue here."
Patchouli glowed scarlet, but, after one glance at Meiling, she bit her tongue and counted until the color drained away. "Follow me. Let's see if you can do better."
For once, it was not Patchouli's grousing that set Meiling's teeth on edge as the librarian led her, Master Kaku, and the fairy with spider silk wings through the mansion's halls. Instead, an electric charge had settled on the guardswoman's skin like a constant itch, and the further she walked along the wainscoted corridor, the more pressing grew the need to scratch furrows into her arms.
The guardswoman methodically scanned the hallway, near to far and left to right. Unlike the rest of the mansion's walkways, the walls stood motionless, lined with silver rounds tacking Sakuya's shifting hold over time and space into place. Atop the molded paneling sat silver coins, spaced half a meter apart and paired between the two walls. Meiling recognized the silver as Spanish eight real coins – the famous "pieces of eight" – taken from the mansion's vaults. A glint above her caught her eye. Another set of coins was tacked to the ceiling, one near each corner, completing an arch of silver reales repeated throughout the hall.
For a moment, Meiling wondered if the electric ripple across her skin was due to the improvised ward against evil or the realization that keeping the unsecured riches safe was now her duty. She glanced over at Patchouli and Master Kaku, who both passed through the hall unaffected.
"Meiling!"
Gritting her teeth, the guardswoman froze. Searching out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a nook breaking the pattern of the coins. Inside, a cat-eyed doll in pink uncurled from a rocking chair and glided towards her.
"You know better than to leave without permission." Remilia's bat wings spread wide like a billowing black cloak. The child vampire perked up, flashing her fangs. "But you did bring me a snack. I've been a mite peckish since helping Sakuya, so let's not wait." She grabbed ahold of Master Kaku's hand, baring the woman's slender wrist.
The mountain hermit shuddered and turned her head away.
"Now, don't you worry. This won't hurt you a bit, and after a quick pint, Sakuya will have a cushion and a glass of orange juice waiting for you." Raising Master Kaku's wrist to her lips, Remilia opened her mouth wide. The tips of the vampiress's fangs pressed against the sage's skin. Hissing, Remilia recoiled away from the hermit and leapt into Meiling's arms. "Lemon and garlic. That's not fair," she wailed, huddling against her guard.
Laughing, Master Kaku doubled over and rubbed her wrist. "I've dealt with beings like you before."
Remilia rubbed her lips. "I'm a European vampire. Save for my sister, there are no other beings like me in Japan."
"How unfortunate for me, then. Most blood drinkers in Japan would consider a splash of lemon and garlic to be marinade, not repellent."
Remilia squirmed in Meiling's arms until she stared into the guardswoman's eyes. "I've decided that I'm still mad at you."
Meiling lowered her eyes. "I-" An actinic flash and a shrill shriek cut her off.
Wide-eyed and sucking on her finger, the blond fairy maid trembled in the middle of the hall. She pointed to a wisp of smoke rising from a piece of eight. Its glimmer dulled, leaving a vivid rainbow patina.
"Careful now. Look but don't touch," Remilia chided over her shoulder. Despite the vampiress's confident air, she still drew her wings closer to her body.
Meiling rushed over to the newly tarnished coin and spread her arms wide. "Enchanted silver?"
Patchouli tried to push her way past Meiling. "Now you know why Sakuya set these coins along the wall instead of Koakuma. Even dross holds power."
"So that is normal?" the maid asked from within Meiling's shadow.
"As much as anything is around here." Remilia slipped out of Meiling's arms and skipped ahead of the group. She beckoned for them to follow.
Meiling waited for the maid and Patchouli to leave the rainbow tarnished coin. "Master Kaku?"
The Azurine Hermit stood in front of a sparkling silver real and pressed her finger against the coin. The real still gleamed in the light. Master Kaku tapped her hairpin against her lips and stared at the maid. "But there is a slight flaw in my character."
"Master Kaku, please, you don't want to be left behind."
The Azurine Hermit pulled her gaze away from the blond fairy. "Forgive me my distraction." She lifted her finger from the polished real and set off with Meiling after the vampiress.
They caught up to Remilia and Patchouli just after Remilia's still rocking chair. Continuing down the hall, the five women passed under a silver wire dreamcatcher hung from the ceiling like a web. While the maid cooed at the handiwork overhead, they pushed their way into a standing wall of heat. Ignoring the rivulet of sweat in her eye, Meiling loosened the laces of her vest and rolled up her sleeves. Patchouli's sudden fondness for sundresses now made sense. Alas, a guard must always remain in uniform.
"So you're trying to sweat out the excess water. Why not use a diuretic instead?" Unlike Meiling, Master Kaku had not wilted in the oven. The Azurine Hermit waved a paper fan. Meiling eased closer, until the fan took the edge off the swelter.
"We've managed to get them to swallow a hibiscus tisane sweetened with honey." Patchouli slid the silver web away from the doorframe. "The dry heat is to restore their fire."
"Did you have to turn half the mansion into a furnace?" Remilia's wings wilted, but the vampiress marched on. "Flandre's complaining, although not so as much as when Meiling went missing."
"I'm sorry." Meiling bowed, swaying as she fought off a swoon. "I went for help."
Remilia walked on, unmindful of Meiling's words.
Like a picture-perfect copy of her silent sisters sleeping in the parlor room around her, the fairy maid rested atop a mountain of cushions, wrapped in her moonlight wings. For a moment, Meiling thought the sleeping girl was a lace-wrapped doll cast in porcelain, with her ruby lips, alabaster skin, and jet princess-cut hair, but the rise and fall of the fairy's chest belied the illusion.
Bowing her head, Master Kaku knelt next to the fairy. "A perfect little fairy from the Palace of the Moon."
"I think Diao Chan was older when she earned that praise." Meiling lifted a silk sheet from the foot of the cushions and tucked the fairy into her bed. The guardswoman flashed a reassuring smile at the worried maids crowded around the open parlor door.
"Who?"
"The songstress who set Lu Bu and Dong Zhou against each other. From The Romance of the Three Kingdoms? Our version of Kaguya?" Meiling's face fell as Master Kaku shook her head.
"Surely any true Chinese sage would recognize the name of one of the Four Beauties." Patchouli knelt behind a potbelly stove and, protected by thick canvas gloves, the librarian shoved firewood into the cast iron firepot. Her words dripped with cloying venom. "But I am not surprised you don't recognize her. They used to forbid the treacherous from reading The Romance of the Three Kingdoms lest the book give them ideas."
Master Kaku shrugged. "I'm still catching up on the teachings of the Celestial Masters that were published while I slept."
"So you're not a real sage?" Patchouli slammed the stove's feed door and wiped her brow. Bright yellow flame danced between the slats in the stove, and every crackle of burning wood drove the temperature higher.
Meiling closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. But before she could speak, Sakuya appeared in the center of the room. "Take it outside, you two. Berry and her sisters need their rest," said the Head Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
"I just wanted to be sure of her credentials," Patchouli simpered. She gestured towards the sickbeds. "May I treat my patients now?"
Master Kaku closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Compassion to all." She held out her hand in invocation.
"Fine. Remember, their hospice is my charge." As Sakuya's mask of serenity faltered, her image flickered. Her perfect elegance remained unmarred as she reappeared, holding a tea tray in her hands. The air filled with the bouquet of floral potpourri. "So if you continue to fight like Kaguya and Mokou, I will cool your heads in the Misty Lake."
Patchouli rolled her eyes. She took her station by a nightstand covered in brown glass bottles. Consulting a notebook, she poured powders from three bottles into a pestle. Patchouli ground the powders together with a mortar, compounding the master alchemist's latest medicine.
Meiling propped pillows underneath Berry's head. "I apologize, Master Kaku, I don't know what's gotten into Patchouli."
"'The words of the wise are as goads, driven by one shepherd.''" Master Kaku pressed two fingers against her patient's neck and counted. She shook her head and whispered, "So weak."
"Which master said that?"
The Azurine Hermit held up her hand and completed her count. Sitting back on her heels, she turned toward Meiling. "I overheard a Nestorian say it before I was sealed inside the mountain."
With a growing murmur, the crowd of fairy maids at the door parted. Remilia bobbed her way into the parlor, carrying a swaying stack of linen in her arms.
"Young Mistress, you must allow me to do my job." Sakuya cast a moue as she dribbled a spoonful of tea into a fairy's mouth.
Unaffected by the swelter, Remilia shrugged and dropped the linen sheets on the floor. "I want to help."
While Sakuya scolded her mistress about the proper forms of polite society, Meiling made her rounds through the room, propping up the fairies in their beds. Master Kaku stayed by Berry's side and checked the fairy maid's vital signs. All the while, the low grinding from Patchouli's mortar and pestle continued.
"How long have they been like this?" the sage asked.
"I found them passed out on the floor early this morning." Sakuya patted a fallen fairy's face with a hand towel.
"Has anyone else fallen sick?" Master Kaku placed her wrist on Berry's forehead.
Sakuya cast a glance towards the door. A sunflower fairy in a ruffled apron shook her head.
"It's not a plague." Remilia tapped her nose before baring her fangs. "I'd smell it on their breath if it were."
The low grinding from Patchouli's mortar and pestle stopped. "Before you ask, it's not a curse either. No one can hide magic from me." With a smile, Master Kaku fiddled with her hairpin.
Meiling pursed her lips. "That means something in the room made them sick," she thought out loud.
"We searched the room while you were gone." Sakuya flickered once more, her tea cup now atop of the stove.
"Another set of eyes might help." Meiling flashed a wan smile. After a bow, the guardswoman circled the walls of the parlor. Her eyes spared neither nook nor cranny along her path, but she could not tell which of the collected curios might be the culprit.
Master Kaku stood, tapping her hairpin to her lips. The sage towered over Berry's bed, her eyes darting between the stricken fairy and the maids huddled in the hallway. She whirled about and strutted to the parlor door. The fairy maids parted from the hermit's path, but Master Kaku caught one by the wrist. The sage studied the doll of a fairy, with her daisy petal wings, pale face, and pink lips unstained by gloss. A flush of rose seeped into the girl's cheeks.
Try as Meiling might, she could not see the fairy as anyone other than another of the puckish girls dolled up in lace who had adopted her as their older sister. While she loved the ancient tales of Judge Di, her talents had not set her upon the path of the detective. On the other hand, the guardswoman would spot instantly if a fairy tried to secret away a dagger or, more likely for Gensokyo, a deck of spellcards.
Master Kaku held her hairpin against her lips. "Why aren't you wearing lipstick?" She released the maid. Backing away from the sage, the fairy pleaded with Sakuya.
"Summer is dressed in the proper uniform for a maid of the mansion, without makeup." Sakuya dismissed the fairy maid with a wave of her hand. Trailing a faint glimmer of fairylight, Summer fled to the safety of her sisters.
"Then why do some wear lipstick?"
Coughing, Sakuya covered her lips with her hand. "The head maid is given certain privileges to balance out her greater responsibilities-"
"Not you. Them." Master Kaku pointed at the six maids stretched out on the cushions. Each girl's lips bore an identical shade of ruby gloss.
"If a girl exhibits a demure touch with brush, blush, and gloss, I make Sakuya look the other way," Remilia said.
Sakuya shook her head. "Most of them use makeup the same way Flandre uses crayons."
Meiling bit back a snicker. The last time Sakuya tried to educate her staff on cosmetics, the class ended with a dozen fairies with faces painted like luchadora masks. Clinging to the last scarlet scraps of her elegance, Sakuya marched into the wine cellar and locked herself inside. After Meiling forced the door open, she carried the soused maid out from her fortress of empty bottles and tucked her into bed. Perhaps she should coax Sakuya into giving another class.
Master Kaku looked around the parlor, tapping her hairpin against her lips. "Bell." The sage beckoned to Meiling. "Please follow me."
"I thought you worked for me." With a pout, Remilia cast a glare at her guardswoman. Only Meiling's martial discipline kept her from withering under the vampiress's cat-eyed stare.
"If you could spare Bell for a moment, I need a second set of eyes and everyone else is busy." Master Kaku pointed to Berry's ruby lips. "Remember that shade and let me know if you see it again."
Remilia bristled as the sage walked out of the parlor. "You're not going without me." She darted through the doorway with Sakuya on her heels.
With a shrug, Meiling followed Remilia out into the hallway. The vampires spoke reassurances to the skittish platoon of fairy maids while Master Kaku and Sakuya searched each girl for a trace of red. Meiling trailed in their wake, keeping an eye for any flash of ruby amidst the sea of gloss, ribbons, and lace. But when the impromptu inspection ended back inside the parlor, Meiling had yet to see a bold red. Even Sakuya preferred a subtle pink. As the inspection party dispersed, the guardswoman caught the sage's eye and shook her head.
"Please take a sample of lipstick from each of the ill girls and find the applicator they used." Master Kaku washed her hands in a basin by the door. "Master Alchemist, I must request to use your workspace and your solvents."
Hidden within a small corner nook of the mansion's library, Patchouli, Remilia, and Master Kaku huddled over a workbench. Seven smears of lipstick, one from each stricken fairy and one from the applicator they had shared, each filled their own test tube in a metal stand. As Master Kaku heated the rack of glass, Meiling and Sakuya hugged the wall and watched while the wax dripped inside. The mountain sage added drop by drop a rainbow of solvents to the samples. Three of the vials fizzled and turned into clear fluid. A fourth turned into a blue-green tar that burped once and settled. But when Master Kaku applied heat from the gas burner in her hand, the test tube belched, painting the ceiling with a splatter of boiling blue sludge.
Remilia shrieked as the foulness plopped down on the floor. "What are you doing?"
"Hold this." Master Kaku shoved another test tube into Remilia's hand. The liquid inside sparked once, twice, and then in a constant storm until the bulb glowed like a second sun. The vampiress blanched as the glass charred in her hand.
Silver and blue blurred around Remilia, and the eye searing tube reappeared, smoldering away in the test rack. The vampiress leapt away, shaking her hand as though she had been scalded. Sakuya scooped the young girl in her arms, casting a venomous glare at Master Kaku.
"Please tell me that you are going to clean that up," Sakuya said.
Master Kaku held up her hand as Patchouli poured the last solvents into the final two tubes. Both filled with needle black crystals. The Azurine Hermit tapped each set on its own circle of white paper and poured a clear oil over each. One washed away into a puddle, but the last sample turned the crystals a noxious bile green.
"Ku poison." The Azurine Hermit soaked up the alchemical mess with paper. "Wash the fairies' lips and do not let a single drop into their mouths, or you will complete the assassin's work."
At the word "assassin", Meiling leapt in front of Remilia and Sakuya, shielding them from the worktable with her body. "Remilia, we must take you some place safe."
"Why would someone be so foolish?" The child vampire trembled in Sakuya's arms. She slipped away from her maid, and growled through bared fangs. "I'm a vampire, not mere meat. Poisons never work on me. Must I constantly remind everyone what garlic and stakes are for?" She clenched her fists, and Meiling shrank away from the growing tantrum.
"I'll ask the Moriya shrine to play Interview with a Vampire at their theater again," Sakuya said.
"Dye my dresses red, for I hunt tonight." Remilia licked her lips and laughed as she shook her fist at the sky.
"Very well, Young Mistress, I shall warn Reimu as well."
Remilia faltered. "This is well within the bounds set by our understanding-"
"She's in seclusion for ritual purification." Using a wooden dowel, Patchouli swept the solutions, glass and all, into a lead-lined waste bin. "Marisa's been complaining about it down in the village."
Remilia crushed Meiling in a hug and twirled out of the room, laughing.
Sakuya's shoulders slumped. "I should go with her, to keep her out of trouble. But first, what is ku poison?"
"The guards back home tell stories of it." Meiling clasped her arms behind her back. "It is said to have been used for two thousand years. The old guards back home tell stories of an old buddy of a friend of a pal who knew someone who died of the poison's wasting sleep. I always thought ku poison was just a fairy tale."
"Oh, it's real. I've actually used it once or twice," Master Kaku eyed the silver that flashed in Sakuya's hand. "I have no quarrel with your young mistress; some of my misguided attempts to make elixirs of life required ku poison as a solute. I assure you, I am a thousand years removed from my last aliquot."
A child's cackle pealed from the library. Sakuya inched towards the shelves. "That doesn't tell me what it is. Animal, vegetable, or mineral?"
"I never made it myself." The sage caught her breath as Sakuya vanished without warning. She turned to Meiling. "Bell, do you ever get used to that?"
A splintering crash cut her off. Wide eyed, Patchouli sprinted into the maze of bookshelves. Meiling took off after the librarian, weaving between bookracks until she rounded the corner to the Youkai Mountain tengu periodicals section. With a small hop, she stopped in front of the mountain of books, broadsheets, and broken shelves spilled out across the ground.
Patchouli stumbled to a stop and doubled over, wheezing as she clung to the nearest shelf. Tears welled in the librarian's eyes. "Koakuma!"
"It wasn't my fault," a clear soprano called out from above.
Meiling looked up and backed into a bookshelf. At the apex of the shelves, the blond silk-winged fairy dangled from a wooden rolling ladder by only one arm. Clutching a tome tight against her chest, the maid kicked out, knocking over a three-volume box set as her stocking feet tried to find purchase on the ladder.
As the books fell, Patchouli squealed and rushed underneath them. Catching the set, she tumbled into the shelf and slid to the floor. A coughing fit wracked her body.
"Don't forget to take a spoonful of sulfur and honey every day," Master Kaku said as she rounded the corner.
Meiling rushed forward and braced the ladder with her body. "Drop the book."
The fairy called out, "But Miss Patchouli-"
In the corner of Meiling's eye, the librarian waved her hand. The guardswoman said, "It's fine." She looked up, stepped away from the ladder, and caught the book in her arms. Planting her feet, Meiling braced herself against the ladder.
Master Kaku tapped her hairpin against her lips as the fairy reached out and pulled herself onto the ladder. "The poor dear forgot she could fly."
Patchouli swayed to her feet. "I'll take that." She held out her hand towards Meiling. The guardswoman looked down and handed over the collection of Golden Room legends. Patchouli dusted off the cover and shelved the tome. "Thank you."
A whiff of brimstone filled the air as a winged demoness in business attire appeared at Patchouli's side. She glanced at the mess on the floor and hissed. "What happened here?" She spotted the blond maid stepping off the ladder and made a moue of disgust. "I should have known. What did you do now, Silk?"
The maid wheeled around at her name and met Koakuma's eyes. "This wasn't my fault."
"Whatever. Just help me clean this up."
"Make sure you take inventory." Patchouli pointed at a torn page. "Give me a list of every book that needs a new cover or a new page."
Kneeling, Meiling shook free a plank from the pile of books, and set it aside
Patchouli grabbed the Chinese youkai's shoulder. "Leave that for Koakuma and Silk. There's better uses for our time."
With a curt nod, the guardswoman stood, squared her shoulders, and grabbed Patchouli's wrist. "Let's talk." Meiling dragged the librarian into an adjacent aisle.
Choking back a squeal, Patchouli rubbed her arm and cast a glance over her shoulder. Back by the mess, Koakuma and Silk toiled on. "What's on your mind?"
"Can you make us secure?"
Nodding, Patchouli knelt and, with a piece of chalk, drew a pentagon around Meiling. After circumscribing it, she tapped the circle with her chalk. The lines fluoresced and a susurrating breeze rippled through the library. Patchouli stood and clapped chalk dust from her hands. "We can speak freely; no one can eavesdrop now.
Meiling drove her fist into her open hand. "Whoever did this should be facing us with spellcard instead." She closed her eyes and counted to herself. "I will close the front gate. We need to check every delivery we've gotten today as well as any new ones that come in."
Patchouli shook her head. "The test for the poison is easy enough, but it takes time. I cannot work on the cure while checking every parcel. Or overseeing a team of fairies doing so, which is pretty much the same as doing it myself."
"Get Koa to do it. Preferably somewhere private without windows." Meiling pursed her lips. "I'll have to shutter those as well."
"This all would be easier if Sakuya were here."
"She's where she needs to be; keeping Remilia out of trouble." Meiling squeezed Patchouli's should. "We'll help each other out as best we can, so when Remilia returns from her hunt, she won't need to worry about little things."
Patchouli knelt and brushed her hand through the chalk. The glowing circle faded as the spell broke. "I'll hold you to that promise."
The night chill seeped into the fairies' parlor. Meiling wrapped a scarlet shawl around her shoulders and stifled a yawn. She placed a plum charm for healing on Berry's pillow. Eyeing the furnace, she brushed a strand of dark hair from the ashen fairy's brow.
The guardswoman had claimed the first fire watch of the night. Duty demanded it. Left alone, a stray ember fallen from the stove could turn the sick beds into funeral pyres, even after Patchouli abandoned her elemental fire therapy. Besides, Meiling could not bear the thought of the fairies left all alone, even overnight.
Like her mother had when Meiling was a child, the guardswoman sang the simple songs of hearth and home over the slumbering fairies. She made her rounds through the parlor, placing a plum charm on each girl's cushion. Perhaps a passing mercy goddess would be drawn by the amulets.
Meiling sat by the bed of a fairy she knew as Rose. The guardswoman rubbed her eyes. Rocking in her chair, she pinched the back of her hand. For a moment, her vision cleared. Shaking her head, she resumed her circuits through the parlor.
A bell jingled as the parlor door opened. Meiling sat up straight as Master Kaku and Patchouli entered. The librarian, now dressed in her preferred pajamas, carried a beaker. Six eyedroppers rattled around inside the glass, each filled with a golden liquid.
"Is that the antidote?" Meiling's hopes quickened.
"It is Elixir of Life made from the Philosopher's Stone." Master Kaku took two eyedroppers. "Your turn, Bell."
"Please don't spill." Patchouli pulled the beaker away from Meiling's reach. After a moment, she relented. "This isn't easy to make. Only one pipette per patient."
"Why can't you call them eyedroppers?" Meiling took two doses of the medicine. She held one up and watched the glow of the furnace play upon the golden quicksilver inside.
"A little showmanship heightens the mysteries of alchemy." Master Kaku knelt by the closest sextuplet, Daisy, tilted her head back, and administered the medicine.
"Don't dawdle. The elixir's potency diminishes with time." Patchouli treated another fairy, Clover, and dropped the empty pipette into the beaker.
Meiling in turn gave the golden medicine to Berry and Rose. Neither fairy so much as shivered after they swallowed the medicine. Fiddling with the fringe of her shawl, Meiling sat and watched Rose. "Now what?"
"We wait." Patchouli passed her beaker to Meiling. The guardswoman dropped her empty pipettes into the glass. Signing, the librarian sat beside Meiling and pulled out a pocket-sized book from her pajamas. While Patchouli flipped through its pages, Master Kaku paced circles around the room.
The pot-belly stove crackled until the fire within burned down to fading embers. Shivering, Meiling shuffled over to the furnace and stoked the flame with more firewood. She rubbed her hands together and basked in the warmth. The guardswoman chewed her lip and waited for Patchouli's patients to stir.
The librarian tucked a ribbon into her book. She reached out and pinched Rose's ear. The sleeping fairy did not flinch, even after Patchouli twisted the maid's earlobe. Slumping in her chair, the alchemist closed her eyes and bowed her head. "I told you that I have problems with the purity of the Philosopher's Stone. I am at the limit of my craft."
"We had to try." Meiling took her post by Rose's bed.
The dollish fairy still slept, but traces of color bloomed in her ashen cheeks.