A.N: This is a One shot that flew into my head all of a sudden yesterday while I was listening to I'll Be Missing You by Faith Evans, Diddy, and Mase...listen to that song while reading this...it fits the story. Please leave reviews I love to know what you think about it.
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
The wind whipped through his hair as he slowly walked through the forest. It had been one whole year and he still maintained his youth and his strength, he still hated his brother, and everything around him still looked the same. Yet, things weren't the same, and they never would be again.
Everyday he felt a burden heavier than the moment before. Everyday he relived the moment when that bastard snatched her away from him for forever. He pushed the thought away constantly but it always somehow traveled back.
It was nothing he could do about it. It all happened so fast, yet he blamed himself constantly for it.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion from the moment he glanced at her body falling to the ground from a blast that was meant for him, to the moment he ripped Naraku to shreds.
He never got a final word in with her. He never got a chance to say how much he cared for her. He never got to tell her how much he loved her.
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
Ill be missing you
He embraced her limp body wishing, hoping, praying that he could justtake her place.
She had given him so much, and then suddenly had taken so much away. Why her? Why did she have to leave this world so soon? She never did anything to anyone. She deserved a lot, but this wasnt it.
That was the first time he had ever cried.
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When its real, feelings hard to conceal
Cant imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
He glanced at the sky. This was the anniversary of the day she had passed away. The day she left him. He was feeling so much at the moment, from grief to heartbreak to anger back to grief again.
It was so amazing to him how someone could be right there talking and joking with you, and then suddenly slip through your fingers in a instant.
Ever since that day he was never really the same anymore. His whole outlook on life had changed. He was no longer his vibrant aggresive self. He was just a distant spirit now, wandering around with nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for in life.
Its kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
He wished that there was someone around him that felt the same way he did, just so he wouldn't feel so alone in the world. Sure Sango, Shippo, and Miroku were still grieving too, but they couldn't even describe what he was going through.
He longed for the days when they traveled together. He longed for the days when he would just rest his head on her lap as they watched the sunset. He even longed for the times when they argued.
Anything just to have her back by his side again. If he could turn back the hands of time he would start from the beginning. He would treat her better, protect her better, show her his feelings a lot better.
It was as if her presence lingered around him, and it just wouldn't leave him alone. It haunted him constantly. Or maybe it was the fact that he wasnt willing to let her go that was tormenting him so.
There was this pain in his heart that with every beat ached more and more everytime he pictured her face.
He kept expecting her to pop out of a bush and scream 'SIKE!'. He didn't want to believe that she was really gone, but she was, and she wasn't coming back.
I still cant believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know your still living youre life, after death
He missed her so damn much. It was as if there was a space missing in his heart that only she could fill, and she wasn't there to fill it. He was walking around with only half a heart.
He stopped when he noticed that he was near the place she had been buried. Somehow, after a hell of a lot of begging and pleading, he managed to persuade her family to let her be buried in the Fuedal Era. It took a lot of effort but finally they agreed to it. He promised that she wouldnt be disturbed and she wasnt. She was buried on a secluded island, surrounded with flowers and butterflies. It was peaceful there. She deserved at least that.
This was the first time he had visited her since she died. There was this undescribable feeling he felt when he was there that was just too painful for him to bear. He was afraid of that feeling. He was only visiting because it was a way of honoring her.
He knelt down and placed a bundle of flowers atop the soil. He has been practicing what the say the whole trip over, but now he couldn't utter a word. He just stared at the flowers he had just placed down as a single tear carressed his cheek.
Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where Ill keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
"K...Kagome..." he mumbled. He looked away, trying to steady his breathing and hold back his tears. He looked back to the place where she rest.
"I guess I just wanted to say that I miss you...so much. Some...sometimes I don't know if I can go on another moment without you but, somehow I make it through...I guess I do it for you. I know you want me to continue on, just as long as I keep you in my heart. It just so hard without you. It's so painful...and I...I...I love you." he said.
He started to say more but couldn't find the words. He sighed, then wiped his tears away.
He knew he had to let her go or he would be depressed for the rest of his life. He would never forget her, never stop loving her, never stop longing for her.
He kissed two fingers and laid it on the headstone where her name was carved. He slowly got up, his eyes lingering on the place where he laid his kiss, then walked away.
That was the last time he had ever visited her grave.
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
Dedicated to Kenneth who passed away yesterday.
R.I.P
You will be missed.
-Caya