This is an old one that I was asked to put back up.
Admiral James T. Kirk was full. He twirled his fork through the last remnants of fettucine alfredo and popped the forkful into his mouth. Pushing the plate away from him, he looked over at his girlfriend of the past year and frowned slightly. Sadara had seemed increasingly preoccupied over the last few weeks and had barely said a word during the course of their meal. Her dark, slanted eyebrows were knitted together as she frowned pensively down at her own plate, on which there were still a few bites remaining.
"Sadara… is everything alright?"
The young Vulcan/Human hybrid glanced up from her plate quickly and her face flushed with guilt and embarrassment. "Yes. No. I mean, not exactly…" She sighed and cast her gaze back down to the table again, burying her face in her hands as she tried to summon the words. It felt like it took the strength of Hercules to lift her gaze to meet Jim's once more. "There is something I need to tell you."
Any number of possibilities fought for Kirk's headspace in that moment and his heart lurched at the bad ones. Tossing his napkin onto the table beside his plate, the legendary starship captain pushed his chair back and rose. Rounding the dining room table, he offered his tense lover a hand, which she took hesitantly.
"Let's go out onto the balcony," he said softly, nodding his head in the direction of the sliding glass door to his left.
Sadara surprised him by suddenly wrapping her arms around him and holding him to her tightly.
There is definitely something going on…Kirk thought grimly as he returned the embrace and wondered what it could be. He knew Sadara loved physical affection, but the fear and nervousness in her embrace worried him. It wasn't like her. Stroking her long, chocolate locks gently, Kirk breathed in her soft, floral scent and whispered his support, hoping to calm her somewhat. He was getting impatient however, to find out what she needed to tell him.
After several long moments, Sadara pulled away. "Just let me get the table cleared first."
"It can wait," Kirk insisted; though he knew how she felt about not cleaning up immediately and trying to fight her on this required a little more stubbornness than he thought even he had. "Alright, I'll take care of it. You go sit out on the balcony for a few minutes and try to relax."
"But Jim…" Her soft voice died as he fixed her with a stern gaze that brooked no opposition.
She turned toward the balcony as Jim began clearing the table. Unexpectedly, the door chime sounded and Sadara altered course to answer the door. "Odd, I'm not expecting any other visitors tonight…" She mumbled as she keyed the door unlocked.
"Dr. McCoy…" She said with surprise as the crotchety, middle aged friend of Kirk's pushed past her uninvited and whirled to face her.
"Have you told Jim about that baby yet?!" He asked angrily, blue eyes blazing.
"Doctor, this really isn't a good time for this...," she said urgently, hoping he'd get the message and leave. Seriously, didn't he have better things to do on a Friday night?
"Of course it isn't. Just like it wasn't two weeks ago when… Oh hi Jim!" Bones McCoy grinned as Kirk wandered in from the kitchen, his expression unreadable. "Well, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had company," McCoy said as he glanced back at Sadara. "In that case, I'll be leaving. Here Jim, catch!" A bottle of bright blue Romulan Ale landed softly in Kirk's hands as the door hissed shut behind the good doctor.
Sadara didn't even hear Kirk set the bottle on the dining room table as he just watched her intently. She just continued to stare at the door in shock, her posture completely rigid and tense. After a long moment she brought her hands up to rub her bare arms as if freezing. Suddenly her light, lavender hued sundress with the spaghetti straps and fairly short hem left her feeling strangely exposed.
"He did that on purpose," she finally whispered furiously and then she fled to her bedroom, desperately wanting back the privacy that had been so blatantly violated a few short moments ago.
Kirk didn't follow her immediately. He too, was processing the shock of what had just occurred. He had told his good friend where he was going to be that night, but never would have anticipated the information to be used like this. After many years of friendship with Dr. McCoy, the handsome young Admiral understood why McCoy did what he did. Sadara must have known for some time and been finding it difficult to say anything to him so McCoy felt he had to show some "tough love" to get things moving along. Still, Sadara had been about to share the news and McCoy had ruined the moment for her. A moment she'd never get back. And that angered Kirk on her behalf. He finished putting away the dishes, giving his girlfriend a few minutes to calm down and then he stopped outside her bedroom door, giving it a couple gentle taps before pushing it open quietly.
She was lying on her side on the queen size bed, her back to him. The window was open and the cream colored curtains bounced around softly in the warm September breeze. Kirk lowered himself onto the bed as well, pressing himself against her back, and slipping his left arm under her. He draped his right arm over her still slim waist and his strong hand settled protectively over her midsection. It awed him to know that his unborn son or daughter was growing strong; a little miracle nestled safely in Sadara's womb right under his hand.
"A baby. My god, Sadara, this is wonderful."
It broke Sadara's heart to hear those words for she had so many conflicting emotions about this pregnancy. Quiet sobs escaped her throat as she tried to rein in her overflowing feelings. She wanted to blame the lack of control on her pregnancy induced hormones, but she knew that wasn't entirely the case. The truth was this pregnancy hadn't been in her plans and she wasn't sure she wanted to be a mother.
"Sadara?" Concern and foreboding tinged Kirk's voice now.
Taking a deep breath, Sadara pondered her words. "I'm not sure how to feel about this, Jim. My whole life… our whole lives, will be changed by this and I'd been looking forward to warping out with the Essex as her new captain after the refit. My career will be dead in the water if I have the baby and I'll have let Admiral Yamamoto down after he'd pushed so hard for me to get the Essex."
Kirk pushed himself up on an elbow and gently grasped her chin, turning her head to look up at him, but his voice had that hard edge in it. "*If* you have the baby? You're not thinking of aborting it, are you?!"
Dread and fear squeezed Kirk's heart in a mighty fist. He thought of Carol Marcus and their son, David whose lives he'd been barred from; and Miramanee, who'd died pregnant with his child just a few short years ago. Both incidents had left James Kirk unimaginably pained, knowing he'd never know his children. And now, Sadara…
Being half Vulcan, she was a touch telepath as all Vulcans were and she heard his unspoken thought and felt the intense emotions that came along with it.
Not a third child ripped from my life… to have to endure the loss of another child…
Guilt and shame washed over Sadara. She was being selfish thinking of only her career.
"Look, Sadara, I know this isn't what you'd planned, but this is our baby. It deserves to live just as much as we do."
"That's easy for you to say!" She hissed back angrily. "You don't have to overcome the physical effects of pregnancy or remain "groundbound" due to your "delicate condition"! And who's staying home to raise it? Can you honestly say you'd rather stay here raising a family instead of being on the Enterprise if Starfleet offered her to you again?"
Kirk's mouth was a grim slash and he was sure his hazel eyes showed uncharacteristic weary defeat. The one argument men couldn't touch: They don't experience pregnancy.
His resolve hardened though. He didn't fight Carol's decision to keep him away from David. He wouldn't make that mistake with Sadara. He'd fight for his child.
"And 20 years out of a 200 year lifespan is too much for you to give up for our baby's life?"
A sigh. "No, it's not. Look, I didn't say I'd abort it, Jim. This is just a lot to absorb. My life is going to change in every way possible."
"I'll help you; just don't take my baby away from me. You know I've already had two children taken from me. And you're not letting anyone down. Ryuu has four kids of his own. He'll understand."
Sadara fell silent and stared out the window pensively. She knew deep down she'd never be able to live with herself if she aborted their baby. She would be filled with regret and spend the rest of her life wondering what the baby would have been like. And she loved Jim too much to take this child away from him, especially since he'd already suffered the loss of his first two. Where she'd seen an inconvenience, Kirk saw a family. And he was right…20 years out of 200 wasn't asking much. On Monday, she'd start considering options for ground assignments. Perhaps she could make a difference if she found the right one.
Reaching under the soft pillow, Sadara pulled out a slim datapad and activated it, then held it up to Jim. "First pictures of your baby. It's due in April. Do you want to know what we're having?"
Kirk grinned wide with blessed relief and gently took the datapad and kissed her deeply. "You bet."