Always
By silvermisery
Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: Just a quick fic I dashed off at like midnight. D/Hr, one sided Pansy/Draco.
I know, now. I know as I should have done years ago, as I would have done had I not been too blinded to see it. Too blinded by love, and by infatuation, and gleaming blond locks and molten silver eyes and a sharp, quick laugh and slow, shark-like smiles.
He will never love me, not the way he does the Granger chit, no she can't have him she can't have him it's not fair it's not fair. He held my hand throughout the night when our mansion was searched by big Aurors (and oh God how I hate them all) and we cried together when our fathers were arrested (no I don't care what you say he did he's my father) and I—
The Gryffindors get everything.
The Gryffindors get everything and everyone and they can't have Draco too but they do. (stupid first-year when Draco's face was all lit-up and I thought he might kiss me but then the stupid old coot gave points to his precious Golden Boy and his face closes down) and I hate them and I love him.
He cried when his mother died. (golden hair and perfect beauty and white roses) the Mudblood stayed up with him all night. (my place) she doesn't know him like I do. She doesn't remember how he loved her (can I hug you Mother) how she spoiled him and loved him and cried for him (my Dragon) and persuaded his Father to get him those Nimbus brooms he was so proud of second year (I promise I'll win this time, Pans, we'll show them).
And Weasley laughed as he passed by and said, "Hey Malfoy, at least I have a mum," (his face too pale and his eyes stark against blue skin)
I didn't remember lunging up and at him—choking him—grabbing the front of his threadbare robes (That's why the Slytherins all sing)
Hating him like I never did anyone before—
"I'll kill you for that, Weasley!" (Weasley is our king)
Because I would. Kill for him, die for him, do anything for him without a second thought (not very Slytherin of you, is that, Pans?)
Because I love him.
Because he is Draco, and he will never love me back.
But I can still love him, and do, and will—
I have always done that.