Told from Bolin's POV, before he sees Mako and Korra kiss. Note that the story line will not be adhered too, and if it does, it'll only be loosely.
There's a peace that comes when walking alone. The city at night is so still, yet still teeming with life. It's a constant oxymoron, with it's progression forward and the archaic practices that still linger. Moving through an alley, I stay close to the wall, and turn the corner sharply.
"Korra? Mako?"
What on Earth are they doing out in the city, at night, together?
"Oh, Bolin, we came looking for you." Mako always had a quick response, but I knew my brother well enough to recognize deceitfulness.
But why would he lie to me? And why does Korra look so freaked out?
"Really? Sorry if I worried you. I just like walking around at night, and besides Pabu needed some fresh air. What have you guys been up to?"
"Oh nothing really. Mako and I have just been at the gym training." Korra finally slid into an ease. I can't read her quite yet, but that's probably because I get too lost in those eyes, deep perfect blue, like the sky on a winter morning. Deep and infinite.
I bet I could drown in those eyes. Fuck, aren't I already? Even in the dark they radiate light. Beacons in this dark expanse of life. I wish mom could've met her. She would have loved Korra, they're so much alike. So strong willed and brilliant. Dad would have really liked her too. They would have battled wits and laughed until it hurt. They would have loved Korra, almost as much as I do.
"Uhm, Bolin? Bolin, are you alright?" Those eyes squinted, and her brow furrowed in the most perplexed and endearing way. Even confused, Korra looked like an angel.
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't I be? I'm starving, wanna get something to eat?"
"Bolin, you're always starving." Mako said with a curt laugh. What an ass. Just because I'm not 6'1'' with 2% body fat, he thinks I'm just this bumbling idiot who keeps stuffing his face. Well screw him, I'm plenty fit. I'm stronger than him even, that sinewy prick.
We began strolling down the dimly lit avenues, Korra walking between Mako and I. I kept stealing glances at her from the corner of my eye. Her cheekbones, sharp and high, threw the shadows about her face that made her look soft and strong in turns. In one moment I believed I wanted to touch her ever so delicately, to see if she was as fragile as the porcelain she appeared to be, and in the next moment I wanted to be her right hand as she tore through the entirety of Amon's armies, deliciously destructive. And the way she moved! God, it was captivating. Each step was a glide, a fluid stream of movement as if she were cascading through water. Her skin, dark and rich glowed in the weak quarter moon, her very spirit fawning in the light of it, completely iridescent. In each step her arms swung forward and occasionally the back of her hand would brush mine. Each time our skin connected I could feel the electrical impulses of her neurons exciting mine, sending sensations shooting up my arm, to my brain and heart in such strength it was almost cripplingly painful. In one sudden movement, her head snapped my way and I was immediately frozen in her stare. There was heat and fire that burned within that ocean.
"Where do you wanna go, Bolin?" Please dear lord, say my name again. Please, please, please, please.
"Uh, well anywhere with food is perfect!"
She giggled, a tinkling sound that was completely engulfing and made anyone who heard it instantly endeared to her. We entered the restaurant and sat down. She sat next to Mako, across from me. I felt irritated, but only mildly. At least this way I had a reason to look in her direction the entire time. Our bowls of noodles came over and I immediately tucked in. I sneak a glance mid shovel, and notice her staring. Her eyes wide, and those full, ever pouting lips skewed up to the left and slightly open. Even in disgust she is one hundred thousand percent sexy. I blush, profusely. My cheeks feel totally inflamed, as if I was a child battling with Mako again, and he accidentally hit me with a fire blast before I could block it.
"Sorry." I mumble. Shit, I'm such a barbarian. No wonder she treats me like a child still. God, I wish I could be all broody like Mako. He gets chicks all the time with his dark hair, slim trim, and golden eyes. Despite the fire in his spirit, he's an ice block. Even I get chills around him sometimes, and he's at his warmest around me. I bet she likes him. In fact, I know she does.
As my eyes slide to soak in her perfection once more, I notice how hers slide to my brother. There's a glimmer there, and a flash across her face I've never seen on her before. It's a mix of awe and sheepishness. I wonder if that's how I look when I steal glances at her. Vulnerable, intoxicated. Idiotic. I sigh, imperceptibly I thought.
"Hey, Bolin, are you ok?" Mako asks. So heard. I groan internally. Korra's now looking me over, but not in loving irreverence like I do her. It's more of a maternal worry. I force a smile. It comes so naturally, and I am one hundred percent aware of how happy-go-lucky I appear to everyone. So carefree and oafish.
"Yeah, why?" I say nonchalantly. I steal another glance.
I scoop up Pabu and put him on my shoulder. He can read my moods and curls around my neck, like a scarf. Korra glances over and giggles.
"You two are such an adorable pair. Soul mates even." I laugh heartily. Not in agreement. But in defiance.
I could show you what it looks like to be with your soul mate. I could show you love so infinite. I really could, Korra.
We start heading back to the gym, but I fall behind as Mako and Korra walk ahead. They're walking shoulder to shoulder, and I can hear them whispering to each other. Normally, I would catch up and try to join in, but I don't feel up to hurting right now. I stroke Pabu and trudge along. Back at the gym, Korra stays for awhile. I go to the tiny room Mako and I share and begin changing into my sleeping clothes.
"Oh, sorry, I thought this was the bathroom." Korra is standing at the doorway, blushing and smiling as she stares at the ground.
SHE SAW ME WITHOUT MY SHIRT ON. SHE SAW ME WITHOUT MY SHIRT OR PANTS ON. SHE'S BLUSHING AND SMILING. BUT SHE HASN'T LEFT. OH HOLY SHIT.
"I-I-it-it-it's o-ok." I manage to choke out. She apologizes again and leaves. God I'm an idiot. And now she knows exactly what she isn't missing.
"God I am such a fucking idiot. I can't even behave like a normal human being. She thinks I am some kind of child. She'll never love me back."
I turn to shut off the lamp and return to the living room to say goodnight to Mako and Korra. But I don't have to go too far. I can see just to the end of the hallway, and there they are. Not touching, but talking quietly in quick, fierce voices. I don't move a single, solitary muscle. I tilt my head slightly so that my ear is towards them.
"Mako..." Her voice starts a slow burning fire in my abdomen. It begins to smolder and radiate down my groin and legs and up my chest. I wish she'd say my name like that.
And then I witnessed the end of the world. Except the world kept going. I was suddenly immersed in a horror film, watching as my heart got stabbed six feet away from me. Three...four...five...six...seven...eight. Eight excruciating seconds her full, soft lips were mashed and intertwined with Mako's. Mako, who is forever brooding and somber. Mako, who never even gave Korra the time of day. Mako, who has no regard for anyone but himself. My heart turned to stone in those moments and sunk, and I could feel the fissures forming, deep and spreading, preparing to crack apart my heart like the boulders I had once destroyed on a whim. Fragments and dust clogged my chest, dried my mouth and throat. An audible gasp escaped me. It was a croak, a groan, a cry; her name.
They both turned and stared. I could feel the tears leaking from my eyes. I was entranced in hers though. Wide and bluer than ever. Perfection. Perfection still locked in my brothers embrace, their bodies connecting at their chests, pressing at their stomachs all the way down to their thighs. Her arms, perfectly muscled and toned wrapped around his neck, and his icy pale arms draped around her lower waist. I was disgusted, and destroyed completely. The tears had reached my chin and were coursing down my neck. Mako disengaged himself and took a step towards me. I promptly turned away and slammed the door.
"BOLIN, OPEN UP! I'M SORRY, BOLIN! PLEASE, JUST OPEN THE DOOR!" I made no answer to my brothers pleas. From the other side, I could hear her murmur a goodbye, and then the wet sound of another kiss. The door slammed and I let the floodgates open as I curled up under my sheets. I couldn't believe a pain such as this could exist. The Earth could split open beneath me and swallow me whole, and I am sure that would be a quick, sweet relief.
Why am I never good enough?