DISCLAIMER:I do not own Throne of Glass!
LYSANDRA'S POV
Elide was leaning against me, all the weight from her small but muscular body pressing on my side, my heavy breast. She told everyone, especially Rowan, what exactly had happened, and I could do nothing but watch as he broke into tiny pieces, completely irreparable to anyone. Apart from, of course, a specific fire-breathing bitch-queen.
And then there was Aedion.
He was looking at me like he actually understood what was going on. He understood what part I would play in this. The fury that ravaged his face was excruciatingly painful. I knew that there was no chance of forgiveness.
"You knew!" he snarled. As I knew that he would never look at me the same again, I realised I had nothing to fight for. Except. Except Aelin, who had stood by my in everything, my queen who I would die for.
I took a deep breath and lifted my chin. I would take it for Aelin. So I did the worst thing possible - I replied. "She asked me - that day on the boat. To help her. She told me the suspected price to banish Erawan and restore the keys. What I needed to do."
This seemed to anger Aedion even more. "What could you possibly..." Even though it hurt that he thought I was useless, I refused to flinch.
Then Rowan seemed to cotton on. He whispered, almost reverently, his eyes filled with love, "Aelin would die to forge the new lock to seal the keys into the gate - to banish Erawan. But no one would know. No one but us. Not while you wore her skin for the rest of your life." The look in his eyes told me that although the resentment he was feeling towards me was strong, once it passed, he would hold no anger towards me.
Aedion still looked very confused as he dragged a hand through his matted hair. He really didn't understand. "But...any offspring with Rowan wouldn't look anything like -"
I didn't want to beg, but at this point I didn't have a choice. I put my hands together. "You could fix that." I paused. "With me." If Aedion agreed, our offspring would pass as royal. Even if I was in Aelin's skin, my children would look like me in this form as it is my main one.
Aedion stared at me, looking so...raged I wondered whether slapping him would have been better. The words that poured out of his mouth fell in torrents - they hurt like each one was a separate dagger, and each word stabbed my heart.
"And when were you going to reveal this? Before or after I thought I was taking my gods-damned cousin to bed for whatever reason you concocted?" After, of course. But, not wanting to ruin things more, I whispered, "I will not apologise to you. I serve her, and I am willing to spend the rest of my life pretending to be her so that her sacrifice isn't in vain -"
I was cut off by Aedion's roar. "You can go to hell. You can go to hell you lying bitch!"
I snarled in return, forcing the anger to pour out of me, although inside, I felt like my heart was being torn into thousands of pieces. Completely irreparable. I was shattered, although it would take an extremely clever person to realise that...that I was broken.
Throughout the whole conversation with Galan Ashryver, Aedion hadn't even spared a glance at me. To be honest, I don't blame him, considering the lengths I'd go with my loyalty to my Queen-it would hold too much pain to look at me in Aelin's skin(as I am now) and remember that we don't really know where she is, or if our Queen is ever really coming back.
I have betrayed him so badly. There is no way of him returning my feelings for him. I have ruined everything! He was only just starting to show me, well, that he had a heart! I knew from the start that he wasn't Adarlan's whore, but he never seemed to be affected by me and my looks.
The fact that the world outside me had suddenly gone dead silent was my only indication that I had been wrapped up in my thoughts. I looked around me, and realised that everyone was staring on me, grief written on all of their features. The silence told me I'd been asked a question. Taking a deep breath, I put on the jaunty smile of a specific fire-breathing bitch-queen who I couldn't bear to think about at the moment. None of us could.
"I'm sorry, I missed that," I spoke in my best imitation of her. Then, to make it more Aelin-like, I added, "busy thinking about queenly things, as usual." Galan, as polite as ever, smiled sweetly and replied,"Where now?" I smiled, and for once it was real, my words were real as I sighed.
"We go north. To Terresan. Home" I glanced at Aedion, whose hands were clenched into fists, and his Ashryver eyes were glaring at me, burning with hatred. I didn't let my mask falter, and stopped any shred of doubt from showing on my face.
I spared Rowan a glance, and with a few veiled words, gave him permission to go after the real Aelin. Slowly, Aedion and Rowan drifted away, no doubt discussing their plans. Since I had known them for so long, I already knew that Aedion would come with me, whether he wanted to or not, to oversee the armies. And make my life a living hell in the process. But Rowan, he would find Aelin, the bond between all of us, the woman who thought her life wasn't as important as ours, the queen who we all served and loved.
I'm so sorry Rowan. It's for the best that no one knows. You will find her - I'm sure of it. I paused. Then, bring her home. I have faith in you. He knew that hadn't even heard me, but I felt much more peaceful then I did a few moments ago.Taking a deep breath, I walked towards Ansel and Enda, Galan following behind me and Ilias coming closer to listen from where he had drifted apart. We converse for ages, talking about what to do next and also how our lives have been since we last saw each other ages ago. Before long Aedion stalks past me, brushing me off when I try to talk to him. I sigh, and give the order to ready the long boats.
Aedion pushes our boat out into the deep turquoise sea, and we sail out into the sunset, leaving that island coated with pain and grief far behind us as we head home. Far away, a white shirt coated in blood skittered across the surf, the wind blowing it beyond the horizon, and I couldn't help my smile, the word home and the fact that I would finally have one ringing in my ears over and over again.