It was just an average Friday night in the Avengers' Tower. Banner was cooking some sort of traditional Asian food that he had learned how to make when on the run, while fending off Clint who kept trying to taste it in new and creative ways (his latest attempt involved a spoon attached to a broom being lowered from the ceiling vents). Natasha was playing a very close game of chess with Thor, who had picked up on the Midgardian game very swiftly- being raised to command armies strategically and all. Steve alternated between watching the progress of the game- unable to comprehend the complexity of the tactics that were being used by the players- and setting the table.

It had been a while since they had all eaten together, what with the SHIELD agents' missions and Tony's erratic, unscheduled schedule. Speaking of the genius, Steve told JARVIS (and hadn't a talking house been a surprise) to send Tony up from his latest inventing spree. The machine complied and a few seconds later Steve was assured that Stark would be up in a few minutes.

The genius inventor had been pretty wired lately. Everyone in the tower had noticed, but all they could pick up from Tony was that he was too bored and he really needed someone- anyone- to show up and do something interesting. No one was sure what he meant by that, considering the hectic lives that they already lead and all the inventing he had been doing. They hadn't been able to get a straight answer out of him when they asked- not even Banner- though, so eventually they just left it be. As long it didn't affect his performance on the field or the Avengers' public images, Steve was willing to letting it slide.

"Oooooookay, that should do it!" Steve was brought out of his musings by Bruce removing the curry-like dish from the stove placing it at the table, Clint following- clearly tired of waiting. Thor and Natasha appeared, their game apparently paused for the moment, and the five of them sat at the table, prepared to begin serving.

Ding!

The Avengers looked over to where the main elevator had just opened in time to see a reasonably tall man with curly black hair and a pale face with sharp cheekbones stride out with his hands folded behind his large, dark coat. He appeared to be calmly explaining something to his much shorter, blond haired companion who was responding in an exasperated tone.

"-I know I said that you should see Irene again, but I didn't mean that she should help you babysit Rosie!" The shorter man exclaimed to his companion.

"You're only mad because she turned out to be so good at it."

"No, I'm mad because you let your crazy girlfriend teach my daughter how to seduce boys." The Avengers were all rather alarmed at the sight of two unknown- possible senile- men who had managed to make it up to the main floor of the Avengers' Tower, but they found themselves unable to actually do anything about it and instead just listened as the newcomers came to a stop near the table they were seated at and continued their conversation.

"Yet, you made me godfather when you know my experience with children is limited to crimes and the time I bribed Archie into wearing a suit for your wedding with pictures of beheadings. Besides, seduction is a good life skill."

"She's three years old, damn it!"

"Yes, and starting early will serve her well later in life, John."

"Oh for Christ's-"

"Oh, and look. I was right, once again- we're on time for an Indian dinner. A variation of Pav Bhaji, am I correct?" The tall man addressed this last part to Banner, who nodded dumbfounded. The sight of the two strangers just arriving into their home (and with the presumption that they feed them) was enough to bring Steve out of his stupor.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing here! How did you even get up here- the only people who are supposed to have access are us-"

"-And anyone else Tony has given access too- which includes us, obviously, or we wouldn't have been able to get in." The man in the coat interjected smoothly.

"Hang on," the shorter man- John, apparently- began in some amusement, "are you admitting that you can't by-pass Tony's security?"

The man in the coat gave him a sour look, "You heard me, John. JARVIS is out of my league- actually he's out of Mycroft's league; trust me, he's tried- when it comes to security. Tony really know what he's doing- oh don't look so smug!"

John opened his mouth, likely to make another remark to irritate his companion, but Steve chose that moment to speak up again.

"That doesn't explain why you feel you have the right to come in here unannounced, and just expect us to cater to you! I don't know who you think you are, but this isn't your home; it's ours." Steve stood up so he could intimidate the raven haired man by providing an imposing figure with a superior stature. He was slightly surprised by how the man didn't seem affected by being faced by a larger man, but Steve noticed that John, who the man had been arguing with just moments ago, seemed to be defensive of his taller companion- if his suddenly tense but prepared countenance was anything to go by. "You had better do something to fix your attitude, because a self entitled ass like you isn't going to be tolerated in this tower. Either tell us who you are and what you want or I'll throw you out myself!"

Steve saw Clint and Banner wince slightly at his words when he stood up to the man- who was clearly a bully, judging by the way he was speaking earlier. Natasha's face didn't give anything away what she thought about his actions. Thor looked slightly confused by Steve's response, but he kept in mind that the hammer-wielding warrior is from an alien planet which had different customs to that of Earth.

He expected the man to either back down and leave, or cave in and apologise, but to Steve's surprise, he just looked to John and, upon receiving a clearly carefully considered nod, returned his gaze to Steve and began speaking at a rather fast pace.

"You're one to talk about being a self entitles 'ass' considering you're sitting in a billionaire's kitchen, the man who you obviously don't get along with or even like most of the time. You're still stuck with morals from the 1940s, which often causes you to forget to think of women as your equal- although I'll admit that you had far more progressive values than average from your time period. You like to draw a lot, particularly faces from your past. Tony brought you your pencils; Staedtler- no, Caran d'Ache. At the moment you're upset, because you can't quite recall all the details of someone's face- someone who was very important to you. Most likely a female, so probably a your mother or a lover; since you've clearly never had a sister. I'd say lover at a guess, which makes it possible that she's still alive, but you haven't seen her since you came out of the ice. This is another reason that you don't get along with Tony, because you're jealous that he was able to spend a lot of his life with her around. As a consequence, you're resentful of all the things he's also managed to accomplish- such as the Iron Man suit- because he was able to do that by himself, whereas you were chosen and made into the man you are by much more talented men. You've probably tried to make Tony feel inferior as a result of your need to be seen as a great hero. The fact that he's made many mistakes in his life and doesn't conform to your outdated values but is still adored by the public and is largely successful, rankles you because you believe that you are a far superior man, and yet you have to share America's love with him now. The intimidation tactic you just tried to use on me with your larger bulk is one you've used on many people who you consider to be bullies- probably on Tony too, which is another reason you don't like him; he doesn't respond by conceding to your will- makes you a hypocrite. In short, your arrogance and childish tendencies makes you pathetic, because you have no knowledge or skills developed of your own merit to back them up. And good luck trying to throw us out. There, John, see, I can restrain myself because I haven't even mentioned the-"

"Yes, alright," John cut his friend off, "Don't ruin it now."

Steve was frozen where he stood, completely caught off guard at how he just had portions of his reality thrown at his feet. Even the things that he wouldn't even admit to himself had been voiced and Steve noticed Banner and Thor look at him sideways, as if trying to figure out if any of the fast-paced ramble was true. Natasha and Clint were staring at the tall stranger, the latter with shocked awe and the former with unguarded suspicion. It was the sight of the curly haired man's smug smirk that brought him out of his surprise, anger easily taking its place. He wanted to know how he had done it, but mostly he wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. He opened his mouth to speak his mind and make the man back down-

-And was interrupted by Stark stumbling out the doorway that led towards the private elevator, and subsequently the labs. The man looked as though he had been subsisting off coffee alone, and it was likely that he hadn't slept in over 36 hours, but Steve knew from experience that the genius could shrug all that off if the situation asked of it.

"-Jeez, Bruce, that smells great! What did you say it was again?" Stark looked up at the lack of response and, to the Avengers' shock, he didn't even blink at the sight of the Clint, Natasha, Banner and Thor sitting at the dining table while Steve and the curly haired man faced off with John standing to the side. Before anyone could say anything, however, he broke into an honest, wide grin- which surprised the Avengers, who didn't get to see it often (except Bruce)- and began addressing the strangers.

"When the hell did you get here!? JARVIS, why didn't you tell me they were here?- Scratch that- Why didn't you tell me they were coming?"

"Because you told him that he didn't need to with your friends, if they were just coming as friends." The taller man answered immediately and JARVIS put in an "Indeed, sir".

"Stark." Natasha interjected after Stark's "Oh yeah," "Who are they and how did he do that trick with Steve?" She demanded.

"Oh right, guys, meet the Avengers- yes, I know it's a stupid name, and yes, I know you know who they are, but I really want to introduce them-; Dr Hyde, Stars & Spangles, Katniss' Renaissance, Thigh-Choker and Goldilocks the not-Viking." The Avengers looked Stark, completely unimpressed, before he continued, seemingly oblivious. "Avengers, this is NCIS: London; Shirley Temple and Captain Doctor-Blogger-"

"-Sherlock Holmes and John Watson." John interjected helpfully with a slight eye roll and the taller man- Sherlock Holmes- twitched his lips in an imperceptible smile. Steve heard Clint inhale sharply and saw Natasha's eyes widen in a rare display of surprise, but he noticed that Banner and Thor didn't seem any more informed than he was.

"Hang on, the British Consulting Detective and the decorated Army Doctor!?" Everyone looked to Clint as he exclaimed. "Tony, you're friends with the Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson?"

Stark just shrugged. "Yeah."

Clint stared for a moment before shaking his head and muttering something that sounded like "'Yeah,' he says 'Yeah' like it's no big deal that he's apparently besties with Sherlock Holmes and John Watson".

Natasha's line of enquiry was far more direct. "How, where and when did you meet? When did you three become friends?"

Stark gave her a shifty look. "We met a while back at a place, where a thing happened and we did another thing." He clearly wasn't planning on elaborating, but the disturbingly large smile that appeared on Holmes' face, coupled with the doctor's grimace, was enough to prompt further questioning. Before anyone could, however, Holmes finished answering Natasha's question.

"We became friends sometime after Tony immediately believed me when I told him that based off the colour of the shoes and the size of the jacket that the... well, that someone was wearing, that he was going to attempt to poison him, and after I immediately believed him when he said he was capable of creating a sentient, independent being out of computer code. He clearly wasn't an idiot, and John liked him, so we eventually became friends."

John looked considering. "Yeah, that just about sums it up." He said after a moment.

"Hey, not that I'm not happy to see you both, but did you seriously just show up from London, for a social call?" Stark asked suddenly, but with a sort of cautious hope in his eyes.

"Yes. I told John that we'd be hear just in time for a home cooked Indian dinner, and that you would be bored out of your mind." Holmes deadpanned. "And because I'm bored already, we're going to chase down criminals- after you and John have eaten. I've already found us a case."

Stark grinned, slow and wide. "Yes! The game is on! But after Bruce's curry-thing."