Winning the games was the best thing I've that's ever happened to me. I've got VIP passes to concerts for Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez, and my personal favorite, Keyboard Cat. I FINALLY got a boyfriend. His name is Dylan, and I nicknamed him "brick". He has brown curly hair and is good at cat soccer. Today, I am illegally hunting animals in the forest. Why? I won the Hunger Games and I can do whatever I want. I lit the coal pile on fire, and it at least spiraled up to 10 feet. No punishment. It's like hacking into a pokemon game for unlimited health.
In the forest, I killed a squirrel, a bunny, and a person. I punished them because they were illegally hunting in the forest. IDIOT. They should know not to do that. I mean really, who hunts in an illegal spot. Oh. I do. Nevermind. I'd shoot myself, but that would be pointless. I came back to the fence and found out it was actually on today. The lasers were on, and the only way to get over was to jump from a tree. I had lots of experience from the games because of my "firebird kill" :3 (Halo terminology). I spend most of my time playing Halo and Black ops 2. It's so fun pwning those district 1 noobs.
Anyways, the district has the best caterers. I get free food because I won. I usually eat chocolate bacon and gummy worm-pancakes for breakfast, a bacon sandwich with mayo for lunch, and a Big Mac for dinner. I exercise daily (by wiggling my arms and brushing my teeth) and eat healthily. VERY healthily. Don't forget dessert. A bacon milkshake with chocolate ice cream, chopped oreos, and 2 quarts of whipped cream. Bacon is an important part of a healthy diet.
I was busy playing my usual game of Black Ops (2) with my china lake and L96A1. A guy released an airstrike and killed me several times so I ragequitted. I was trying to find something fun to do, rather than just sitting around all day. I decided to go for a jog around the district. I walked 10 feet, but then decided to turn around because it was too hard. I ordered a chariot (Limos are SO lame) to carry me instead. They arrived within 10 minutes of calling, so I gave them a 3.17$ tip, while wasting all of the extra change I had. They started debating about who would get the extra penny, so I took 17 cents back. Even number.
They took me around the town and I waved to everyone. It was a pleasant jog around town (except the people did the jog for me) until it got a little weird. A gang of dudes (yes dudes) tackled the pullers. They fell over and started punching the chariot. I hopped out, grabbed my wallet, and ran as fast as I could. The food must've had a negative effect on me, because the guy caught up to me. He pushed me to the ground and said "This is what you get for letting Peeta die". He pulled out a knife and was about to stab me when Peeta pushes the guy over. "Peeta!" I say, "We have so much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back-street. You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey now, you're a rockstar, get your show on, get laid-" I get interrupted by a slap, straight to the face. "Owwwwie! Ok, no more songs." I screech, and say regretfully.
Right now, you're probably wondering why Peeta is still alive. Well, he was alive. After the games, they took his body to experiment on. They knew it would fail, so they tested on the least important. Turns out, their theory was proved. The actually brought Peeta back to life. No, not a zombie or anything. Alive. Everyone was confused on what happened, and one pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He approached me but I jerked my head back. Do not want to kiss a dead person.
It was almost time for the victory parade. This is when I have to parade around the districts (and the Capitol) and have feasts with the mayors. Yuk. I have to share a table with President Snow. I don't know why, but he seems so... malicious. Oh well, it's probably because Peeta and I survived in the original book and President Snow wants to kill us. (SPOILER #5) ! You've read your fifth spoiler from this series! If you haven't read the book(s), then you probably want to chop my head off with a banana. Too bad I haven't told you my address.