Disclaimer: The lovely characters are owned by JoJo Moyers. I sadly am just borrowing them.
Unsteady by X Ambassador
P.O.V- Will Turner
I stared out the same bloody window, day after day counting down the days till my time is up. Just barely living, if you could call my life living. Ironically in my last few hours that's what I've been doing staring out a bloody window but instead of wishing to finally die, I'm wishing Lou was here. My sweet loving Lou, with her favorite bumblebee tights, but she's not my Lou. My eyes water at the thought that I will never see Lou again.
I look over at my mother pretending that my choice to end my existence isn't crashing down on her, like the waves on the beach where Lou and I went on our holiday; my last holiday. My father next to her with is arm around her waist almost as if he is keeping her from collapsing where she stands. Now my father choose to show my mother she's not alone and pretend that he doesn't go off to see some tart when she's gone.
I felt my mother slip her hand in to mine as I turned my head to stare back at the window. Closing my eyes I picture our last night on the beach, I almost can feel the sea breeze on my face, feel Lou's soft full lips on mine. I let my thoughts travel and picture her at the concert, wearing that beautiful red dress with her eyes full of excitement and wonder.
My eyes snap open when I hear this soft knock, so soft that I almost don't believe anyone knocked. My eyes still trained on the window as my mother lets who I assumed to be a nurse in. Then I hear it, the sweetest voice I've ever had the pleasure of hearing. I turn my head to look at her, standing like an angel in the door way.
"Well, now at least I won't die of boredom." I smile at her, a smile that she returns but it doesn't quite reach her glassy watery eyes.
I ask my family for a few moments alone with Louisa. Neither one of us speaks a till we hear the quiet click of the door shutting. I open my hand to Lou silently begging her to take it. I follow her ever movement with my eyes as she walks closer to take my hand. I'm thankful today is a good day and that my mind isn't blurred from the pain medicine. We sit like this for a few moments before I ask her to lie down next to me. I watch her as she slips out for her black shoes and for the first time I notice she's wearing her bumblebee tights. I meet her eyes as she climbs in and my heart breaks. Damn why did I have to look in her eyes and see all the pain I am causing her. It's almost enough to ask her to leave, but I'm too selfish of a man; I need her here with me.
She lays her head on my chest right over my heart; she takes my hand gripping it tight.
"Hold on to me Will…I can't do this if you don't" She whispers softly sniffling holding her tears at bay, fight every bit of herself to keep steady. We lay there in the quiet for what seems like hours before she sits up and looks at me with the few tears that she let escape trailing down her face. She opens her mouth to say something but I cut her off.
"Don't please. Please don't ask me again not to go through if it. Because truth is told, I can't bare the idea of not seeing you again. But I don't want to live with this pain anymore. I couldn't bear to put you though having a man who is a cripple." I watch her face as she tries to find some finally way to argue with me. But I can see she's just as unsteady as everyone else.
"I love you." I almost didn't hear her whisper those 3 little words, which caused my own dam to break.
"I love you too." I whisper as she lies her head back down on my chest. We stay like this for a while finally calling my family back in but I never let go off her hand and she never lets go of me. We sit and laugh with my family as they share the embarrassing tales that made up my childhood.
Till the nurse and doctor comes in telling us it's time.