Every Kid's Worst Nightmare: The First Job
Disclaimer: If I had owned TT, I think I would have tried to include the Powerpuff Girls, which was my obsession throughout my youth.
The sun beamed down on Jump City, warming the often wet and gloomy streets, allowing the growth of grass and flowers, a perfect excuse for people and children to take their dogs out for a long stroll.
That's exactly what Más, Menos, Melvin, Timmy, and Teether were dying for as they held up scarlet arrows with LEARN RUSSIAN TODAY written in white, surrounding the Russian Embassy of Jump City. Más' back was soaked, Menos tried luring in custodians by dancing to "Starstrukk" by 3OH!3 and Katy Perry, using movements to point to the building. Melvin began fanning herself with her arrow, Timmy sat with the arrow on his lap and wiped sweat from his brow, and Teether sucked on his pacifier as he pointed the arrow tip to the embassy.
Hidden behind a parked UPS truck, Raven, Red Star, and Bumblebee sweltered in the T-Car, watching the five youngest Titans attempting their first jobs. Raven gulped from her water bottle and brushed her wet hair out of her face. "Thanks, Red Star," she said breathlessly, "this is the ideal first job for the kids."
"First jobs?" Bumblebee huffed as the AC struggled to cool her down. Geez, Sparky needed to update his baby somehow. "I think you're looking at the very first of odd jobs they'll do before they become actual 'teens.'"
She grimaced when Menos started to shake his backside and point his hips to the embassy, jabbing his fingers at the front entrance. His twin yawned and darted around a hornet buzzing around his tuft of orange hair. Melvin looked longingly at the hot dog stand across the street from her, Teether pulled his pacifier out of his mouth, and Timmy broke his thumb-sucking habit as he waited.
Red Star, who was sitting in the back, shook his head at the children he trusted to attract public interest in the embassy's brand new offer of Russian-language classes. When he heard that the embassy was offering the courses, he agreed to volunteer as their ambassador, one of his first tasks to hire people who could increase interest in foreign language classes.
"I initially planned to have them set up and pass around flyers, but I didn't trust the baby with the staple gun," he admitted.
"Oh no, Menos, stop dancing," Bumblebee moaned as Menos stripped off his shirt and began twirling it around. If the boys were here, they would be dying from laughing too hard. Bumblebee, however, found this completely disrespectful and inappropriate. Raven watched Melvin swing around her arrow and accidentally slam the tip against her eye.
"Ooh…" she grimaced, cringing as she watched the girl struggle to hold in her tears. Melvin's arrow fell out of her hands as she shielded her face and jerked her head back and forth, muttering about the pain. "Someone might need a little custard tonight...how much are you paying them?"
Red Star groaned and shook his head. "Obviously too much, are you watching these terrible tykes?"
Now Teether was biting down on and sucking on the tip of his arrow, Timmy was playing rocket ship with his arrow, Melvin kept checking her nose for nosebleeds, Menos was riding his arrow like a horse, and Más was picking his nose and trying to take a bite of a distracted little boy's cotton candy fluff.
At this point a young man holding twelve leashes with twelve different dogs and puppies walked by, a tiny terrier panting and sticking its tongue out at Teether, a Great Dane licking Timmy's feet while the boy laughed, Melvin scratching the ears of a dalmatian, a pug lapping the perspiration off Menos' face, and a golden retriever nearly jumping atop Más.
The dog walker paused so the children could admire the darling animals when a massive truck drove by, chiming ice cream tunes, and advertising the latest Popsicles and ice cream sandwiches. Suddenly the twins and tykes threw aside their arrows and dashed, either with shoes or barefoot, after the ice cream truck.
Raven's mouth dropped, Bumblebee blinked, and Red Star hung his head.
The dogs barked and yanked out of the dog walker's hold, chasing the children while the dog walker struggled to catch up with the other dogs. The twins screamed Spanish insults and Timmy wailed while Melvin waved her arms around and Teether somehow attached himself to the truck, failing to suck on the popsicle on the vehicle wall.
Raven pushed her face into her hand, and Red Star whistled a mourning tune in Russian under his breath. "I think I should have hired normal children," he moaned.
Bumblebee watched as the children disappeared behind a memorial statue. "You mean...normal children who are actually reliable, lactose-intolerant, and are not dog-magnets."
"Let's hope this trial actually works than five little sticky fingers who either speak too fast, carry imaginary friends everywhere, cling to security blankets, or mistaken everything for a chew toy," Red Star muttered as he looked between Raven and Bumblebee.
In front of the embassy, Silkie held up the LEARN RUSSIAN TODAY arrow by lying on his back and using his larvae legs to support the cardboard. Then he set down the arrow, crawled on top, and tried sucking on it.
Raven pressed her lips together. "Starfire also mention that he himself thinks everything is edible?"
The three Titans watched the larvae move around the arrow and try to attract people in the weirdest ways. However, two people did sign up for the lessons, which was a two percent increase from when the twins and tykes advertised the job.
Secret: Not a day goes by where I don't miss the old days when this show aired every Saturday night, and each episode ending made me eagerly await the next new episode.