Disclaimer: I do not own Wreck-it Ralph or CATS or RENT.
Summary: A baby is born to a couple in Fix-it Felix Jr. and Wreck-it Ralph finds the baby annoying. Can Mr. Mistoffeless and Vanellope help him learn about parenthood.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The sound of the new baby's cry woke up Wreck-it Ralph and Mr. Mistoffeless who was having a sleepover in Fix-it Felix Jr. (They just installed a karaoke game right next to Sugar Rush).
"That's it!" Ralph thought "I'm gonna wreck it!" He ran up to the building but he fell asleep from the tiredness of 2 hours of crying from baby Sofia Jones. Why do they have Sofia anyway? What is she programmed to do in the game other than cry every time Ralph breaks her window and various other times of the day?
Ralph climbed up the building and started smashing windows. Everyone said tiredly. "FIX-IT FELIX!"
Felix was woken up by the screaming of his people. He ground. He pulled himself to the building, grabbed his magic hammer and said:
'I can fix it." Then he started fixing the broken windows an reason with Ralph at the same time.
"He need to learn a lesson on parenthood," thought Mistoffeless as he watched them climb the building, fixing and wrecking for no real reason at all. "Maybe he could talk with Vanellope von Schweetz about help?"
The Next Day In Sugar Rush
Ralph arrived on the 7:30 train at Sugar Rush. He took a shower—and sang 1D as loud as he can in the process of it. He was all ready to see Vanellope, and the outside world beyond the arcade. Munkustrap told him earlier about the week outside. Vanellope had to come with him. It just won't be fun without her little smile, comforting him when he felt lonely.
"Vanellope!" he cried when he entered the castle " President Vanellope!"
Just then Sour Bill walked in.
"Her royal adorableness is still sleeping." He declared. "She will wake up and likely will need a bath, a changing and a bottle-to be done in that order-she is such a sweetie! So cute and tiny!" Wait! changing! Can't 9-year-olds dress themselves? She is one year from a decade!
"Wait!" Ralph said "Did you say bottle?" Sour Bill paused and looked at Ralph and said in his usually monotone voice;
"Yes she is only four-months-old Mr. Ralph of Fix-it Felix Jr. 1982." Sour Bill continued walking and talking "How old do you think she was? 9?" Actually, that was what Ralph thought. Sour Bill stopped a pink coloured door.
"May I present," he said "Her Royal Adorableness Vanellope Honey Blossom von Schweetz Princess of Sugar Rush 1997." He opened the door. It all surprised Ralph. The room was BABYPROOF! There was a table with a plastic baby bath the colour of Vanellope's licorice hair bow and it was next to a change table with powder, wipes and a see-through bucket of distraction toys. There was a crib with a mobile of candy hearts that say I love you.
Ralph looked inside the crib. in it was the most adorable baby in the whole arcade. She was sleeping and was wrapped in turquoise blue. The baby oddly resembled Vanellope-only shorter and didn't have such a quick wit. She had a baby size bow in her hair and a turquoise soothie in her mouth. The time on Sour Bill's watch said; 7:42 am.
"According to my watch she shall be awaking in 5...4...3...2..." Then Baby Vanellope began to cry and Ralph panic! What does she want? When Vanellope's crying increased Ralph panic more and hard a nervous look on his face
"Cool it." Bill said emotionlessly. "She just wants to be cleaned. Then new diaper than fed." So Ralph picked up the crying baby. Light brown eyes and midnight black hair. It WAS Vanellope! He walked over to the baby bath. Sour Bill filled it with bath with warm water and Ralph placed the baby. With the help of Sour Bill he washed Vanellope.
Then Sour Bill selected a lovely outfit for the baby to wear. He gave Ralph a sweet turquoise baby dress. He commanded him to dress Vanellope while he gets her breakfast ready.
Like all babies. Vanellope wiggled and screamed even with a candy coloured rattle while Ralph so nervously removed dootie-filled diaper, cleaned, applied powder and put a new Huggies diaper. By the end of it, Vanellope was a clean, but hungry.
Just then Sour Bill walked in with a turquoise capped bottle full of baby formula.
"Princess Vanellope Honey Blossom von Schweetz of the von Schweetz family, breakfast is served." He said. He handed the bottle to Wreck-it Ralph and Wreck-it Ralph fed her the bottle. While she gulped the bottle, Vanellope's eyes closed almost like she was programmed to close her eyes while drinking her bottle. It was the cutest thing Ralph has ever seen. He can't wait to show her to Mark and his friends.