Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.. Bleh!
Warning: Possible ooc, yaoi
Rating: M (just in case)
Pairings: Gaa-Neji, Sasu-Naru, Ino-Sakur, Tema-Shika, Hina-Haku

AN: Hmm, I have always loved the Neji-Gaara pairings and I thought of making a little fic about them. Bare with me folks, this is my first Naruto fic. If I get good reviews, I will write more. kisses 3 (first chapter is kind of boring. Character intro/background)

-Journal writing
-Gaara's voice inside his head
-'abc' - thinking
-"abc" - conversation

Chapter 1: My companion, my enemy

'Get the fuck out of my head already'

Haha, sorry to disappoint you but.. I'm here to stay

'You got and did what you wanted'

I'm obviously not satisfied yet..

This monster was chasing Gaara, not wanting him to get away. "Leave me alone!" was all Gaara could say while he ran into the darkness. Panic and fear was the only thing he can feel right now. He felt something grab his ankles. Gaara fell flat on his face on the dark concrete. That monster was pulling him, it was now grabbing his waist and now his neck. "Somebody help!" yelled Gaara. It was choking him, holding him tight. Gaara knew that if he called for help again that it will be no use. Gaara was alone. Alone with this monster. He felt something hot and musty on his ear. The monster's face was inches away from his. The voice, so evil, suddenly said in a hiss "Your death will be my satisfaction, you pathetic fuck!"

Gaara opened his eyes after coming out of one of those dreams. He hated those dreams. It was the reason why Gaara had so much trouble sleeping at night. Sometimes it would talk to him while he was doing normal everyday things. Its always happening when he was confused or angry. He often wondered 'why me?'. He looked out the window of the passenger seat wondering if this move will cure him of his insanity. He turned to face his brother who was driving the car. Kankuro could see his little brother staring at him from the side of his eye. "What are you staring at twerp?" he asked. Gaara ignored this and continued to look out the window.

Kankuro gave an annoyed look. 'Why the hell does he always have to do that? It annoys the fuck out of me' he thought. Ever since the incident two years ago, ever since that day, Gaara has been to himself. He stopped talking to people. Gaara would do the occasional nod but that was it. It was the reason why his older brother has been pissed off at him lately. All three had a good relationship back then. Kankuro always wondered why Gaara had to ignore them too. It didn't make sense. 'It's just not fair!' Kankuro thought. Temari could see the annoyed face Kankuro made through the side mirror. She knew how he felt. She was hurt by all this. Temari loves her little brother so much. She always wished he could be the same cheerful, loving, happy boy again. She closed her eyes as she tried to think of something else.

Gaara knew how hurt his siblings were. He cared about them, really, he did. They are the only ones he got. But he feels that if he gets close to anybody, anybody he loved or cared for, that the monster will just come and ruin everything for him. So Gaara decided to keep everything to himself thinking it's the best way to keep them safe. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head on the cold window.

You are weak, you are pathetic

'Shut up!"

Make me

'I said, shut up!"

No one wants you! Your are just a piece of shit no one wants!

"Stop! I said STOP!" Gaara yelled. Gaara didn't realize he yelled this out loud until he heard the screech of Kankuro's car and his sister's scream. "Holy shit Gaara! Were you trying to get us killed!" Kankuro said breathing frantically. "You're lucky I didn't hit something!" he said as he pulled his car on the road again. He stared at his little brother who was now glaring angrily at the glove compartment. "You ok?" Temari asked as she put a hand on her little brother's shoulder. Gaara just shoved it away continuing to glare at the glove compartment. She knew what had happened. Sometimes she wishes she could just jump inside Gaara's head and beat up whoever was doing this to her little brother. It hurt her a lot. She took something out of her black messenger bag. "Here Gaara take these." Temari suggested. It was Gaara's medication. Gaara said nothing and obeyed his sister.


Flashback...

"Don't fucking touch me! I'm not going to stay at this drunk's house!" Kankuro yelled at the officers. "Son, you don't have a choice." one of the police officer said. Kankuro was the only one resisting as Gaara and Temari obeyed the officers. They were going to stay at their uncles house for a while. Yashamaru greeted the officers and gave the children a sad look.

Yashamaru was a drunk, but he was the only family left that they knew so they had no choice. Temari was just sixteen while Kankuro was fifteen back then. Gaara was almost turning twelve. This was when Gaara received his journal. Temari gave it to him on his twelfth birthday. She told him that it helped her get through rough times and that maybe it will help him too. He gladly accepted it and has been using it to this day. "Gaara what are you doing!" Temari yelled as she saw her little brother making little cuts on his arms. He was alone in his room. "Temari, it helps the pain go away" Gaara said crying. "Who taught you this!" she yelled at him. "I saw Kankuro do it when he was sad." he tried to explain. "Gaara, sweetie, Kankuro stopped doing it a long time ago. He just got more hurt when he did it." Temari said. "But, it makes the hurt in my head go away!" Gaara said bawling as he hugged his sister tightly.

Ever since that day Yashamaru sent Gaara to a psychologist. The psychologist prescribed him pills thinking it might help with his sudden outbursts.

End of flashback...


"I think were here guys" Kankuro said in a cheerful voice. 'Thank god' thought Gaara. Temari started squealing "Oh! Its just like what your friend Tayuya said Kankuro! I'm so excited! I'm glad she suggested this place to us." Gaara looked at his sister as she said this and made a small "humph" noise and looked away. Kanoha was sure different from their old hometown near the desert. Gaara was going to miss dirt biking. It was his only escape. Jumping the dunes makes him forget all the miserable things that's been happening to him. He won't be able to do that here. They have four seasons in Kanoha. But he's glad he's finally out of the old little town. Bad memories linger there. Gaara shivered at the thought of Yashamaru's face as he kicked the three children out of his house.

Flashback...

Yashamaru was fed up with the children's attitude. One quiet night as Yashamaru guzzled down his 7th bottle of beer, he went to Gaara's room as he found him sitting at his window sill staring out the window. "Daydreaming again eh? Lazy little bastard!" he yelled. Gaara just kept continuing to look at the stars. "Did you hear what I fucking said!" he said angrily at Gaara. Gaara has seen his uncle like this a lot of times to know just to ignore him. But that night was different. Something hard hit Gaara, right at his temple. Gaara gave a small yelp when it made contact with him. It was a small glass figurine that his mother gave him the last time he saw her.

Laughing, Yashamaru said "Aw, did the lazy bastard get hurt?". Gaara touched his temple and felt warm fluid. He stared at his hand in a panic. Yashamaru has never hit him before, I mean, he would be an ass sometimes but not going too far as to hit his nieces and nephews. 'Not you too Yashamaru…' Gaara thought sadly. "You deserve more than that idiot" he laughed. There was silence. Gaara was scared. All of a sudden his uncle said in a voice not heard by Gaara before "You killed my sister." His voice was so deep and frightening. 'What is he talking about?' Gaara thought. "W- what are you t- talking about?" Gaara asked cautiously. "Don't play stupid with me boy, you caused my sister to run away from your house! She died damnit! She's dead all because of you!" Yashamaru yelled. "N- no! That's not true! Not true!" Gaara yelled back.

Yashamaru grabbed another foreign object from Gaara's desk as he tried to attempt another throw at the already frightened boy. But something grabbed the man's wrist before he can cause harm to his target. It was Kankuro. "Leave him alone old man!" he yelled. "The alcohol has gotten to you! Leave Gaara alone!" Yashamaru got loose from Kanuro's grip and slapped his face hard. "Get the fuck out of my house! All of you! You are all just a burden in my life!" he yelled. "Gladly!" Kankuro said almost in a growl.

End of flashback...


The trio was soon passing through their soon to be neighborhood. Gaara was surveying everything. They passed by a park with parents playing with their children. Gaara cringed at this. 'Lucky brats' he thought.

"Here we are! 8916 Sarmie Place." Temari said cheerfully. "Finally our own place! Saving up your money worked out well didn't it Kankuro?" she said. "Uh, now I'm broke as hell" he said. Gaara got out of the car and put on his headphones. Loud music filled his ears.

He casually went in the front door not saying a word as Temari opened the front door of their apartment. "This is my room!" "Damn you! I picked this room first!" he could hear his siblings arguing. Gaara decided to pick the room facing the park. Small and simple. 'Perfect' he thought.

After he settled in and unpacked, Gaara decided to turn to his journal writing. He picked his window sill to sit. That way he can write and survey the people passing by. Gaara had a hobby of doing that. Maybe to compare his life with theirs. Who knows?

This place sucks.

'Shutup, so do you'

Yum, a new recipe for trouble.

'Hmph, you can try… I won't let you'

We'll see about that

Gaara closes his eyes tight as he tries to get rid of the voice inside his head. He opened his black book with the velvet trimmings and opened his window to let in the fresh air.

April 26

We're finally here. I guess the place is ok. I miss my dirt bike though. We were such in a hurry to get here. Kankuro's friend helped us get this place. His dad owns the complex. Tomorrow is the first day of school in Kanoha. Shit. I wonder if they are going to be the same. Same as the other kids at my school. Would they call me weird? Would they call me strange? Argh! I miss Dosu. My only friend. Can you believe that? I'm such a loser.

What am I going to wear? Ah, what am I thinking. I don't give a crap. I'm in my new room, I can smell Temari's cooking. Temari isn't a cook to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact the whole house smells like a burning tire. I brought my laptop with me. I hope Dosu signs on online. I need to tell him…

Gaara stopped his writing as he heard a bunch of boys laughing. They were passing by his window. One was a boy with raven colored hair and dark eyes. He had his arms crossed and was snickering at his friend with long hair. It was long and silky. Was it a girl? The long haired boy turned around and showed a pretty face. But Gaara heard his voice. Never mind, it's a boy. He could hear him saying "I can't believe that creepy guy just pinched my ass!".

Some more laughter. Another boy with long hair said "That's what you get for looking like a girl." "Hey! Its not my fault I was blessed with such beautiful features!".

Gaara was eyeing this boy with the long hair. Not the girl looking one. The one with those big silver eyes. He was mesmerized, he couldn't stop staring. Suddenly he heard "Hey, dude up there! Do you have a staring problem?" The boys snickered.

They were all looking at Gaara. Gaara turned pink and closed his windows as fast as he could. The boys continued to laugh as they walked away. The silver eyed boy turned his head back and looked at the window. 'I've never seen him before' he thought. Gaara sat on his bed still pink with embarrassment . He decided to continue on his journal.

Holy shit. I can't believe I did that. Why the hell did I keep staring like a fucking retard. Now they probably think I'm some weirdo. Way to make first impressions Gaara. They laughed at me (sad face). Those eyes were… well… beautiful? Wow, I cant believe I just wrote that.

Am I really into guys like Dosu said? He did say something about me blushing and staring if a hot guy passes by. No, I'm not gay. Am I? Ah! I'm so confused. Dad was homophobic. He would call people fags if he saw two guys together. Maybe that's why I'm afraid to admit? I don't get me sometimes. Dad's not here anymore. He's not here to call me a fag.

-Very confused, Gaara

You are a fag

'Leave me alone'

"Gaara! Chicken is done!" cried Temari. "Gaara be careful it taste like something I dissected in school!" yelled Kankuro. "Oh screw you!" Temari said as Gaara heard her punch Kankuro. He couldn't help but give a small chuckle. Gaara couldn't argue with his brother. The first floor smelled like something inside Kankuro's shoe after he just ran 5 miles.

AN: What did you think? Teehee.. review plz.