"The Newlywed Game"
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, let's welcome our wives back to the stage. Ladies, you may sit once again with your husbands." The crowd in the lounge applauded us as we walked across the stage.
I was eager to rejoin Edward after spending the last few minutes with the other two women backstage. Edward had been so excited to volunteer us for the "Newlywed, Not-so Newlywed Game" on our honeymoon Caribbean cruise. It sounded like fun, that is till I had to spend time with the competition.
One lady, Phylis, had been married for 51 years. As she clearly told us, this was her thirteenth cruise, and she had made a job out of winning this game on all her cruises because she wanted to take home the grand prize. She looked at me with the look of the devil, sizing me up on my knowledge of my husband of just five days.
She also looked at the other woman, Gloria, in this manner as well. Gloria had been married for sixteen years. She was one of those types that revealed way more than any stranger should ever know. She quickly told us that she suspected her husband was thinking about divorce, and she was hoping a game like this could remind him of the good ol' times. After hearing her speak some more, I wrote her off as bat shit crazy and hoped this was not what I had to look forward to years from now.
At the Cruise Director's request, I made my way back towards Edward who was sitting there with a sly smile on his face. I could only imagine what he had revealed to the public this round. As I settled down next to him, the nerves began to kick in.
"Alright ladies, so just as we did during the last round, we asked your spouses three questions. Let's see if you can guess their responses. The first question I asked them was to tell us the most unusual location you both have made whoopie." The audience grew quiet, anticipating our responses.
"Bella, you go first, dear."
I blushed knowing I was just about to talk about my sex life in front of a room full of complete strangers.
"Umm." I stared at Edward trying to imagine what he had answered. "I would have to say on the balcony of our cabin."
"Oh, you naughty minx," the host teased. "Looks like these two consummated their marriage here on the SS Oceanic, ladies and gentlemen!" The audience roared with laughter. He continued, "Edward, please tell your lovely wife what you told us."
"Bella, I told them it was when I took my father's sailboat, and we went out to that deserted island last year!" He looked at me sadly, perhaps upset that I could forget that wonderful day.
"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, honey." The crowd continued to laugh. Meanwhile, I wanted to hide under the chair.
The Cruise Director then turned to the couple in the middle of the stage. "Gloria, what is your answer, dear?"
"We made love, I mean whoopie, in an elevator at a Hilton." She smiled with pride.
Henry replied, "No, no, no, Gloria. That never happened! The correct answer would be, in the back of my old pinto in the parking lot of a Sizzler's."
Gloria's smile quickly turned into a frown. The future wasn't looking too good for this couple.
"Okay, thanks for sharing you two lovebirds." The host quickly turned towards Phylis.
"We made love in my Mother-in-Law's nursing home room. Rest assured, she was downstairs playing bingo when that happened!"
For an old man, Henry sure had a naughty little grin on his face.
"Yes, that is what Henry said! Looks like you two will hold onto your lead from the first round. Trailing behind you are Bella and Edward, followed by Gloria and Frank. All right, let's move on to our next question." The host turned to face Gloria. "We asked Frank about his favorite dish that you make for him. What do you think he told us?"
"Oh, that is easy. It would be my grandmother's famous recipe for quiche lorraine."
"Frank, you are in the dog house here. Reveal to Gloria your answer please."
Without any humor in his voice, Frank replied, "Nothing. She can't cook to save her life."
Gloria promptly hit him and slumped into her chair. Again, the audience roared enjoying the marital tiff being playing out before their eyes.
"Well, looks like Frank will not be having any whoopie time tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Now, let's see what Phylis has to say!"
"I would guess my dear Henry told you about my chicken cordon bleu."
Henry's smile grew big. "Yes, dear that's exactly right!" The two of them kissed, reveling in their streak of winning answers.
"Well done, yet again! Now, let's see what our newlyweds have to say. Bella?"
I definitely knew this answer. Edward often requested that I cook this dish. "My mushroom ravioli!" I proudly replied.
Edward sadly shook his head. "Darn, you know I love that dish too, honey. But I said your blood orange pork roast dish. It is so good, I can't resist!"
"What? I have only made that dish twice! Edward, you always want that ravioli." I could hear the tone of my voice was starting to reveal my frustration.
"Well, Bella, at least he likes your cooking unlike another couple on this stage!" I could hear Gloria growling over the host's comment.
He finally moved on to the last question. I was ready for this exercise in extreme embarrassment to be done with. Edward was so going to pay for subjecting me to this humiliation.
"Ladies, what would your spouse say was the last thing the two of you argued about? We'll start with Phylis."
"I'm going to have to say we last fought because I bought a few too many items on QVC." She smiled innocently at Henry, even batting her eyes for extra measure.
"That's what I said, dear!" The two of them beamed with pride as the host reminded the crowd that they had matched every question of the game. It looked like Phylis had no reason to be so annoyingly competitive backstage.
The host now looked straight at me. "Bella, tell us all about your last argument with Edward."
"I wanted to be a vampire, well, I wanted both of us to be vampires for a recent Halloween party. He refused and said my idea was too obvious. We went with his idea of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf."
"Edward, please tell Bella what you shared with us."
"I said, I didn't want for us to be vampires. But in my defense, I told the crowd, I wished I went with your idea after all because being a wolf for Halloween was kinda lame."
"Exactly! But you are forgiven." I kissed Edward on the lips, happy to see we had at least gotten one answer correct this round.
"Look at them getting all lovey-dovey on stage. Finally now, let's see what Gloria has to say."
"This one is easy. Just the other day we fought about him not cleaning up the garage. It's so bad, we can't even park our car in there!"
"Frank?"
"I said we argued because Gloria was mad we hadn't had sex in six months." Gloria turned as red as a stop sign and promptly smacked him on the knee. It almost looked like there were tears in her eyes. I actually felt kind of bad for her.
And so the game finally came to an end. Edward and I shook hands with Gloria and Frank and then congratulated the winning couple. The host presented us with a second prize gift of a bottle of champagne which Edward and I promptly took to our cabin.
After enjoying a glass of bubbly out on the balcony, Edward sat on the bed and flipped on the television allowing me some time to change into something a little bit more sexy.
"Oh, Edward, that was so embarrassing in front of all those people! They all now know where we have had sex!" I yelled out from the bathroom. "But, at least it was only the people in that lounge tonight and not in front of *all* of the passengers!"
"Um, honey, can you come out here please?" Edward asked.
I stepped out of the bathroom, expecting him to eye me up and down like he normally did when I wore such skimpy clothes. Instead, all I could see was guilt written across his face.
"Bella, look," he pointed to the television. "I'm so sorry."
I could see my face on the screen. Turns out the cruise ship had filmed the game show and was airing it on their TV channel.
With words unnecessary, I promptly turned around and headed back to the bathroom. He was so not getting any tonight.
A/N: This story is *loosely* based on a true story. My husband and I participated in this game on our honeymoon cruise. I had no idea the kinds of saucy questions the Cruise Director had in store for us. They were far more sassy then those posed by Bob Eubanks on TV.
This little fic was written when I participated in the Fictionista WitFit challenge. It was a great way for me to test my writing chops and be creative. Each day, participants get new prompts so as to spark a story idea. This story was written based on the prompt word of the day, "oceanic." To see *all* of my WitFit entries, please refer to my page on live journal. The link is in my profile page.
Please note: All my stories/drabbles for WitFit are not beta'd. I take full credit for my grammar issues! Please click the review button. I would love to hear your thoughts.
xoxo, FLC