Disclaimer: I do not own the teen titans or vampire weekend.

*Cyborg's POV

"Score!" I shouted as I hung up the phone. I had just won a contest and got two tickets to a Vampire Weekend concert. I was elated.

"Why are you shouting?" Robin asked as he entered the living room. He plopped down on the big black sofa. Although I'd rather he sat down on the big black Cyborg.

"Dude! I just scored tickets to an awesome show!" A huge smile ran across my whole face, ear to ear. "Vampire Weekend!"

"Hmph. Never heard of them. Are they any good?" He asked. He ran his hand through his hair.

"WHAT!?!?!?! You've never heard of them?!?!!? They're amazing!" I said. He sure has been missing out.

"Maybe I'll check them out." He said casually.

This was my chance to go out with Robin. I made my move. "I have two tickets. You wanna come with me to the concert? It should be fun."

"Yeah I guess so. Star is working tonight so I have no plans." He smiled. Blast, I had forgotten that he and Starfire were currently dating. Well, I still wanted to give it a shot.

"Cool. Be ready by five thirty. It takes forty minutes to get there." I replied.

He nodded.

********

As we were driving, Robin sang along to some songs on the radio. Wow, this was going to be a great first date! Robin was looking sexy in his black t-shirt and distressed jeans. Thank goodness for my metal underwear, otherwise It would have been erection town up in there! We conversed the whole way to the concert.

When we got there, some unknown opening band was playing. We settled into our seats. They were right behind two big metal bars. Fantastic. I played it cool, though.

"Great seats!" I remarked unsarcastically. I wanted him to think they were good seats.

"What are you talking about? These are horrible seats!" Robin replied. Oh no, this was not going as planned.

"No it's okay. It's about the music anyway." I tried to save the date.

"Yeah, that's true." He agreed. What a relief!

Just then, the lights dimmed and Vampire weekend came on. I got so excited that I shouted and I jumped up and went straight into one of the poles, which knocked me right back into my seat. It was so embarrassing! Robin must have thought I was an idiot. Neither of us said anything. I pooped a little.

Vampire weekend played for a while. I was rocking out and bobbing my head along with the beat. I knew all the words to their songs. Robin's face was mixed throughout the night. Sometimes he looked happy, other times tired. I just was hoping he had enjoyed the concert, and spending time with me.

When we got back into the car, I asked Robin what he thought of Vampire Weekend. He looked sweaty. So attractive!

"Are you kidding? They sucked! Everything was off beat, the songs sucked and the singer was just…plain awful!" He replied. I was shocked, and devastated.

"Oh…" It was silence on the way back to the tower.

"Hey guys! How was the concert?" Asked Starfire as we walked in. She was still in her work attire which consisted of a sparkly bra and skimpy panties, not to mention her 3 or 4 inch heels and fishnets.

"They were great!" I chimed.

"More like terrible. They sucked." Robin walked to the fridge to get some water.

"You know, I was nice enough to take you out on a date. The least you could do is be gracious." I had had enough with his attitude! At that moment, I wished my name was Ignacious. I'm not sure why.

"Date? Ew that wasn't a date! I'm not gay, I'm with Starfire. Get a clue." He grabbed Starfire's waist. She looked like she was about to burst out in laughter, but she held It in.

"I….I just thought there was a chance…I mean, I felt a connection. It kills me every time I hear Star moan at night. I just wish you'd make me moan." I looked him in the eye.

"EW. THAT'S NASTY. I'm not gay and I'm sorry if I lead you on, but nothing will ever happen. Get over it." Starfire laughed hysterically and walked away.

I let out a fart, which turned into a poop. And a poop turned into many poops. And many poops turned into a pool of diarrhea surrounding me.

"Oh." I bit my lip. "I pooped."

THE END

By the way, vampire weekend sucks.

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