Alec's fist clenched around the phone in his hand and tossed it across the room angrily with a short yell that vibrated with frustration.
His arms went to wrap around himself protectively, hugging his sides tightly as he laid his head back against the headboard of his bed. His legs shook as he fought the cold-fought the tears, and the overwhelming sadness.
How could he do this to me?
The black haired Shadowhunter shut his eyes. His bangs flopped across his forehead as he shifted around; trying to find comfort in the lack of warmth that was usually next to him. Magnus had said no one else had made him feel this way. He swore that even if he lived after Alec did, he would never love this way again. He told him he would be there no matter what, he would always be willing to listen or help or whatever- he said his door would always be open and his phone always free.
But now..
Alec had tried again and again to call but he hung up after the first ring-his heart pounding so hard he thought he was being hammered. The blood was rushing in his ears and he blindly forgot what he was going to say. So he snapped and tossed the phone somewhere unseen. Then he would cry and retrieve it while shivering and whimpering softly.
The pattern had continued several hours before now. As his neck bent back he wondered what it was like to live forever. Would any promises matter anymore? How would it feel to see endless suffering and deaths and centuries of culture change?
To love over and over.
And no matter what, always lose them.
Alec's heart suddenly ached and he groaned. Of course he could sympathize. Of course he could understand why Magnus wouldn't want to keep another relationship. Of course it would be easier to just fool around. No attachment. No pain.
He sat up quickly and, on shaking legs, made it across the floor to where his phone had now ended up. He collapsed by it and clutched at it like it could take away all his pain. And by the Angel he knew it could. All it took was one button... Three words... One plea. One promise. He just wanted him so bad.
Alec ran a hand through his hair and grumbled incoherent words to himself. He was too weak, after all. His fingers gave way and the phone clattered back to the hard floor. All his training could not prepare him for this. All his disconcern and apathy. For nothing.
Magnus had broken him, broken his walls, and now...
Broke his heart.