A/N: I suggest checking out my other one-shot Of Shimmers and Glimmers to get the whole feel for this story. Yes, I do exaggerate. But I think it's kind of funny. I've got mixed opinions on the real story myself, but I do respect the author. Okay, here we go.
( A party at the Smella estate…)
Smella and Drake the Werewolf are disco boggeying to Lady Googoo's Joker Ace. They then notice that the disco ball of sparkles has stopped turning; the pair look up to see that Ednerd has smashed the disco ball with his incredible strength and is posing to tie himself to the cubic zirconium encrusted rafters to confess his 'literally' undying love for Smella.
"Smella!" Ednerd harkens his fair lass (well, really unfair cause she like dumped him last one-shot). "I can't live without your average-to-moderate attractiveness, please return…!"
"Uh, as if Edneri-kins. I found meh-self a real man in Snaggle-tooth right here."
"Do you smell a poo, Smella poo?" Drake the Were-wolf asks her.
"Why no, Drake Crack. I can't say that I do."
"You know how much I love you, Lamby-pie!" Ednerd calls out in desperation. "See, I finally become your disco ball of sparkles. Sure, it's faux diamonds. But dearest Smells-"
"Drake." Smella interrupts.
"Yeah, Smellie?"
"Kick that blood benign vampire's can already."
"Well, I would Smella. But your dad Carley forbade me from fighting your exs."
"WHAAAAAAAATTTT?"
"Babe, you're like still eighteen. Your dads like the sheriff and shit. Speaking of shit…"
"Smella," Ednerd flies down to gather his fair maiden in his shimmer, shimmer, glimmer, glimmer, shimmer, shimmer, glimmer, glisten, sparkle, something like a ice stone palace struck by moonlit sky beams and vanilla ice creams. "Smella, I've come to tell you that in your absent your father and my 'father' have talked about implanting you with a homing device with my sperm aligned on it." The two stare at one another in absolute horridness.
"Y-you mean…"
"That's right… WE'RE GOING TO HAVE HALF-VAMP BABIES! YAAAY!!!!!!!!!"
"You mean, I'm going to have babies who only give me cubic zirconium too?"
"Well," Ednerd Mullen falls to one knee and opened up a case revealing a ring. "Maybe-."
"WHAAAAAAAAAA!" Smella tramples Eddnerdie over and runs out the wall of the Smella estate. "Human abortion might be illegal, but vampire abortion? HAH-HAH!!!!"
"Smella!" Ednerd transforms into a bat and flies after her. "Wait up, my love! You can't sign those abortion papers if I disagree to it! Smella-poo, where are you? Smella!!!!!!!!"
Drake brushes off his smokin' muscles and shakes his head, sighing. "Vampire couples… wait." His keen sent picks up on something. "Oh, CRAP! Where's that blasted janitor?!"
The end.