Title: Hopes Dying Embers

Author: Little Demon Lover aka AlexCabotIsQueen

Summary: It feels like giving in. Post-ep for "Clocks. Elliot POV

"Why haven't you signed the divorce papers yet?"

She came all the way down here to ask me that. Sure it was veiled under concern for our daughter, but hey. As long as Kathy gets what Kathy wants.

Not that it wasn't great to see her. And she looked wonderful. Still takes my breath away...

Too bad I no longer have the same effect over her.

Even sitting here at my desk, looking at these papers, I still don't want to do this. But it's clear to me what I have to do. But I'll deliver them to her.

I call because I need to make sure she'll be there. But of course, when I told her why I needed to stop by, she said she would be there as long as I needed her to. Funny, last time she said something like that...well, she wants to rescind that deal.

The drive seems unbearable. Those papers sit in an envelope in the passenger seat. I don't even know why I put them in an envelope. Maybe so I don't have to look at them, maybe covering up my shame.

The hope that once helped to kindle our marriage and keep it alive are now dying embers on the floor. Scattered. Lonely.

Even walking up the front steps somehow seems wrong. The same steps that I used to long to climb. Now my footsteps on them sound like impending doom.

I still even have the keys. Now that's strange, they still work.

Seeing her stand in what used to be our kitchen in our house. But this place doesn't feel like it used to. Now it has the bitter chill of loss and emptiness.

She seems startled at me standing her, "Elliot. How did you get in?"

"Used my key."

"Right. Forgot you still had those. So, did you bring them?"

I slide the envelope across the island. She opens it like it was the winning lotto numbers.

"You still didn't sign them."

"I know."

"God damn it Elliot. You drove all they way over here just to rub it in my face!"

"Let's go outside and talk about it."

"Fine."

Sitting out here used to be relaxing. Now it's a war zone.

"Why are in such a hurry for me to sign these?"

"You have to. You need to move on Elliot. It's not healthy."

"Me? You're the one that hasn't changed the locks. Who's not moving on Kath?"

"That's not fair. I've been busy."

"So have I."

She won't even look at me.

"Why are you in such a hurry to finish it all? Just end something we invested so much in with a pen stroke. Boyfriend getting pushy about being with a married woman?"

"No."

"What...Think you'll just marry someone else and it be different..."

"There isn't anyone else. Don't you get that?"

"Really? Because Maureen tells me that you've been going out a lot."

"Using our own children as informants. That's classy Elliot. Real classy."

"Hey, she's a grown woman. What she chooses to tell me is all on her. I guess she's just concerned because you're never home."

"Never lasts more than one date anyway."

"That them or you."

"It's me. They're not good enough for me."

"Well, at least you've got your standards."

I know that look on her face. She's thinking about something she's been holding in for awhile.

"Just say it Kathy. I know you...If you don't say whatever it is, you'll regret it. Probably make yourself sick over it."

"I can't stay with them because they're not you. Okay? They're not you."