Robbie Rocketpants (The beginning)
In a swankier than usual part of North London where there you'll find only one supermarket trolley pushed into the local lake, and where the high street's bus stops have an odd shoe on every other three of them, at 51 Albert Terrace lives a small boy by the name of Robert Peterson with his father Bill a dustman for the council for the last twenty odd years and as about half as smart as some of the garbage he collects. Robbie as his dad called him is twelve and two months old (he likes to be precise on things like that), has short mousy blonde hair a dog called Mr. Woof a Yorkshire Terrier/Labrador cross breed he got from the local pound and the tendency to get overexcited, a case in point, the last time Robbie got overexcited was when his dad brought home a dead rat informing him that it was the latest promotional release from The Lord Of The Rings, he jumped about so much he broke a finger, pulled down the mantelpiece and got several injections from the local doctor before eventually selling the rat to a collector on E-Bay.
On a day no different to any other a part from it being a Wednesday, Robbie was sitting in the living room watching Blue Peter after doing his math homework, which had some incredibly hard questions like if Johnny has five apples and Susan is half the age of Alan, How many penguins to within five are there in London Zoo? And what is the square root of eight hundred and fifty seven? The answers to this of twenty two and 29.274562 but that wasn't important right now, what was important was that his dad was coming home as Mr. Woof had ran to the door to greet him. Bill who from now on unless its deemed necessary will always be know as a derivative of dad makes his way in and goes into the front room to change out of his work clothes, moments later he calls out to his son to come in to see him.
"Robbie! Can you come in here a moment?" (See I told you he would!)
" Not at the moment dad, Matt's just about to show us how to make pancakes and you never know today may be the day they remake Tracy Island™ you know I have got all the bits and bobs ready and it took me ages getting the sticky tape folded over so it's double sided for speed"
"Ok, but if you don't want the gift I got you then I"
But before he could finish there is a clank that sounded like a lamp falling in a nearby room as Robbie followed by Mr. Woof (who was bounding up and down the front room like a yo-yo) sped into the front room and bounced hands flapping in anticipation of what he was about to receive.
"You know how much you like those Power Strangers from Space" he was never very good with names
"Do I!"
"Yes you do. Anyway here is one of those Powder Ranchers suits!" He pulls a tatty looking supermarket bag out from behind the sofa and grabs the first item in it a top and shows it to his son.
"Blimey" says Robbie and promptly faints.
A cool breeze wafts gently over Robbie as he lays on a sun drenched on some tropical island, the waves of the ocean lick like sandpaper on his face as in the distance a beautiful maiden calls out his name, hang on what was the one before last? Ocean like sandpaper? He opens his eyes slowly to see the form of the beautiful maiden transform into his father who is waving a tea towel in a fan like motion, some woodchip wallpaper peeling from the top corner of the room and a strange looking cross bred dog licking his face.
"Urgh! Mr. Woof"
"Up you get", says his dad reaching down and pulling Robbie roughly to his feet.
" I've put Mr. Woof's lead on so as soon as you've tried that Chowder Strainers suit on I want you to take him for a walk"
Robbie begrudgingly agrees with an "Ok" and delves into the bag pulling out a pair of velvety blue shorts and starts to put them on.
"You might want to take your trousers of first son" as he watches Robbie stumble trying to get his balance as the shorts are catching on the turn ups of his school uniform.
"DooH!" he exclaims and quickly takes of his trousers and pulls up the shorts 'They fit so well' he thinks to himself.
Robbie picks up the top. Its also velvety blue with yellow styled 'lightning flashes' up both arms, the front has also got a lightning flash but this one is diagonally through the middle of centrally placed large white circle with the letters 'RRP' sewn in fancy red thick writing across the diameter.
"Dad?" as he pulls the top over his head." What's this RRP stand for?"
"Oh er something about the recommended retail price I think, here" he hands over the next item out of the bag, "Try on the belt it's got little jet like rockets built onto the back"
"Cool!"
The belt clicked into place and seemed to adjust themselves automatically to fit his waist, the cold metal of the rockets hanging purposely positioned behind him.
"There's just one item left" as Robbie's dad delves into the bag and pulls out a 'Batman's Robin' style black mask. With a ruffle of his hair he fixes the mask onto his sons head and at the moment something very strange happened; Robbie seemed to grow several inches, his body altered too, it became toned, defined.
"Woof!" said Mr Woof
"Yes that's right Mr Woof, it is a miracle"
"How did you know what he said son?"
"I don't know Dad, I seem to have gained knowledge beyond my years, I now know I only need one toilet roll instead of six to make Tracy Island™, and I also know that I am not a Power Stainer, my name is Robbie Rocketpants and I am a Super Hero!" (Cue dramatic music and super hero stance)
"That's nice son but I don't want you shirking your responsibilities now you've come a Jolly Rancher, you Still have to take Mr Woof out for a walk"
"Oow" as Robbie takes the lead out of his father's hand; "Anyway I told you I am now a Super Hero"
"How are you going to do that?"
"I dunno really, I was just going to jab at these buttons built onto the front of the belt and see what happens"
The belt had three main buttons on it from left to right read 'Small', an 'RRP' in the same shape as the top and finally a button with the word 'Large' written on it.
Robbie as he said he would do 'jabs' at the buttons and hits the 'Small' button.
Suddenly directly above his head and filling the front room appeared a swirl of cloud blue like the night sky filled with stars that spun above their heads like a whirlpool and totally destroying the flowery patterned light shade. Robbie's grip on Mr Woof's lead tightened and unbeknownst to him and his Father and Mr Woof Robbie had started to shrink.
"Wow" said Robbie
His Dad gulped "Didn't I see Paul Daniels do that on his '86 Christmas special?"
Robbie pressed the 'RRP' button and the rockets burst into life.
"I'm going to take off Dad, I can feel the power surging through me"
"That's because the material in the shorts is very thin"
Robbie raises his left arm in a Superman style stance
"To Infinity And Beyond!"
"I think someone has that one son"
"Oh, I'll work on that" and with that he lifts off with Mr Woof still in tow into the middle of the swirl and they both disappear with the cloud quickly spinning smaller to the same spot and popping out of existence faster than it takes to read what just happened.
Out of a bluey swirl that magically appeared on the roof tiles of 51 Albert Terrace, Robbie appears dog in toe rockets blazing as he rushes uncontrollably into the evening sky careering down roads and over houses miraculously avoiding crashing more due to luck or was it due to the affects of the 'small' button to the size of an Action Man that the wind pressure pushed him passed. Robbie struggled to gain control and finally got some back when he realized that pulling his cape out to one side or the other would make him turn and by gyrating his groin would make him go up or down. As he passed a barely completed stadium, Robbie managed to get straight flight and momentarily relaxed.
"I think I've got the hang of this now Mr Woof"
"WOOF!" said Mr Woof in a panicked state
"Look out? That's a funny thing to say Mr. Woof"
Smash! Through a nearby window of a large noisy building they tumbled, rockets cutting out as they passed people who from Robbie's point of view looked like giants out of ancient fables due to the garments they were wearing until crashing to a stop inside something..
Dazed and confused, the new pintsized Robbie Rocketpants as we now know him by, and his faithful doggie companion now found themselves inside an unfamiliar large tubular object, each end had a translucent white coloured wall, one of these ends had a circle missing from the middle of it and Robbie being the clever lad that he is worked out this was probably his point of entry into this new weird world.
Bang! Bang! Came the noise.
Mr. Woof immediately scampered off to the end with the hole, Robbie covered his ears with his hands and quickly followed, getting to the end they both stuck their heads outside.
Bang! Came the noise
"Blimey!" said Robbie
"Woof!" said Mr. Woof
"Yes your right it IS very noisy"
Bang!
In shocked amazement: "Where are we?"
As they looked out, a bright light flashed from side to side right into their eyes forcing them to look down. Below ran thick black strands of what looked like licorice twisted, turned and stretched in both directions as far as Robbie's eye could see. There were some more lights that seemed to be flashing in time with the load banging that's frightening our hero.
Suddenly a large denim covered tree trunk of a leg passed in front of the hole. Robbie and Mr. Woof jumped back.
Bang!
"Woof"
"Yes I'm frightened as well" (see I told you it was)
The leg swayed pass again and then again. Robbie and Mr. Woof cautiously edged forward and slowly nervously stuck their heads out again.
"Woof" said Mr. Woof
"The giant denim leg said something about Yo-Yos "
"Woof"
"Yes and something about chicks or three"
Bang! Came the noise again. The leg swayed in front of them again.
Bang! Sway
Flash went the lights
Bang! Sway, Bang! Bang! Sway
"Colour TV's" said the leg
Bang! Flash!
"Woof" said Mr. Woof
"Your right I think we should get out of here as soon as possible", as he hits the button on his belt marked 'Large' making the whirl of sky appear above his head, (in the distance someone can be heard saying "Woo! Great affects man") " If we don't get out now I think we will get stuck in Dire Straits"
Grabbing Mr. Woofs lead Robbie lifts his arm up in Superman poise and presses the 'RRP' button. The rockets burst into life,
"Lets Junior Birdman Outta Here! Is that more like it?"
"Woof!" said Mr. Woof
And with that they were up and away.