A/N: This hit me out of the blue. I needed to reconcile some things. Haha!
Summary: Post 5x14, beware of spoilers. Sometimes, it just doesn't work, no matter how hard you try or how hard you love. And there is only one option to take from there. [Adam/Kono, McKono endgame]
The Nuclear Option
The second she heard the news over the radio, she knew. It took only a minute or two more for Steve's name to show up on her caller I.D. screen.
"Kono…" his voice came over the line, calm and in-charge.
"I heard," she said simply, her jaw tight. Steve was silent.
"Where are you?" he asked finally, the 'commander' title disappearing from his demeanor and 'Steve' in his place. Kono let out a heavy breath.
"I'm in the car. On my way to the office," she assured him.
"He wasn't in it, you know," he told her. Something tight in her chest loosened at the news, but it left something ugly in its place.
"That's good. Thank you for telling me," she said.
"See you in a few?" he asked. She nodded, even knowing full well that he couldn't see it.
"Yep."
The both hung on the line for a second longer than necessary, then each hung up.
As she walked into the case room, she realized everyone was watching her. It set her teeth on edge, but she kept up the straight face and approached the smart table.
"What do we know?" she asked, calling their attention back to the job at hand.
"One car bomb, sophisticated. No casualties or injuries," Danny began. Grover pulled a picture and swiped it onto the screen. Kono almost choked as she stared at the burnt out shell of the Ferrari. She'd been standing next to that not an hour before.
"Did it have a timer?" she asked. Steve looked over at her.
"Bomb squad did say they found a timing device in the wreckage," he said. She nodded. Jerry's excited face at being allowed to drive the high-end car swam in her vision.
"Have you questioned…" she stopped, swallowed hard. "Have you questioned Adam yet?"
Chin shook his head. "He's on his way in right now." Kono nodded.
"From the looks of it, this bomb wasn't meant to kill people," Danny said.
"A warning," Kono said, running a hand over her features. Chin watched her closely.
"Do you have any inkling about what it would be for?" he asked.
"After the last case, I… I went to see Adam. He was having a meeting when I arrived. It had appeared to me that he was beginning the process of selling off his company," she said. The men all frowned.
"Why would he do that? He's been doing his best to clean up the company image and his name," Steve asked. Kono sighed.
"I've always been uncomfortable with the business. After everything that happened, I just never trusted it to be what he wants it to be. It was so embroiled with his father and Yakuza. So… we fought. And selling the company was an unspoken condition of me… marrying him," she revealed. Chin nodded, putting some of the dots together from the other day. Steve straightened and he leaned on the table.
"So he's selling his company. For you," he said. When said like that, it made Kono flinch. And it didn't go unobserved.
"We hadn't discussed it any more. He went ahead with it, without talking to me about it. I'd already made up my mind to marry him regardless," she said. Danny smiled.
"So, congratulations are in order?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Kono let out a breath as an awkward silence fell.
"It's not official," she said finally before turning and walking to her office. She left the door open and could hear the continuing conversation humming behind her.
"What'd I say?" Danny asked, confused. Kono didn't need to look to know that there was a lot of conversation going on without speaking.
"So Adam is selling and all of a sudden his car gets blown up. I'd take bets Yakuza is behind it. Or unhappy members of the Noshimuri family," Chin said.
"If it is about the organization, someone is trying awful hard to convince Adam to stick around for it... or have him be gone permanently," Danny noted.
"We won't know more until Adam gets here," Chin told them. There was an agreeing silence.
"Kono could just as easily be a target if someone doesn't want Noshimuri selling," Grover's voice carried after a moment. And that shut everyone up. Even her own thoughts. It was the crux of everything. In the meantime, Steve McGarrett had yet to say anything more.
Kono was careful to not be anywhere near interrogation when Adam got there. Even if the questioning was voluntary, it could just as easily get out of hand and she wanted to be as far away as possible.
It took three hours of discussions and research to finally make some progress. And it took another few hours to find tips to another bomb, this time in a partner's home. The team had pulled enough information together to finally make an arrest. Kono had felt detached from it for most of the day.
A knock on her door alerted her to his presence. "Kono…"
"So you're done?" she asked, standing up and stuffing her hands into her pockets. He nodded.
"Chin and Detective Williams went with the bomb squad. McGarrett and Grover went to arrest Richard," he told her.
Richard Yato. A close friend of Adam's and a man they'd had over to dinner a thousand times. She sighed.
"You going home?" she asked. He nodded.
"Yeah, with police escort to check the place over. Just in case. I have to do some catch-up now that the excitement is over. Should I expect you if I get an all clear?" he asked. It was a simple question. But she was sure she had a more complicated answer.
"No." It was said simply, but they'd been together long enough that Adam could read more than just the two letter word in her body language. He stepped further into her office.
"I'm guessing that means a lot more than just for tonight," he said sadly. Kono nodded, but changed her mind and shook her head.
"I… I don't know, Adam," she said honestly. He sighed as well.
"I thought you agreed to marry me," he told her wearily. Kono nodded.
"I thought I did too…"
"I see."
"No, I'm not sure you do," she said, coming around her desk to stand in front of him. "I love you. I do. And I was wrong to agree to marry you after a case… after a physically exhausting, trying case. I'd heard advice all day long and all I could think about was you. And I don't want to have to lose you. But… you come with more than just you. And I come with more than just me. It will always be that way…"
"It's never made a difference to me, Kono, you know that," he said, harsh conviction in his voice. Suddenly all the anger she'd felt lodged in her chest that morning exploded.
"What about this do you not understand?!" Kono cried suddenly. "I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you my concerns and instead you made it a competition, a comparison of who's given up more…"
"Kono…" Adam started.
"My friend was in that car, Adam," she growled. "Remember? You let him drive it after I'd agreed to marry you? I'd stood next to it as I said goodbye to you this morning. Remember that?" There was silence. The point was made.
"Is it unfair?" Kono asked. "Yes. It is. But you don't get to stop being Adam Noshimuri, and you don't get to have a clean slate from the Yakuza just because you say so. I've known how that works but I overlooked it… because I have loved you. I do love you."
"That should be enough, Kono," he told her, his eyes pleading with her. She shook her head.
"In the perfect world, Adam, it should be. But this isn't a perfect world."
"No, it isn't perfect," Adam agreed. "But I've given up the organization… for you, for us…"
Kono shook her head. "The thing is, Adam, it should have never been for me or us in the first place. You should have wanted to give it up because it was the right thing to do."
"I am."
"I'm not entirely sure I believe that, Adam," she said sadly. The look of shock on his face surprised her.
"After all this time," he said, shaking his head. "After everything."
Kono knew that most women would kill to be the reason their man became a better person. They would find the gesture of complete change romantic. But Kono was not that woman. She would never be that woman. She was Kono Kalakaua, a member of the elite task force Five-0. There had to be more reason than simply her. Because she may not be around forever… that was simply a part of their imperfect world. And she knew first hand that a change of course will fall back into pattern when the corrective measure is removed. If Adam wanted to be a better man, he needed to be a better man… not one for her or because of her.
Have I ever asked you to stop being a cop?
His voice from the other day rang through her head. No, he never had. But there was a significant difference between what he'd been and what she was. She wasn't sure the gap could be bridged. She wasn't sure she was enough. And it was that uncertainty that made it all clear.
"I'm sorry, Adam."
He stared at her for a moment before he let out a breath, his shoulders falling.
"I guess we're done here, then."
"Yeah." She watched him walk out of her office, holding her head up high even as tears threatened. The nuclear option hurt like hell, but sometimes it was the only way.
It was two and a half years later when they ran into each other again.
This time, they were staring at each other over the morgue table.
"Is this your wife?" she asked softly, staring at the gold ring on his finger. It seemed new and out of place. Adam's face was tear-tracked as he looked down at the woman on the table. The fatal bullet wounds were stark red against the pale skin.
"Yes," his answered softly. Adam's hand gripped that of Nina Noshimuri, and he slipped to his knees next to her, soft sobs wracking his body. Part of her wondered what exactly he was crying for, what part of his life was he mourning or regretting… but the other part of her went out to him. She walked by Adam, left him to his grief. But not without laying a gentle hand of consolation on his shoulder. He didn't notice.
She exited the room and a gentle arm pulled her to the side. Steve's eyes were on her, concerned. Kono let her forehead rest on his chest as his arms came around her.
"That could have been my life," she murmured. "That could have been me…" Steve's strong arms tightened for a moment before releasing to lean back and look at her. His eyes met hers.
"But it wasn't," he said simply, earnestly. Kono leaned up, kissing him softly as a means of showing her devotion, her love, and her thanks.
"It wasn't." And for that, she was very glad.
The end