Commodore James Norrington slipped out of the authoress's house silently. Something had to be done about her. He and the other "commandeered" characters locked away in her imaginary house had all agreed that the authoress, who for the sake of the story we shall call Inwë, was far too obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean. Every other thing she said was a quote, usually of Captain Jack Sparrow. She would randomly start on the "Why is the rum gone?" conversation whenever she was nervous. She listened to nothing but the Dead Man's Chest soundtrack and pined for the next movie to be out. Raven, the eldest and most respected of Inwë's "borrowed" friends, had had to slip an alternate CD into the player while the Elf wasn't looking. She had been too busy working on Pirates fiction to notice. And, despite the fact that he disliked any pirate, Norrington couldn't help but admit that he was worried about her. More than once he and Raven had attempted to talk sense into her, but Inwë was stubborn and had threatened to turn Norrington in to the American authorities if he didn't be quiet. That was, unfortunately, a good threat. The Commodore was a privateer on behalf of England, meaning he had license to attack any ship that didn't sail under the colors of the Crown. That aside, he was also in the country illegally. Going through border security with a sword and an eighteenth centaury costume would raise awkward questions. So, for the past three months, he had hidden with the authoress. Up until now.

Norrington and Raven had devised a plan. A plan to bring a little variety back into Inwë's dull obsessive life. Norrington was purposefully going to get arrested.

It had been his idea. Raven was too quiet and…creepy…to be of much use outside of careful planning, not to mention she wasn't exactly "arrestable", being a minor and rather difficult to capture and hold for more than a few minutes. So, Norrington had agreed to waltz out and do something…probably just go to a tavern and pretend to be drunk, raving about getting into the country without a passport or something of the kind. When Inwë got home, bored and listless, Raven, Sirius, and Inwë's pet "Charlie" would rush over and explain about how they couldn't stop the Commodore from leaving. Appalled, the Elf would probably run off and petition the government to release Norrington. At least, that's how Raven said she'd react, though Norrington hadn't like the faint deceptive glint in her eyes and didn't entirely trust her. The girl was half demon, after all!

"Good evening," said the barman at the tavern Norrington had wandered into. He gave the Commodore a wary look, nervously eyeing the cutlass sheathed at his side.

"Ya from around here, mister?" the man continued. Norrington glanced over his shoulder at the other occupants of the bar. They were all staring at him. He looked back quickly at the owner of the inn.

"No, actually. I was just stopping in for a drink," he replied. A few people murmured to each other as they heard his distinct English accent. The barman slowly passed him his drink and then vanished into the back room. Norrington sighed to himself. He could almost hear the man calling the police to inform them that some British guy, who, by the looks of him, had just escaped from a mental clinic, was sitting at his bar sipping on cheap beer. Sure enough, five minutes later Norrington could faintly hear the wail of sirens coming closer. He didn't move, acting unconcerned, though inwardly he was regretting trying to help the authoress. It wasn't until the door burst open and three policemen stepped into the bar that he glanced up. The three policemen looked at each other uncertainly. Norrington almost chuckled: this was obviously not a scenario they were used to.

"Ummm…sir, you're under arrest for disturbing the peace and entering a bar with a weapon," the first policemen said nervously. Norrington looked bewildered, but then shrugged.

"If you insist," he sighed as he stood up and handed the officer his sword. Now it was their turn to look surprised.

"Ok…ummm…you have the right to remain silent…"

Enter the authoress. She was, once again, sulking slightly as she walked down the deserted street towards her "home". The thought that it was still two hundred and thirty-seven days until Pirates of the Caribbean 3 came out depressed her immensely. Even the soundtrack of Dead Man's Chest no longer cheered her up. Just as she got to the door, she heard scuffling on the other side. Curious, she opened the door and stepped inside. If anyone had been moving around it wasn't obvious. Raven was being her usual self and was sitting in the darkest corner with a book in Romanian open in front of her. Sirius, who unfortunately had been trapped in his dog form since he had appeared on Inwë's doorstep, was curled up comfortably on the sofa. Charlie was busy playing some sort of complicated video game on the computer. When Inwë slipped inside, they all looked up. Sirius was first to respond. He ran over to her and whined slightly.

"What's the matter?" Inwë asked at once, looking concerned. Raven sighed heavily and got to her feet.

"Oh nothing. Just that Norrington went and got himself arrested," she answered in her low, croaky voice. Inwë immediately froze and had a double take.

"He what?" she asked in her equally low voice. Charlie minimized the game window on his computer and walked over.

"Got arrested. Are you getting a bit hard of hearing?" Inwë gave him a look and he cringed slightly.

"Don't make me send you back to the Lost island three weeks early," she growled. He looked slightly hopeful. Rolling her eyes, Inwë added, "With the Others and a boat load of fan girls." Charlie flinched as if she had hit him with a hot poker.

"What are we going to do about Norrington?" Raven continued, raising her voice slightly to drown out any further comments.

"Spring him from jail, of course! I'm not a pirate for nothing," Inwë replied loftily, folding her arms and smiling slightly. Raven and Charlie groaned.

"We can't spring him from jail, remember?" Charlie reminded her. Inwë laughed slightly.

"Oh yes!" she said in exactly the same manner Jack had at his hanging. She stopped grinning when Raven smacked her over the back of the head.

"Ow."

"How about we just head over there and pay the bail, all right?" Raven said in annoyance. Inwë grumbled some sort of agreement and stomped towards the door.

"We can't leave the house, we're too easily recognized," Raven sighed when Inwë glanced back at them. Sirius barked and stared at them hopefully.

"Sirius, if someone saw you and figured out who you were…" Inwë began. The black dog sat down and glared at her.

"Oh fine, but if you get killed again don't blame me!" the Elf relented, opening the door and allowing the dog to go ahead of her. Raven suddenly tossed her a bag.

"What's this?" the authoress asked, peering into the sack.

"Your pirate costume." Inwë grinned at her.

"Very funny. SIRIUS!" she called over her shoulder. The shapeshifter stopped and stared at her.

"Lemme change into my costume! Gimme FIVE minutes!" With that she hurtled off to her own room and was back in ten minutes. She was in her most splendid pirate garb. A baggy cream shirt, baggy grey pants, and her brown riding boots made up most of the outfit, with a red scarf around her head and another around her waist. Beads, hand strung, dangled from her hair as she straightened her Jack Sparrow hat in the mirror.

"Pirate," Charlie muttered as he went back to his video game. Inwë gave him a disdainful look before she strutted out the door.

"Expect me back within a few hours. If I'm not back by noon tomorrow, send the rescue party, savvy?" With that she was gone. Raven and Charlie heaved sighs of relief.

"I really hate her when she's a pirate."