Red vs Blue: Eternal Analogue
By: NotSpecialDude
Chapter 1: New Mission
Chorus Station 12B, for a good few years this station has seen little use. Why would it, most ships that tried to take to the stars were shot down and those lucky enough to get by disappeared. Even when the war ended the UNSC had blockaded the planet and prevented most traffic from entering and few would want to leave a world they had fought a massive war for. So this station was mostly abandoned.
Not today though.
There were nine people. Anyone's first thought when seeing them was that they were soldiers. A claim easy to make as they were armed with guns, grenades, knives, and a blade. But you couldn't see their faces, they were completely covered in powered armor. The only way to tell them apart was the fact that each one was a different color. They were a squadron of soldiers, but not a traditional squadron. They were tied to no government and officially were mercenaries for hire, but in truth they were something more. They were friends, allies, family, they were…
"SO FUCKING BORED!"
"Tucker!" The Grey one with yellow highlights yelled in response to the Cyan one's remark.
"Hey, don't 'Tucker!' me. Its not my fault that we spent two hours waiting here for this stupid spaceship of yours."
"It isn't my spaceship, it belongs to the investigator we are meant to guard for this mission."
"Not the fucking point. My point is that we've been sitting here doing fuck all, in the shitiest station on the planet."
"Its not that bad…"The grey one responded, somewhat defensibly.
"The walls are falling apart!" The orange soldier yelled.
"Plants overran the most of the furniture." The red soldier added.
"And all the clocks are several minutes behind." The maroon soldier stated.
"Even your complaints are nerdy." The orange soldier quipped to maroon one.
"Aw, shut it Grif."
"Simmons, Grif, Knock it off." The red one responded.
"Yes, Sarge..." The maroon and orange soldiers groaned.
"They do have a point you know." Came a woman's voice. A second Cyan soldier moved closer. "This place isn't exactly a secure location for a pickup. You can't tell me you don't have your own concerns Wash."
"I do, Carolina," the Grey soldier replied. "But, there was no other option. Kimball did say she wanted us to pick up the freelance investigator in a secure location and this was the only station that offered that security. Its the safest place for a pick up."
*CLANK*
A large metal beam fell from the ceiling. Both ends having rusted to the point that the whole beam could not remain in the ceiling. The soldiers all look up and find more metal beams, all of which contain several degrees of rust.
"Safest place, eh." Tucker quipped.
Wash sighed, he knew there was no way to respond to that.
"Regardless" Wash composed himself, "the investigator himself isn't late. He's actually supposed to arrive in a few minutes from now."
"Then why did we come here two hours early?" Tucker asked.
"Because we need to secure the landing pad and ensure it is safe."
"Well this place is as safe as decaying station left to rot for years can possibility be. Five stars."
"¿Por qué Kimball no se aseguró el lugar en su lugar?" The brown soldier said.
"Lopez is right! Two hours is no where near enough time to fix this place up. We should have gotten here much earlier then that." The pink lightish-red soldier responded.
"Donut, please shut up." Grif quipped, "Anyway, what Lopez actually asked was, why didn't Kimball secure this place herself?"
"Trust me, I asked the same question," Wash replied. "But, the Freelance Investigator refused to respond to any calls after receiving the information of who their escorts will be, and where the rendezvous point was. We almost assumed he bailed on the mission, but we just got confirmation of arrival this morning. We didn't want to alarm him with sudden change where he should land, and we can't afford to spend anymore time hunting for another investigator."
"Not very reliable help are they?" Sarge pointed out.
"No, but not many people are interested in coming all the way to Chorus, try to remember that until the war with Hargrove, no one even remembered this place. Its a moot point, since we're not the ones in charge of the investigation" Wash responded. "More specifically, we simply guard this investigator as they determine as much they can from whatever remains of the derelict ship, Mugunghwa."
"Gesundheit" the blue soldier said in an almost child-like way.
"Caboose, I didn't sneeze. I said the name of the ship."
"I'm sorry Agent Washington. What was the name of the ship?"
"The Mugunghwa."
"Gesundheit"
There was an awkward silence after that, but it lasted for only a second, as Wash responded in a manner that showed no surprise.
"Caboose, that WAS the name of the ship."
"All I heard was you sneezing, did you get a cold? Should I get blankets?"
"Look, I am not sick nor am I sneezing. That's the name of the ship. It was named in the Korean language."
"Who names their ship in Korean?" Sarge asked. "They should have done it in the language of humanity, American. I'm thinking 'the Wide Shot,' or maybe 'Justice,' or maybe…"
"Oh thank god," Wash interrupted as he pointed to an incoming vessel. "The investigator's ship has arrived."
Said Spaceship was rather small, it looked to only hold a small squadron of 12 at best. Despite this small size, it would be difficult to miss due to its "distinct" paint job. It was bright lime green with purple highlights in shape of lighting bolts. It had a few visible weapons, but they were clearly only meant for asteroids and not actual combat. This was a customized civilian grade ship, that just so happen to exist in that awkward state of being impossible to ignore, but also undesirable to look at.
The ship landed to no fanfare, as the nine onlookers were more confused then anything else. Except for Caboose, he had found a trail of ants and lost interest minutes ago.
The back end of the spacecraft had a large door, big enough that three people could stand side-by-side and comfortably get in. It's through this door that the investigator came out, and it was absolutely clear that he was the designer of the ship.
He didn't wear any armor, instead he wore bright purple cuffed pants and lime green T-shirt. He wore shades that only barely covered his eyes, clearly serving more as a fashion statement than any functional use. His hair was braided, but not long; only reaching to the top of his neck from behind. His face was shaven, but poorly as portions of his face still have hair, and many past cuts were visible. On his feet were sandals that were a muted brown and normally not worth nothing, but with his current getup it stood out as the only part of his outfit that wasn't a pain to look at.
He then spoke with a very lax voice. "Hey!"
The colorful squadron did not respond. Their brains were still processing.
"Are you guys, like, the dudes who were supposed to guard me and stuff."
Still nothing, if you could see their faces they'd likely have their mouths open in shock.
"HEY! ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING?"
The man shouted. Wash and Carolina were able to snap out of their daze and step toward the new arrival, but the rest continued to silently stare.
"Ye-yes… Yes we are. We are Reds and Blues and we were assigned to be your bodyguards. My name is Agent Washington and this is Agent Carolina."
"Ple-pleasure to meet you…" Carolina shuddered out.
"Excellent. My name is Chris Awesome, glad to meet you brah."
"Awesome… really?" Wash mumbled.
"Yah, Dude. My birth name was a total bummer so I changed it to fit me better. But enough about me, what about the rest of your squad? They seem a bit outa wack. When are they gonna speak? I want to know their names too."
"They, just can't help but…marvel… at your ship. In all fairness, the journey is rather long; they can introduce themselves proper on the ship itself."
"Cool Brah, Get your dudes and get ready for lift-off, we leave in five."
"Alright, Guys" Wash turned his attention to the still stunned soldiers. "Pack your gear and move out! Next stop, The Mugunghwa."
"Gesundheit" Chris shouted from inside the ship.
"This is gonna be a long day…"Wash groaned.
And so they board the ship, which they dubbed between themselves as "the Eyesore." They didn't all get on at once, as it took them almost the entire five minutes provided to get out of their stupor induced funk. But if that ship was the worst thing about the mission, they could hardly complain. They were many things. Lazy, impatient, incompetent, and stupid, but they were close, accomplished the impossible and cared for each other greatly, even if it didn't show immediately. But most of all…
They were the Reds and Blues.
Author's notes:
Welp, that was the first chapter to my first fanfic. And like that I have dove into the insanity that was this site. In all seriousness, though, I hope my little ditty wasn't to much of a slog to read through and I'd appreciate any and all criticism.
Also, I should mention that while this is a Red vs Blue crossover with Analogue: Hate story, this is primarily a story focused around the former. I hope this won't cause any issues, but I feel it necessarily to point out before hand.
Here's to a new experience for both of us.
P.S if you feel a sharp sensation burning your eyes, don't fret for it is only the horrid quality of my story slowly causing your eyes to rupture and implode. Simply burn your computer screen, pray to your god, and leave a comment and I will commit suicide as penance for your misery.