So this is the first chapter of a new story and the second one will be uploaded straight after.
This is a very personal story and pretty emotional that's why I will wait to see the reactions until I decide whether or not to write more.
Please handle this story with care, because that's what I do.
And now enjoy reading & share your thoughts with me!

"Your memory is a monster; you forget—it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you—and summons them to your recall with will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!" - John Irving

And all of the sudden everything spun out of control.
All hell broke loose when Ziva started punching around, trying to wrestle her way out of Tony's and Gibbs arms who tried to hold her back from doing any further damage.
She still tried to kick around while blood-curdling screams were filling the room.
It seemed like nothing could bring her back and neither of them knew what caused this reaction.

"Hey Zi, let me clean your face a little. I still wonder why this always happens to us. I mean, being assaulted by a crazy guy while being surrounded by tons of dirt? Seriously? But hey, you still look pretty nice, you should've seen McDirt – he doesn't look as good as you with dirt all over his face."
Tony moved the cloth towards Ziva's face to wipe away some of the dirt, but once he touched her cheek everything went downhill.

"Ziva! Calm down! It's just us. Nobody's going to hurt you. Please let go of DiNozzo's wrist." Gibbs words were barely reaching her ears through all her screaming but something inside of her told her to stop kicking around when Tony spoke up.
"Ziva, you hurt me. Please, let go of me and we can let go of you. We don't want to hurt you." He winced when Ziva loosened her grip on his wrist, her nails not longer digging into his flesh.
She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't even know what happened.
They heard her whimpering when she sunk to the floor, her legs finally giving in after the fight.
Tony slowly bent down to her level, cautious to not startle her again.
"I think we should call the doc." Gibbs whispered and Tony nodded slightly in agreement.
They really needed to get help, needed to find out where all of this came from.
-

"She's sleeping now and I think it will help her finding her way back to the present." The doctor said once he was out of Ziva's room. He had injected her some muscle relaxant and came back to fill them in on her state.
"Can you say what caused this reaction? I mean, yes, she has been in a fight earlier, but she's tough after all and I don't think she ever reacted like this." Tony's voice was clearly laced with concern for his partner.
"Well, to this point we can't be sure. Miss David hasn't been my patient for long, but I think some therapy sessions might help getting an insight into her life and past. Maybe something triggered her. Stress situations can be a trigger, but we have to see if she's willing to talk about it." He took a deep breath before saying the next words.

"At first we have to find out if she's aware of her actions though."
Now both agents were looking at the doctor in front of them, trying to make sense of his words.
"What do you mean by 'if she's aware of them'? Do you think it's possible that she isn't?"
Tony's eyes looked up in bewilderment.
"To be honest, yes. There are several cases where patients aren't aware of their reactions, but the reasons vary from case to case. I think first of all she needs someone she can trust and someone who will stay with her throughout the next days."
"Got it doc. Thanks." Tony nodded towards the doctor while running a hand through his hair as a sign of desperation.

"What does all of this mean boss?" His voice came out in barely above a whisper by now.
"It means you better take good care of our Ziva, Tony."
Gibbs didn't wait for Tony's confirmation before he left to get another coffee, leaving behind a very unsettled Tony. Leaving him alone to his thoughts. And yes, his mind was racing. Again.