The Hardest Part is Missing You
Hermione had been dating Charlie Weasley for exactly fifteen months. Fifteen long, sweet months. The first few had been blissful- the older Weasley had been home from the dragon reserve on an extended vacation after the war. He picked her up at work, they went out to lunch and to dinner. Sometimes he stayed at her flat, sometimes she stayed at the Burrow. They talked endlessly, the sex was magnificent and he seemed to be everything the young girl had been looking for. Charlie was an intelligent counterpart, a shoulder to cry on, a body to hold. He was able to help her get over the war, to teach her how to be and feel, and then it had all gone wrong.
It was five months into the relationship when he got the owl. It apologized to pulling him back so soon, but they needed his help again. He was their senior dragon trainer, the leader of their operations, the lifeblood of the organization, so to speak. They were doing miserably without Charlie's charm, and could he return.
He'd told her that he hadn't really wanted to go; she knew otherwise. Charlie was empty without the dragons. He talked about them, showed her pictures, read books on the species. He had taken to hanging out with dragon traders just to discuss new breeds, and they were a shady enough bunch as it was. He stared out the window and seemed unaccustomed the chill of English air. She knew he had to leave.
The first month without Charlie was fine. She missed seeing him so often, but they called when they could and wrote owls. He apparated to see her multiple times- but refused to let her come see him. It was enough to get her through.
As the months passed, the owls grew further apart. He apologized every time, expressing how much he missed her, promising her that he was okay and that it was just a busy week, that'd he come see her as soon as it all calmed down.
Hermione was never really accustomed to 'dating' as it was, so being without wasn't exactly traumatizing. When it hit her, it was unexpectedly. She was passing a bookstore and one caught her eye about dragons, or she was ordering lunch and a couple could be seen kissing through the window. When it hit, it hit hard, but Hermione hadn't the heart to end things with Charlie. She promised things they would get better.
They didn't.
The young woman grew more reclusive. She went out less, she slept more. She promised herself she wasn't heartbroken- maybe just caught a bug. Hermione forced the thought of the muscular red head from her mind and she carried on with everyday life as best as she could.
Slowly, the sporadic pains became a dull ache that she carried with her. Her heart hung and her chest was heavy. When she spoke to someone about him, her brown eyes would no longer light up. Finally, the owls slowed to a deadening pace, but she couldn't move on. He was still hers, somewhere in the back corner of her mind. When an owl would come she'd treasure it, sleeping with his words under her pillow, wishing for the moment to see him again, pushing the spark on a little further.
At one point, a year into the 'relationship', Hermione- ever the rational, intelligent witch that she was- sat down to make a list documenting what she missed about him. Perhaps, she had told herself, if I can see his qualities written out, it won't mean so much. They won't be in my mind and I can step a little lighter.
The list wasn't particularly exciting, it read off the normal things one would expect: handsome, charming, the way his eyes twinkle when he smiles, the beet-red Weasley blush, freckles everywhere, his arms. It also held more qualities that she kept closer to her heart: he argues with me over everything, he does crosswords in his spare time, he can dance and make me look graceful, his obsession with dragons, his quick wit and scathingly rude humor.
It all added up, Hermione realized, as she had to stop herself from writing out that he even made her hot when he did the dishes. She loved him. Hermione told herself that it wasn't particularly a good idea, but it seemed as though there was no avoiding it, and so she had curled up a little bit more.
Christmas had come far faster than she was expecting. Hermione had stopped tracking the time and she wasn't expecting to be invited anywhere for the holidays. Her parents were going on vacation and still weren't particularly fond of her after the memory incident. Last year she had spent it with the Weasley's, her relationship with Charlie was fresh, new and exciting. He hadn't mentioned coming home in the last owl; he would be busy long into the new years but- he'd get out to see her soon, he promised.
When Ginny knocked on her door late in December, she was shocked to hear that the Weasley's very much still wanted her there for the festivities, from Christmas eve for as long as she'd like to stay. Ginny hadn't left until she had promised that she would be there and sleep over- and so she had finally agreed simply to get back to sleep.
The day arrived and Hermione soon found herself surrounded by the family she knew so well. Each glimpse of red had her heart aching a little harder and after a few hours of chatting and laughing as though she was fine, Hermione admitted that she had to get to sleep. Ginny had reluctantly admitted that the only room free was Charlie's- but she'd get a slightly bigger bed. She was invited to stay with Ginny if she wished, but Harry was there and she hadn't wanted to intrude.
It seemed foreign to be in Charlie's room without him anywhere nearby, and everything reminded her of him. The stack of journals, dragon books and crosswords stacked on the desk, the models of different dragon species and pictures of him laughing and waving in Romania. When she crawled under the covers his smell surrounded her and she shivered, crying herself to sleep.
Hermione wasn't expecting to be woken up in the middle of the night. She nearly screamed when a finger touched her face, brushing away her tears and then pressing softly onto her lips to keep her from waking the household. When her eyes adjusted and focused onto the tanned, freckled face above him they grew in size and she gasped, sitting up quickly to look at him.
"Are you..." She began, and he nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed as he looked at her. He seemed to be studying her face, taking in every ounce of what he had missed. He let out a soft sigh, shutting his eyes and opening them again.
"You're more beautiful than I remember." He murmured, his voice low and gruff like she'd remembered.
Hermione choked back a sob and she shook her head, backing into the headboard. "What're you doing... here...?"
"I s'pose I should be asking you that question- you are asleep in my bed. Though, I expected to find you here. When you weren't at your flat-"
"You were at my flat?"
He nodded slowly, leaning towards her a little. "Hermione... you won't believe how much I've missed you." He murmured, a hand moving to rest on her flannel-covered knee. He leaned again, and she shook her head, placing her hand on his chest to stop him.
"Then why... why didn't you do something about it? Why didn't you write...? Visit me? I've been in agony, Charlie..." She began, wondering if she was about to do what her mind was telling her to.
"I know, love, but we can talk in the morning... I'm here now." He murmured, his arms snaking around her thin waist. "Please... just be with me now."
"How do I know that you'll still be here in the morning?" She whispered, and he sighed, looking down then back to her.
"Maybe you don't- maybe you just have to trust me on this one. I didn't write, I didn't visit, because it was too hard. After seeing you than just having to go back? I couldn't do it. It just made the hurt increase tenfold, it made me miss you a thousand times more. It was easier just to write when I felt I couldn't bear it anymore. I must have read your letters a million times. I. I chided myself every day for letting you get away from me. I just."
"Charlie I don't know if I can... I mean. I want to be with you, you make me so happy when you're around... How long will you be here?"
"A couple weeks for sure. I don't know how much longer than that, but."
Hermione sighed, she wanted so much just to tell him to leave, but then he was kissing her. His lips moved against hers and everything that she had been feeling, the hurt and the pain and the disappointment- it all melted away and left only Charlie, left his body pressing against hers and her hands in his hair. It left what she'd been missing.
He pulled her down onto the bed and slid under the covers with her, kissing her softly and tenderly and she knew right away why she hadn't broken up with him. He was pulling her horrid pajamas off and she was tugging at his shirt and soon they lay there panting, naked.
"Do you still want..." He whispered, and she nodded, looking deep into his eyes, shivering under his intense stare.
"Yes... please. All I want is you." She murmured, and he nodded, nudging her thighs apart and lining up with her. His body stayed over her, protecting her, lips against her skin as he pushed into her. Hermione groaned and reminded herself to stay quiet- they were in a house full of Weasleys.
They moved slowly together, carefully and he kissed her over and over, admiring her skin in the pale moonlight.
As he thrust into her she felt tears run down her cheeks and he kissed them away, murmuring concern into her ear.
"I'm f-fine, Charlie..." She whispered. "I just... missed you."
He kissed her over and over, trying to take away the pain he'd caused as he pushed further into her, his pace beginning to quicken. "Hermione..." he murmured in her ear, over and over, like a promise. "Hermione I..." He changed, and then he let out a breath. "Hermione- I love you."
He felt her shudder around him and they came together, silent until they lay spent on the bed, Charlie still above her, kissing her neck softly.
"Charlie?" She questioned, quite a few minutes later.
"Mm?"
"Did you... mean that?" She asked, looking at him, straining her eyes to try and relearn his face. It seemed harder, she noted a few new scars and his left eyebrow was slightly burnt off- she kissed the plain skin carefully.
"Mean what, love?"
"That. That you loved me." She repeated, blushing even then.
"Hermione... I love you more than anything in the world. I'll love you until the day the earth ceases to turn and probably still a little longer than that. All I could possibly ever think about was you- I never got any work done in the weeks which I got your letter. I never thought about anything but you. I love everything about you- your unruly hair, your pointy ears. I even love the way you do the-"
"Dishes." She finished, and he paused, looking at her.
"How did you know I was going to say that?"
"Because-"
"Wait, please, I have one more thing to say. Then if you want me to leave forever I will, I promise never to bug you again if thats what you want. But I just. I just need to..." She nodded, and he reached off the side of the bed and into his jacket pocket, returning to look her straight in the eyes. "You're the best thing that's happened to me, Hermione, and I was wondering, I mean. If you'll have me, and I hope so because I already quit the reserve-"
"You quit the-"
He silenced her with a soft laugh. "Yes, I did. Because, who needs dragons when they have what I have? Hermione, damnit, just make this easy and say you'll marry me?"
She gaped softly, looking down at the ring he revealed and plucked from a box to extend to her. "But you loved the reserve..."
"Not nearly so much as I love you. And I'll miss it, but nothing will tear me up as much missing you did..."
"I'm not going to get all cheesy here, Charlie Weasley. I've never been a particularly cheesy person." She murmured, lifting her hand up to the ring. "But. Nothing would make me half so happy." And with that, she slid her finger into the ring, looking up to him and smiling a real smile, the first one in months.