Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot (and I'm not sure if that's a
good thing).
Warnings: This fic does contain slash, if that grosses you out then hit the back button now so I'm saved your comments about how screwed up I am for putting them together (other slash writers know what I mean, all those things about "you're an awful person, how could you do this to an innocent children's story, there is definitely something wrong with you, etc"). If you don't want to hear about two guys in love with each other, then it's quite simple---don't read any further. I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I wrote this so it's pretty dark and angsty. Don't read this while listening to sad music.
A/N: I can't make any comments without ruining the story, so I shall save my insanity for later, I think I got all of it out for a while by writing Interlude Of Insanity (which in my opinion is kind of funny, try reading it if you want something completely light and pointless after reading this). Oh, and the poem that Harry quotes, the part about "look for me by moonlight", is The Highwayman, I'm not sure who wrote it, someone told me it was Alfred Noyes but I'm not positive. All I remember is that we read it in English class last year (as anyone who was in my class knows, that particular lesson was pretty hard to forget, lol) and it seemed to fit so I just kind of put it in. I can imagine the way that characters speak very clearly in my head so I tend to put in a lot of commas to show where they pause or there's a break in their speech.
//xxxxx//=thought
*xxxx*=emphasis
~*~xxxxxx~*~=note involving details of story (things that I know if I don't clear up now people will get confused)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~This takes place the summer after Harry's year has graduated. Harry and co. are at Hogwarts training to be Aurors with the some of the senior members of the Order Of The Phoenix. In the story, it's currently around about 5 a.m.~*~
Dumbledore looked at Harry over his half-moon glasses, his blue eyes no longer twinkly but grave and somewhat gloomy.
"You're sure you want to do this Harry? No one's forcing you, and it's extremely dangerous."
Harry replied with no hint of hesitation or regret.
"Absolutely"
The old man sighed, and the man who had been sitting next to him finally said something.
"You're so much like your father" and added mentally //let's just hope that you do not meet the same fate//
"Thank you Professor"
"Very well then. I trust you have already said your goodbyes?"
"I have one more."
He had saved this one until last, for it was sure to be his hardest. Dumbledore smiled sadly.
"Come back when you are done. Draco is going to miss you."
Harry turned and left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as he entered the room, Draco could tell what Harry was about to tell him.
"You accepted, didn't you"
"I had to, it's practically our last chance. You know it, I know it, and even Dumbledore knows it. He didn't tell me, he didn't want to pressure me, but it's true."
"Trying to stop you would be useless, wouldn't it?"
"Pretty much. I'm sorry, but I have no choice."
"Just be careful. I don't want to have to find out what I'd do without you."
Draco pulled Harry close to him as if he would never let go, as Harry spoke softly.
"Look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight, I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way"
Draco looked sadly up at the taller man and sighed.
"Don't make me promises you might not be able to keep."
"I'll see you again, someway or another. Wear this, and I'll always be able to find you"
He handed Draco a silver ring with green stones set in it.
"I figured that since you seem to be so obsessed with my eyes that this would remind you of me, and it's Slytherin colors too."
"It's beautiful, I'll never take it off. Goodbye Harry, I love you."
"This isn't goodbye Draco. I'll see you by tonight, no matter what. Trust me, I love you too much to lie to you."
He bent down to give him a kiss, one filled with love and longing and sadness.
"I'll be back tonight. Wait up for me, okay Drac."
"I will"
He turned and went back to Dumbledore's office as Draco watched him go and then slumped into a chair, praying that Harry was going to be okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~around 10 that night~*~
Lucius Malfoy was experiencing quite an internal dilemma as well, and was having a reasonably interesting argument with himself in his head. He was being forced to watch his master torture mercilessly the only person his son had really ever loved.
"Crucio!"
//Enough of that and he'll die//. He'd seen it before. The human body could only survive pain that intense for so long.
//Lucius, you know what you should do. The question is are you brave enough to do it? Or are you just going to act like some scummy death eater? Your only son loves him more than life itself. He never loved you like that, which is completely understandable after what you put him through. But you could make him happy.//
Unfortunately, Lucius's argument with the voices in his head had carried on too long. Harry's anguished screams faded away to nothing as his world went black.
Far away, a silvery-haired old man and a younger black-haired one sighed sadly and turned away from the fire they had been watching Harry's progress in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been an agonizing past 17 hours. Snape had refused to let him watch Harry with him and Dumbledore, saying that it would only make it worse. He sat anxiously, twirling the ring Harry had given him around his finger. It had been too long, he decided. He got up, fearing for the worst, and ran toward Dumbledore's office, sending him careening into an extremely upset looking professor.
"Sorry Sir"
Snape looked at him pityingly.
"It's okay Draco."
"Professor, how's Harry? Please, you have to tell me, I'm going insane not knowing"
Snape simply bowed his head. Draco stepped back in shock and gasped as his eyes began to fill with tears.
"He's not, he can't be, he promised, you're lying to me, you have to be"
"I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would, but I can't"
He leaned back against the wall for support and ending up sinking to the floor sobbing
"Just tell me it's not true, please."
"I wish I could. Dumbledore wants to talk to you now, do you think that you could maybe get up"
Draco seemed oblivious to his former professor's comments. //This isn't happening. Harry can't be dead, he promised he would come back. He loves me too much to lie to me, he said. He'll be back, I know it//
"Draco?"
He picked himself up off the ground and ran until he got back to his room, where just that morning Harry had promised to come back, but now he never would. A voice echoed through the room, as if it were coming from far away.
"Look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight"
//This is a cruel joke//
He felt a cool wind brush against his tearstained face.
"I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way"
"Harry?"
"I told you I'd come, didn't I?"
"But, where, what, how????"
He heard Harry's laughter and remembered the way that Harry had looked when he laughed. His amazing eyes would be filled with sparks of happiness and his smile, that unbelievable smile, would light up his face………
A shadowy gray figure appeared in the corner as Draco suddenly inhaled large amounts of air.
"You didn't doubt me, did you?"
"But, you're, Snape told me………………."
"That I'm dead?" Harry, or rather the shadow Harry, sighed.
"Unfortunately, Snape wasn't lying to you"
"You can't be dead Harry, you can't be. Please, come back. You don't understand…………………"
Harry looked sadly at Draco.
"I would give everything I ever had to come back. All I want is to be with you, and all I thought about ever since I left was how much I wanted to just be back safe in your arms. But I can't go back now, no matter how badly I want to be. I have to go, I was only allowed to come talk to you for a short amount of time. Just promise me one thing."
"Anything"
"Keep on living. Make sure I didn't die in vain, Draco. Tell everyone not to cry too much, you seem to be doing enough for all of them, say goodbye to them for me."
Draco smiled wryly through his tears. Somehow Harry had always been able to make him smile, no matter how bad the situation.
"Goodbye Draco. I love you, and when you die I'll be right here waiting. Don't forget me"
"I love you Harry, I could never forget you, please don't leave"
"I have to, this isn't my choice. You have no idea how much I wish I could undo everything that happened today."
"Almost as much as I do."
Harry smiled at him. Draco felt something soft brush against his face as he watched the only person in the world that he loved become lost to him.
~~You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
You were always invincible in my eyes
The only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, and face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing
And how I wish I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word
As if it's your last, I know it's your last
Cause today, oh, you're gone
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever
And I wish you didn't go
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again
With life in your hands
It couldn't be any harder...harder...harder~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The song at the end is Could It Be Any Harder by The Calling. I know that I already put it in a story, but I thought it fit the story pretty well. I got sick of stories where it's always Draco who dies, so I had to kill off Harry instead. I was feeling morbid. Sorry guys (I am now prepared for reviews involving the phrase "my poor baby!"). Don't ask where that Lucius thing came from, because to be honest I'm not quite sure. If Harry and Draco seem kind of inarticulate, sorry. But come on, they're 18 year old guys and I haven't gotten any feedback about how well I can write sappy romantic dialogue so I don't know how I can improve, plus I had a pretty bad case of writer's block while writing that part. Also, sorry if anyone's OOC, I know that they probably are, particularly Snape. I think I accidentally made him sound like the Metatron in Dogma (the whole "I can't take it back no matter how much I want to" thing), interesting since Alan Rickman plays both characters. As my friends who have been forced to read my stories have pointed out to me, I seem to have a bit of an eye fetish. I knew that already myself, after reading my fics and noticing that I always have *something* with eyes. Nice eyes on guys are one of my obsessions, and since Draco and Harry fulfill that so well I have to put it in somewhere. I have an alternate fic to this one too, with the same beginning and a much different ending, but I don't think anyone would really like it because a lot of people end up betraying others and I doubt that there are many shippers for the people that I put together. It's much less predictable than I'm sure this one was but it would probably cause a lot of you to get mad at me and submit reviews saying "omg how could you do that to them?! Poor (insert name here)! Interesting twist though". If I get any requests I'll post it. Now, go post your review like the nice person I'm sure you are, and if you leave a signed review I absolutely promise to review one of your fics!!!!!!
~IceFire~
Warnings: This fic does contain slash, if that grosses you out then hit the back button now so I'm saved your comments about how screwed up I am for putting them together (other slash writers know what I mean, all those things about "you're an awful person, how could you do this to an innocent children's story, there is definitely something wrong with you, etc"). If you don't want to hear about two guys in love with each other, then it's quite simple---don't read any further. I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I wrote this so it's pretty dark and angsty. Don't read this while listening to sad music.
A/N: I can't make any comments without ruining the story, so I shall save my insanity for later, I think I got all of it out for a while by writing Interlude Of Insanity (which in my opinion is kind of funny, try reading it if you want something completely light and pointless after reading this). Oh, and the poem that Harry quotes, the part about "look for me by moonlight", is The Highwayman, I'm not sure who wrote it, someone told me it was Alfred Noyes but I'm not positive. All I remember is that we read it in English class last year (as anyone who was in my class knows, that particular lesson was pretty hard to forget, lol) and it seemed to fit so I just kind of put it in. I can imagine the way that characters speak very clearly in my head so I tend to put in a lot of commas to show where they pause or there's a break in their speech.
//xxxxx//=thought
*xxxx*=emphasis
~*~xxxxxx~*~=note involving details of story (things that I know if I don't clear up now people will get confused)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~This takes place the summer after Harry's year has graduated. Harry and co. are at Hogwarts training to be Aurors with the some of the senior members of the Order Of The Phoenix. In the story, it's currently around about 5 a.m.~*~
Dumbledore looked at Harry over his half-moon glasses, his blue eyes no longer twinkly but grave and somewhat gloomy.
"You're sure you want to do this Harry? No one's forcing you, and it's extremely dangerous."
Harry replied with no hint of hesitation or regret.
"Absolutely"
The old man sighed, and the man who had been sitting next to him finally said something.
"You're so much like your father" and added mentally //let's just hope that you do not meet the same fate//
"Thank you Professor"
"Very well then. I trust you have already said your goodbyes?"
"I have one more."
He had saved this one until last, for it was sure to be his hardest. Dumbledore smiled sadly.
"Come back when you are done. Draco is going to miss you."
Harry turned and left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as he entered the room, Draco could tell what Harry was about to tell him.
"You accepted, didn't you"
"I had to, it's practically our last chance. You know it, I know it, and even Dumbledore knows it. He didn't tell me, he didn't want to pressure me, but it's true."
"Trying to stop you would be useless, wouldn't it?"
"Pretty much. I'm sorry, but I have no choice."
"Just be careful. I don't want to have to find out what I'd do without you."
Draco pulled Harry close to him as if he would never let go, as Harry spoke softly.
"Look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight, I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way"
Draco looked sadly up at the taller man and sighed.
"Don't make me promises you might not be able to keep."
"I'll see you again, someway or another. Wear this, and I'll always be able to find you"
He handed Draco a silver ring with green stones set in it.
"I figured that since you seem to be so obsessed with my eyes that this would remind you of me, and it's Slytherin colors too."
"It's beautiful, I'll never take it off. Goodbye Harry, I love you."
"This isn't goodbye Draco. I'll see you by tonight, no matter what. Trust me, I love you too much to lie to you."
He bent down to give him a kiss, one filled with love and longing and sadness.
"I'll be back tonight. Wait up for me, okay Drac."
"I will"
He turned and went back to Dumbledore's office as Draco watched him go and then slumped into a chair, praying that Harry was going to be okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~*~around 10 that night~*~
Lucius Malfoy was experiencing quite an internal dilemma as well, and was having a reasonably interesting argument with himself in his head. He was being forced to watch his master torture mercilessly the only person his son had really ever loved.
"Crucio!"
//Enough of that and he'll die//. He'd seen it before. The human body could only survive pain that intense for so long.
//Lucius, you know what you should do. The question is are you brave enough to do it? Or are you just going to act like some scummy death eater? Your only son loves him more than life itself. He never loved you like that, which is completely understandable after what you put him through. But you could make him happy.//
Unfortunately, Lucius's argument with the voices in his head had carried on too long. Harry's anguished screams faded away to nothing as his world went black.
Far away, a silvery-haired old man and a younger black-haired one sighed sadly and turned away from the fire they had been watching Harry's progress in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been an agonizing past 17 hours. Snape had refused to let him watch Harry with him and Dumbledore, saying that it would only make it worse. He sat anxiously, twirling the ring Harry had given him around his finger. It had been too long, he decided. He got up, fearing for the worst, and ran toward Dumbledore's office, sending him careening into an extremely upset looking professor.
"Sorry Sir"
Snape looked at him pityingly.
"It's okay Draco."
"Professor, how's Harry? Please, you have to tell me, I'm going insane not knowing"
Snape simply bowed his head. Draco stepped back in shock and gasped as his eyes began to fill with tears.
"He's not, he can't be, he promised, you're lying to me, you have to be"
"I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would, but I can't"
He leaned back against the wall for support and ending up sinking to the floor sobbing
"Just tell me it's not true, please."
"I wish I could. Dumbledore wants to talk to you now, do you think that you could maybe get up"
Draco seemed oblivious to his former professor's comments. //This isn't happening. Harry can't be dead, he promised he would come back. He loves me too much to lie to me, he said. He'll be back, I know it//
"Draco?"
He picked himself up off the ground and ran until he got back to his room, where just that morning Harry had promised to come back, but now he never would. A voice echoed through the room, as if it were coming from far away.
"Look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight"
//This is a cruel joke//
He felt a cool wind brush against his tearstained face.
"I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way"
"Harry?"
"I told you I'd come, didn't I?"
"But, where, what, how????"
He heard Harry's laughter and remembered the way that Harry had looked when he laughed. His amazing eyes would be filled with sparks of happiness and his smile, that unbelievable smile, would light up his face………
A shadowy gray figure appeared in the corner as Draco suddenly inhaled large amounts of air.
"You didn't doubt me, did you?"
"But, you're, Snape told me………………."
"That I'm dead?" Harry, or rather the shadow Harry, sighed.
"Unfortunately, Snape wasn't lying to you"
"You can't be dead Harry, you can't be. Please, come back. You don't understand…………………"
Harry looked sadly at Draco.
"I would give everything I ever had to come back. All I want is to be with you, and all I thought about ever since I left was how much I wanted to just be back safe in your arms. But I can't go back now, no matter how badly I want to be. I have to go, I was only allowed to come talk to you for a short amount of time. Just promise me one thing."
"Anything"
"Keep on living. Make sure I didn't die in vain, Draco. Tell everyone not to cry too much, you seem to be doing enough for all of them, say goodbye to them for me."
Draco smiled wryly through his tears. Somehow Harry had always been able to make him smile, no matter how bad the situation.
"Goodbye Draco. I love you, and when you die I'll be right here waiting. Don't forget me"
"I love you Harry, I could never forget you, please don't leave"
"I have to, this isn't my choice. You have no idea how much I wish I could undo everything that happened today."
"Almost as much as I do."
Harry smiled at him. Draco felt something soft brush against his face as he watched the only person in the world that he loved become lost to him.
~~You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
You were always invincible in my eyes
The only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, and face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing
And how I wish I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word
As if it's your last, I know it's your last
Cause today, oh, you're gone
Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever
And I wish you didn't go
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again
With life in your hands
It couldn't be any harder...harder...harder~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The song at the end is Could It Be Any Harder by The Calling. I know that I already put it in a story, but I thought it fit the story pretty well. I got sick of stories where it's always Draco who dies, so I had to kill off Harry instead. I was feeling morbid. Sorry guys (I am now prepared for reviews involving the phrase "my poor baby!"). Don't ask where that Lucius thing came from, because to be honest I'm not quite sure. If Harry and Draco seem kind of inarticulate, sorry. But come on, they're 18 year old guys and I haven't gotten any feedback about how well I can write sappy romantic dialogue so I don't know how I can improve, plus I had a pretty bad case of writer's block while writing that part. Also, sorry if anyone's OOC, I know that they probably are, particularly Snape. I think I accidentally made him sound like the Metatron in Dogma (the whole "I can't take it back no matter how much I want to" thing), interesting since Alan Rickman plays both characters. As my friends who have been forced to read my stories have pointed out to me, I seem to have a bit of an eye fetish. I knew that already myself, after reading my fics and noticing that I always have *something* with eyes. Nice eyes on guys are one of my obsessions, and since Draco and Harry fulfill that so well I have to put it in somewhere. I have an alternate fic to this one too, with the same beginning and a much different ending, but I don't think anyone would really like it because a lot of people end up betraying others and I doubt that there are many shippers for the people that I put together. It's much less predictable than I'm sure this one was but it would probably cause a lot of you to get mad at me and submit reviews saying "omg how could you do that to them?! Poor (insert name here)! Interesting twist though". If I get any requests I'll post it. Now, go post your review like the nice person I'm sure you are, and if you leave a signed review I absolutely promise to review one of your fics!!!!!!
~IceFire~