A/N: Hello! I hope you are all surviving the hiatus. I'm hanging on with the knowledge that CS always prevails and that Liam is going to be in this season, WOOHOO!
So, since I watched the finale when it aired, I have been wanting Killian to tell Emma about his family and everything that happened with that, so I wrote this. It's a little darker than I usually write but it was a fun and interesting experience.
If you guys would like a follow-up to this about Killian's younger brother, then send me a review. I'm considering it if I get enough responses requesting it, and if I can think of how he might still be alive, because I doubt that they only brought Liam II for a two-minute scene.
I hope you enjoy this, and follow, fave or review, as well as author follow or fave because I will be posting all hiatus long. Also, check out my other CS fanfics, and if anyone has any prompts, send me one and there is a (high) chance I'll write it.
Also, thank you to everyone who has favourited, followed or reviewed my other stories. I get an awesome feeling when I get a notification saying that someone did that and it brightens my day quite a lot, so thank you.
I have a Captain Swan Christmas one-shot coming on Christmas day (Christmas Eve for some of you) which I hope you will all check out. It's a little different to other CS Christmas one-shots that writers have posted so I hope you find it enjoyable.
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters, I only own the storyline.
"Killian, what was Regina talking about before I… you know," she said unable to continue, remembering what it felt like to have to stab her love with a sword she had tethered to his life, to save him.
The irony, the sword that was meant to save him, would be his doom. Although, it might be fitting, the strongest sword in all the realms, taking down one of the most fearsome pirates in all the lands.
"It's ok Swan," Killian reassured her, knowing that she was having trouble coming to terms with her actions. He reminded her in every moment of everyday that he did not blame her, and that he loved her, no matter what had happened.
They had returned from the Underworld with a lot to discuss and a relationship to mend. The love between them was stronger than ever, perks of sharing a mind as the Dark Ones, as well as a heart, but they had a lot of issues to resolve. Their trust in each other was slowly rebuilding itself, and they were coming to terms with forgiving the words they spoke out of anger and betrayal, however Emma still had some concerns about one topic Killian had yet to discuss with her; Regina's confession about Killian's father, before Killian was taken from her.
Emma had been unsure of how to bring up the delicate subject, not wanting Killian to distance himself from her. After deep discussions from both points of view of everything that had happened since the birth of the Dark Ones, and resolving all the tension that was built up from the days they were grateful to have finally put behind them, Emma felt they were finally in a place where she could discuss the sensitive subject she felt apprehensive about.
"The Queen was reminding me of a particularly painful complication I attended to on my path to avenging Milah's death, as well as my lost hand. To secure a passage to the Land Without Magic from her Majesty, I had to kill my father, someone I had not talked to since he sold my brother, Liam, and I into servitude, when I was a mere boy. He spoke to me on his last night like he did every night, he told me that I would soon have to answer life's big question, 'What kind of man am I going to be?' and as every child says, I said that I wanted to be just like my father.
He always told me that when I was scared, all I had to do was look inside and find the bravery that everyone has, even if we think we are not brave at all. That was rich coming from him, seeing as merely a few hours later, he had abandoned my brother and I. He had done many things wrong, and he found that he was going to be caught, and so he ran. I had such faith in my father, in the man that he was, only to find the image I had of a perfect father, was false. That neglect from a young age would have had catastrophic consequences on my young mind had I not had Liam with me to guide me as a father and a brother," Killian shared, tears slowly dripping from his eyes.
Emma who had no idea his childhood was that rough, moved so his head was lying on her lap, and she slowly began to caress his face and rake her fingers through his hair, giving him a sense of safety and home, something he had not experienced for a while. She knew that his father was not present in his life for quite sometime, but she had no idea how deep the rejection had run. No wonder he stressed the importance of choice in every situation, especially when it came to Emma. He had suffered under the clutches of the loss of free will, and did not wish that, not even on his worst enemy, and most definitely not on his true love.
Emma recalled his face when she had summoned him, and his expression, the disbelief that she had taken away his choice to answer her. She felt regret from every situation in which she had left him or removed his free-will, and relayed that realisation, apologizing to him for all the pain he dealt with due to her pushing him away.
Killian again soothed Emma's worries away, and waited until Emma was ready to hear the rest of the tale before continuing. Once he was sure Emma was ready, and with a nod of confirmation from her, he resumed the story of one of his darkest secrets.
"About a century after my father left us, I had met the Queen, and partook in her test to which I was sure I would prevail in, until I learnt of what I had to do. I waited until the tavern had closed, and the last inhabitants left, before speaking to him. I couldn't believe he was alive, but it turns out he was put under a sleeping curse and awoken by True Love's kiss from his nurse, whom he later married and had a son with. That's right Swan, I have a half brother," he laughed scornfully, when he saw astonishment on Emma's face. "Anyway, I didn't have the heart to kill my father, so I procured him a letter of transit, and one for his son as well, with the intention to deliver them to him. I arrived at his cabin, and what I found angered me more than I thought possible, he said the exact same things to my half-brother as he did to me that awful night, and he even had the nerve to call him Liam. He named his son after the most wonderful man to live, an honourable man, someone whom he had rejected and left to take care of himself and his brother.
I could not believe he tried to replace Liam, and that he had promised to not leave his young son, but it had all sounded so much like when he sold my brother and I to an old man, and so I burnt the papers and killed him, for replacing Liam, and for leaving us. I left a boy fatherless, something I had been through and did not want anyone else to have to live with, but I was so set on my revenge that I made my brother grow up without a father to guide him. Unfortunately, everything I did went to waste as I was not able to go to Storybrooke with everyone, when I failed to rid Regina of her mother, Cora," he finished, heaving after having to relieve all the anguish he first felt after everything he went through to satisfy his vengeance, something he felt at peace with now, even after everything the Crocodile had put him through.
"Killian, after everything you have been through, all the pain, all the suffering you have felt, the man you have become is a hero, a man worthy of love, the best man I have ever come across. I'm not condoning what you did, but you made mistakes, ones you regret, just like the rest of us. You have left all the power and all the revenge you held onto for centuries, to grow into a man who his brother is proud of, who the scared little boy on the sea would be proud of, and most importantly a man that you, yourself, are proud of. You have done so much for my family and I Killian, you must never forget that, and we will forever treasure every time you have helped us in some way, or sacrificed yourself. I am proud of you Killian, I know what is has taken to get here," Emma comforted, trying to not release her tears, knowing that right now Killian needed her to comfort him, and that she needed to ensure he knew how loved, appreciated and cherished he was. "The question is, are you proud of yourself?"
Killian did not answer immediately, his head running with thoughts of different actions he has been involved in, both good and bad, until he finally came up with an answer. "There are many things I am not proud of, but I think I am finally embracing the true Killian Jones, and I am beginning to be proud of who I am."
Emma was glad he was not self-loathing anymore; he was finally feeling peace within himself. "Thank you for sharing that with me Killian. I know that it was a hard story to discuss, but I'm delighted that you felt safe enough to trust me with that, and just know that like how you are always there for me, I will always be waiting for you with open arms no matter what."
Killian looked up and smiled at Emma, pleased and so grateful that after all the crimes he committed, he had the chance to love and be loved by such an amazing woman.
"Did you ever find out what happened to your brother?" Emma wondered.
"I'm not sure where he ended up, but I think once everything has settled down in Storybrooke a bit more, I might see if I can find him," Killian revealed.
"No matter what you decide, I am right behind you," Emma smiled.
"I know, and thank you for listening and not leaving after hearing everything I have done," he whispered.
"Hey, we have all done things we are not proud of, but the most important thing is that we realise that, and use the remorse we feel, to repair all the damage that has been caused, something that you have continuously done since I met you.
Remember, we are the lost ones that found each other, we built a home for each other, and I'm not talking about this house, but the love, trust, compassion, empathy we developed and feel. That is what a true home is, and there is no one I'd rather have that with than you."
Emma leaned down and placed a light kiss on his forehead, reveling in the fact that although her man was far from perfect, he was perfect for her and no matter what realm, dimension or time period they get thrown into, they will always find each other, and their perfect little fantasy.