Lily flung herself on her bed, lost, confused, and heartbroken. Tears she had never even dreamed she would spill over him, that filthy little toerag (not to be repetitive, of course, but that was her favorite insult towards that backstabbing pig) rolled down her cheeks. Her pillow soon grew dark and wet as she buried her head in its inviting softness. Lily Evans was in love, and love was not treating her well.

The next morning a bleary and red eyed Lily awoke to an empty dormitory. Brows furrowed, she got out of bed only to collapse at her desk moments later. What had she sunk to? What was happening to her?

She was Lily Evans. The gorgeous, smart, brilliant, stepped out of magazine Lily Evans. The Lily Evans who (though most Fanfiction writers disagree) wore short skirts and low tops and rocked it. Lily didn't need a man. She was a strong, independent woman. Girls wanted to be her, guys wanted to be with her. She had only one friend in the world and that's all she needed. Then where had all of this nonsense come into play?

She was staring into space wallowing in her own misfortune when it happened. It was like fate. A breeze. It came into the window with its chill unnoticed by the depressed girl and gently, ever so gently, rustled a spare piece of parchment. Lily snapped into attention, grabbing it and a new quill (she always seemed to lose the old ones, so why even bother).

Dear James,

She crossed that out. That wouldn't do at all. Weakness? Not a chance.

Potter,

She smiled. Much better. Now what was she supposed to write? When in doubt, recap. Might as well, then they would be on the same page. He should know what happened in her perspective, right?

I'm going to tell you a little story, but before I do, let me give you a little spoiler: you break my heart, do a little tango on it with Lacey, and turn in into a smoothie with your hypothetical blender.

Once upon a time, there was a Lily. Well, Lily got placed right behind James on the seating chart in History of Magic, so off little Lily went to sit there. Everyone knows that is a party class, so they talked and laughed and all around had a good time with each other. Lily became good friends with the boy behind her, and even had a little crush on him. Lily didn't talk to James for half of the school year, though. They only started talking around January or so.

You see, Lily actually though James was a little strange until, every morning, James starting asking her the same question: How was your day today? That struck Lily as a little strange. That was only their second class of the day! How was she supposed o answer? Fine, she would say. My day is going well. Then she would either change the topic or talk to that nice boy behind her.

That was until Lily got curious. One day, she said "My day was fine, how about yours?" "Okay," he said. Lily was startled. No one ever usually said anything but "Fine" or "Good." And that is how they started talking.

Time went on and they became better and better friends. Lily started looking forward to their time together. Sometimes it would be the only good thing about her day. She started slipping slowly and slowly into what she never knew what would grow into love.

Then came that day, that fateful question. He and that boy who sat behind Lily (Brandon, as his name was) walked into class talking to the girl who sat next to Brandon (making her behind and diagonal to Lily). Her name was Lacey. They were pestering her: who do you like? This was not an uncalled for question, and the group of them had become excellent friends in that class. She would not answer, which is when Lily made the first of her many mistakes. She told James to stop annoying her, and told him she would feel terrible if it were her. She asked James how he would feel about it for good measure. She was adding drama to the situation; she had always been good at that.

James shrugged and turned on Lily, asking her the same question. Lily wouldn't answer, but asked if it was true that he had composed a list in the fourth year rating the girls in their house. He denied, demanding to know who told her that. Lily saw her chance to get out of her pickle. Her deal? Tell me who you like, and I'll tell you who wrote the list.

His answer? Cory, the most sought after girl in their year. Figures, thought Lily. A guy like him would never even look at a girl like me. But still, she hoped that somewhere, she was even somewhat attractive to him.

During the time of exams, Lily sent James a note.

So Cory, huh? Are you sure you really like her? It doesn't seem like you do.

James threw her a note back, carelessly throwing it over his shoulder.

yeah.

Are you positive?

yes. k, since u dont think that i like her, ill tell u this... out of the 3 girls i like she is #2.

Ooh, so there are two more? Who is number one? ;)

u wouldnt get it even if ur guessed ur heart out.

So I can? Okay, first question: is she in the two classes I have with you?

yes.

Here, Lily's heart began to rise. Was it her?

Alright... is she one of my friends? That includes people I know on a friendly basis.

sort of. idk.

How do you not know? Okay, I'm going to start guessing names :D Is it Lacey?

y r u so good at guessing?

Lily's world came crashing down around her. She had known what to expect, but she never knew that it would hurt so bad. Why was this happening to her? Sitting there, in the middle of an exam, she felt her heart breaking, crumbling, being stomped on into a million billion tiny little pieces. She couldn't believe that one person could make her feel so elated then agonized at the same time. This was so irrational. Why was she acting this way?

They were perfect together, and she knew it. They looked like a good couple.

Ask her to the dance!

i did.

And what did she say?

yes :D

Well, I'm really happy for you.

thx. hey, could u help me? like, give me advice. cuz ur a girl, and you kno how bad i am w/girls...

Sure. Anything you need, I'm here.

It was the least she could do for him. Anyways, her reasoning was kind of twisted... See, her reasoning was that by pushing him away from her as hard as she could, she would ease her own pain. It didn't work. If anything, it was making her fall more in love with him. It was reason to talk to him at lunch, to spend lots and lots of time with him, to talk to him. She started telling him things she had never told anyone before. She was sure that there was no one else in the world like him. They became amazing friends.

Then came the dance. They day she had been waiting for. The two had never acted like a couple before, she she was anxious to see what would happen that day. She showed up in a mini dress with her hair curled and her nails done, Lacey in a simple summer dress with two small braids pulled back away from her face with the rest of her face. Lily was formal chic, Lacey was simple and casual. That dance did not have a dress code, so it was really up to how the students wanted to look. They were opposites in so many ways. Then James walked into the hall.

Lily's heart stopped when she saw him. Black dress pants, dark blue shirt untucked, dark, dark red tie... he looked so nice. They had had an argument about what he was going to wear two days prior.

"I was wrong!" she said.

"What do you mean?" he yelled back across the pathway.

"The tie! You look nice!" she called. He knew how much she hated to be wrong. He often called her inferior to his superior (he had gotten a Superior ranking on an assignment she had gotten an Excellent on) because he knew how much it ticked her off.

"Thanks?" he questioned. He only questioned this because she rarely handed out compliments to him. It was all part of her plan to push him away.

She thought that any second he would say something about how she looked. She was wrong.

At the dance, he didn't even get onto the floor. He just talked to Lacey the whole time. They looked so awkward together - she, the shy one with her arms crossed, he just standing next to her. People came up to Lily asking her what was going on. Were they together? Why weren't they holding hands? She didn't think she could answer any question without breaking his trust, so she just denied that she knew anything. His trust was really important to her.

At the end of the dance, when the DJ called out the last slow dance, was when Lacey and James finally got on the dance floor. Lily smiled to see him happy. The pain was nothing new, she had been dealing with it for months. It still hurt, but she couldn't do much about it, so whatever, right?

A week later, after the last class Lily and James shared, Lily ran to James as he was leaving.

"You have Transfigurations next, right?" she asked, her heart pumping fast in her chest.

"Yeah, why?" James replied, confused.

Lily took a deep breath. She never had planned on this, but she felt that he just had to know.

"Well, you know how you wanted to know for a while who I liked..." she started, hesitant to move on. Ohmygod, what was she doing?

"Yeah..." he said impatiently.

"I'm just going to say this and walk away quickly, alright?" she said, looking into the eyes that head made her heart swell so many times before.

"Go ahead." James said, waiting for the point.

"You'kaybye!" she said, spinning on her heel and walking away quickly. No one was ever able to keep up with her pace while walking - it was just a fact.

"Hey! Lily - wait up! LILY! Stop!" called James. Lily didn't change pace, but she did try to act normal. She said hi to her friends in the hall, but she was only on one mission - get to Charms, and get there fast.

When she was at the door, James caught her hand.

"James! What are you doing? Transfigurations is so far away!" she exclaimed, shocked and kind of touched that he followed her all this way.

"I'm just taking the other way around. Lily... are you crazy? I mean... you and me... are you crazy?" James said. I guess he was just trying to find words to say, but it really hurt her.

"Thanks, James. Thanks a lot for making me feel so good about myself." said Lily. Forget Charms. She wanted her bed, and she wanted it now. She turned around and ran, leaving James and all her pain behind her.

And that's the story of how you broke my heart, James.

Yours even though you obviously don't want her,

Lily

Lily signed the letter, folded it, and attached to to her owl's leg.

"James Potter," she whispered to it. "I don't care where he is or what he is doing. Get this to James Potter."