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One Hundred Days
A light breeze lifted his hair and caressed his face as he stood in the bright, yellow, late day sun. The grass under his feet was brilliant green. The sky over his head was cobalt blue with fluffy white clouds. The early summer day mocked him with its beauty considering where he stood.
"Hi Emily…" He squeaked.
He couldn't make his eyes look at the marble headstone and the dates of birth and death. Instead, he stared at the single red rose he held in one hand. "I'm sorry I've been gone for a few days. We got back from St Louis today and I came right here. I brought a flower for you."
He laid the blood red rose in front of the headstone. It joined one he had left there four days ago. The first rose's color was faded and its petals were wrinkled and dry, but he left it where it was. He couldn't pick it up and take it away, because it was her flower and that would be wrong.
"We had a bad one this time. We really could've used you."
A solitary tear rolled down his cheek, but he didn't brush it away. "Why did you run away? We're your family. Why didn't you let us help you?"
He'd asked her the same question every day for three months, but she never responded.
"I miss you Emily. You were supposed to stay with us always."
The same rage that had consumed him for one hundred days rose up to choke him again. "I'm so angry… You left me! You weren't supposed to go. I thought you understood!"
More tears wandered down his face. "I don't know how to do this anymore. I need you."
The wind picked up a little, blowing the petals from both flowers that lay nestled in the grass in front of her grave. He stared at them, wishing as he had every day, for the last one hundred days, that he could find a way to change it all.
He couldn't change it all. He couldn't go back in time and save her from a horrible death. He couldn't make it all right again.
He wished for rain to wash away the tears on his face and his memories of her. He wished for a magic potion he could drink that would heal his pain. He wished she'd walk up behind him and touch him on the shoulder. He wished they had taken one more ride home on the train. He wished he'd said goodbye.
He stood up from his crouch in front of her headstone. The wind died down as soon as he stood as though someone had switched off the great cosmic wind machine. The fluttering of leaves on the trees died down to a whisper, and the perfume of flowers around the surrounding graves faded away slowly like smoke from a dying fire. The sun blinded him as he stood. He hadn't noticed that it was setting.
"I picked a new memory today." He said. "Remember when you had to go profile Viper?" He smiled around continuous tears. "You were so mad at us for making you go, but you knew it had to be done."
He reached out and touched the tombstone, which didn't hold the heat of the day for some reason. It was as cold as he imagined the grave to be and it made him shiver. "I hope you're okay wherever you are Emily. I hope it doesn't hurt anymore."
The sky was almost purple when he finally turned away and walked back to his Volvo. He would come back tomorrow and begin another hundred days. He would come back every day for a thousand days… He would come back until he had the answer. He would return until her death made sense.